"Babe, I thought you already filed a divorce paper to your wife?" The short girl asked, seductively playing with the blonde's collar.
They were in the shorter girl's apartment, sitting on the couch and playing some random movie on the telly but not really paying much attention to it as they were too caught up flirting with each other. Ally Brooke was sat on Perrie Edwards' lap while constantly leaning in to peck her lips, sometimes grinding herself down against the taller girl's crotch.
"Ally, we already discussed about this. I'm still finding the right time to do it. You know how emotional she gets over little things and I'm pretty sure it will be hard for her." Perrie said, placing her hand on the girl's thigh, caressing it in a not so loving manner.
Ally rolled her eyes. "But that's the point. Don't tell me you still love that little shit?"
Perrie stopped her movements and leaned in towards the smaller girl, biting her earlobe seductively. "...you know I already fancy you... a lot. And I'm going to be with you in just a click of time, don't worry."
Well to make the story short, Perrie is married to Jade Thirlwall, they have a kid and were happily living together until it got to the point where Perrie realized their relationship isn't working anymore. The brunnette would sometimes give her a cold shoulder and would ignore her the whole day without reasons. She would sometimes refuse having an intimate moment with Perrie and that's what irritates the blonde the most.
And then it has gotten to the point where Perrie would always come home late or worse, she wouldn't come home at all. And to make things worst, when she really was bored of the relationship, she decided to cheat, to a girl who satisfies her needs. And that's when she realized she was falling out of love on her wife but decided not to tell her about it, just giving her false hopes and giving her cold shoulder here and there just like what she's doing to her. I know it's too cruel, but I can't stop myself. I'm also hurting.
"You better hurry, I can't wait for us to fuck anytime we want without sneaking around." Ally said, winking at the taller girl.
Perrie could only groan at that. The thought of fucking the short girl makes her horny. And nothing could stop the Perrie Edwards.
She smirked devilishly and pushed the girl on the couch so she was hovering above her, much to her surprise.
"Im going to fuck you in this couch... hard. I want you to feel me for days."
Ally smirked. "Do it."
*****
*Edwards' Residence*
After the little fun she had with Ally, Perrie came home at around 9 in the evening that day, surprisingly. She hung her coat on the coat rack and took off her shoes, sighing after successfully doing it. The earlier activities with Ally exhausted her so much so she quickly went to the kitchen to grab some water, where she found Jade washing the dishes, not noticing her presence.
"Jade," Perrie said, grabbing the smaller girl's attention.
Jade turned to face her wife who was already sitting on the chair holding a glass of water. The brunnette gave her a small smile and turned her back on her once more.
"I thought you wouldn't come home. Lily couldn't stop asking me about you. Do you want some tea?" The brunnette asked, showing no emotions, though her insides are breaking apart, drying her hands with a towel after finishing the last dish. She went towards her wife and leaned in to peck her lips but ended up kissing her left cheek as the ivory skinned girl turned her head to the side.
"We need to talk," Perrie said bluntly, not once glancing at Jade, which the girl desperately needed.
Jade heaved a sigh she didn't know she was holding in, and sat on the opposite side of the table so they were face to face. She knew already what is about to happen.
"I want a divorce. I already love someone else, I'm sorry." Perrie said carelessly like it was the easiest thing to do, just by looking at her emotionless face.
Jade smiled. But Perrie knew it was fake.
"I've been waiting for you to say that. Thanks for making it easier for me. And yeah of course, I'll give you what you want." The brunnette said, still smiling.
Perrie took notice of her shaking voice and how her eyes water but didn't give much attention to it as she was really desperate to be with Ally. She was also surprised at how the petite girl took the offer easily, as if she really was hoping for it to happen, and it somehow broke the blonde's heart knowing Jade doesn't really care anymore. Well, it's okay. I have Ally. She's so much better.
Jade played with the wedding ring on her finger, avoiding any contact with her wife.
"But it will be hard for our daughter. You know, she's still young and doesn't need to be involved in a situation like this. I want the best for her, so can
I ask one more favor before you l-leave m-me?" Jade stuttered, holding back her emotions.
Perrie's eyes softened a bit but didn't change her demeanor, nor comfort her wife. She just sit still, inspecting her phone for any messages from Ally.
Jade took a deep breath, her voice shaking. "Let's wait for a month. I want to prepare her. And during this whole month, I want you to carry me in your arms out of the bedroom everyday. Is that okay with you?"
The blonde nodded, not looking up from her phone, smiling when a message popped into her screen.
*Ally ❤💋: Hey baby, come again tomorrow? Still have some whip cream left ;)
Perrie chuckled and replied a quick message then turned off her phone, getting up, but not before turning around and looking at the brunnette in the eyes, finally.
"Well, that's fine with me. Only for our daughter though. You know I don't love you anymore..." she paused for a minute before continuing. "I'm sick of you acting like we're strangers and leave me hanging on. I'm sick of you and I just want to end this little game. I want to be happy."
And with that, she stormed off the kitchen leaving a heart broken Jade.
***
*Day 1*
The next morning, Jade was the first one to wake up as per usual. She rolled over to the other side of the bed, (the spot next to her is empty because Perrie always sleeps on the floor with a mattress) yawned, and snuggles closer to her pillow. She scooted a little bit closer at the edge of the bed and looked down, smiling when she saw the position her wife was in. Perrie was laid on her stomach, her face was turned so it faces the brunnette's side.
She missed her love so much. The past few months had been full of drama with them not acknowledging each other's presence. Though it had something to do with the brunnette's plan, Perrie took it in a wrong way.
Jade giggled, reaching down to trace her fingers on her love's face, knowing she wouldn't wake up. She caress her cheek in a loving manner, smiling when she heard Perrie mumbling in her sleep and leaning into her hand.
The moment was interrupted with a light buzz coming from the phone on the night stand. The petite girl pulled her hand away to grab the phone... Perrie's phone.
"Ally." Jade read out. She cogitated on whether to open the message or just put the phone down.
After a few minutes, she finally opened the taller girl's phone, surprised to see it unlocked.
