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THUNDER & LIGHTNING
❝There are heartless people who once cared too much.❞
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[ FOUR MONTHS AGO ]
"I WANT TO go there," I pointed to the nearest local park. It was past ten in the night and I had just got off work. Xavier picked me up like the nice boyfriend he was and we had dinner together.
"It's a fast food joint, baby," Xavier reminded me and I nodded vigorously.
"I'm craving burgers, so let's go there," I replied, cheerily.
Xavier shook his head as he looked down, pretending to be disappointed in hanging around with me. I shoved him and he laughed, for he moved not one inch.
"You love me," I whined and pouted at him. Xavier pecked my lips and pulled me, "I do, baby. I love you loads."
"Give me a piggy back ride then," my face lit up as my brain came up with that idea. Xavier looked at me and laughed, "Are you drunk?"
"A tad bit," I laughed. "Chen smuggled some into the hospital without anyone knowing. We had it in our room."
Xavier's pretty facial features slightly hardened as I mentioned Chen but he quickly chuckled and offered to give me a piggy back ride. I was excited. Quickly jumping on his back, I let out a whimper instead of him, to which he resonated, "You're not as heavy as I thought."
I hit his chest and he laughed. The streets were empty and it was just us, two absolutely crazy lunatics out on the streets. The street lights highlighted us and how in love we were and the sweet nothings we whispered to each other had only just one intruder - the calm night.
Xavier carried me to the fast food joint and I quickly got off of him. I cried out loud, "Food!"
"Aw, baby, you're cute."
Leaning forward, tugging at my lips and placing a hand on my hip, I asked, "Am I now?"
"You do seductive pretty well, too."
"Is someone getting hard?"
"Just like you're getting turned on?"
I laughed as I stood up straight. I walked to Xavier and placed a hand on his shoulder. I hugged Xavier and as I pecked him on his cheek, I whispered, "I'd love to have a battle of words over that, but I'm not much into exhibitionism. But baby, if you're into that sort of stuffs, tell me. I'd love to try for you."
Xavier quickly stiffened and I chortled. I walked further ahead and into the fast food joint, leaving Xavier behind. Xavier groaned out loud and yelled as he ran upto me, "I'll get you back for that later tonight."
I turned back, winked at him and blew a kiss, "Can't wait, your highness."
We had a late dinner at the fast food joint. Xavier actually kept up with all my bullshit when I was drunk. I threw french fries at him, everytime he said something corny and he merely chuckled. I played with my food and he didn't look at me judgementally.
We left the joint an hour later. I jumped onto my boyfriend's back after eating too. He complied and carried me.
"Xavier!"
"Yes," he turned slightly up to look at me.
"Look at the stars, Xav," I pointed up.
"I see a black sky, beautiful," Xavier chuckled.
I whacked his head and sighed, "You've no imagination, boyfriend."
"I don't live in a fantasy, girlfriend," he retorted.
I scoffed and retorted, "You actually do. You're a prince, in a beautiful kingdom with amazing parents and hard-working civilians. Also, not to mention, you've a sexy girlfriend. You do live a fantasy any other being wants."
"Ah, if you put it that way," he pretended to wonder. "I do have a sexy girlfriend and I am quite fortunate. I must be living a fantasy, eh?"
I lowered my head to peck him on his cheeks, ensuring my lips lingered on for quite some time.
"Xavier?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you," I waited for his response. Being the first one to tell him that I loved him was harder than I thought it was. Even though I would have been fine with a silence, who wouldn't prefer hearing her boyfriend say it back?
"You mean it?" He asked, his voice lower than usual, yet his words were well heard, thanks to the silence of the night. Xavier lowered himself to let me get off of him and onto the ground.
He turned to face me and I nodded, "Um, yeah?"
Xavier edged closer and cupped my face. It was us against the world. He stepped forward to edge so close to me that I could feel his breath. His eyes were pretty - beautiful green ones.
