Ignore weird mistakes and typos, enjoy :)
dedicated to @lunarlevana_for the amazing trailer that she made me!
* * *
Chapter Thirteen: A Thousand Little Girls
Librarians were weird.
I know librarians are supposed to be strict about enforcing the 'whispering' rule, but I didn't expect the school librarian to be so freakishly religious about it that people would hide behind the bookshelves just to avoid her. Actually feeling her spit as she shushed me harshly and then getting a dragging lecture about how students need complete peace and quiet to study and that the library was made for that purpose had me leaving in the middle of her telling me a statistic. I thought those kinds of librarians existed only in books and movies, not in GreenRidge High.
With the internet down at the apartment, and since I'm actually attempting to keep my grades up before the end of the semester, I dragged my happy ass down to the library to find something that might help me understand biology more. Because, right now, I have no idea what the hell Ms. Rolland is droning on about every day. Trying to understand what she's talking about gives me a migraine.
"Excuse you! I am speaking to your, mister, do not walk away from me!"
I rolled my eyes as she continued to call out reprimands at me. I guess I'll just ask Mark if he could give me a hand. He should be thrilled that I'm making an effort in school, but I doubt that a geography teacher like him will understand biology. Especially since he probably hasn't looked at these kinds of topics for years now.
I pushed open the library doors and made my way towards the exit, fully determined to get home before it gets too dark out. Just as I turned the corner, I caught sight of a figure struggling to stuff a stack of books into her backpack.
"Jessica?"
As expected, Jessica turned at the sound of my voice, saying, "Oh, hey."
She stopped in her tracks and bent down to place her bag on the floor, shoving a variety of books into it. Some of the books weren't ones someone would read out of free will, either. Biographies on people like Theodore Roosevelt and Martin Luther King Jr, a couple of math textbooks and some slim history books didn't sound so interesting. Once realising that she couldn't fit all the books in her bookbag, Jessica stood up with some in hand.
"Thirsty for some knowledge, sunshine?" I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Just bringing home some books for the kids," she explained, the corner of her lips turning up in a smile. "What about you?"
"I was lectured by the librarian about the importance of keeping quiet in the library while trying to look up a few stuff on the computers there. I kind of just left in the middle of her talking," I said with a one shoulder shrug.
Jessica laughed easily. "Seems like something you would do. What were you trying to look up?"
"I didn't really understand the bio lesson today in class, so I was trying to research about it in the library. Internet's down at my place, and we have a test next Wednesday." I scratched the back of my neck, feeling slightly embarrassed about my words. Not what you expected from the school's 'bad boy,' but, hey, I'm trying for Rebecca here.
"Aw, you really do care about keeping your grades up," Jessica cooed, standing on her toes to ruffle my hair. I pulled away with a scowl, causing her to laugh and shake her head at me. "Y'know I can tutor you, if you want."
"Really?" I asked.
She nodded. "Mhmm. In fact, why don't you come down to the orphanage with me and we'll study up in my room? Sylvia's been asking about you lately," she said.
"Is that even allowed?"
"You're a visitor, she won't mind. The orphanage has been slowly lately, anyways. C'mon." Jessica looped her arm through mine and tugged me along.
"Do you ever get scared walking home, sunshine?" I asked her out of the blue as we walked across the empty parking lot. Jessica, startled by my question, looked at me with wide eyes. Once she understood what I was asking, she looked down at the books she was holding.
"Sometimes. After an episode like the night on the roof is when I feel the most paranoid," she admitted quietly. My fists clenched by my sides. She shouldn't have to feel that way. Passing through an alleyway, Jessica jumped as a trash can abruptly collapsed from inside. Instinctively, I glanced around and pulled Jessica close to my side, feeling her muscles instantly relax against me. "I do feel better when I walk home with someone, though," she added breathlessly.