Ally ❤💋:
Mornin' baby! I know you're still not up yet but I just want you to know that I'm okay with the deal. Though I'm still pissed with that bitch for that favor. I love you 😘😘😘
Jade sighed at the message, her eyes watered with the amount of emotions building up inside her. She hadn't noticed the pair of blue eyes scanning her every movement.
Perrie scoffed. "Why would you read that message and then cry like a baby? Tsk." The blonde huffed.
Jade smiled sadly at her. "I would take the risk just to know if you're really happy, even if it hurts me."
The blonde didn't answer nor looked at her wife. She stood up and grabbed the phone from the small girl's hand and tossed it on the bedside table.
Perrie walked over to the edge of the bed and put her arm on her wife's back and the other under her knees to carry her bridal style.
Jade blushed, bashfully wrapping her arms around the taller girl's neck and relishing to the warmth that radiates through the blonde's body.
"This sucks. I wish I could make the time faster."
The brown eyed girl didn't say a word. She just tightened her grip around the blonde's neck while Perrie walk them downstairs. She tried to catch the girl's eyes but Perrie doesn't have any plans on looking at her or even smile at her. She has this serious and intimidating face that the brunnette wouldn't dare to talk to.
"Mommies!" The couple looked around and saw their daughter running out from the upstairs and into their direction.
Perrie smiled for the first time upon seeing their daughter. God did she miss her baby girl so much. The little girl had the same hair and skin color just like Perrie's but got the facial features from Jade. Though her obsession with food and sleep were from the taller girl, obviously.
The drama had been so serious that she practically forgot about having a daughter with Jade because she's desperate to forget her life with Jade in it. Selfish it is but she doesn't care.
She put the petite girl on the couch in a not so gentle manner, (Jade grimacing at the pain from the impact of her body colliding with the couch), and hastily sped up to meet her daughter who was running into their direction.
"Hey baby girl. How's my princess, huh? I missed you." Perrie said, smiling, once she'd reached Lily and spun her around.
The 5-year old kid giggled. "I miss you too and I'm fine mommy! I am very happy!" She exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands together.
Perrie tilted her head to the side in confusion. "And why is that?" She asked, playfully, pecking her daughter's temple.
"You carried mommy Jade and it was soooooo sweet!"
The blonde awkwardly scratched the back of her neck and looked towards the direction of Jade who was also feeling awkward at the situation. The brunnette sat uncomfortably, nervously playing with her fingers.
"Uhh. Yeah... Well, I've got to go to work baby. You'll take care of yourself okay?"
The little girl frowned. "But it's Sunday! You don't have work today. Let's watch movies with mummy Jade, and cuddle. Please mommy?" Lily pleaded, jutting out her bottom lip.
Perrie sighed, slightly annoyed with her daughter but not showing it, afraid that she might upset her. "We haven't even eaten breakfast yet, sweetheart."
"We can eat after the movie."
"I'm sorry baby, I've got to go to Aunt Leigh Leigh."
"But you're not here always!"
"Ugh! Just shut up! I said no, Lillian!" The older blonde snapped to which Lily had instantly teared up.
Jade rushed to her daughter's side and gently rubbed her back while whispering calming words to her ear. She picked up the kid and brought her to the couch.
"If you're angry, please blame it on me. She has nothing to do with the whole situation and she doesn't need to be treated like this. You can hurt me but not her." Jade said softly, looking at the younger Geordie who's eyes softened at the sight of her baby girl crying.
She pushed the petite girl away and rushed to her daughter's side. Jade lowered her head because she was hurt, and the blonde clearly doesn't care. I'm also hurting, baby.
"Mommy's sorry baby girl. I was just stressed out lately and I didn't mean to shout at you. Forgive me?" Perrie asked sweetly, purposely pouting so she could catch the younger girl's attention.
Lily giggled, patting her hands on her mom's cheeks repeatedly, rubbing their noses together affectionately. Jade smiled at the sight.
"Lily forgives mommy. But will you watch Aladdin with me and mummy Jade? Please?" The little girl pleaded, tugging on her mom's shirt.
Perrie sighed in resignation, "Of course, love. Anything for my baby."
"Yay! Did you hear that mummy?!" The small girl exclaimed, tugging at Jade's hand to bring her down on the couch, excitedly. Perrie sat at the other end of the sofa so Lily was in between of them.
"I'm so happy for you baby." Jade said, smiling, pecking her daughter's head while looking at Perrie who has the same smile on her face while looking at the small kid, but her expression quickly changed when her eyes met the brunnette's.
Jade sighed, picking up the remote and switching the telly into Disney Channel and searched for the movie Aladdin.
Halfway through the movie, Lillian stood up and went towards Perrie's left side. She pushed the blonde to make room for herself and in purpose of bringing the blonde closer towards Jade.
Perrie pecked her daughter's head lovingly, still preventing herself to touch any part of the brunnette's skin and purposely inching a little away from her as if she has some kind of disease, but that didn't stop Jade from leaning in towards her wife's ear and whispered a soft 'thank you'. Perrie nodded, wrapping an arm around her daughter's body and snuggling closer to her as if Jade wasn't a part of the family.
A tear left the petite girl's eye but got unnoticed by her two loves as they were too focused on the movie.
***
*Day 11 (Time skipped coz I'm cool 😎)*
It has gotten to the eleventh day of their agreement and somehow, the blonde had managed to ease up towards Jade, but still not appreciating her whole existence, still treating her like she was nothing and just walks past her. And in these days, she has nothing against carrying her wife everyday in exchange of the divorce paper that she is itching to have.
She was surprised when she woke up early in the morning that day, well because she woke up first before Jade could so it's tolerable. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, deciding not to shower as she had already showered last night, changed into her working attire and swiftly went out of the bathroom to see Jade still sleeping.
She went downstairs to prepare a breakfast for Jade and for her baby girl. Once she was done, she went upstairs again and opened her daughter's room first. She smiled at the sight of the little girl cuddling to her princess Jasmine pillow. Just like Jade. She shook her head at the thought.
"Hey Princess. Time to wake up baby." She said sweetly, lightly shaking the girl's shoulder.
The smaller blonde stirred a bit, unconsciously lifting her hands up to reach for her mom's. Perrie chuckled and lift her daughter up, cuddling her to her chest.
"Wakey, wakey, little Lily."