He leaned forward and I smiled. Was this an approval? And then it happened. He kissed me like I was the world to him. Did I want to change anything? Not one bit. My head was dizzy, my thoughts unformed as he kissed me like I was everything to him.
Back in my head, Ed Sheeran sang out loud. Xavier and I were definitely not kissing under the light of thousand stars, but for now, as long as I had him and he had me, nothing could beat kissing with just the gorgeous moon and pitch black sky.
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"I HOPE YOU have an explanation, baby," Xavier still muttered, ice cold, behind my ear. I shivered and placed the dish back on the table.
"What encounter?" I lied. It almost came out rolling off my tongue and it surprised me. How was it that lying to Xavier was so easy now?
He gripped my hand tight as he moved back. His eyes turned into slits as he sneered, "Stop lying to me."
"I'm not."
Xavier was extremely angry by then. Grabbing the nearest plate behind me, he threw it onto the wall adjacent to me. I winced and leaned to my left, hoping to not have any shard of glass hit me.
"I have pictures, woman," Xavier yelled. "Stop lying to me," he said as he paused after every word, making sure I was terrified of him. Terrified was what I was. I was scared of Xavier because I knew what he was capable of. I had seen him at his worst and best. Little did I know back then that I'd be afraid of him later.
"Xavier," my voice almost cracked as his hand on my jaw tightened.
"Do you have an explanation?"
"Let go of me," I begged. My voice were tones lower. My jaw pained and so did the skin in my hands that he had gripped so hard.
Xavier did let go of me. He pushed me and my back hit the wall and the restoring force just pushed me back forward with an impact. I flinched and cowered in fear.
Xavier filled the nearest glass with water and quickly gulped it down. If only that would cool him.
"Why did you meet up with him, huh?" He lowered with the glass still tight in his grip. I feared if that would be hurled at me now and cowered myself harder.
I remained silent, not out of answer but out of pure fright. I didn't dare to look at Xavier. That would merely intimidate me more.
"Olivia, why did you meet up with Taehyung?" He edged closer and I moved backwards.
"He's my friend, nothing more."
"I didn't ask you what he was. Are you answering out of guilt?" Xavier mocked me and my brain was getting all wired up. The fright did not let me think straight. I was panicking and wanted to flee. I wanted someone to come and save me right now and then.
"He's just my friend. He's just my friend," I repeated over and over again. At that moment, I didn't know whether I was trying to make myself believe or Xavier. Everything seemed hazy. Lines were already blurred. Colours of the palette, mixed.
I never could place a finger on when the change happened. Maybe, it was always there, under the covers. The lion, caged and housed, waiting for its release. Xavier was always caring and then, snap! He wasn't yet he was. It was quite hard to explain how he acted let alone dwell on why he acted so.
Xavier snapped at my reply and threw the glass he had just drank from, aimed at a spot closer to me, yet not at me. The shattered glass flung everywhere around the area. Even after much cowering in fear, a shard flew right at me and scraped my cheek. Profusely bleeding, I winced at the pain.
Xavier's expression noticeably changed. His eyes flashed a genuine concern but he still saw red. It was exactly how Julia mentioned it would be.
Xavier was always possessive and to be honest, initially, it wasn't a bother. It was mere distaste when I spoke to someone from the opposite gender or when I spent time with them. It wasn't to a point where I felt suffocated and choked. It was never to a point where I was unhappy in my own relationship.
"Why do you make me do this to you, babe?" Xavier asked, after minutes of silence. He knelt before me and cupped my face. I moved backwards and tried making it evident that I did not want his touch on me at that moment. Sadly, it didn't seem like he understood. He had another glass in his hand, held so tightly that it would shatter into fragments any minute.
I was shivering in fear. Something I did unconsciously when I panicked or was afraid. My hands lose control and I can't grip anything, absolutely. Xavier looked me in the eye and I cried further. I hated myself for being so weak. I was weak and everything I hated.
I screamed at myself, yelled over and over again that I will not be weak, that I will survive and become stronger. But here I was, still a loser and never have I ever felt worthless and anything lesser than scum than now.
