Her mouth formed a small "o" as his words registered. Her shock didn't surprise him. Her confidence had been stripped to the bone, so she didn't see what he did—a tough girl who'd been put in an impossible situation. She could have made a big fuss or had a pity party, but no, she handled it with grace and a mental fortitude that would have put grown men to shame.
God, he craved her like an addict in need of his next fix. It was probably the wrong response to her confession—no probably about it, buddy—but her strength shone like a star in the abyss. Beautiful but simpering girls had always been a turnoff. He wanted a girl to take charge and make life happen for them, not to them.
His whole body shuddered with anger as he thought about Arianne's mom. She sounded like a real piece of work. That type of betrayal was worse than being right or wrong. It went against the very fabric of values a family holds dear. He didn't care how resentful or persecuted Arianne's mom felt. What she did was criminal.
And that ex-boyfriend...Garrett would love five minutes in a room alone with him. But what he didn't understand was the relationship with her dad. Why had it deteriorated when Arianne had done nothing but try to protect her family?
There was more she wasn't telling him, but he didn't want to push. Not when she appeared fragile like a porcelain doll he could break with the gentlest touch. He'd never seen her so vulnerable. Or small. And it made him angry all over again. He squeezed the back of her neck and cupped her cheek with his other hand. "I mean it. You're amazing. And I get why you're distant, but I'm not like those people." They put their needs, their wants above everything else. He wouldn't do that to Arianne.
A sheen of tears brightened her face as she covered his hand with hers. "I know you're not. You're on a different planet than my ex."
His heart quivered with hope as she leaned into his touch. He wanted to lower his mouth onto hers, feel the sweet brush of her lips. "Let me in, Ari. Give me a chance."
His stomach sank as her face dimmed. "I don't see how we can work when we're so wrapped up in our own issues."
He clutched her closer, refusing to let his hope die. "But don't you see? We are the cure, or at least you're the cure for me. I used to think it was baseball, but that changed when I met you."
"And when all of a sudden I don't work like baseball anymore? Will you move on to the next 'cure'?" she asked, air quoting the last word with a touch of cynicism.
He hadn't thought of it that way. But move on from Arianne? His mind and body rebelled at the sheer thought. Yes, she calmed his mind, but he'd been attracted to her long before that.
Arianne dragged his hands off her, and he felt the loss like a knife to the gut. "I don't want to fix someone, and I certainly don't need them to fix me."
He could feel her mentally pulling away and scrambled to make her understand. "I'm not trying to fix you. I'm trying to...to..." Silently, he moaned with frustration. He felt like a bumbling lawyer trying to plead his case with a stone cold jury. "Look at it like this. I'm a piece of cheese with a lot of holes. Yeah, you heard me right. A piece of cheese. Life has been rough and taken its bite out of me. And you're the same way. But when we're together, we overlap, so we fill each other. And yeah, this went real dirty, real quick, but you get what I'm trying to say."
She huffed like she wasn't sure whether she should be amused or horrified. He drew her hands to his chest, right above his heart and looked her straight in the eyes. "Let me fill your holes, Arianne."
Her feet dropped to the ground as her laugh floated across the air like a rich melody. "How could a girl resist such a gentlemanly offer?"
"It's a mystery," he said, pleased with himself.
"Holes aside," her lips quirked briefly, "I think if two people who are that flimsy get together, they'd fall apart under the pressure. That's not what I want."
Garrett masked his disappointment. "So what do you want?"
"I want us to go on like we have been. Can't that be enough?"
He rallied behind the fact that she hadn't outright refused him. They could keep hanging out, getting to know each other, and during that time he would prove he was in it for the long haul. That what they had wouldn't fall apart at the slightest roadblock. Besides, she hadn't realized he still had her hands which were resting in between his on his lap. He took that as a good sign.