Lily giggled and opened her eyes, now completely awake. She smiled at her mother and kissed her cheek.
"Good morning, mommy. I love you."
"Same baby. And mommy loves you too baby girl... so so much." Perrie said, pecking her little girl's head and set her down on the floor, allowing her to run downstairs.
She got up from the bed and went to her and Jade's room, only to notice that Jade had been gone. The opening of the door from the bathroom had broken her out of her trance and sighed when she saw the brunnette walking out of it with a sleepy and tired smile on her face.
She was about to carry the girl but a light buzz on her pocket prevented her from doing so.
*Ally ❤💋 calling*
"Hey baby... Yeah, I miss you too babe. I have to do my daily routine with her- I know, let's just wait okay? Only a few more days baby, then I'm all yours... No, don't be mad, baby. I love you."
Perrie sighed and subconsciously ran her fingers through her hair. Ally wanted to end the deal as soon as possible, but Perrie somehow wishes for it not to happen. She doesn't know why.
Jade just stood there, a small smile was plastered on her face and walked over towards the blonde. What she'd heard left a permanent wound in her heart that no one else can fix. Only Perrie.
Perrie eyed her. The brunnette was wearing a baggy shirt and a sweatpants, hiding her entire body.
"You okay?" The older Geordie asked, reluctantly touching the blonde's arm to assure her that she's there for her, but her smile faltered when Perrie pulled her arm away.
"Everything's okay." Perrie answered rather softly.
No it's not. Jade thought. Her smile instantly reappearing when the younger Geordie lifted her up. She wrapped her arms around her neck as usual, enjoying her love's warmth. And for the first time in how many months, Perrie smiled at her, even though it was just a small one, still she smiled. Jade blushed even harder, hiding her face in her love's neck, mentally thanking when Perrie didn't flinch from the affection.
The blonde led them downstairs (Jade still not over the fact that Perrie smiled at her), and into the kitchen where she saw their baby girl devouring her breakfast. She set the petite girl on the chair. Jade greeted her daughter and kissed her forehead. The same thing for Perrie.
"Hey baby. Enjoying your breakfast?"
The girl nodded happily, her mouth full and cannot speak anymore. The couple laughed subconsciously at their daughter's antics. Jade blushed. She looked up and saw Perrie trying to stifle her own smile.
"Mommy has to go baby. Behave, okay? I love you Princess." The ivory skinned girl said once she'd checked the time, pecking the child's head and smiling, ready to leave if it wasn't for the tiny hand that grabbed hers.
"Won't you kiss mummy Jade too?" Lily asked innocently, trying to push her mother towards the brunnette. Jade's eyes widened, quickly shaking her head disapprovingly towards her daughter. Not wanting to make it more awkward than it already was.
"Lily, your mom has to g-'
Jade was interrupted by a soft peck being placed on her head and a small 'Goodbye'. And with that, Perrie was completely out of the kitchen and had disappeared from their sight.
The brunnette unconsciously bit her lower lip that it would have drawn blood due to her hard biting. Her cheeks were darker than their natural colors, and a permanent smile was plastered on her lips.
Lily smirked playfully as if she already know about people's feelings. She giggled when she saw her mother looking at the white painted wall in front of her, smiling like an idiot.
***
*Day 21* (skip again. 😋)
Time flies so fast that the blonde hadn't notice that she only have 9 days left until the due of their agreement. She's having a second thought. After she'd kissed the brunnette's head again that day, she felt happy. She felt contented. She felt as if Jade is there and is ready to love her and truly care for her. She felt as if she should be back and embrace the girl in her arms forever. And would never let her go again.
She had taken a day off and planned to have a little bonding with her family. Last night was wonderful. She had slept peacefully beside the smaller girl on the bed, though they're not touching, still it made her insides fuzzy with the feeling that only Jade could give. It made her happy for the first time after a few months of not having the brunnette close to her.
She turned to her side and examined the petite girl's features. From the tantalizing brown eyes that hides behind those long lashes that she loves so much, to her nose that she loves to kiss back then and would crack a smile when the small girl would scrunch it up adorably, those cheekbones that are to die for, and finally, those soft, plump lips that she craves to kiss every now and then. She brought her hand up and touched the smaller girl's face, gently caressing her cheek with the back of her hand in a loving manner, then slowly going down until her thumb had stopped where her lips wishes it to be. Jade's lips.
She started to lean in, wanting nothing more than to trap those lips against hers to show her how much she'd missed her. But she quickly dropped the idea. She knew Jade wouldn't like it. Jade doesn't love her anymore. And what about Ally? She knew the moment she would press her lips against the brunnette's, she would surely change her mind.
The blonde sighed and laid on her back, thinking.
What if I'm not really in love with Ally and she was just a distraction?
What if we haven't met?
What if me and Jade are still together?
What if I still love her?
What if I didn't even stop loving her?
"Damn, idiot. You still love Jade. Admit it." She whispered under her breath. Thankfully, Jade didn't wake up from her little rambling.
Ally is fierce and always asks for sex, while Jade is very sweet and caring.
Ally is stubborn. Whereas Jade is forgiving.
They're both gorgeous, but Ally is not half as gorgeous as Jade. (I love Ally with all my heart so don't kill me. Just for the sake of this story though ✌)
Ally gives a good fuck. But Jade gives an everlasting love.
Jade is just Jade. She's my wife. She's my world. She's the love of my life. I can't live without her. I can't see my future without her. I can't love myself if it wasn't for her. Fuck! I'm still in love with Jade Thirlwall.
She was broken out of her trance when her phone started ringing.
She answered the call without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?" She said softly.
"Hey sweetheart! How's the divorce paper going?"
Perrie frowned.
"Ally... I told you to w-"
"Ugh! I don't want to wait anymore! I need you Perrie."
"Ally, please... just give me time to think okay?"
"Oh, so you're already doubting?!"
The Geordie's eyes turned into slits, she didn't like the girl's tone. But the frown instantly left her face when she felt her wife shifting from her position, slightly fluttering her eyes open, yawning, and finally, brown met blue. So adorable.
"Ally, please stop. I'll talk to you later. Jade's up."
