Tu Na Jane aas paas hai khuda! Tu Na Jane aas paas hai khuda! Tu Na Jane aas paas hai khuda! Tu Na Jane aas paas haiii khuda!
The crowd sang along. I strummed my guitar one last time in closure and looked up, the adrenaline still high after the concert. The crowd was cheering and I could hear them chant my name throughout, just like she always wanted. I smiled at the crowd, held up my guitar in salutation and blew a kiss. The noise just got louder and i could hear my enthusiastic fans scream for a repeat performance. I turned around and walked out of the stage, back to my green room, her thoughts clouding my brain.
There's only so much time one is allowed to grieve. Everything has to get back to normal after a period. Everything becomes a part of the past and you move on. That's what the world expects, its the social norm. That's what the human mind does too. You learn to cope. But only you know how much that person mattered to you. Only you know how much at loss you feel because that person is no longer around. On you know the pain you feel when you remember the days and nights you spent with them. Only you know how much you miss them.
I closed the door to my green room and slumped down on the couch. I could feel my eyes tearing up as I remembered that night. How could I have been so careless?
I wiped my face as I heard a knock on the door. My best friend and manager,Kabir came waltzing in, his stupid smile plastered on his face as always. I envy this man most of the times. How can someone be so cheerful, so happy at all times? How can someone be smiling in the toughest of situations? Answers to these questions is what i had been looking for, ever since that night.
"Rihaan, great show buddy! I'm so proud of you!" he came ahead and hugged me with all his might. I smiled back at him, returning the brotherly affection he showered on me. He has been my constant pillar of support over the years and has seen me in my best and worst alike. We met in school and were inseparable since.
"Listen, i'm going to rush to the hospital now. Meera has been having regular contractions. The baby could be here any time now. She's going to need me around." Kabir spoke with obvious excitement, the joy of being a new father shining in his eyes. I appreciate his commitment to our friendship, but at times like these, he acted really stupid. He should have already been at the hospital, besides his wife right now.
I stared at him and he smiled back sheepishly, running his hand through his thick hair, already understanding what i wanted to say. He walked silently to the door and turned the knob. Turning back at me one more time, he winked at me, "I know, I know. I'll take care of Meera and the baby. I'll let you know once she's delivered and you're coming there tomorrow anyway, but meet Mr Khambata before you leave. He wanted to talk about the next concert. Sorry, can't save you from the after party this time around."
I went into the washroom and splashed water over my face. I have always hated crowded places. Parties were never my thing. I'm sure if she didn't want it, I'd never be a part of the industry either. The glam and shine was not me. Usually, I keep to myself, do my job and leave. Kabir handles everything for me. He's the best at his job and there's nothing than having a manager who is also your best friend.
I took a deep breath and wiped my face. Quickly changing into my tee and hood, I walked out of the room. The ground had been cleared and the fans had left. The only people that remained were the ones invited to the party by the production team. I entered the arena and was surrounded immediately by the frenzied media. I smiled and slowly made my way in. I wanted to get over with meeting the producer and leave. I spotted him at a distance and made my way towards him.
It was well past midnight when i walked out of the NCPA at Nariman point. This place, that throngs with the people working across the corporate offices all through the day was now totally empty. I reached out towards the door of my car when i could feel the cool breeze of the sea on my face. I pulled my hand back and slowly walked towards the pavement. I could see the silhouettes of the high rises at a distance. I could hear the waves crashing against the tripods placed across the shore. Being at one end of the Queens Necklace, i could see the entire length of the area, shining bright. I could see some crowd further away, even in the middle of the night and all i could think of was, 'Does this city ever sleep?'
I stood listening to listening to the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. Oh how much i love the calm! Taking in a deep breath, i spread my arms out to absorb the serenity when i heard some commotion nearby. I could hear someone shouting and cursing but chose to ignore it considering it must be some of those hooligans that wander around the area at night. The place gave them a perfect hiding spot and no one disturbed them here.I snapped out of my thoughts when i thought i heard a woman's voice along with the others. I was immediately reminded of that night when I almost lost 'her'.