"Yeah, I feel better when someone's with you, too," I muttered to myself absentmindedly, my eyes scanning the area behind us carefully. Once I was clear a druggie wasn't going to jump out of nowhere with a broken glass bottle as a weapon, I looked down at Jessica to see her chest rising and falling rapidly as she looked around us. "Hey, I got you. Don't worry," I told her softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
She gripped the books closer to her chest and matched my steps. "Sorry, I'm just being paranoid again. They're not going to let your beating them up slide so easily," she said.
"And I'm not going to let their hurting you slide so easily, either. Let's just hurry up, yeah? It'll be all right once we get there," I muttered and pulled her into a crowd of people waiting to cross the street.
* * *
What I didn't expect upon going inside the the orphanage was for the eleven girls living in the orphanage to come running to meet Jessica . . . and then throw all kinds of pillows at me while screaming goddamn bloody murder. There was no doubt in my mind that I didn't destroy some ear cells or something with that level of high-pitched shrieks.
Jessica rolled her lips into her mouth in attempt to keep herself from laughing, yet her shoulders shook with the failure to suppress it. My hands were still clamped tightly over my ears. Most of the girls had made a break for it after they damaged my eardrums more than my body, which was assaulted by pillows just a few seconds ago. Only a few were standing their ground, laughing and giggling like they've seen a clown smash a pie in someone's face.
Kristy appeared at the doorway, Sylvia by her side with a knowing smile. "They like to do that sometimes," she explained simply, shrugging as if this was not an unusual thing.
"Right." I nodded stiffly and let my arms drop back down to my sides.
"It's like their self-defense from bad guys," Kristy added. I raised an eyebrow at her, watching her lean against the doorway and cross her arms across her chest, her face completely straight but eyes holding something I couldn't understand.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked her challengingly.
"Nothing," Jessica quickly interjected. She shot Kristy a warning look and was rewarded with a sigh from the young teen. Slipping her bag off her shoulder, Jessica took the rest of the books out and held it towards the two. "I've got the books, so you guys can get started. Reece and I are going to go upstairs and study."
The corner of Sylvia's eyes crinkled as she smiled at the both of us. "Of course, thank you, dear. And Reece, how are you?" she asked.
"I'm fine, thanks."
"Well, go on, you two. I'm going to give these books to the girls," she said and walked towards the living room, the lingering girls ducking under her arms to get ahead.
"C'mon, let's get studying," Jessica chirped, her tone suggesting that studying was the most thrilling activity in the world and she couldn't wait to get started.
"Can't wait," I muttered, letting her drag me up the two cases of stairs to her bedroom in the attic.
* * *
I was done.
Literally done with this.
"Sunshine, stop. My brain's going to explode if you say another word. Do you want my brains splattered all over your walls?" I moaned, falling limp against her bed covers.
Jessica looked thoroughly amused as she let the textbook fall from her hands and into her lap, her eyes teasing. "You can handle a couple fist fights but not a couple notes on cell structures and their functions? It's honestly not that hard, Reece," she said with a tone of ease.
"Easy for you to say. Biology is probably your best subject," I grumbled. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to alleviate the pain of hours worth of studying. A throbbing headache is nothing new when it comes to school.
She held up a finger. "Uh, wrong! Photography is my best subject."
"Sunshine, stop talking," I sighed.
"Oh, don't be like that. It's only been, like, an hour and a half."
"Seriously, sunshine, stop."
"Just read over this chapter and we'll see if that works –"
"Can you shut your goddamn mouth for five seconds?" I yelled, slamming my palm against the mattress and hitting her with my harshest glare.
Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply through my nose, pressing the palm of my hand into my eye sockets. School has always been a struggle for me, so I don't know why the hell I voluntarily put myself through this torture. With my tough childhood, I was enrolled into school a year later than I was suppose to. Struggling in and out of school, it seemed best back then to give up on one option to help equal out the struggle. But even with my out-of-school life better than it was back then, the pain of sitting for hours trying to comprehend one subject was still as difficult as it was all those years ago.
