Chapter 10
I follow after Mrs Ainsworth as she darts through the hall to the lift carrying a still Emma. She must be tired not be twisting and turning but then Mrs Ainsworth's movements do not give her chance to. As we wait for the lift to come, I look towards Alyssa's room wondering what she could have done –
"She is supposed to be at school." She speaks. My gaze leaves the shape of Alyssa's door and falls on Mrs Ainsworth. She has finally released Emma's head and stares at the opening lift as if it is a mouth ready to devour her. I step forward into the lift to alert her that we should be going and she follows still in a haze. As soon as the lift closes, I turn to her but I say nothing. Her face is so pale she almost looks translucent and she's trembling.
Once the lift opens into the hall, I wait for her to step out but she doesn't – I guess seeing Alyssa today has gripped her into this state of stillness.
"Are you alright Mrs Ainsworth?"
She jumps slightly and looks at me with the eyes of a stranger.
"Yes dear." She places Emma onto her feet and holds her pale hands together. "It looked like you had f- finished with Alyssa's room you can go now-." She utters and yet she hadn't stayed there long enough to inspect what I had done. With her left hand, she pinches the bridge of her nose and with her right dabs her forehead with a handkerchief she retrieves from her skirt pocket.
"Are you sure – I can stay-"
"No." she almost barks and it startles me. "I have to have a word with Alyssa."
I do not insist anymore since she seems taken by something and I am bright enough to know when I am not needed somewhere.
"Okay Mrs Ainsworth." I say a little too cheerfully as I step out of the lift holding Emma's hand, "I will see you tomorrow then."
"I – I t-think it will be best if you didn't come in tomorrow."
It takes a while for her words to settle into my brain and when they do my mouth drops.
"Mrs Ainsworth." I say but she's gone. I want to ask if I have done something wrong but I do not get the chance to and I would go upstairs but I get the feeling that she doesn't want me there. I look down at a silent Emma who just watches.
"Emma?" I call. I know it is a little peculiar to ask a three year old but it is all I have. "Is Mrs Ainsworth okay?" Even as I ask this question I feel silly but it would have been stranger to ask if her new found carer seemed odd to her.
"Yes mummy?" she furrows her eyebrows confused – I shouldn't have asked.
"It's alright honey." I smile. "Did you have fun today?" I question feeling the guilt of not asking over the lunch hour since I am always busy packing my face.
"I did." She nods. "But I got a tummy ache after lunch." She crunches her nose before giving me a smile. "I am better now... nana gave me mecicine."
"Medicine?"
"Yes mecicine." She repeats, clearly not understanding my correction. I should feel a certain way about Mrs Ainsworth dealing with her stomach ache and not informing me but I am only glad that I did not have to deal with such an anxiety.
"What else did you do?" I question taking my bag over my shoulder.
"Uh... I learnded how to mix colours and hmmm." She points her finger at her cheek, a sign that she is thinking hard at what she is to say next. Mrs Ainsworth has also been in charge of her education refusing to use the learning programme I'm paying for so that Emma doesn't lag behind. Her teaching centres on Alyssa's old books and I'm appreciative that Emma doesn't have to stare at a screen all day in order to learn.
"Did you learn any new words?"
I open the front door and we step out into a breeze that cools my warm skin.
"Many... I learnded many new words." She says, leading the way to the car.
"Learned honey... the word is learned not learnded. So which new words ones did you learn?"
"I don't know." She sings. "They were many words... I cannot remember them all." She chuckles.
"Don't be smart with me young lady."
She stops and looks at me with a cheeky smile before she responds. "Enormous."
"Enormous." I repeat proud that she gets the pronunciation of the word at the first try. I watch her grin and feel the guilt. Not taking her to preschool is a big regret of mine – I however push it to the side knowing that in a year and a few months, it will be compulsory to have her in school and maybe I will be okay with it then. Trusting her with Mrs Ainsworth is proving to be effective and I find that worrying doesn't come easily anymore.
When my car is brought round, I look back at the house – it makes me feel uneasy but I get in and drive away keeping the thought at the back of my mind.
****
It took Mrs Ainsworth three days to contact me and by then it was Friday evening. She did not sound herself but she told me that Monday would be work as usual. I had gone on to ask her whether she was alright but she only responded with a sigh and an unimpressive 'I'm okay dear'. Now I sit here with my head in a book as Emma sits on her table putting a puzzle together. It is how we spend our 'fun' Saturday afternoons but this time; I can barely concentrate because Mrs Ainsworth's demeanour on that day and the phone call won't leave my mind.
"How is that puzzle going darling?" I ask, hoping that a conversation with my daughter will occupy my mind.
"Fine." She says, not bothering to look my way. I am surprised she even heard me speak.
"Would you like some help?"
"No mummy, I can do it all by myself." She sings, sorting through the pieces. She proceeds to stick her tongue to the corner of her mouth as she fixes the piece in its right place and she beams when it settles. "See." She laughs and lifts her head to show me raised eyebrows.
"Are you bragging Emma?"
She scrunches her nose, confused. "What's br- bagging?" I laugh at her attempt at the word before I explain.
"It means to show off."
I expect her to laugh but she looks at me wide-eyed.
"I wasn't showing off mummy." Her breathing suddenly rises as her eyes begin to sparkle. I am taken aback and do not reassure her right away but as she slaps her hand and roughly folds her hands over her chest, I snap out of my surprise.