Instinctively, i started moving towards the sound. I walked further around the block and could see a woman being forced to get into their van by two men. They were arguing among themselves. The men tried to pull her along and she was resisting them and pointing fingers at them. An immediate instinct to protect her took over and I immediately covered my head with the hood, running towards them. "Aye!" I called out. The men stilled as they saw me approaching. Since there were no street lights in the area, they wouldn't have been able to see my face. I was sure of that.
"Aapa ka aadmi hoga. Chod isko chokri ko warna ye maar dalega" [Must be Aapa's man. Let this girl go or he'll kill us!] i heard one of the two men telling the other. "Lekin,bhai ka kya? Ye nai mili toh woh maar dalega" [but then, what about Bhai? He'll kill us if he doesn't get her.] I heard the other man argue."Are bhai ko bol dega ye nai mili. Abhi chal. Woh aare la hai." [We'll tell Bhai we couldn't find her. Now let's leave. He's coming here.] the first guy said and the two of them left in their van. I had no idea what they were talking about but by the time I reached the place the van was at a distance. I remembered the girl they were trying to pull along and turned to ask her if she was okay, but she wasn't there. I looked around for her, but saw her nowhere. I looked up as i felt a few drops of water on my face. In no time, the drops turned into downpour and i ran towards my car. Quickly getting in, i removed the hood from my head. My thoughts went back to the girl. I hadn't seen her properly due to the dim lights, but she looked thin and small. I was sure she had worn something in red. Hoping that she was okay, i turned the key on the ignition and started driving. Where was I headed, I didn't know, but i didn't want to home tonight. I couldn't. I was thinking too much about her tonight and home would only aggravate the memories.
I was driving, not thinking of anything in particular when the rain became fierce. Thunder echoed through the sky and i could see flashes of lightning too. Suddenly, a few meters later, my car stopped. I looked around, but the rain was so heavy that I couldn't see anything beyond my car. I turned the key a couple of times to get the car started but nothing worked. 'Dammn!' I banged my hand against the steering.
The rain took me back to another night, not so long ago. It was pouring just as much that night. That night when.. Well, rain and me never had a good relation. I didn't like the mess and crowd that came with monsoon. Hours of traffic jams and diseases, that's what the downpour brought. But now, i hated rains. It always reminded me of that night..
I decided to get out of the car and look for some other way to reach home. It was late into the night and I was exhausted. I needed to sleep.Pulling the keys out, i pulled up the hood and quickly dashed out of the car and ran straight into the shelter in front of me.I brushed the water off my jacket and got out my phone to call someone for help. Usually, i would call Kabir in such a situation, but since his wife was in the hospital, i let it be. I decided to call some staff from the concert. Maybe they could help. I wasn't far from the venue anyway.
"Purab, listen, I'm kinda stuck. My car broke down and I need help. Yeah.. What place?" I looked around to see if i knew the place, but no, I didn't recognise the area. There was nothing around that could indicate where i was. I looked around to see if there was someone i could ask for help."Kya hua saab? Kisko dhund rahe ho?" [what happened, saab! Who are you looking for?] i heard a lady's voice and quickly turned around.
I saw a thin fragile woman, sitting there in a bright red saree, that barely covered her. Her colourful blouse had a deep cut, clearly exposing her cleavage. Her plump lips were painted in the darkest shade of cherry i had ever see and she sat with a cigarette in her hand. Her look was repulsive and I instantly felt disgusted standing around her. No, I had nothing against her but it does happen sometimes that you don't like someone. This was one such case.
"Rihaan, you there?" I heard Purab on the phone, breaking my thoughts. Helpless that I was, I asked her about the place. "Flora Fountain" she said. I was about to say that to Purab when I realised that my phone was dead. "Dammn! Stupid phone!" I cursed. I heard her chuckle and was immediately aware of her presence. I cursed my luck again and looked around.
I was in a platform of sorts and I could see a fountain in front of me. It's architecture was exquisite and ancient. It looked beautiful. I was sure the place must be full of people during the day and maybe the nights too. I was wondering why there was no one today. 'Maybe because of the storm!' I thought.
