I decided to move to a couch this morning. I don't exactly know why. Maybe it was my way of a silent goodbye.
I've decided to leave the facility, but I've also decided I'm not going to tell anyone, hence the silent goodbye. I want to be able to spend time with them today so I'll remember them better tomorrow. I'm just hoping I'll be able to remember them while they're happy. I want to try and rid my memory of all of Steve's worried looks, and Nat's pity. I don't want to remember Tony treating me as if I'll break if he speaks too loudly in the same room as me. The only thing I see of Wanda is the random memories that show up sometimes. Clint was the only one who didn't change the way he acted around me, but he didn't even stay for very long. He had a family to go home to. He offered me his home, a place to lay low and heal for awhile, but I said no. I didn't want to intrude.
So, here I am, sitting on the couch for the first time since I got here, with a bowl of untouched popcorn sitting in front of me.
Tony shows up in the doorway, out of breath and confused.
"Is everything okay? I just got here from the city and Friday told me you were in here and I don't remember the last time you were out of your room."
"I'm fine." I look down at the bowl in front of me before holding it out to him, like a peace offering. "Popcorn?"
"Are you sure you're okay?" He gently takes a seat next to me on the couch.
"Yeah. I'm feeling better."
"Well the popcorn is untouched." He points to the bowl as he sits next to me on the couch, taking a handful. "I'm assuming that means your appetite isn't back."
"I've been eating."
"You've been drinking smoothies that Natasha is basically forcing you to drink."
"It's something." I smile. Not a real one, just one that might help Tony feel better. But sometimes it's hard to fake happiness to someone who's been doing it most of his life.
"No one is expecting you to feel better right away, Riley. We just want you safe and healthy." I nod my head.
"I know." We look at each other for a minute as my face goes serious. "I just wanted to thank you for everything, Tony. You've done so much for me and I don't think I'd be alive if you guys hadn't taken me in when you did."
"Duly noted." We sit in silence for a few seconds as I try to think of anything to say.
"I like to take walks." I abruptly state, but I already know where I'm going with it.
"Okay." Tony's voice trails off at the end, waiting for me to continue.
"Steve always has the alarms activated, and he won't give me the security codes. I'm only able to go outside if one of you guys are with me and it always just seems like a huge inconvenience to ask,"
"No need to go on." He holds his hand up to stop me from talking more. "Got a pen?" I glance around before handing him one that was sitting on the coffee table in front of us. I watch as he rips a page out of a magazine and begins writing. "These codes are specific to you, so we'll still know when it's you leaving and coming back, but that's something we do for everyone." I nod my head as he hands the paper over.
"Thank you, Tony."
"There's no need to keep saying that." He waves his hands in front of me before standing up off the couch. "I've got some work to do but how about we watch some super cheesy reality TV next time I'm around?"
"That sounds amazing." I smile up at him as he walks out of the room, but it falls as soon as he turns away.
I wish I didn't have to leave everyone, especially not like this, but I no longer have any other choice.
>.<
"Tony upgraded these, wanted me to give them to you." Steve places my new, upgraded knives on my dresser across the room. I guess he trusts me with them again, and just in time too. "There's buttons or something on them that do different things. He says you can use them to shock people and a bunch of other stuff. He'll tell you more about it when he's back in a few days but he wrote out some of the basics. It's in his lab if you want to take a look." I nod my head as he turns around. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Rils. I missed you."
"I've been here."
"I know. But you weren't you, and I understand that." I get up from my bed and hug him. He tenses up at first, surprised, before hugging me back.
"Thank you for everything, Steve."
"Of course, Rils." He pulls out of the hug and looks down at me. "There's a new suit in the lab too. A lot more safety features. Bullet proof chest piece I think. You should check it out when you get a chance, see if you like it. It's mainly black this time but I think it has just enough gold for your taste."
"Thank you, Steve." He nods his head.
"I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight." I watch him as he leaves and closes the door behind him before examining the knives. I hold them both in my hands as I study them. Tony put a different button for each of my fingers to press, and each button let off a light of a different color. The handles fit into my hands perfectly and the blades seemed to be slightly longer.
I place them both back down on the dresser next to where I had the holsters sitting before pulling a suit case out from under the bed. I open my closet up and begin to shove as much as I can into the single suit case.
"Going somewhere, Ms. Riley? Shall I contact Mr. Stark?" Fridays voice comes from the speaker in my room. Sometimes I forget she can literally see everything that goes on in this building.
"No." I state. "I'm just going to go to the city for the weekend. I want to surprise Tony." Friday complies and I continue packing everything.
I shove all the toiletries I can fit into a bag before stuffing it into the mostly full suitcase. I'm trying to leave enough space for the suit, just in case I want it. I tie the laces of my running shoes before grabbing my suit case and bringing everything down to the lab with me.
I immediately see the suit on display and can't help but walk up to it.
"Couldn't sleep?" I jump as I notice Sam standing across the room. "I couldn't either. Thought I'd come down here and see if I could find anything interesting. You've got a cool new suit there."
"Yeah. Steve told me about it earlier and I couldn't stop thinking about it." I glance over at the suitcase that's sitting behind me, noticing that a desk is blocking it from Sam's view.
"Why are you fully dressed if you were trying to sleep?" He motions down to my shoes and leggings.
"After checking out the suit I was planning on going for a short walk. Just to clear my head, you know?"
"Want some company?" I shift my weight. He's being persistent and I can't tell if he knows what I'm doing or if he's just trying to be a good friend.
"No, but thank you for the offer. I use walks as thinking time, so it's just easier when I'm alone." He nods his head.
"Well 'night then."
"Goodnight, Sam." I watch him as he walks by me, subtly moving my body to block my bag as he goes by.
"I'll see you in the morning." I don't respond as he walks out the door and down the hall.
I stare at the suit a little while longer, trying to decide whether or not to take it with. I weigh the pros and cons, but ultimately decide I'm just being stupid. I'm trying to leave this stuff behind, and bringing my uniform isn't going to help with that. I'm only bringing the knives for protection.
I make my way back upstairs with a backpack on my back and the suit case trailing behind me. The only things I'm leaving behind is a note I left on my bed for everyone to find in the morning, and my uniform. I'm taking everything else, and I'll finally be out of everyone's way so they can just move on.
The sun is just barely starting to come up as I grab the car keys labeled with an R. I throw everything in the back of the car and I drive to make a stop at the bank, and then the closest airport. I leave the car somewhere Tony can easily get it back, especially since he has a tracker on it. Then I make my way into the airport, buy a cheap plane ticket for a country in Europe I've never been to, and go to wait at the gate.
I'm ready to finally start over.