"What is going on?" A feminine voice echoed and I slightly turned. Xavier froze, noticeably. I was exhausted, my strength drained after everything.
"Oh my god," she drawled out slower and rushed towards me. That's when I saw who it was. The one person I wanted to see and the same person who was said to have been out fora party. Gabriella King.
I cried harder. I was hurt that Xavier lied to me, not once but twice. I was exhausted with everything that was going around me. Beyond everything, I felt absolutely distressed.
Xavier had proclaimed that his mother was outside with the king for a party but here she was, standing before me, mortified at the situation in hand.
"Olivia," she gasped and rushed to my side. I was still huddled together and my back was pressed to the wall, finding solace in my own cover. She lowered and kneeled to reach me and engulfed me in a hug, and almost covered me herself as if to protect me from her son.
"What is wrong with you?" She yelled at Xavier. I clutched onto Gabriella's robes and cried. At that moment, I felt protected and rescued.
"Mother, go away. Whatever is going on is between Olivia and I," Xavier replied so sternly to his mother that it surprised Gabriella. She held onto me tighter and glared at Xavier.
"Xavier, leave Olivia alone. I mean it. You do not want your father knowing about this," Gabriella replied, making sure she sounded intimidating.
"Whatever," Xavier firmly sneered at me and threw the glass at the wall adjacent to the one I was against. The impact of the glass hitting the wall was loud and I closed my eyes tightly. Fuming, he walked away, out of the hall and into the huge pathway leading to the chambers.
I still held onto Gabriella, and she hummed to me a melody that reminded me awfully of one that my mother sung to me back when I was a child. She caressed my hair and brushed it ever so gently as she held me close.
"Why didn't you tell me, Liv?" Gabriella asked, concerned and I looked her in her eye, after a long time.
"He's your own son," I replied. I wondered if I could ever talk about anything about her son to his own mother. Even if she had treated me like her own daughter and even if she'd have listened, I would have been talking about her very own son who she gave birth to, on a bad note and that was not right.
"I could have helped you," Gabriella told me and my eyes softened.
"I doubt anyone could have helped us, Gabriella," I replied and pulled myself away from her hold. She looked at me for a minute and then, her attention went onto the distinct cut I had on my face and the bruises all over.
"I'll get the first aid. Stay right here," Gabrielle panicked and told me as she stood up. I shook my head to indicate denial and got up. I mumbled, "I want to go back home. It's fine. It's nothing major."
"Stop acting like a child, Olivia," Gabriella sternly told me. "I'll get the first aid."
"It's fine. Julia would be worried as to why I'm not home yet. I'll be fine, Gabriella. Don't worry," I smiled as much as possible to make sure she trusted my words. She looked at me, unsure as to whether to let me go in this state or not.
"Trust me, Gabriella," I smiled. "I'll take a cab. I'll be fine," I emphasized to reassure her.
She nodded and said, "At least, allow me to have one of our drivers to drop you. I insist."
"That'd be nice," I smiled. Before leaving, I went to the nearest washroom and wiped my face off the stained makeup. Gabriella engulfed me in a warm hug and told me to take care and I nodded. Agreeing was all I did for a while, now.
The mansion passed by me in the car quickly just as I wished. I looked out and smiled at the city buzzing with joy and frolic at this hour. Xavier and I were a part of this once - joyous and everything happy. Down the lane, everything changed. We changed. I doubt I'd ever know who changed first. Was it me or was it him?
Xavier and I were liars. He lied to me to have me all to himself while I lied to him to save myself. I doubt if there would ever be anything more toxic in this relationship than us.
After all, we were both liars, clinging onto fragments of each other that were lost and long gone, only for it to never return.
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annyeong haseyo!
i hope you had a great week. drop by and tell me all about it.
i'm stanning sehun so hard currently that i have written four chapters of this small crazy idea i had with him in it. i'm sorry. i'm really doubting whether to post it or not.
vote and comment, if you liked the chapter and drop by your feedback. i'd appreciate that. thank you. saranghae.
much love, ruth x