"Cigarette lega kya saab?" [Do you want a cigarette, saab?] she asked me. I turned around and shook my head. She smirked at me and slyly stood up from her seat. She came close to me and put the cigarette down, stamping it to extinguish the flame. She then ran a finger on my face and I froze. "Doesn't this woman have shame? First, she wears provocative clothes, then she smokes and now, she's seducing me!" I thought to myself. I took a step back and gulped.
"Kya saab.. Khulle me sharam aata hai? Chal idhar hotel me mera pehchan hai. Discount bhi dega." [what saab? If you're shy to do this in the open, let's go to the hotel nearby. I have my contacts there. He'll give you a discount.] she said and that's precisely when I realised what she meant.
If i repelled her before, i hated her presence now. "Apna haath door rakho, don't touch me!" I shouted and turned around, walking towards the other end of the platform. When I looked back, I could see that she was stunned. Her annoyance was visible on her face and she scowled sitting back on her seat.
"Aaj ka din ich kharab hai. Pehle woh Shakya ka aadmi ke wajah se late ho gaya upar se baarish ke wajah se boni bhi nai hua. Ek bakra aya, woh bhi nikamma nikla!" [Its a bad day. First, Shakya's men got me delayed and now, I can't even find a client because of the rains. I thought i got my business for today but this guy also seems useless.] I heard her curse.
I ignored her and started looking around for ways to get out of the place. There was nothing. No people, no cars, nothing. I was stranded. I saw some light as a car approached us. It slowed and i saw her rush towards it. I half ran towards the car too, wanting to ask for help. She stood there, flirting with him and i could see the guy motion her to get into the car.
"Excuse me, i need help. My car broke down.. Could you just help me get a mechanic?" I asked the guy who was shocked and scared as soon as he saw me. He immediately rushed off. "What went wrong? Am i that scary?" I thought and chuckled.
"Saab aap jao idhar se." [Saab you go away from here] I heard her again. "Kyu?" [Why] I asked."Saab ye dhande ka time hai. Aap mere customers bhaga rahe ho. Aap ko dekh ke bhag gaya woh." [Saab, I need to work. You are driving my customers away. The guy ran away because of you.] she said. I just shrugged and sat on the bench, a little away from hers. I saw her extinguish yet another cigarette. She looked tired, exhausted. The rain had washed away quite a bit of her makeup and could see patches of black under her baggy eyes. She looked up at me and her eyes reflected pain. I felt bad that she had to let her customer go because of me. I pulled out my wallet from my pocket.
"Umm.. Suno.. Meri wajah se.." [Hey listen, it's because of me that you..] i said offering her some money. She chuckled at me and shrugged."Dhande wali hu saab.. Bhikari nai.." [Im a prostitute saab. Not a beggar.]"Naam kya hai tumhara?" [What's your name?]"Koi chanda bolta hai, koi rosy toh koi chameli. Tumko jo bolne ka bolo saab. Hum jaison ka naam nai hota." [some people call me Chanda, some call me Rosy, some call me chameli. Call me whatever you like. We people dont have names.]"Tum rehti kahan ho?" [Where do you live?]"Udhar hi jidhar mere jaise kahin sare hai. Kamatipura me.. Lamington road ke paas. Yeh toh din ka address hai saab. Raat ko kabhi hotel me, kabhi kisi ki gadi me toh kabhi kisi ke ghar me." [i live where everyone like me does.. In Kamatipura, near Lamington Road. That's my address during the day. Nights are spent in hotels, cars or random people's homes.]"Aur tumhari family..?" [And what about your family?]"Kya bolu saab.. Acha khasa ghar tha Nashik me, maa bauji the. Bauji ko lakwa maar gaya. Unhone bahut karza liya tha mere liye. Wapas karne ke paise nai the. Upar se bauji ki bimari. Ek rishtedaar ne kaam ka lalach dekar mujhe bombay laya aur sale ne bech dia idhar."[what do i say saab.. I had a nice house in Nashik, loving parents. And then, father got paralysed. He'd borrowed a lot of money for my education. We had no money to return. Moreoever, father's illness cost a lot. A relative of mine got me here with a promise of getting me a job and that asshole sold me off.]
I was stumped. I didn't know what to say or how to react. Dammn, why did life had to be so unfair..