"Garrett?" she prodded, her concern tender. It might have been a sweet moment if not for the dread clouding her eyes as if she was bracing for the worst. It reminded him of a dog he found years ago chained to a tree in a neighbor's yard. It had been conditioned to expect abuse. How many times had she been conditioned to expect betrayal? To be let down?
He chose his words wisely. He could have sugarcoated things but to not be one hundred percent honest would be another form of betrayal. Arianne deserved his honesty. She deserved his respect. "I won't lie and say I like what you're saying, but I get it. And if that's what you want, then that's what we'll do."
She pressed her lips together in a sad smile of gratitude that broke his heart. "Thanks."
As the night gave way to a new day, Garrett made a pledge. Whatever happened between them, even if they didn't end up together, Arianne could always count on him. She had Morgan, and now, Garrett for life.
"Garrett?" she whispered in the silence.
"Yeah?" he whispered back.
"Are you ever going to let go of my hand?"
He suppressed a grin. "No."
"Oh." A second later, "I thought you agreed?"
"You said to go on as we've been. I think giving comfort falls within those lines."
Garrett prepared for a withdrawal, but it never came. He considered it a point in the win column. Maybe if he scored high enough, she'd change her mind and trust him enough to go on a date with him. He could already see the night in his head.
He didn't have a lot of money so he couldn't take her to a fancy restaurant, but he had a feeling she wasn't into extravagance. She'd prefer a meaningful date like a picnic down by Heartache Lake or something fun like ice skating. Afterward, they'd meander around campus as they got lost in conversation, occasionally stopping to swing on a playground or have an impromptu rock skipping contest on the lake.
Then when they were huddled together under the guise of getting warm, he'd kiss her. Light at first so as not to scare her, but as their hormones ramped up it'd get out of control to the point where they couldn't keep their hands off or under their clothes—
He wanted to slap himself. Was he really thinking about that with her right next to him? Luckily, she was focused on the park below to notice the train of his thoughts. A little too focused. What was going on in that mind of hers?
Not wanting to get caught staring, he glanced down at their intertwined hands fascinated by the contrast of their skin. The difference wasn't merely color, but tones. However, what really amazed him was the way they complimented each other. Next to her his deep tawny skin became richer, more vibrant, and hers pulled more golden as if they were drawing each other into their own.
A flash of silver caught his attention. He angled her hand and recognized the ring on her thumb. It was the same one she wore at the bridge. It was a simple signet ring—square in body with a thick silver band—but an elegant H, the kind one saw in wedding invitations, was etched on top.
Who...?
Suddenly, he remembered their conversation after that disastrous dinner with Harmony. Arianne mentioned an artist friend named Harvey who'd gotten into an accident and went colorblind. He's the reason she started writing down people's colors. Why she still wrote people's colors.
He felt a burning sensation in his chest. In Garrett's neighborhood, wearing a guy's ring was a declaration. A claim. It screamed, "This girl is mine." But if Arianne was truly his, then where was he? Why wasn't he on the list of people Arianne could rely on?
The jealous beast in him demanded answers, but he reigned himself in. He couldn't smash into Arianne's world like he had a right to be there because he didn't. She hadn't permitted him to be anything more than a friend. He shifted their hands, so the ring was hidden, but he could still feel it watching him, judging him, like a freaking ring of Mordor. He itched to rip it off her finger and throw it off the cliff.
"You okay?" Arianne asked. He realized every muscle in his body was strung tighter than a violin. He forced himself to relax and nod like he hadn't just mentally beat up some guy he'd never met.
"I've been wondering something," she said slowly. He forced himself to not fidget under her scrutiny. "How did you know I was the one who arranged the event?"
Relief poured out of him. He was wondering when she would pick up on that. "I knew you were in charge from the way everyone ran to you for help and I saw those volunteers pushing you to go up on stage. Plus, I ran into Morgan again." He grinned at the memory. "She had a lot say."
She dropped her forehead onto his shoulder and let out a low groan. "I don't want to know."
