Khushi stood shock still, blinking at him trying to understand what he just said.
She could see him very clearly this close.
He appeared tired and had dark circles under his eyes.
Arnav was so tired and he just wanted to sleep.
A week of not sleeping peacefully and he had tried to sleep but, he just woke up after a while tossing and turning around. He hated it.
He just wanted to sleep. God..!
He was so used to a warm body pressed up against him.
He even hugged a pillow and went to sleep but he just couldn't sleep.
Ugh.. And above all she avoided him as usual.
Why can't he just be in peace when he got what he wanted.
After all its him who didn't want to see her. Correct..?
Then why wasn't he satisfied.
She was driving me crazy.
He then finally searched her willingly, having had enough.
He then told her abruptly,
“Its all your fault.."
She looked at him confusingly asking,
“Sir..?"
Oh! how he hate that word from her mouth.
Khushi was startled when he snatched her hand and dragged her without answering her to their room...
And towards the bed..?
What was happening..?
He then pushed her down. She doesn't know what to do so she slowly tried to get up. But she got pushed down again this time with a glare.
He laid down beside her and ordered her to stay here. He then pulled her close with his hand and nuzzled her neck with his face, awakening something inside her, raising goosebumps.
He laid there for a while, tickling her neck with his breath.
What was he doing to her..?
Doesn't he care how much it affected her?
Gathering up the courage to ask him what he was doing, she opened her mouth to question him but found him asleep.
He's asleep..?
He's asleep holding her like this..?
She slowly raised one hand and caressed his hair slowly.
He sighed in his sleep and pulled her close.
She liked this sleeping Arnav Ji without hateful words or harsh attitude.
It's Arnav Ji version 2.
He's such a child in sleep.
She admired his face for a while and pulled him to her and hugged him, humming some song.
She felt happy that he somehow got used to her.
She felt happy that he trusted her enough to lay down beside her.
Little did she know that Arnav was not completely asleep.
He relaxed the moment he held her in his arms.
He was getting sleepy but not asleep, so he knew that she caressed his hair and hummed a lullaby for him.
Arnav slept smiling and was scared what will happen if he allowed her in his life or what would he become after their marriage ended.
Khushi laid awake for six hours there still caressing him, occasionally as she couldn't sleep with how tight he hugged her and where all his hands wandered in sleep, keeping her awake even if she got sleepy.
Once, she even got up to leave but she was pulled down by a strong hand even in sleep.
After some time, he woke up and looked at her laying in his arms thinking about something.
He was well rested and he's really scared of how things were going to be between them..
Once, he had let a girl in his life and things went down. She ruined his starting of business almost robing him of everything he had.
He learned a life lesson that day.
Is Khushi the same as her..?
Is she different..?
Why was she affecting him this much..?
He shook her, letting her know he was awake. He saw her blush, retrieving her hands.
He sat up straight and told her,
“It means nothing. I was just restless these days as I got used to sleeping beside someone. I won't sleep well when surrounding changes."
He gave her a lame excuse, but still harsh enough to let her know she had no control over him.
She whispered, “I know Sir"
Hearing the tone, he looked at her only to find her head lowered and fingers fidgeting.
“I am going to work. "
Even if its midnight, he had work pending for the last three days. After all he felt rested and relaxed.
She didn't look up, but nodded and said,
“Ok sir."
He shrugged and went to freshen up leaving behind a broken hearted girl.
Khushi wanted to berate herself for hoping.
Hasn't she promised herself to never hope.?
Never imagine or assume anything. He himself said not to assume anything.
She thought and hoped that he must have become used to her presence and that's why he wanted her to sleep beside him.
She felt more depressed than she had ever felt.
It meant nothing..
He said, it meant nothing..
I am nothing to him..
How can she be anything to him..?
I am nothing..
I am unlovable..
I don't deserve a moment of kindness.
Then how come she hoped that she had become someone who had a part in his life. She had believed something changed between them.
Oh how wrong was she..
He must be disgusted to pull her in his arms sleeping..
He must never know how much safe and happy she felt in his arms.
The thought of her husband no matter how temporary he was but still her husband, hating her more, felt like knives piercing her heart.
She got up as usual, ignoring the deep hurt and ache in her heart.
What else she can do..?
She felt like a used toy..
She went to the study room and slept on the couch.
-------------------
Arnav finished his work and went to sleep at 3 in the morning, wanting to sleep for a while more, only to find the bed empty.
He went and looked at her study room and saw her sleeping on the couch.
He groaned.
Oh God! why was she doing this.?
Hadn't he dragged her to sleep beside him in the bed.
He shook his head and went to sleep.
He woke up when Hariprakash woke him up.
Hariprakash woke him whenever he overslept nowadays.
He knew it was his wife sending him to wake him up. Because, one day he had scolded her a lot for not waking and from that day she always sent Hariprakash to wake him up.
She always brought the worst in him.
He did his morning duties and went to dining table tohave breakfast.
His food was served by a smiling Khushi saying something to his Di.
He could see Di's happiness at how Khushi was finally getting along with them.
He finished his breakfast silently, eyes never leaving her face and then went to his room to get ready.
He put his shirt and fumbled around the button.
He looked at her getting things for college almost mechanically.
Her laughter was fake downstairs.
He could see sadness in every gesture.
What happened..?
He didn't know.
He just wanted her to not look like this.
He then got an idea to have a reason to talk with her.
He pulled the tie and called her,
“Khushi, come here.."
“Sir..?" She still has lowered head.
It's becoming a habit to her nowadays.
He asked her, if she knew how to use a tie.
She nodded, not knowing why he's asking this.
She did use to wear tie in her school uniform till twelfth grade.
She looked at him puzzlingly.
He gave her the tie and told her to tie it around his neck.
Arnav gave a lame excuse about something suddenly happened to his hand and its in pain.
She just nodded and found herself unable to reach his neck.
“Sir, I can't reach you.."
Arnav decides to sit on the nearby chair.
Arnav felt hyper aware of her when she bent down, leaning towards him to move the tie on the back of his collar.
He was just an inch from her neck.
He gulped down his desires forcefully when she pulled away and put the tie around his neck.
He could feel her touch even through the shirt.
He was in a daze and nodded when she told him it was finished.
He totally forgot about asking her why she was so sad.
He shook his head and went to office, convincing himself it doesn't matter..
------------------------
Khushi ran to the study room, thanking God, no one was in home to see her like this.
She knew what day today was but still she went. She knew that she will suffer.
She left college in a hurry even though it was only noon.
But what happened in college was beyond anything she had imagined.
She threw her bag away and locked the study.
She was strong, she repeated to herself but she couldn't help but think about the unfair things happening to her.
She shuddered to think about today's event.
She hugged herself and cried.
She hated being so weak..
She hated herself..
Her life..
She hated everything..