"Reece." Jessica's voice was soft, gentle. The apology was evident in her voice, and, immediately, I felt a tinge of guilt for snapping at her. After all, she did offer to help me out. The least I could do is be less of an ass. "We can take a break, it's okay," she said quietly.
I blew out through my mouth and turned on my side to look at her. With the face of a guilty child, Jessica stared back at me with apologetic eyes. "It's fine, sunshine. I'm sorry for yelling at you," I said honestly. Unconvinced by my words, I sat up and turned to face her. "School's always been hard for me. Slacking off and then all of a sudden deciding to make an effort isn't an easy train to hop back on."
"I'm sorry."
I gave her a half-smile and said, "Really, it's fine."
Jessica, hoping this would help right a not so terrible wrong, compiled all books and worksheets and dropped them on the floor next to the bed, out of sight. "We'll continue this another day," she said.
"Thanks for helping me today."
"It's cool." A smile erupted into her face as a knock came at the door. "Come in," she called.
A girl with white blonde hair pulled back into a long ponytail poked her head into the room and shot us a big, goofy smile. "We're done. Coming out?"
Jessica answered with an excited smile of her own, saying, "Of course. Reece and I need a break, too."
"Wait." I looked between them. "What's happening right now?" I asked cautiously.
The girl giggled and gestured with her hand. "Just come on!" she urged enthusiastically. Then she disappeared from the door.
"Let's go," Jessica urged, and I stood up and followed her out the door, regardless of my confusion. As we walked down the stairs, Jessica began to explain, "Usually after the girls are done with their chores and studying, they like to go out and play for a bit. It's their favorite part of the day, probably the only reason they bother to work hard to finish," she joked.
Loud footsteps could be heard from our place on the stairs, voices hurriedly calling out to one another. Jessica and I had just reached the bottom of the steps when we were pushed to the side by a child wrapped up in what looked like a giant jump rope. Another girl followed, this time holding bright pink hula hoops that made rattling noises as she quickly followed her friend out the back door.
Their play area wasn't much. To be honest, it was basically just a small lot surrounded by bricks stacked high to create a barrier from the outside. Drawings done in chalk decorated the blacktop and walls, a few worn out lawn chairs scattered carelessly near the door. Before us, the girls were already engrossed in a heated debate on who was going to go first in a game of double dutch.
I was shoved roughly by a shoulder as Kristy pushed her way past me without a glance back. What, I thought with a scowl thrown at her backside, is her problem?
"Guys, do bubblegum, remember?" she called out to them.
"Ooo, ooo! I'll do it," came the excited cry from one of the eager children. The little girl turned to the others and began her chant, "Bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish? One, two, three . . ."
"Hey," Jessica called out to Kristy, a frown tugging at her lips as she looked at the kids. "Where's Darcy?" she asked.
"She didn't want to play with us," answered a girl who decided to hula hoop instead of joining the others for jump roping.
"Again?" Jessica exasperated, twisting herself around to glance back at the house.
"I tried to convince her to come out, but she didn't want to," the girl continued, shrugging.
"Who's Darcy?" I piped in.
Jessica sighed and sat down on the cemented stairs. Her chin rested on the palm of her hands as she sulked. "Darcy's been really antisocial. She likes to keep to herself," she explained.
I sat down next to Jessica and asked, "What's her story?"
"She came to the orphanage not too long ago after being taken away from her parents. They were abusive and didn't treat Darcy right. A neighbor had reported them to child services after Darcy escaped her apartment one night, hurt and in tears."
"How old is she?"
"Six?"
"Six?" I nearly shouted, snapping my head towards Jessica in shock. Her face was solemn than I've ever seen it before.
"What's even worse than her parents' inability to raise a child is that Darcy didn't get the love she deserves," Jessica continued in a broken voice. She peered over at me. "How can they treat their own flesh and blood like that? How can a person not love their own child and treat them like they're nothing, like they're just a burden?"
"I'll go find her."
Jessica's eyes widened as I abruptly stood and turned to head back into the house. "Wait, Reece –" she started to say, but I was already pushing the door open and stepping inside. My hands were still clenched into fists as I wandered around the first floor in search for a stray little girl.
