It's like you're homesick for a place that doesn't even exist.
-Garden State
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THE NEXT MORNING Evie and I kept bugging Mal about her date with Ben while we were getting ready for the day. I wore black ripped jeans and a black crop top and had put the sunglasses Ben had given me in my hair. I wore black combat boots to top off my outfit.
"So, no kiss?" I asked. Mal groaned.
"No. We went to a lake and had a picnic and talked and I almost drowned, but Ben pulled met out. That's all," She told us, again.
"Well, that can be your next date." Evie winked. Mal groaned again and let herself fall on her bed with her head in her pillow.
"Just drop it already. I told you what happened, so stop!" Mal pretty much begged after lifting her head from her pillow.
"Okay, just one more thing," I said and Mal glared at me. I held up one finger and she eventually gave in and nodded slightly.
"Do you like Ben?" I asked and Evie joined my side, waiting for Mal's answer.
"I-I... I don't know. I'm not sure," She answered truthfully. I nodded, I knew she wouldn't say 'yes', but the fact that she didn't say 'no' was a really big deal for Mal.
"Okay," I said with a nod. I wasn't going to press further but knew that I had given her something to think about. After that, only a few words were exchanged before we left to meet up with the guys to go to our Goodness 101 class. We took our seats and everybody started working, or pretended to. I'm not sure. I stared out the window again until Fairy Godmother spoke up.
"Children, excuse me," She said while clapping her hands together. She took a breath before she continued. "As you know, this Sunday is Family Day here at Auradon Prep and because your parents can't be here due to uh, distance," I scoffed. "we've arranged for a special treat." She walked back to the front of the room and turned on a computer screen showing Maleficent very close to the camera.
"I don't see anything, nor do I hear..." Maleficent said. Fairy Godmother beckoned us forward and the Villains were struggling with the computer screen. I could see my father in the back to Evil Queen's right, he kept quiet. I think the screen went on because Evil Queen started talking to Evie.
"Oh, look how beautiful! Oh, you know what they say, the poison apple doesn't fall far from the tree," She said with pride.
"Don't you mean the weeds?" Maleficent mocked. The villains then started mocking Fairy Godmother and when she left they started talking to their children. But not my father. No, he and I had a silent stare down. He knew he didn't have to say anything, his glare said enough. He was silently telling me to not let him down, or there would be consequences. He was telling me to do whatever it would take. He kept holding my gaze and I couldn't look away if I did it would show him weakness. But I wanted to look away so bad. Just to stop feeling his cold hard stare judging me, criticizing me. Right when I thought I wouldn't be able to keep his gaze, the screen turned black. Jay had turned off the screen from beside me when their parents started arguing. I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding.
"I-I'm so sorry." Fairy Godmother apologized. I didn't understand why she apologized, she didn't do anything wrong.
"Thank you for the special treat," Jay told Fairy Godmother who had a look of pity on her face. I had never liked pity but didn't comment on it.
"Of course." She nodded and I couldn't take it anymore, I was the first one to turn around and leave, soon followed by Mal and then the others.
"M? Dee? What do you think our parents are gonna do if we don't pull this off?" Evie whispered. Mal and I shared a look.
"I think they will be quietly disappointed in us, but ultimately proud of us for doing our best," I told them with a sarcastic smile.
"Really?" Carlos asked. And I gave him a look.
"No, we are definitely goners." Mal deadpanned. I nodded.
"I'd see you in the Underworld, where who knows what would be waiting for me," I mumbled.
We left the classroom in silence and all went our separate ways. The others were probably going to their next classes, but I still had no clue what my schedule was and I didn't care enough to find out either. So, I was walking around aimlessly around the campus ground.
I then bumped into someone and stumbled backwards when I rounded a corner. I looked up to see Ben standing there with his usual smile.
"Hadee!" He said. "I was looking for you. Do you have a minute?" He kept smiling, but something was off, I could tell. I merely nodded and he pulled me along to a bench outside where there was nobody around. He sat down and I took a seat beside him with caution. I looked at him. When he didn't say anything he reminded me of Doug when he wanted to tell me about him and Evie. So, I said the same to Ben as I said to Doug.
"Okay, spill it." I sighed.
"Did you know that Mal spelled me?" He asked and looked at me. My eyed widened. How did he find out? "You did, didn't you?" He asked and I nodded silently. "Why didn't you stop her?" He asked again. I kept quiet for a moment and then made eye contact. I decided to answer honestly.
"Because you needed a push. And so did she. You wanted to know about the Isle, right?" I asked him. He nodded but looked confused as to why I would bring it up now. "On the Isle, we are taught that things like love, that they're just weaknesses. That you should never love. So, imagine being Mal, daughter of the Mistress of Evil, to feel something like love. She wouldn't have a clue about what to do with that feeling, she hardly knows that it's love, let alone how to handle it." I explained. He took in my words and thought them over.
