The brisk of dawn shines elegantly through my room's window, its like it was staring at me while smiling, saying "Don't give up." its warm fuzzy heat embraces me, all I can do is wake up early to view its morning call and foot steps came knocking through my door.
"Hello Kate, how are you feeling?" a voice came through space of the opening door, a voice that I really love since I was a baby.
"Good morning Mother." I replied with my soft and fragile voice.
Mother puts down her basket of fruits near my bed of sadness, yes, I can't seem to find happiness in this bed, a cord pulling me down as if its telling me that I can't live without it, a comfy bed that have been used by the past, a past where beating of a heart can't seem to reach the living.
"How is your morning, dear?" Mom said while peeling a beautiful apple.
"That apple, I like how reddish it is."
"Hmm? What about it?"
"I like it, its like it has accomplished all its dreams, sprouting through its mother's branch, arriving to all different places and having its final place here in my room." I said as I sigh looking through my window.
"Final place huh..." She replied with a sad face after peeling the apple.
"Did James visited you again?" She warmly grins.
"Yeah, he did."
"You're not happy about it?" Mom asking curiously.
"I don't like it, I already said we should break up many times when I started living here in this sad room."
A dull colored room, the curtain is gray, the chair is black, the shelf is gray and all is black, staying here causes unhappiness to every smile I wanted to make, devoid of light and no life yet James still holds on, showing that I can overcome this unbearable hurdle.
"Hmm... your relationship with him is going to be five years starting tomorrow right?"
"I don't care about that."
"Are you sure about that? Well--" She was about to tell me something but then a soft knock came through the front steps of my door.
"Good morning Kate, Good Morning Mrs. Clarity." Cloaked in a pure white uniform, my doctor greeted us calmly entering the room.
"Its time for your check up." He smiled as if this was nothing, yeah I'm just a nothing that can be thrown away when I'm not needed.
"I'll be going then Kate, I can't be late any longer" Mom kissed me, wishing this is not her last farewell to me, and then the check up is done, and the usual boring day starts again, even the shows on the television is all uninteresting, I just want the day end , I can't wait for the dawn's embrace again, the sun seems also living its life, showering all of the living its passionate hug of heat but how about those who under the soil, no soul, no smile and no color? Sooner or later, will I become one of them?
As I stare through the window, the door opens again, I don't know why but its like its dawn already, shines elegantly again but directly through me
"Hello baby ♥" The guy who keeps holding on to my life came in, smiling at me as if he is the warm fuzzy feeling embracing me again behind him is something I like, not its not a white horse, not its a bouquet, its just a simple balloon.
"Why are you here?" I need a reason, I keep telling him to leave me so why?
"Why? Because I love you Kate ♥" He smiles again as he puts down a loaf of bread beside me and ties the string of the beautiful balloon to a pole of my bed, he then grabs a bread, eating it and sitting beside me.
"Want one?" He smiles again as he ask me.
"No."
"Hmm... are you sure?"
"I said NO." Irritated and disturbed, I unexpectedly raised my voice.
Silence ended our conversation, as if it was meant to happen but he then simultaneously smiles as the sunset strikes I don't like sunset but I don't hate it too, seeing the sun going to a far away place is causing distress to my eyes.
"What if you're gonna die, what will you do?" I don't know, it suddenly came out through my mouth, as if I want to know what he will do.
I look at him, the way he thinks for an answer is attractive, why? He was smiling.
"You know..." He breathe those words voicelessly.
"If die, I want to be reborn three times" He smiled again and looks at me.
"What? Reborn three times? You're weird" For some unknown reason, I giggled.
"Hey, don't laugh!" He blushes.
"Why?"
"Well, having three dreams is really tough, its like you can just choose one, I may have three different names, I may live in three different countries, I may have three different families, I may have three different kinds of friends but..."
"But what?"
It was cute, three different lives, maybe in those two lives, I may not have this disease, I may have a very healthy body
"One thing is for sure..."
"One thing?"
"In those three lives, no matter what happen, I'm very very sure!"
"What are you sure of?"
"That I'll fall in love to the same person three times, and that person is you. ♥"
I can't breath.
Pain pierce my chest, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
Is this sadness? maybe it is and then my heart realized this.
I don't want to leave this person.
I don't, I don't, I DON'T.
Is this happiness? IT IS.
"Y'know you should smile more." James whispers to my ears.
"W-WHAT!" Flustered and I can't think straight.
"You like balloons, right?"
"Y-Yes, what is it to you?"
"I'll bring more tomorrow, lots and lots of it! ♥" He jumps with his arms wide.
Seeing him today is different, he seems to be full of energy.
"No, it'll just burden these room, it'll just lose gas and sink to the ground."
We lose track of time, it was already midnight, James left kissing me goodbye and left the room with a smile and as I was about to close my eyes, something shines elegantly through my room it is the dawn?every corner of my room seem all colorful.
There's blue, green, yellow and a brown, purple and the red balloon, my room seems all warm and majestic, and it all started when James visited me, it started when the sun sets, it started when the balloon tied beside me swayed as if it as dancing to entertain me.
For the first time, I close my eyes with a smile :)
The next day came and the brisk of dawn shines elegantly through my room's window, its like it was staring at me while smiling, saying "Don't give up." its warm fuzzy heat embraces me, all I can do is wake up early to view its morning call
It's weird, no one visited me this morning.
I don't have nothing else to do, so I look around, the fruits mom gave me around stand still, smiling at me, the chair is also smiling at me, all the thing around me is smiling at me and the sun started to say it goodbye, its sun set already
As I watch glow from setting Sun, a balloon came up floating and another one and another one
I didn't think what's the cause of it, I just stare at them, appreciating their dance as they float to the sky.
Wait. Something caught my attention.
K?
One of the balloon has a letter K written to it, and its a red one.
A? There's another one, another red balloon, floating one after the another.
T
E
My name? Its is my name.
For some reason my heart started beating fast, my face is getting all reddish like the apple, I don't know why so I kept on looking for the red balloons.
W
I
L
L
.
Y
O
U
.
M
A
R
R
Y
.
M
E
?
♥
( ... )
I was released from the hospital, I'm cured, I'm healthy.
And now I'm here in front an altar, wearing a white beautiful dress.
In front of me is the man who saved me, the man who gave me those sunset balloons, James.
And we exchange promises: I DO ♥