a/n:
Long time no see. Hopefully, I'll be updating French Kisses consistently from now on. I've been inspired by many individuals recently who have reminded me to write now, revise later. I've always been my harshest critic and I think that's what has held me back from updating regularly on Wattpad. Well, it has finally dawned on me that the only way I can work towards getting published and improve my craft is by writing. And so I shall write.
f r e n c h
k i s s e s
On reste en contact.
As promised Laurent and I stayed in touch, texting one another a few times a day. Our conversations would range from talking about the weather to asking about how each others days had gone. A week had passed since I had visited the Oliver residence in order to check up on Laurent and for the first time, we had planned to see one another.
Because my last class of the day was canceled and because it was around lunchtime, on a whim I decided to text Laurent about meeting up for lunch. Since I knew that Laurent was at work I suggested that I could swing by with takeaway, knowing that he could enjoy his lunch break more if it didn't require joining the stressed out lunch crowd at restaurants.
After a few exchanged messages Laurent and I decided where we would meet up and what I would get for us to eat. Once our plans were finalized I headed out to the restaurant I would get our lunch from. From the restaurant to Laurent's workplace it was a six-minute walk, luckily everything was within walking distance.
By one o'clock I had managed to pick up our lunch and find Laurent's work. Before I could pull out my phone to text Laurent that I had arrived, he walked out of the building's front door. Unexpectedly, Laurent walked out right on time and not empty-handed. In his right hand, there was a small vase of flowers.
"What's that?" I questioned, my eyes drawn to the flowers.
It was as if every time I saw Laurent he had flowers prepared. At our first brunch, when he reintroduced himself, and then at lunch.
"You took care of getting the food and I didn't want to come empty-handed. Also, I had to add a bit of glamor to our lunch here," he replied, giving me a sincere smile that I couldn't help but return.
He took a seat on the building's front steps, gesturing for me to join him a moment later.
Without hesitation I took a seat next to Laurent, passing him his meal. "You're looking well, I'm glad to see that your eye and hand have healed quite nicely."
"I'm equally as glad about the progress, it's nice to not be frightened every time I look into a mirror." Laurent gently placed down the vase of flowers in between us and unwrapped his sandwich.
I too began to dig into my lunch, pulling out just about everything we could possibly need from the takeout bag.
"By the way, I apologize for what Hermes said last time. He's always been the type to interject unnecessary comments into conversations and make assumptions."
I shook my head. "There's no need to apologize."
"It is not like that so I don't want him to have the wrong idea and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."
"It's fine, really," I insisted, knowing that Hermes meant no harm with his comment.
Laurent gently nodded to show his understanding of what I said. It wasn't long before we fell into a state of silence as we ate. Neither of us was keen on talking with our mouths full, therefore, the silence was natural.
While we hadn't shared many words, it was nice to simply be in one another's company. It's quite easy to fall into a state of loneliness in the city. Despite the fact that I was surrounded by thousands of people in Paris, I still had the occasional lonely episode. There were times when I felt especially lonely, my phone calls with Zac often only occurring for a few minutes every few days. Between school, work, and the time difference, Zac and I didn't seem to be on the same page. While we weren't fighting, it wasn't as if we were always happily conversing. Conversations seemed to quickly come to a stalemate and I continued to be unsure on as to whether or not to mention Laurent.
At times I would feel small and as if I were simply someone in the crowd. The hustle and bustle of a foreign city is hard to get quickly adjusted to, especially when I only had a handful of friends in the city. By being around Laurent, I had the opportunity to feel more human and feel as if I somehow fit in.
Laurent wholeheartedly welcomed me to Paris and I couldn't help but wonder if he did everything wholeheartedly.
"Laurent, can I ask you something?" I asked, a particular question burning in my mind since visiting the Oliver residence.
"Go ahead, I'm all ears," he replied, setting down his sandwich on his lap.
For a moment I hesitated, contemplating on as to whether or not I should ask my question. While I had become comfortable around Laurent, I was still nervous to bring up a new talking subject that could be a sensitive one.
"Why are you editing instead of writing?"
"What do you mean?" asked Laurent, desiring the context for my question.
"I saw a photograph of you while I was at your house, from the photo it's quite clear that you won a contest for writing. If you're a compelling writer who is capable of winning writing contests, why aren't you writing for a living?"
"Well, it's really not that simple. I won a few writing contests when I was younger, but that's about it. Being a writer isn't realistic for me, I ultimately lack the talent and creativity to be a full-time writer."
"Who says?"
"Excuse me?"
"Who says that you lack the talent and creativity?" I questioned, pausing for a moment to see if he had a response. "You?"
Laurent stayed silent and diverted his eyes, confirming my assumption.
"A writer's harshest critic typically is himself."
Laurent's eyes reached mine as he gave a sad smile. "I've never heard a more truthful statement."
"If you know that you're hard on yourself then why aren't you writing with that in mind? Why aren't you writing and letting an audience decide whether or not you're talented?" I asked.
"Because I can't," he mumbled, pausing for a moment in order to collect his thoughts, "I can't write properly anymore. I've tried and I've failed. I have over forty stories that have been drafted and I have zero complete. Writing has become a burden rather than an oasis. I feel immobilized by the pressure I give myself and the idea that whatever I produce will be considered clutter rather than art. If I could write I would, however, I can't so I don't."
The sound of my phone ringing pierced the air, interrupting Laurent's explanation. I let it ring for a moment, reluctant to take a call during Laurent and I's conversation.
"You should take it."
"You really don't mind?"
"Of course not, it could be important."
I nodded, grabbing my phone out from my bag. After seeing who the call was from I excused myself for a moment, walking a few feet down the pavement.
"Bonjour," chimed Zac through the phone.
"Hi," I spoke into the phone in a quiet tone.
"Arden, I'm currently packing for Paris right now and I was wondering how the weather is like there."
"You called to inquire about the weather?" I asked, a small smile making its way up on my face.
Zac could have easily looked up the forecast for Paris and yet he was calling me about it.
"That and because I wanted to hear your voice."
"Aren't you sweet?" I replied, acknowledging his romantic nature before I addressed his question about the weather, "the weather's lovely at the moment, a bit chilly but it's pleasant."
"Now that I know how the weather is, how are you?"
"I'm doing well, my classes are going well and I'm slowly but surely acclimating to the city."
"That's good to hear, I'm glad that you're doing well. What are you doing right now?"
"I'm actually out at the minute, one of my classes got cancelled so I'm eating lunch right now."
"Ah, should I let you go then?"
"For now that might be the best, I'll call you back once I get back to the apartment though. I need to tell you something."
I truthfully did need to tell Zac something, something I should have told him long ago.
"I can't wait, talk to you soon."
"Talk to you soon."
Once the call ended I made my way back to Laurent, sitting back down next to him.
"Was it important?"
"Yes, truthfully every call with Zac is important. We hardly get the chance to speak and I really need to discuss something with him," I confessed, knowing that Zac and I's relationship was something that had become fragile.
It was as if we were walking on thin ice. I wasn't being completely honest with Zac and it was my job as his girlfriend to be transparent.
"If you need to go you can, we can always meet up and chat at a later date. Perhaps at a time in which I don't have to return to my mundane job?"
"You really don't mind?" I confirmed, knowing that there could always be a next time with Laurent.
Laurent gives me a smile. "It's fine, really."
"I suppose I'll go then, thank you for having lunch with me," I stated, getting up from the stair step.
"On reste en contact," Laurent called out as I crossed the street.
I looked over my shoulder at Laurent, giving him a coy smile.
Always.