"So, she spelled me, because she didn't know what to do?" He clarified. I nodded.
"Yup. And you being with Audrey, still," I gave him a pointed look, "didn't help. At least that one is out of the way." I muttered that last part, but he probably heard.
"I guess I can see where she's coming from." He mumbled. He then looked at me. "Can you tell me more about the Isle?" He asked. I sighed, I did promise him to tell him.
"Sure, what do you want to know?" I shrugged carelessly.
"What is it like over there?" He asked curiously. I was silent for a minute, trying to formulate my answer as accurately as possible.
"When you live on the Isle, you learn when you're young that if you want something, you take it. That you are the only person who will take care of you. You can't depend on anyone. You learn that you get farther by being feared than by being loved because the person who is feared most has the most power. And power is everything on the Isle. You learn how not to care. Basically, you learn how to be evil." I explained, not showing any emotion in my voice or on my face, while I stared off in the distance. I could feel his eyes trained on me, studying my face.
"But you had Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos, right?" He asked softly. I chuckled humorlessly and shook my head.
"Not always. Mal was the first person to dare talk to me only after a small... adventure together did the others dare to as well."
"Why?" He asked and I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, not understanding his question. "Why did they fear you so much?" He elaborated.
"You know who my father is. What do you think?" I asked rhetorically. "I'm as evil as they come, that's why."
"You're really not, you know." He told me. I scoffed. "No, I mean it. You're being nice now and I see how you are with your friends. You care. And I don't think that a truly evil person would." He tried convincing me.
"I can never be good, Ben. Don't you see that?" I asked him with a lump in my throat. I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of it. "I'm the Future Lady of the Underworld. I'm the Goddess of the Dead. People will never see me as good. I'll always be that person who takes everyone's loved ones away. Hell, even on the Isle people saw me as a monster, a beast." I was desperate for him to understand that and leave it alone, but he just wouldn't.
"That doesn't mean you aren't good, you can be good if you want." He said, laying a hand on my shoulder. I shook my head and shrugged off his hand.
"Ben, there a line between good and bad, and I crossed that line already the moment I was born." I tried convincing him. I stood up slowly and wrapped my arms around me. "Everybody has that dark side in them and mine won easily. I was never meant to be good, Ben. Can't you see that?"
'I'm a villain and a beast
A monster underneath your sheets
'Cause I'm not exactly who you think I am
I'm a giant and a ghost
I disappear before you know
But tonight, I'm gonna hold you in my hands
I don't want you scared at all analyzing when we talk
So, my lips have sealed the way I feel inside'
Almost everybody was so scared when they'd talk to me. It made you think that you were actually that beast that they thought you were. I would never tell anyone how I felt, they could only use it against me.
'Cause what's done is done
Isn't done yet
Nothing's imminent
But I think about it every minute
Of everyday
Of everyday'
I was thinking about the coronation. And started to walk away from Ben, I could hear him follow after me until he fell in step with me. He kept quiet and just listened.
'Enough is enough
But I'm not giving in, yeah
Even if it
Since I'm over the edge
Cause everybody has, a darkside
And I'm across never meant to be the bad guy
But now I'm lost
Now, I don't wanna waste your time
Or piss you off
'Cause everybody has a dark side'
I couldn't help the power and legacy I was born with, I could never change that. I was born to be the bad guy, to be the villain.
'I'm the devil and I'm cursed
It feels like every moment's worse
I would sell my soul
To make this go away
There's a good to every bad
Here's the thing, now understand
I believe that we can make a change
What's done is done
Isn't done yet
Nothing's imminent
But I think about it every minute
Of everyday
Of everyday
Enough is enough
No, I'm not giving in, yeah
Even if it
Since I'm over the edge
Cause everybody has a darkside
And I'm across, never meant to be the bad guy
But now I'm lost
Now, I don't wanna waste your time
Or piss you off
Cause everybody has a dark side
Before we need a second chance
There's the one we have
But I know that you and I
Are pulling away
Everybody has a dark side
Everybody has a dark side'
I wasn't sure who the last couplet was meant for. Maybe for me and my friends, because they found their life here in Auradon, while I belonged in the Underworld and on the Isle. Or maybe for my father, because I was distancing myself from him. I don't know, but I knew that I didn't belong here.
'Ooooh I don't wanna end this
on a low
I only wanna fix it cause it's broke
I don't wanna take one for the road
Cause we'll make us whole'
I truly didn't want to leave this place, but I knew I had to at some point. This place could never be my home. I didn't belong here. I wasn't good enough for it.