Before the girl could even answer, Perrie pressed the end button and sighed. This was it. This isn't right anymore. She's dying to have the brunnette in her arms again. And she's going to do that. Now.
She was about to turn around to face the small girl when Jade bolted out of the bed and into the bathroom.
Perrie worriedly followed her wife and held up her hair behind her as she throws up in the sink. She patted her back lovingly and started whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Once Jade was done, she brushed her teeth and cleaned her mouth before leaning back completely against the blonde. She sighed happily when Perrie wrapped her arms around her waist from behind, nuzzling her hair and still whispering in her ear to calm her down. She smiled when she felt her favorite pair of lips started to trail kisses on her shoulder, up to her neck, and finally, to her left cheek.
"You look sick. You have to rest, Jay."
'Jay' The brunnette thought. It had been months since Perrie had called her by that nickname. Jade smiled weakly.
"Im fine, Pez." She assured the taller girl, but her body movements differ from what she'd said.
The younger Geordie shook her head, tightening her hold onto her wife's body in an utmost care as if she was some kind of a crystal that easily breaks if she wouldn't take care of her.
"No you're not. I'm going to lay you down and go downstairs to make breakfast for you, baby." Jade blushed at the endearment, her smile even widening when Perrie lifted her up and walked them back in their bed and gently placed her girl down. She kissed her forehead and hastily went out of the room to prepare the said meal to her wife.
Jade smiled. I love you so much, Perrie Edwards.
A few minutes later, the blonde was back holding a tray of food in her hand, Jade giggled when she saw her wife's mouth holding a red rose in between her teeth.
"This is for you babe." Perrie said, handing the rose to Jade after she'd put the tray on the bedside table. Jade giggled while holding the rose, patting the space next to her and Perrie instantly snuggling closer to her wife.
"Where did you get this?" Jade asked, smile never leaving her face just by having the blonde beside her. Perrie ran her hand up and down her girl's thigh in a loving manner.
The taller girl bit her lip. "Ohh... I.. umm... b-bought it- aw! okay, okay. I picked it out of that old lady's front yard." She admitted when Jade playfully hit her arm.
She smiled at Jade. A genuine one. There were no doubts that she wants to be with her love again. Jade is her love. And she'll do anything for her. I'll apologize first.
"Jade?"
"Hmmm?"
"I'm sorry."
She took the tanned hands in her own, smiling at how perfect they fit together like puzzle. She leaned down, kissing the girl's hand and bringing it up to her cheeks.
"For what?" Jade asked softly, a tear had already left her eye at the blonde's affection. She caress her cheek lovingly, alternating between looking at the ivory skinned girl's eyes and lips.
"For breaking up with you. For breaking your heart. For breaking your faith on me. For breaking your trust. I shouldn't have done what I did, I know it was wrong but I couldn't stop myself. You were so distant the past few months and it drove me insane. I missed you baby." Perrie leans into the brunnette's hand, enjoying the soft and delicate fingers that traces every part of her face.
The petite girl giggled, pecking the taller girl's nose sweetly.
"I miss you too, Pez. You don't need to say sorry for wanting to be happy. It was my fault in the first place anyway and I blame myself for it."
Perrie shook her head. "No. Don't say that. I was being asshole. And I'll be more of it if I blew this chance away."
Jade smiled weakly, grabbed her hand and held it in her chest where it was close to her heart. "You'll never blow the chance, Perrie. Because there's no such thing as second chance. There's no need for us to be together again. I love you and I want you to be happy." The small girl said in between sniffs as she didn't realise she was already crying.
The blonde instantly wrapped her up in her embrace, rubbing her back soothingly to calm her down. "What do you mean, Jay? You're my happiness. I know I had been an ungrateful wife to you and I'm really sorry for that." Perrie said on the older girl's shoulder.
Jade pulled away from the comfortable embrace and faced her love, cupping both of her cheeks with her hands. "I love you, Pez. And I know I'm doing the right thing. Just trust me with this baby, okay?"
The blue eyed girl sighed and nodded reluctantly, her heart breaking into pieces. She turned her head to the side and kissed the girl's palm that's cupping her left cheek, affectionately.
"I'm so sorry." She mumbled under her breath.
Jade giggled, tears running down her eyes but got unnoticed by the oblivious Perrie as she was busy playing with the tanned girl's hands, pecking it several times. She quickly wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck, catching her by surprise, and instantly wiping her tear-stained cheeks.
"Carry me downstairs?" She whispered on the taller girl's ear. Her stomach's rambling with unexpected feeling when she heard her love's chuckle that made her heart melt. Even more when she felt a pair of her favorite lips kissing her forehead lovingly and deep blue eyes staring back at her big brown ones.
"At your service, my Queen." Perrie said playfully.
Jade chuckled and settled herself in her love's embrace as she carry her down the stairs. The earlier conversation with her wife left a big impact in her heart. Do I really have to do this? A tear once again left her eye as she tightened her grip on the blonde's neck, not wanting to let go.
I'm sorry, Pez.
***
*Day 27*
Perrie stared at her reflection in the mirror.
Not too bad yourself, Edwards.
She adjusted her shirt and ran her fingers through her blonde locks. She had planned a 3-day outing with her family to make it up for them. She had missed them so much and realized she couldn't go on a day without seeing them. She wouldn't dare to change her family over someone or over Ally. Especially not Jade.
She went out of the bathroom to see her love in front of the mirror wearing a loose shirt and a jeans. Simple, but beautiful.
She walked over to her wife and wrapped her arms around her waist from behind. Perrie frowned.
Weird. She thought, as she tightened her grip around her Jade.
The petite girl sighed, a sad expression on her face, and put her hands above Perrie's that were firmly placed on her stomach.
"I'm so thin." She commented, scanning her features in the mirror, and eventually, setting her gaze on the bright blue eyes that were staring back at her.
Perrie started peppering kisses along her neck and her shoulder.
"No, you're not. You're sexy in my eyes." The blonde said cheekily, stealing a kiss on her wife's cheek. Jade giggled, turned around and cupped the blonde's neck, sometimes caressing her well-defined jaw that had her mouth water every time she sets her eyes on it. Everything about Perrie impresses her so much.
