"Kai, babe, come here." Kairi looked up at me setting his truck on the floor before walking to us. Liam helped him climb onto the couch.
My hands were getting clammy. I honestly don't think he's going to understand what we have to say. He's four. I took a deep breath before I started. "You know the lady at the school?"
Kairi looked at me before nodding his head and snuggling into his father's side. My heart ached to tell him. Looking into his eyes I felt tears coming to mine. He's such a good little boy with so much joy to share and who am I to ruin that for him?
Oh, right, I'm his father. I looked at Liam his arm wrapped protectively around Kai and my heart officially broke, I couldn't. "Liam," I started, looking at his face. "I can't. Not now. He's to little and I don't want him to think the whole world is bad."
Kairi looked up at Liam, and quietly said "What did she do? Why did she want me?"
Liam looked at me, took a deep breath and explained everything the best he could to our four year old. Kairi looked up at him with his big brown eyes. "She's a bad lady. We used to be together til papa found out about you. I stopped seeing her, and she lost it." Kairi looked like he understood what Liam was saying. I still didn't think this was right no matter how bad we needed to do this. "All you need to know is that she is bad and if you ever see her again tell an adult and they'll call either papa or me. Okay?" Kairi stared at us for a little while, til he nodded his head.
"Can I go back to my trains now?" I nodded and he turned around and ran to the red and blue trains, scattered all over the living room floor. He was happy we talked it over. I shouldn't be so scared that something is going to happen and I'll lose him again.
"Liam, this didn't help me at all. My heart is still in my ass. I don't want to lose him. Not again." Liam sighed, stood up, grabbing my hand and lead me into the kitchen.
"Zayn, we are not going to lose him, or them, ever again. I won't let that happen." Liam put his hand on belly before pulling me into a hug. He always can make me feel better even if it was just by his hugs and nice words.
XxX
"Zayn?" Liam called as I stepped out the bathroom towel wrapped around my waist another I had been using to dry my hair. He was sat at the desk in the corner his head down staring at the paper work I had that was waiting to be signed authorizing the tour. I might never sign them but they are there waiting for me, per Maya's request incase I changed my mind. I doubt I will.
"Yeah?" I went over to the dresser pulling out a red pair of panties and one of Liam's shirts.
"Why haven't you singed these?" He ran a hand through his hair. I sighed as I pulled the shirt over my head.
"Um, well, when they started talking about touring I was fine with it. Then I heard that Ellie was let out, and then the twins were in the picture. And I didn't want to leave Kai. I told them no." I stood next to him picking up a paper that had my name in big bold letters. They want to call it "Inside this Mind of Mine" to me that is a dumb title but the more I look at the more it grows on me.
"I thought you wanted to tour?" He asked snaking his arm around my waist. I shook my head placing the paper back in the neat pile I had them in. Looking at Liam with his scruff and dishevled hair, my heart aches to go with him when he leaves again for his tour.
"I did, but our babies are more important to me than being on a stage." It was Liam's turn to shake his head. I knew he was going to try and talk me out of it.
"Za-" I put my finger up to his mouth.
Shaking me head I said, "My life right now consists of getting our son to eat his veggies and pick up his toys while waiting for the new babies to come. I am fine with what I have to do. If I make music and not tour I'm good with that. Because my life will be full of cuppies, bees, diapers, babies and you. So I'm okay with not touring." I kissed his lips before walking out to see what Kairi was up to. I left Liam calling him after me.
"Kairi, let's go get a bath, yeah?" I looked in his room to see him playing with his sloth stuffie. He pouted before nodding and trudging to the bathroom. I ran his bath water as he took his shirt off.
"Papa?" I looked at him with my left hand under the faucet to make sure it wasn't to hot.
"Yeah, little love?" I put the stopper in the drain and put a couple of his bath toys into the water as he dropped his pants and climbed in.
"When are my sisters going to get here?" I smiled, my silly little boy. I grabbed a rag and a cup from under the sink as he held a toy boat and made swishing noises as the boat swam through the water.
"What makes you thinking you're getting sisters?" I asked. He shrugged. I filled the cup with water after shutting the faucet off.
"I want sisters, papa." he tipped his head back as I dumped the water on his hair. I laughed grabbing his shampoo, squeezing some into my hand and messaging it into his hair.
"Just because you want sisters doesn't mean you are going to get sisters." I told him reaching for the cup quickly so he doesn't get soap in his eyes. Once the soap was out I reached for the conditioner. "Papa doesn't even get to choose. I would love for you to get sisters. Daddy wants you to have sisters too but it's not up to us." I spoke softly working the conditioner into his brown curly hair.
"I guess so." He was pouting the boat just floating away from him. I rinsed the conditioner from his hair. I let him play for a bit before I gave him the rag and told him to wash his body. I picked up his clothes tossing them in the laundry basket that sat in the hall. I walked into his room and grabbed him pajamas. "I don't want minions." Kairi spoke, he had a towel wrapped around his body water droplets running down his face and legs.