'Everybody has a darkside
And I'm across, never meant to be the bad guy
But now I'm lost
I don't wanna waste your time
Or piss you off
Cause everybody has a dark side
Before we need a second chance
There's the one we have
But I know that you and I
Are pulling away
Everybody has a darkside
Everybody has a darkside'
When I finished singing Ben and I had walked towards the school entrance and we now stood in the small hall where we met Doug the first time.
"Hadee," Ben said softly, gaining my attention. "You may have a dark side, but there's light to every dark and you just have to find yours." I looked up at him, tears were starting to form in my eyes, but I forced them down.
"Thank you, Ben," I said pushing down more tears. I didn't agree but was grateful for his faith in me.
"Come here," Ben said and wrapped me in a hug. I got the same feeling from this hug as I got when I hugged Jay or Carlos, even though that hardly ever happened. It's been happening more and more since we got to Auradon though. I had tears in my eyes that I tried to push down, again. He pressed a brotherly kiss on my head and I could feel one tear escape. The warm tears slowly rolled down my cheek. We pulled apart and I gave him a small smile before turning around and walking back to my dorm. Leaving without saying another word. I discreetly wiped away the tear and only hoped that no one saw. I squared my shoulders and held my chin up high while walking back to my dorm.
Later at night, me and the girls went to the boys' dorm to go over our plan to get the wand at the coronation. Mal showed us a very detailed drawing of the wand that she had drawn.
"Okay, we all know what this looks like." Mal started and pointed at her drawing of the wand. "So, it'll be up on the dais under the Beast's spell jar." She pointed out.
"And we'll be coming from here." I pointed at the entrance. Mal nodded.
"I will be at the very front. You all will be up in the balcony." She finished.
"Okay," Evie answered for all of us.
"Carlos?" I asked.
"Okay, so I will find our limo, so we can break the barrier and uh, get back on the island with the wand," He told us his part.
"Perfect. Evie?" I looked at Evie.
"Yeah?" She asked. Mal gave her a perfume bottle.
"You will use this to take out the driver. Two sprays and he'll be out like a light." Mal explained.
"Okay." Evie nodded. We all shared a look before doing our own thing. Mal sat down and Evie and I read the spell she was reading; 'How to break a love spell'.
"M?" I asked. Mal looked up.
"You wanna break Ben's love spell?" Evie asked in disbelief. Mal looked unsure.
"Yeah. You know, for after." She told Evie and me, but I knew the boys were listening too. Evie sat down in the chair next to Mal and I stood behind her. "I've just been thinking, you know, when the villains finally do invade Auradon and begin to loot and kick everyone out of their castles and imprison their leaders and destroy all that is good and beautiful... Ben still being in love with me just seems a little extra... cruel." Evie nodded slightly and I gave a soft smile. She really did love him. Mal slammed her book shut and took off. Evie called after her but left her alone. I walked out the door and saw Mal, who was about to turn a corner at the end of the hallway.
"Mal?" I called after her through the silent halls. She turned around and I saw tears brimming in her eyes, reflecting the moonlight coming from the window.
"What?" She snapped in a desperate attempt to seem strong. "Don't stop me, Hadee. Please." She begged. I shook my head.
"I won't," I told her, which caused a look of surprise to cross her face.
"You won't?" I shook my head and walked towards her. "Why?"
"Because I think that what you're doing is extremely brave and shows just how strong you really are." Mal took a sharp, shaky intake of breath, clenching and unclenching her jaw.
"You really think so?" She breathed out. I nodded.
"I do." I walked closer and slowly gave her a hug, knowing that she needed one.
"You never give hugs," Mal muttered in my shoulder. "You get them, but you never give them."
"I know," I whispered back. "I never give hugs, just as you never cry." We both let out a small chuckle as we pulled away, but still held each other's forearms. "You can do this. It'll be okay, I promise," I told her quietly. We let go and she tried to discreetly wipe away a tear. I grabbed her hand and wiped away the tear rolling down her cheek for her. "It's okay," I said, referring to her crying. She looked down for a second before looking up.
"Thank you, Dee," She said quietly.
"Always, M," I said and walked away back to my dorm. I laid in my bed and thought about Auradon. I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue the plan, but I had to. My father expected me to. But my friends loved it here. Jay loved being part of the team. He had so much fun running on the field with the team having his back. Carlos loved playing with Dude, he couldn't leave him, but his mom would turn him into ear muffs. Evie found out she can be smart and didn't have to play dumb. She even found a nice guy instead of a stuck-up prince. And Mal learned to love and she didn't want to be like her mother.
And I, I just want them to be happy. I loved helping them out just by talking to them. It was the same feeling I got as when I would talk to the souls of people before they left. I knew that may sound creepy, but that's how I felt. I didn't know what was going to happen, so decided to sleep and wait for tomorrow.
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