How many times have I asked myself those questions when I was little? How many times did I want to run away every time I came home from school to find my dad drunk out of his mind, so far out of it that he couldn't remember laying a hand on me until he caught sight of the bruises and cuts on my body the next time he was sober again? How many times did I feel like completely worthless every time my dad looked at me with looks of neglect, anger, and disgust?
Too many to count, that's how many.
Climbing up the stairs and walking down the narrow hallway, I looked into every room in search for Darcy. Then, finally, as I stopped in front of the last door in the hallway, I saw a little girl hiding in the corner, brushing a small plastic brush through a barbie doll's hair. She was young, definitely. Freckles dotted her cheeks and her nose, and her messy, straight brown hair was so long that it nearly brushed against the floor.
I slowly raised my fist and knocked against the doorway, gentle enough not to scare her. Her eyes widened when her big doe eyes landed on me, freezing mid-way into brushing her doll's hair. For a moment, we just stared at each other from across the room. Her gaze was innocent. She was so, so innocent. Jessica says she likes to keep to herself, but I was surprised when she raised a hand and gave me a shy wave. I took note in how she pressed herself further into the corner as I stepped into the room.
I cleared my throat and said in the most friendly voice I could, "Hi."
She blinked at me.
"Are you Darcy?" I asked, taking another step closer. A smaller step this time. Who knows, she might throw her dolls at me rather than the pillows I was ambushed by earlier.
She confirmed this with a nod and a quiet, "Yeah." Her voice was so soft I had to strain my ears to hear her clearly. "Who are you?"
"Me?" I poked a finger to my chest, raising an eyebrow. "Well, Darcy, my name is Reece."
Her head tilted to the side. "Like that one candy? That's my favorite candy."
I felt the corner of my lip twitch up into a smile. "Exactly, just like that. I'm not sure if you remember me from that night I brought Jessica back."
"I remember," Darcy said, putting her doll down. I closed the distance between us, standing before her as she looked up at my height. "Are you the one that saved Jessica from the bad people?" she questioned.
"Yes, I guess I am."
"Oh."
I chuckled. "That's all I get? No thank you?" Darcy's eyes widened, realising her mistake, and I chuckled again. "It's fine, Darcy. So why aren't you playing with the others outside?" Again, she shrugged. "Do you mind if I stay here and play with you, then?"
"You wanna play with me?" she asked in that vulnerable tone of hers.
"Yeah," I said with some vigor in my tone, sitting on the floor next to her. "I'd love to play with you, Darcy."
Darcy quirked up in her seat, a smile playing on her face as she picked her doll up again and continued to brushher hair. "Wanna play a game I made up?" she asked, her doe eyes meeting mine.
"Sure, kid."
Darcy got up and walked two beds over and kneeled down in front of what I assumed was a toy chest. She pulled out a box with a lid on it and came to sit next to me once again. What was inside nearly made me groan. Accessories, clothes, and, of course, more barbie dolls sat inside. Darcy laid the items out in front of me and stood up again to fetch one more thing. She actually looked excited as she plopped down next to me with a scarf in hand.
"What's that for?" I nodded towards the knitted scarf.
"To blindfold you," she answered in a tone that made it seem like I was incredibly stupid for asking her that question. Reaching into the box again, I almost choked as Darcy took out a fully naked barbie doll and held it out to me. I stared at it for a second, switching my eyes between her and the doll that was currently showing all private parts. "Take it," she urged, shaking the thing in my face and pushing it closer to me.
"Uh . . ." I took the doll in my hand and held it out in front of me. "Any reason why this barbie is completely naked right now?" Is this what fathers would like their daughters playing with?
Darcy giggled at my discomfort. "Because you're going to dress it up blindfolded," she explained.
"Blindfolded?"
She nodded vigorously. "And you have to make her look pretty. Okay?"