"Which ones then?" I ask putting the ones I had back.
"Chase!" He smiled and I grabbed the blue Paw Patrol pj set that had three puppies on the front; Chase, Marshall, and Rubble. The show was one of his favorites and always watched it in the morning.
"Okay, step in." I said as I held out his underwear. He steadied himself by holding my shoulders, lifting his left leg stepping in, followed with his right. "Kai, I didn't mean to hurt your fellings if I did. I just want you to understand I don't have control over that." I grabbed the bottoms, covered in dog bones and paw prints, holding them open for him to step in.
"I know, papa. I just want sisters." I unfolded the shirt. "Boys are boring." He said lifting his arms. I smiled at that comment.
"Let's hope for sisters then, yeah?" He smiled nodding his head. "Go get daddy. I think he's down stairs getting ice cream." He jumped happily and started to run down the stairs. "Kairi James walked!" I scolded. With a 'Sorry papa.' called he slowed down. I could here him asking Liam for a bowl.
XxX
Kairi was asleep. Liam was rummaging through our dresser drawers trying to find a shirt. I stood in front of the mirror. The shirt I had on pulled up so you could see the red panties that I wore and my growing belly. My bump was small but it was there, it's bigger than the bump I was sporting with Kairi and I think it's because I'm caring twins this time.
My twelve week belly was just starting to poke out. You couldn't tell if I was standing head on, but if I turned to the side you could tell. I turned to the right running a hand over my belly. "They aren't going to get here any faster." Liam called. I giggled.
"I know. I was just like looking. I'm going to be bigger than I was with Kai, much bigger." Liam gave up with the search of a shirt as he closed the drawers. He walked over to the mirror. putting his hands on mine he smiled. What am I going to do when he leaves?
"You're caring twins." He whispered. I nodded turning around in his grasp. I kissed with his cheek.
"You know Kairi really wants sister." I smiled laying my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around me. I could feel his chest rumbling as he laughed. "He was rambling in the tub. Said that girls will be nice because it's just boys." He laughed more, letting me go and walking over to the bed.
"Girls wills be nice." He took a few pillows off the bed. I turned around and looked at my belly again. 'Please be girls' I thought. Smiling, I pulled my shirt down and waked over to the bed. Liam had the pillows set on the floor, and started to pull the blankets down. "I love you." He said climbing in next to me.
I kissed him, wanting nothing more than to be close to him before he left to go back on tour. "I love you too." I was pulled into his chest. I breathed in his old spice sent and melted. "I wish you didn't have to go back. It gets lonely when you're not here. We miss you."
"I want to stay here but I can't leave them to do the show by themselves." He mumbled kissing the top of my head.
"I know." I left it at that and just let him hold me.
XxX
The next morning I woke up alone. Well, not completely alone Kairi was sprawled out beside me. I moved his leg over and climbed out of the bed as a burst of laughter came from down stairs. I pulled on a pair of jeans before walking down stairs.
Walking down the steps I saw Wiatt and the boys. ALL of them.
Liam noticed me and motioned me over to them. I rubbed my eyes as I walked over to him, he snaked his arm around my waist like nothing weird is going on right now. It's not like they are supposed to be in Virginia or anything.
They continued to talk about touring and how they canceled a couple shows because they heard what happened. "You didn't have to do that." I mumbled. "Kairi and me are fine."
"You were crying in your sleep last night. You kept screaming for Kairi and me. Zayn you haven't had nightmares like that in four years. You're not fine." Liam pushed. I did all that? Is that why Kairi ended up in our bed?
"We will stay as long as you need us." Niall called from the fridge. Old habit never die.
I sighed. "Okay." I know that no matter how much I protest they will always win. It's quite unfair, four to one.
I ended up kicking Niall out of my kitchen and making breakfast for everyone. And when Kairi came down the attention was put on him and for that I was very very grateful. The room was filled with laughter and I couldn't stop smiling.
Kairi's giggles filled the room, as he ran around the room telling his uncles of new toys and of the twins. He had Louis running around with him as they kicked a football around the living room, against both Liam and me telling them to take it outside.
In that moment everything was perfect. Everyone was happy. Everyone was laughing and smiling and craking jokes good and bad. I was happy.
And if I felt a little patter in my belly, well no one needs to know about that.
XxX
Well it's been a hot minute. I just started feeling like i want to write again and I am okay with how this turn out, for the most part.
Bees= binkies my niece calls them bees and I find it to damn cute not to have it in here.
Qotc: Do you think Ellie is gone for good or do you think she is going to come back?
Qotc 2: Do you guys even like this or do you want something else from me?
Please answer.
I need to know.
Vote\comment\fan
Kisses,
T.c.