"I love you," Jade said sincerely, staring into the ocean blue eyes. Perrie didn't answer, instead, pulled the small girl against her body even closer and kissed her forehead.
There were no words that could give justice on how the blonde was feeling. Jade makes her feel like an idiot, making her smile over something so small, yet, so big in her heart. Jade's love makes her feel like dirty dancing in the moonlight. That's what your love make me feel like, Jade.
"I.... I uhh...." Perrie didn't know what to say. She had made a promise yesterday with Niall, her best buddy.
(Flashback)
"Pez?" The irish boy said, while eating a chip Perrie had brought over at his house, a can of open beer in his other hand. The blonde girl came over to his house to ask for his help about the outing she was planning to make with her family.
Perrie hummed, still scrolling through her phone, grinning like a maniac while looking at her pictures with Jade and Lily.
"How long will you tell Jade that you're planning to cancel the divorce paper? You do think that you're giving her false hopes, right? You're hurting her. And eventually, Lily will be affected also. You said you still love her, so why not tell her now?"
The Geordie frowned, stopping her movements and heaved a sigh.
"I'm planning to say it on the 30th day, when the deal ends." She explained, sipping from her own beer.
Niall shook his head confusingly. "You could just do it now, why wait for another 4 days? You wouldn't know what could happen Perrie. The sooner, the better." The Irish boy said.
Perrie clasped her hands together, biting her bottom lip every now and then, anxiously.
"I don't want better, Niall. I want the best. I want to surprise her. And in that day, I will tell her that I love her so damn much and I'll end things up with Ally. Even if it's killing me to say the three words when I'm with her, I know I have to keep myself from doing it because I want it to be perfect. Words ain't good enough to explain how much I love her and that's why I asked you for help, mate. After the 30th day, I swear I'll never let her go again this time. I was an idiot enough to let her slip away from my fingertips but I'm not letting it happen again. I love her. I love her so fucking much and I'll do anything for her and Lily."
Niall smiled at the blonde, patting her back proudly earning a laugh from the Geordie.
"I know you'll be the best wife, Pez. Go get your girl."
Perrie could only laugh even harder at that.
(End of flashback)
She had snapped back from her thoughts when Jade spoke.
"You don't have to say it back because I know you don't feel the same way anymore. I know you're only doing this because of Lily so thank you, Pez. I know how much you wanted to be with Ally. Just a few more days, baby. Three more days and you're free."
Perrie frowned. Why would Jade think that she's not in love with her anymore? Yeah, just a few more days. A few more days til I'll be the happiest girl again. And no, I don't want Ally, I want you Jade. I love you.
"Well, let's just get going, yeah? Lily's waiting downstairs."
Before the brunnette could even answer, she was being lift up by a pair of strong arms just like everyday. She smiled and wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck. Once they've reached the bottom, they'd spotted the little girl on the couch, watching the telly while waiting for them.
"You can put me down now, Pez." The brunette whispered when she realised Perrie doesn't have the plan of putting her down, instead, the blonde tightened her grip around her and stared at her big doe eyes.
"No, I won't let you go this time." The blonde said and kissed the girl's forehead.
Jade blushed furiously, hiding her face in the crook of the taller girl's neck. Perrie walked them outside with Lily following behind, shutting and locking the door before opening the car for her mums. The geordies smiled at her, giving her a quick peck on the forehead before the blonde herself got inside the car once she was sure her family were settled completely.
It's going to be a long drive...
***
*Day 29*
It was the second day of the Edwards Family being in their 3-day vacation. Perrie got them into a beach where they could be alone with each other and nothing would interrupt them. And also, the blonde was quite excited as she's been looking forward for tomorrow where she would say everything to Jade... and to do her plan. She had laughed at herself upon remembering the times when she was hoping for that one month to end, but now, she was waiting for it to end because she was dying to be with Jade again. To love and to hold her, and never let go.
As of now, the couple were cuddled up in a large hammock tied between two large trees, keeping an eye to their daughter who was busy making her own sand castle near the shore. The two were waiting for the sunset and it was the best place to watch it and for them to enjoy some quality time together. And the less people in the place had helped the two in spending their time with each other.
"Jay?" Perrie spoke, catching the small girl's attention by the nickname.
Perrie's arm was firmly placed around her wife's waist, holding her close to her body, while the smaller girl placed her head on the blonde's shoulder, playing with the blonde's hand. It was that moment they wish would never end.
"Yeah?" Jade answered, holding the blonde's hand up to her lips, and placing a soft kiss on it making the taller girl smile at the affection.
"I.. uhh. I'm very happy today. I got to spend time with you and Lily."
Jade smiled at her, kissing her cheek. She was dying to place her lips against those heart-shaped but she was afraid of being rejected again. She's afraid to ruin the beautiful moment with Perrie. She wanted to savor this moment with the love of her life.
"Where did you just go?" Perrie snapped her out of her thoughts, chuckling to the small girl's oblivousness. Jade smacked her arm playfully.
"I was just thinking about something."
"... about what?"
"About us."
Perrie was silent for a minute.
"What about it?" She asked softly, brushing her lips on the tanned girl's cheek and giving it a gentle peck. Jade nearly teared up at the small gesture. It made her heart burst.
"What if you didn't fall out of love with me? What if you're still in love with me? What if I didn't fuck up everything? What if I wasn't an idiot to make you feel the way I made you to? What if we're-"
"Jade, look at me, baby look at me, please."
Perrie grasped the brunnette's hands on her own, ordering her to make an eye contact that the blonde badly needed. Her heart broke into millions of pieces when she saw tears starting to fill Jade's brown eyes.
"Stop saying those words again. I'm here. I can't promise you anything but I assure you that I'll be by your side as long as I live. Stop crying, baby."
The blonde wrapped her in a tight embrace, afraid that if she'll let go, the brunnette would slip away from her. No, she didn't want that to happen. She's not letting her go again.
Jade wrapped her arms around the taller girl's torso, burying her face in her chest while sobbing even harder. It was the blonde's soft voice that made her cry. How she said those words to her like she really cared for her. How she wrapped her arms around her making her feel safe and protected. How she whispers sweet nothings into her ear. It was this moment that Jade wanted to last forever. Being in her love's arms. Being in the safest place she's ever been into. She felt as if she was in heaven just by having her by her side.