"Oh no honey... it was a joke."
Her eyes do not settle. They hold an angry scowl that is too adorable to be scary and I struggle to hold my laugh. "Honey serious, it was only a joke." It seems my explanation makes the corners of her lips fall and before I can stand to comfort her, her wails come. "Awww." I coo, lifting her from her seat. Emma hasn't cried in a while and I had completely forgotten how easily she gets upset over a slight tease. Just as I take her hands away from her face to wipe her tears, my phone buzzes.
"Who could it be now?" I question under my breath, irritated. "Emma, mummy has to answer the phone." I utter over her reducing sobs, placing her back into her chair. I reach into my gown pocket and retrieve my phone – Adam. I'm shocked to say the least and it shows in the way my heart jumps into a rhythm that drums at my back.
"Hello." My voice comes out soft, something I do not intend.
"Hello Katie... how are you?"
Very formal, I think but we have only met a few times so I should expect this much.
"I'm fine and you?" I question, managing to control my voice this time. I smile as if I have accomplished the world and go back to listening to the man.
"Good... good." Is his reply before he graces me with an uncomfortable silence. A chill runs down my spine as so many questions slap at my mind. They are so many that I fail to list them to myself.
"Is there a reason you called?" I query, impatient and tense. The palm where my phone is placed begins to sweat and I can feel my phone slip even as I grip it tightly.
"Oh – uh – yes... I wanted to ask if you are finding the job okay."
There's a buzz that comes and throws my mind into a ring that tightens around my thoughts and thinking cap leaving me blank.
"Katie, Katie are you there?"
"Yes... yes."
"I thought you had gone off for a second."
The ring finally breaks and the questions are back. I wonder why he's calling me now after working in the house for more than three weeks and I also wonder if this will be a thing where I have to report to him so that any recording of embarrassment reach his ears before he learns from somewhere else.
"No... uh... work is great, I love it."
Even as I say this, it feels wrong, not wrong but peculiar. It reminds me of a time where I had to report back to my father every day on how my studies had been going. It was taxing to say the least and once I was done with school, I wasn't glad that I would finally get a job and leave the house, I was glad that I wouldn't have to report back to the boss.
"I see..." he says. "I heard that Alyssa's back." I have no idea as to how I should answer his statement but I nod and hope that it reaches him. "How was your meeting?"
Another question that puzzles me.
"Well." I say after a pause. "I guess it was alright."
"Did she see Emma?"
"I'm sorry?"
He laughs. "Nothing... so when do you go back to work?"
I feel my eyebrows knit together at his question wondering how he knows that I am not at work.
"How do you know- "
He doesn't let me finish my question as he adds laughter to his words.
"I spoke to Mrs Ainsworth briefly... she mentioned that you hadn't gone to work."
"It wasn't my choice." I speak immediately after him.
"It's not that – uh... anyway I wanted to check on how everything was going."
I listen to his voice with curiosity and can feel an oddity in the way speaks and questions me. I, however do not feel like I am in a position to throw my own inquiries at him. I find it bizarre and nerve binding but I say nothing.
"Everything is fine." I respond, releasing my tightened brows. Without warning, the phone goes dead leaving me speechless. I take the phone from my ear and look at the screen and watch it in disbelief. I put my phone back into my pocket wondering why I have faced three odd incidents in the space of a week.
****
Monday greets me with a headache. It has been a while since sleep refused to grace me and I wonder how I make it to work in one piece. By lunch time, my head is pounding through my ears and my forehead is dripping in sweat so I settle for a water for my meal as I sit by the French living room area Mrs Ainsworth often uses.
"Oh Katie dear."
I look up to see Mrs Ainsworth with Emma in her arms. I have been meaning to tell her that Emma walks just fine on her own since she's always carried at the hip but I'm afraid it might come across wrong.
"Hi mummy." Emma smiles and I immediately feel like I can live. My gaze falls back on Mrs Ainsworth whose smile seems to have returned. This morning, she had seemed brisk and her smile looked painful but now her eyes are alive and alert.
"Are you alright Mrs Ainsworth?" I question. I'm beginning to sound like a broken record.
"I'm fine dear..."
"Honey... could you go play in your room... I need to talk to Mrs Ainsworth." Your room... it rolls off my tongue so easily, I do not get a chance to take it back. Emma is on her feet and disappears through the corridor. "Keep the door open honey." I yell after her to which she responds an 'okay mummy'.
"What is it Katie?"
I wait a while until I'm satisfied that Emma is in the room before I speak.
"I don't know how to say this Mrs Ainsworth." I begin. "But something doesn't seem right."
She's quick to respond. "What do you mean?" I look at her face and it has immediately drained of colour. This is exactly what I mean.
"I don't know what it is but it seems like something is going on that."
I should feel like I am overstepping my boundaries but my conscience doesn't believe so. Somewhere, deep inside I know that whatever it is might involve me somehow.
"What do you mean-"
She is interrupted by the slight ding of the lift. We fall into a silence and wait for the person to come. It's Alyssa. When she sees me, she stops. Her room is to the left of the lift so I wonder why she didn't go straight there and came this way instead.
"Hello." I say with a smile but she doesn't return it. She looks at Mrs Ainsworth and speaks, angrily.
"What is she doing here?"
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Next Upload 27 September 2017... thank you so much for reading :)