*warning: images of suicide ahead*
4.
I had remained quiet through the night as the two men confidently walked ahead of me. No matter how tempted I was to turn back and run, I knew I could not. My love for my family was too great; I could not put them in danger. So as the moon rose higher and my feet began to bleed onto the sharp undergrowth, I dared not utter a word. But as the trees grew dense, and darkness clung to the bushes making them appear like figures watching over me, fears tight and unrelenting fingers began to squeeze around my heart. The thoughts clouding my brain darkened and all I could think about was that I was probably being taken to an underground rape circle. It was then I realised my inevitable fate, which lay in the hands of the two men who had taken me from my home.
As much as I feared my own death, I would not die at the hands of an abusive man. I pretended to stub my toe on the next rock that came across my path; clutching my toe and swearing under my breath. One of the men glanced my way, only to roll his eyes and tell me to stand up. With his back turned, I quickly scooped up a thick stick into my palm and let go of my foot. It was dark, but I could tell it was strong enough as I squeezed it into my palm.
It was strange, the sensation that overcame me. My life did not flash before my eyes, nor did I remember my happiest memories. Instead, I only thought of the day I had attempted something like this following Lucas' disappearance. It was a Monday and the sun was shining to bright. It was as if the outside world wished to deceive me, to make me believe things were better than what they were. My best friend was gone, my parents ignored me, and I blamed only one person; myself. I had sharpened my school scissors; I had planned to drive it into my arm. But before I could do so, my sister called out my name and asked if I wished to go to the movies. It wasn't divine intervention, but it was a reason for me to let go of my selfishness and think of someone else. Looking back, I truly had no real reason at all to leave my life, my family.
But walking behind those strange and uncanny men to a wretched fate, my hands had already made their decision. My fingers trembled with a deep unconscious desire to meet the darkness that blanketed my soul.
I drove the stick into my jugular.
Blood gushed from between my fingers, trailing down my neck and onto my chest. It collected in the hollow of my collarbone as I gasped for breath, warming my cold skin. The two men turned to me, wide-eyed and frantic as they rushed towards me. I felt hands on my neck, a futile attempt to stop the blood from gushing from the large hole where the stick had once been. I smiled, my eyes drooping, and began to chuckle. They would never get what they wanted from me, and they would not attack my family if I were dead. I fell happily into the darkness, watching the dark eyed man call out in horror as I slipped from his grasp and into nothing.
I woke to subtle warmth on my back that only the summer sun could bring. For a moment, I believed I had passed on and gone to what humans call 'heaven'. But I was an atheist, so I only awoke to the harsh reality that I had not succeeded in my quest for death.
How unfortunate.
My breathing hitched, there was a sharp pain in my neck, and I tried to pry my eyes open. I was extremely uncomfortable, laying on what seemed to be a pile of leaves and sticks, my head bent at an awkward angle. My limbs felt stiff and awkward, like someone had injected cement into my veins and it had hardened when I slept.
Just as my eyes began to peep open, I heard the voices of my captors.
"How could you let it come to this?" One of them shouted. I saw this figure pace by a circle of large rocks.
"I didn't realise she was going to do that! How could I have known?" Lucius shouted back, waving his arms about his head like the air dancer balloons outside car dealerships.
"You could have... I don't know! You just should have realised! What would the King say if we showed up with damaged goods?"
I was tired, confused, and wished I had succeeded in my mission of death. More than ever, I wished time would pass quickly and they would kill me before I could suffer.
They snapped their heads to my direction, halting their argument.
"If you are going to rape me, or kill me, just do it now."
The man whose name I had yet to learn approached me slowly, cautiously. Leaning down to where I lay, he reached out to help me up. I flinched away from him, realising I was in fact no ready, nor would I ever be. His gaze softened and he pulled back, his dark curls falling over his eyes.
"We are not going to rape or kill you. If you are willing, I will explain to you where we are going, and why you are here. But, you can never try something like last night again, okay?"
I nodded groggily and pulled myself into a sitting position, momentarily dizzy. I hadn't realised I was holding my breath until I released the sigh built in my chest. I was relieved.
"Oh come on, Alvar! We don't have time for this!" Lucius shouted, tugging at his long hair. In the sunlight, I realised just how magnificent these two men were. It was as if something divine had indeed gifted them with beauty unknown to mortals. They were unbelievably tall with perfect skin and their slender faces were sharp, pointed.
They bickered back and forth as my eyes adjusted to the brightness. We were well into the forest. The sun shone through the gaps in the trees, piecing through to highlight sections of the undergrowth. Bright flowers curled off the bushes, blooming beautiful pinks and greens, littering the trees with speckles of colour. The trees spat leaves onto the glistening dew on the sunburnt grass. They fell from the canopy like singular flames, dancing in the slight breeze.
"Lyra?" The dark eyed man called. Alvar... what a curious name. I gazed back at him, breaking my sight from the trees, and decided the name suited his dark and mysterious appearance. "That is your name, isn't it? Lyra?"
"Yes." I curled my tongue in my mouth and clutched my necklace.
"We will not rape or kill you. That is not our purpose. Do you understand?" His voice was stern, but no less encapsulating than before. It was almost as if he was singing to me, his words like honey on my tongue, his voice like a soothing lullaby.
I let my gaze fall from his, staring at my hands. I didn't know if I believed him, what else would they want me for?
"I need you to listen carefully to what I am about to say." His voice lowered, softening, as he sat back onto the ground. "We have taken you under direct orders from our superior. We require your service for anywhere between two days to two weeks, as long as you stay in line and please the big guy."