"Tomorrow is our due. You'll gonna be with Ally, and I'm going on with my life without you. Perrie..." Jade didn't finish her words when a lump in her throat stopped her from speaking as she was about to cry again.
"No no no, stop crying baby. Breathe babe. Please, can you do it for me?"
Jade did as was told. With the help of her love's soft voice, she'd managed to calm down. "Listen, I may not be the best wife you could have but I'll be Perrie Edwards. The one that will wipe your tears away when they started falling. The one who will wrap her arms around you to make you feel safe and protected. The one who will kiss your forehead to assure you that everything's going to be alright. The one who will always be there for you. The one who will never let you go no matter what happens. Jade, I..."
"Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!"
Perrie sighed, she couldn't say it. Those three words that was at the end of her tongue, wanting to be told.
The two quickly wiped their tears away, looking over to the direction of their daughter who was fast approaching them.
"What's wrong baby?" The blonde asked, reaching out and lifting the little girl in her arms, spinning her around. Jade watched them in awe, her heart's bursting with so much happiness just seeing her wife and their daughter wearing big smiles on their faces. I'm going to be okay as long as they're happy.
Lily giggled."Let's watch sunset mummy. It's beautiful!" She exclaimed, laughing when her mum started tickling her sides gently.
"Of course we can, baby girl." Perrie smiled at their daughter who was nuzzling her neck, and, turn her gaze towards her wife who was looking at them with a smile.
Perrie wiggled her eyebrows, looking at her love playfully. "Now, now, Mrs. Edwards, can I take the honor of carrying you to the place where you've never been into?"
Jade laughed at her love's antics, slapping her arm weakly and trying her best to lift her arms up. Perrie put the little girl down and wrapped her arms around her wife and carried her towards the shore where their daughter had gone to, watching the sunset. Upon seeing her mums, she instantly latched onto the ivory skinned girl's shirt, smiling happily just by looking at both of her mummies.
"I love you mummy Jade and mommy Perrie." She said softly, wrapping her tiny arms around Jade's body that was still being held by Perrie.
The couple smiled. "We love you too, Lily. Now, and forever." Lily giggled.
A moment of silence...
"Pez?" Jade whispered so only the blonde could hear.
Perrie hummed, looking at the girl in her arms.
"I love you." Jade said with a sad smile, her eyes showing nothing but sorrow and pure adoration and love. It made the blonde's heart to clench tightly against her chest. It pained her to see her love like this.
When silence met her, Jade spoke once again. "I love you so much. We might not be meant to each other but I was made to love you. I love you."
Perrie didn't answer, instead, she kissed her wife on her forehead, hoping for Jade to get the meaning of it. The petite girl smiled and wriggled out of the blonde's arms to play with their daughter.
Perrie sighed, watching her two loves. "I love you too Jade, I love you so much." She whispered under her breath.
Love. Love can either make you or break you. In Jade's case, it was both.
***
*30th Day*
Perrie's POV
I woke up wearing a big smile on my face. I tightened my hold around my wife's body earning a content sigh from her. Last night was fun. I got to spend it with my family and I couldn't ask for more.
"I love you Jade." I whispered, afraid that she might hear me.
It was strange for me to wake up this early knowing it was just 6:30 but it's fine. I want to do this for my love. Just to make up for every bullshits that I did to hurt her. I love her so fucking much and I wouldn't change them for anything in this world.
I slowly untangled myself from her body, kissed her head, and went to the bathroom to do myself. Once I was done, I checked our baby's room and kissed her head as well, before going out of the house, bringing my keys with me.
"I've got two gorgeous girls in my life. Who's the lucky one? Yep. Me." I laughed at my own statement while starting the engine of my car.
Well I kind of found a small flower shop near the beach and thought of ordering one last night for Jade. All I have to do is do everything as planned.
"Meh I'm so nervous." I ran a hand through my hair as the other one was gripping the steering wheel, stopping the engine as I spotted the mini flower shop I've been saying.
I waited for a few minutes when I remembered something. I took my phone from my pocket and dialed a number.
"Hello baby, I've missed you! And guess what? Tomorrow, you're all mine."
I felt disgusted. Why did I met her again?
"I'm sorry Ally. But I can't do this anymore."
"W-what do you mean?"
I sighed. "It's over. We're over Ally. I still love Jade and I wouldn't change her for anyone... And oh, I want you to cut our connections forever. I'm sorry."
I heard shuffling noises from the line and a deep voice, groaning.
"Baby come back to sleep."
I smirked knowing she's clearly sleeping with someone.
"Perrie please don't do this to me!"
"Go tell that to your sleepmate. Oh well I honestly don't care. I've got my gorgeous wife, so, bye! Have a good day."
I hang up and smiled. Step one, check.
I got out of the car and grabbed my keys. Entering the small shop, I was met with a warm smile by the old woman who was currently wrapping a bunch of tulips.
"Good morning." I greeted her, smiling at the thought of buying flowers for my girl.
I feel so excited because after this, everything will be back into normal again. I'll have Jade in my arms and I'm not letting her go this time.
The old woman smiled at me and ushered me to sit on a chair which I gratefully did. "Good morning to you too darling girl. Can I do something for you?"
I flashed her a sweet smile and nodded. "I'd like to have a bouquet of red roses for my wife."
She walked around the counter and went in front of me, offering me a big smile. "Oh dear, that's lovely of you to do that. Trying to make her fall for you even more, eh?"
I chuckled at her response, nodding my head and blushing a deep shade of red.
"My name is Martha by the way."
"I'm Perrie."
The old woman smiled once more before picking a bunch of red roses and started wrapping them up. It was about ten minutes that she'd finished the job and making sure that she did it correctly, checking around the bouquet if something is missing.
"Oh, how could I forget... Dear, would you like to have a small card for you to write something on? Or...?"
I nodded quickly at the question, thinking of a small note to write on the card to start my speech. "That would be lovely, Martha."
She smiled at me and handed the flowers.
"Here you go, pet."
"Thank you so much." I took the bouquet of flowers from her and examined it. Perfect!
"Uh, Martha, can you write something on the card please? I would do it myself but I'm afraid I might ruin it 'cause my hands are shaking."