"Seems kinda unfair and hard, don't you think?" I muttered, looking at the items Darcy had laid out in front of me. There were various dresses, shirts, shoes, and shorts to pick from, I don't know how I'm suppose to make my naked barbie doll look pretty if I can't see what the hell I'm putting on it.
"But that's the challenge," Darcy replied and handed me the scarf. "Are you ready?"
"Well –"
Her expression dropped, the excitement in her eyes dying out as she said, "You said you wanted to play with me."
Dammit. "I do, I do. All right, I'll put this on," I said and tied the scarf around my eyes.
"Can you see?"
"Nope."
"Okay, go, then."
Barely holding back a sigh, I reached out and felt around for the items I could've sworn were just in front of me. My fingers brushed against a piece of fabric, and I had to trace every part of it just to figure out that it was some kind of shirt. "So I put it on the doll?"
"Mhmm."
"Okay . . ."
This game officially became one of the most awkward games I've ever done in my life. It didn't help that I had to practically grope the doll just so I could figure out how to slip on the clothing. What would Rebecca say to letting a child watch me touch a naked doll as I try to dress it up? As if that didn't sound dirty enough, right? Kyle's sure going to get a laugh out of this.
"I think I'm done," I said after a while of me feeling doll accessories and Darcy giggling as I did so. She fell into a more intense fit of laughter as I took my blindfold off and saw the end result. "Oops." I turned turned the doll in my hands.
"You didn't make it pretty!" Darcy shouted at me.
"I didn't even put the clothes on right, Darcy," I argued with her, holding the doll out for her to see the mismatched clothing that were put on backwards and not closed fully.
"I think the shoes fit with the top, though," said a voice from the doorway. Jessica stood leaning against the frame, her arms crossed against her chest and a soft smile playing on her lips. Her eyes were focused directly on me, gentle and thoughtful.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Since you were struggling to put on the left shoe on the right."
Darcy laughed.
"All right, I'm done playing dressup," I muttered, throwing the barbie into the box.
Jessica chuckled and walked into the room. Kneeling down next to Darcy, she placed a kiss on the side of her head and pulled her into a hug. "Is this what you've been doing for the past hour?" she asked.
Darcy smiled. "Reece played with me today. His name's like the candy."
Jessica's eyebrows rose. "That's true, isn't?"
"His name is Reece, so it fits. Isn't that cool, Jessica?" Darcy asked enthusiastically, looking up at Jessica with a spark in her eye. Definitely a change from when I first got here.
"Very cool, Darcy," Jessica replied. "Why don't you go tell the girls about the game you've invented? I'm sure they'll love to play sometime."
"Really?" Darcy asked quietly, doubting herself.
"It's a lot of fun, I'm sure they'll love it," I assured her, earning another one of Darcy's happy smiles. Finally agreeing, she hopped off Jessica's lap and ran out of the room, already yelling to the others about a new game idea. I leaned back on my arms and watched her leave, feeling satisfied with myself.
Jessica looked at me. "She's never been like that before," she admitted. "Thank you, Reece."
"My pleasure, sunshine. She's a really great girl," I said honestly.
"Yeah, she is." Jessica smiled softly. Then, she looked at me wickedly. "So . . . right from left, huh? Need some help figuring that out?
Eyes narrowing, I reached into the box and threw the doll at her. Jessica squealed when it her, laughing as she took one of the shoes off and threw it back at me.
It hit me on the face.
"All right, I see how it is," I said tauntingly, pushing myself on my feet. Jessica's eyes widened, and she was up and out the door in a split second, her squeals and laughter trailing behind her. Not bothering to suppress a smile, I shook my head and chased after her.
* * *
Literally rushing through this a/n bc i really want to post this and it's getting late. not much too say but i've been wanting to introduce darcy for a while now :) sorry i've been so quiet lately! summer for me starts on june 4 and i'm literally dying of work right now, but i wanted to post this before i focus more on that. once summer starts, updates will be more frequent. i'll probably come back and fix mistakes later bc i rushed in editing this. that's it!
-jesse x