"Please him?" I chocked out, all wonders of catastrophes filling my mind.
"No, no, no." He rushed, reaching forwards to stroke my arm. "Not like that."
I was hyperventilating now, my body trembling under the weight of mental pressure.
"Look, just think of it like a... a singing job." He said hesitantly, eyebrows raising uncertainty under his hair.
"A singing job?" I replied, my voice flat. Who was this guy kidding?
"Yes." He sighed and scratched the back of his neck, his cape swinging backwards with the motion. "We require your service as a performer for a large celebration."
"You're kidding right?" I began to laugh, a wretched and gurgled thing that erupted from my throat like hot lava, spewing out across the forest. Lucius stopped pacing to stare at me with a look of exhaustion and boredom.
"Alvar? Glamour her." Lucius' voice was stern, but that didn't stop the fit of giggles that continued to rumble in my belly.
"You know I don't like doing that to the guests, Lucius." Alvar snapped back, reaching into something in his back pocket.
"Yeah, well she's clearly a nutcase! And an exception!"
"Then maybe you shouldn't have glamoured a dead cat as her first impression of us!" Alvar nearly screamed, his eyebrows furrowing as he pinched whatever was in his pocket between his fingers.
With one sweeping motion, the dust was thrown into my smiling face. The giggles died and suddenly I felt calm, strangely calm. It was if I was given a shot of morphine and a dose of trust. I believed I was safe with Alvar; I knew I could trust him.
"Come on." Alvar's voice was as soft as velvet, coaxing me to stand and continue onwards.
It was only then that I realised my feet were completely healed, and wrapped in large green leaves. My hand reached up to my neck only to find it also to be completely healed, pain free, covered in green slosh.
"How?" My brows furrowed, pulled down by the hook of confusion, "I-I don't understand."
"Everything will be explained in time." Alvar stepped away from me, leaving me open to the scrutiny of Lucius, who stared at me in disgust reserved only for the lowest of creatures.
"I want you to explain now!" I snapped, ripping the leaves off my neck and pointing a dirty finger at my neck.
Alvar only raised an eyebrow, as if impressed by my outburst and began walking towards the thick of the trees. Lucius snickered and flicked a rock in my direction before following the curly haired man. I swatted it away and considered making a run for it, both men disappearing into the trees in front of me. I could have run home, warned my family and gone straight to the police. But as my neck craned in the direction we came from, I realised why they were not concerned with my attempt for an escape; I didn't know my way home. We had been travelling for miles through the night, deep into the national park, and it was only with the guidance of the men that I had not strayed from the path and fallen off a cliff or down a mountain.
I scrambled over the large rocks to keep up with the men, not wanting to wander the strange and dangerous place alone. I had heard of wolves living in these parts, as well as bears and large snakes, and many disappeared into the park each year whilst hiking. Some bodies were never found. Those that were found were badly mauled; sometimes only pieces of them were left like a pinkie or a section of the scalp.
When I finally caught up to Alvar, a small smirk was tugging the corner of his lips. He was satisfied I had followed them, even if he knew I had no choice in the matter.
"Herbs. That's what healed your wounds." Alvar said, brushing aside a long branch as we began to descend down the mountain.
"Herbs?" My voice deadpanned, I rolled my eyes and grumbled angrily. I was in no mood to play games. All I wanted was the truth.
"Yes, a mix of medicinal herbs that your kind has yet to discover. Actually, they probably never will."
"My kind?" I narrowed my eyes, my hand cautiously lifting to my neck. I was no longer curious about what had healed me. If whatever mix they had put upon me was unknown to doctors, I could not trust it was safe.
"Yes. You know, humans?" Lucius sneered, cutting through the undergrowth with a large knife. Actually, it looked more like a sword. "We are aware of your parents research. Quite interesting, what they have to say about our kind."
If there were water in my mouth, I would have spat it out. Hell, if there were food in my stomach, I would probably through up.
"You're aliens?" I exclaimed, my voice escaping in a high-pitched squeal. I scared myself by feeling a strange excitement in the pit of my belly as butterflies fluttered angrily against my ribcage.
"Not quite." Alvar laughed and drew his own sword from his belt, cutting through the growth that curled over the path. "We are from the first plane, not space. It was our kinds who were the first to emerge on earth. Some call us the fae."
With the weight of the revelation crashing down upon me, I stood physically strong whilst my beliefs crumbled beneath me. They had no reason to lie; I had already come to accept it was not a badly pulled high school prank. Their truth meant that my parents weren't crazy; that these creatures they called 'aliens' who abducted children in exchange for changelings and who lurked in the darkest places of our planet waiting for a chance to cause mayhem existed. It meant that their theories on advanced medicine and near magical abilities to manipulate the atmosphere and plane existed. The ointment on my neck, which miraculously healed my fatal wound, and their ability to disappear from sight in the middle of my performance all made scene. Perhaps the only thing my parents had incorrectly assumed was the name of these creatures and their definitive origin.
And that meant that maybe they were right about Lucas. He wasn't involved in a drug deal gone wrong, or gang violence. His body wasn't found because it had been dumped in the ocean. He wasn't found because he hadn't died. He was abducted by the same people who had taken me from my home, perhaps even in the same way.
Nothing had ever felt more accurate, more right, than my sudden revelation. So the words came as no surprise as I stopped in my tracks and clenched my fists so tightly that blood seeped from my nails.
"Where are you keeping Lucas?"
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