"Of course sweetheart. What would you like me to write?"
I think for a second and smiled when a thought strikes my mind.
"Can you write 'I'll carry you in my arms forever' "
Martha nodded and wrote what I've told her and handed me back the rose once she was finished. I gladly took it and paid for my charges. I gave her an extra tip and a big smile before I bid goodbye and went inside my car.
I placed the bouquet on the passenger's seat carefully before starting the engine and taking off with a lot of thoughts in mind.
When I told her about the divorce, I was so happy to know that she was fine with it too. I really, really liked Ally but it all changed when I took a hold of Jade on the first day of our deal. I thought about our wedding day with me carrying her in my arms to our wedding night. I felt happy. I felt relieved. I thought about how I felt towards Ally versus on how I felt about my Jadey. It was completely opposite. I just want to feel Ally's touch. Whereas I want- no, I need Jade's love. Fuck, I really love her.
I stopped the car once I arrived at our mini house. I took a deep breath. I reached down the pocket of my shirt to get the thing I want to give to my wife. I examined the red velvet box in my hand, opening it, and taking the diamond ring in my hand.
"I'm so inlove with you Jade." I say while smiling.
I put the box back into my pocket and reached out to pick the flowers I've got and went out of the car, not before locking the doors.
I opened the front door using my spare key with shaking hands. I'm going to be with Jade again. And I hope I wouldn't fuck everything up.
I went inside the house to be met by Lily running towards me... wait, crying? I put the bouquet of flowers on the couch and met her halfway, kissing her tears away.
"Baby, what happened? Stop crying princess, please. Tell momma what's happened." I rubbed her back, trying to calm her down but it doesn't help.
"M-mummy.... M-mammy Jade... s-she's....."
It was my turn to calm my own self down. My breathing got ragged, heart's beating rapidly in an abnormal speed.
"Shh... baby it's alright. Just stay here and I'll go look for your mummy okay? Everything's going to be alright baby. I love you." I gently placed her down on the sofa and kissed her forehead.
I grabbed the flowers and sprinted upstairs with speed and in just a second, I was standing next to our bedroom door. I reached my hand out to grip the doorknob, my hands are shaking. Breathing gets even heavier than before.
I slowly twisted the doorknob. I took a step inside, sighing in relief when I saw Jade lying on her back on the bed, I took noticed of how her position changed when I left her this morning. 9:32 AM.
I went to the side of the bed and sat back in my earlier position. I smiled at the sight in front of me. I pushed a strand of brown curls behind her ear and ran my fingers through her soft face.
I hate to do this but I have to wake her up.
I shook her gently on her shoulder. "Hey baby, wake up. I've got something for you." I grinned proudly, thinking of actually doing all my plans for her.
"Babe come on. I know it's too early but you have to wake up."
I frowned when she didn't stir a bit. Strange. She would usually groan or snuggle closer to me.
"Jade. I've got you something. You like surprises, right baby?"
"Hey don't be like that."
"Jade I'm not even joking. Seriously, wake up already!"
My tone started to get higher each word. I looked at her figure closely and I wished I didn't.
"Dammit Jade, don't hold your breath baby, you will hurt yourself. This isn't a good joke anymore."
I knew I was crying then. I told myself she's just fooling around but it's not what my mind is saying.
I shook her shoulders desperately, can't help it any longer as a bunch of tears started spilling out of my eyes.
"God dammit Jade, wake up! I'm not up for any jokes! Please baby wake up!" I cried, shaking her body in order to wake her up.
I kissed her lips, once, twice, thrice, several times, in case she's just fooling around but no.
I grabbed her body into mine and cried desperately. I can't... I can't look at her looking like this... I need her...
"Babe, I've got you flowers. You know, roses, that's your favorite right? I won't give it to you unless you wake up. And oh I've got biscuits too." I chuckled brokenheartedly while tears still ran down my cheeks, voice cracking...
Why does this need to happen?
I hugged her lifeless body as I sobbed.
"Jade please... wake up. Fuck, Jadey I still have a proposal to do. We're going to get married again baby. I'm going to make you the happiest girl. Just wake up please... We still have to go on that date. Jade, please? I still have to carry you..."
My body felt weak. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I broke into a loud cry, hugging every inch of Jade's body.
There's just one question running through my mind... why?!
A thing had caught my eyes and I instantly pick it up. It was a paper with her hand written on it. I started reading the note which made me cry even harder.
(A/N: Read every single word so you'll understand. 😏😉)
Dear Perrie,
First of all, I'm sorry for the bad writings, my hands are too tired to move but I want to at least write something for you before I leave.
Well, I remembered the day you told me you love me. I was the happiest girl in the world during that time. I couldn't get over the fact that the girl I love would return the feelings I had with her. I can still clearly remember all the hugs and kisses we shared under the blankets, whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears and would giggle like kids. I can still remember the times when we fight a lot even in just small things but would end up kissing the tears away and make up at the end of the day.
I want to remember all those moments with you. I want to bring them with me so I can still pretend that you love me. I remember the day you told me you wanted to be happy and I guess this is the right time for you to be. It's hard for me to leave you and Lily but I know you will do good.
I'm so sorry baby. I don't blame you for falling out of love with me because I know I had been so distant with you for the past few months. I did that on purpose. I want you to find another woman because I'm going to leave sooner or later. And I think this is the time.
I understand that you haven't noticed but I've been in the last stage of cancer for the past five months. Sorry to have made you carry me in your arms everyday but thanks for that. Our daughter won't see you as the bad guy. I'm not accusing you of anything because on the contrary, I was beyond happy all these days. You should be happy too. I love you so much Perrie. I have and will always love you. Please take care of yourself and our baby girl and tell her I love her with all my heart. And oh, I'll miss my two troublemakers so much. Don't get yourselves into troubles okay? Because I'm not going to be there anymore to save you twos from any of it.
Thanks for those 30 days I had with you. Those days were the best days of my life. Even just for a short span of time, I had managed to enjoy being with you so thank you so much baby. At first I was heartbroken, because I knew I was going to leave you anytime. I was so scared of death. But because of those thirty days with you, I had managed to live my life to its fullest being with the love of my life. And if me being gone would make you happy, then I want nothing more than being gone forever.
I love you so much Pez, and I'm looking forward to the day that we'll meet again afterlife. Don't you dare blame yourself for this and don't you ever cry, 'cause I wouldn't be there to wipe those tears away.
Well, this is goodbye then. Just smile and go on with your life without me. I'll be watching you from above. I'll protect you. I will love you forever. I'll miss you. I love you.
Love, Jade :)
I watched as my tears drenched the paper in my hands. I held it to my chest and cried unstoppable. Why?
I've got no words. I'm drained. I want to tell my self to wake up because this is just a horrible dream. This is just a fucking nightmare... but no, this is reality.
"I'm so... so so sorry baby."
***
"Babe?" The brunette asked as she laid on top of the blonde. Their naked bodies were tangled together under the blanket molding as one.
Perrie hummed in response, holding her wife closer to her as if anyone could take her away in a second.
"What if I'll die?" Jade asked, startling the taller girl. Perrie frowned, tightening her grip around the small girl's petite frame.
"Don't you ever ask something like that again." She stated firmly.
Jade sighed. "I just want to know."
Perrie frowned, clearly upset about the topic her wife brought up, but decided on answering. "I'd still love you even afterlife. Because nothing can make me stop loving you. Not even the death itself."
The brunnette smiled and leaned up to capture her wife's lips.
-
"Perrie?"
The blonde didn't answer. She carried on looking at her wife who was peacefully lying in a coffin. She had just made the grandest funeral for her late love, just for at least show her how much she loves her for the very last time.
"Pez, you should drop that rose on the coffin so we can pull it down." Niall said but got ignored.
He sighed, walking up behind her and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We have to let her go, Pez. And you have too. Jade wouldn't be happy if you keep on crying because of her. Knowing that small girl, she wants everyone to be happy. Everything happens for a reason and there is a reason behind all of these, you'll just have to find it. Let her go, but let her remain in your heart."
Again, Perrie didn't answer. Tears started running down her cheeks again upon hearing her friend's words, she clutched the white rose closer to her chest, not wanting to let it go, but she knew she have to.
She turned around to witness all the people who attended the brunnette's burial. Her family, Jade's family, their relatives, and their friends that were close to their hearts. She noticed that they were, too, crying.
She sighed and turned to look at Niall who was carrying little Lily in his arms, also drenched with tears.
"Could you please open it for the last time?"
Niall's eyes widened at her request, getting what she'd meant, and was about to refuse but upon seeing the girl's pleading eyes, he did. He opened the glass that separates Jade from being touched by Perrie and smiled when he saw the young blonde walking towards it. A single tear left the lad's eye. He always knew how deeply inlove Perrie is to Jade.
Perrie carefully touched the girl's face with her pale hand. She took notice on how peaceful her wife was. It brought tears in her eyes again knowing it would be the last time she'll be seeing her love. She traces patterns along the tanned skin and stopped at her hand. She grabbed it gently from its place and brought it to her face. Perrie placed a kiss on the back of her hand, still in full tears.
"I Love you so much, Jadey. I could've make you feel that during those days but I was too naive about your feelings. I was too subtle not to notice that you were suffering from a horrible condition. I'm so so sorry baby."
Perrie sobbed in her wife's hand.
She reached for the back pocket of her pants, not once letting go of Jade's hand. She took out the small box that's been kept for so long.
(Perrie's POV)
"From the first time I saw you, I knew you were the one. The one I want to wake up in the morning with. The one that I want to have kids with. The one I can see my future with. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are made for me Jade. We are made for each other. The day you said yes to me was one of the greatest day in my life. You are just so incredible that I couldn't resist you. I love your hair, I love your nose, your lips, your eyes, all about you. I love you. And I wish I had the chance to say it for the very last time. Jade baby..."
I paused as I knew I'm gonna cry again.
"I love you so so much. I may not be the best wife to you but like I said, I'd be Perrie Edwards, the one you've fallen in love with. The one who is madly inlove with you. If I had to make a wish, it is for the time to come back so I could at least make you the happiest girl because you deserve anything in this world. I love carrying you in my arms everyday, and I wish I could still do it. I love you so much Jade... and I know you won't be able to answer this but..."
I sighed, opening the small box and taking the ring in it while tears rapidly spilling down my cheeks.
"Will you marry me again, baby?"
I broke into a loud cry, knowing she wouldn't answer. I looked around, people are crying, hers and my family are comforting each other especially her mam. But something caught my eyes. Rather someone.
At the very side, there stood a girl wearing a white dress. Brown hair, soft-looking plum lips, tanned skin, a nice smile that I could get lost into, and last, those deep brown eyes that I love so much were looking back at me.
I smiled. For the first time in a while, it was genuine.
She smiled at me, and whispered in the wind...
I love you too Perrie. More than life itself. And Yes... I'll marry you again. I'm going to wait for you baby. I love you so much.
And then she was gone. I smiled. This is it. I finally found the reason behind it all. This taught me how to hold on to the love I have for Jade. To even love her more after this because I know that she's the only woman I can see myself with.
I slipped the ring into her cold finger and placed it back to where it used to be.
I cupped her cheeks. "We'll be together again baby. Just wait for me. This isn't the end. This is not goodbye. I'll see you again."
I pressed my lips onto her cold ones, taking my time and making it a bit longer just to savor the moment because I know this will be the last time that I could get to kiss her.
I pulled away slowly, but kept my eyes close. Nothing came out but her face smiling back at me.
"I'll let you go in my arms Jade. But I'll never let you go in my heart. I love you forever."
I threw the rose on the coffin after closing it completely and with that, they slowly moved it down, with me smiling just remembering the times I had with the love of my life.
--------
Love your loved ones and make them feel it while they're still there. Because you'll never know when will the time comes that they'll be gone.
*****
A/N: I tell you what, this story isn't mine. I've watched a small video clip about this on YouTube and it was really heartbreaking so I thought, why not turn it into a Jerrie story? So yeah I did it, though I added a lot of stuffs in it. So I hope you're happy of the outcome.
Credits to the owner of this story though, thank you so much!
And sorry if it's too long. I know how many of yous hates long one shots. I just wanted to take time in writing. 😊