He felt like a gladiator who'd just won Rome glory as she leaned on him. Screw you, Harvey. "You should. She really admires you."
"Morgan?" Her glasses went crooked as her nose scrunched in incredulity.
He nodded, adjusting them for her. He let his fingers linger, smiling to himself as she shifted to give him a better angle. The move felt natural like they'd been doing this a thousand times. "Said you were one of the few people in the world she could count on no matter the situation and once you decided something, you threw yourself into it one hundred percent."
She buried her face in his jacket to hide a sweet, shy smile he'd never seen before. It was adorable, and he almost hated to ruin it. Almost. "Oh, she also said you haven't gotten laid since you came to Eason," he added. Sure enough, the shyness morphed into outrage that lit her face like the Fourth of July. She was beautiful when angry. He kept that to himself though. She didn't seem to be in the mood for compliments.
"I'm going to throttle her."
"She wants you happy." Morgan had also threatened a cheese grater to his balls if he ever took advantage of where he wasn't wanted, and he believed her. The hardness lurking behind her eyes was no joke. Some people said things but had no willpower to back it up. That girl did. In spades. He wondered how she and Arianne became such tight friends. More importantly, he wondered how someone like Morgan could have broken through Arianne's borders and gained her trust.
"And apparently laid," Arianne muttered under her breath.
Garrett snickered. "It's cute."
Arianne nudged his side. "I don't know why you're smirking, Mr. Celibate."
His smile dropped. "How did you know that?"
"Jordan told me."
"Of course he did. Let me guess. He warned you off of me. Told you I was a bad bet." Her face said it all and wasn't that just his luck? He should have been prepared for this once he knew Jordan and Arianne were friends. The guy was incapable of keeping his mouth shut and staying out of Garrett's business.
Arianne frowned. "What's your deal with each other? Why the hostility?"
He shrugged. "The guy hated me as soon as I showed up for our first meeting. And it pisses me off because in high school I looked up to him. I thought he'd be my mentor."
"That's so unlike him," Arianne murmured. "I mean, I don't know him that well, but in class he always welcomes the new kids."
"Guess it's just me that pisses him off." Although the conversation they had by the boulders replayed in his mind. Had Jordan turned over a new leaf? Or was something else going on?
Arianne didn't appear appeased by his answer as she pinched her lips together like she was trying to untangle the world's largest knot. He squeezed her hand and said, "It's not a big deal. I'm used to it."
"Well, you shouldn't have to be," she said hotly. Her defense made his body swell like his skin was a size too small. Could a person burst from happiness? "I was wondering..." She licked her bottom lip, and his body hardened. "Is your celibacy a religious thing?"
Talk about a deflator.
"I'm not celibate," he answered. "The whole thing started at the beginning of the year when they nicknamed me Saint because I didn't drink that much. Then when I didn't hook up with girls, they assumed I was celibate."
"And you never corrected them?"
He shrugged. "Why bother? I know the truth. That's all the matters." He wondered if his celibacy mattered to her. Was it the reason she allowed him to hold her hand? No. It couldn't be because she had yet to pull away.
"So why didn't you hook up with girls?" she asked. Was it his imagination or did she look a little pink?
"I've never been into the one-night stand thing," he said. After witnessing his parents' marriage, he couldn't see sex as a purely physical act. It had to mean something. "And I hadn't met anyone here I'd wanted more than one night with." And yes, he was very aware he spoke in past tense. By Arianne's shoulders tensing he knew she caught it too.
He decided to go all in. Lay all his chips on the table. "I have a lot of baggage, and I was afraid to burden someone I genuinely like with it. Didn't seem fair, you know? I get someone wonderful, and all they get is a messed up guy." He swallowed, determined to get past the self-doubt. "So when I did meet someone I genuinely liked, I stayed away."
"What changed?" Her voice whispered over him like an intimate brush of fingers.
"I realized she was tougher—stronger—than I gave her credit for. She's the type of girl that when the world would walk away, she would stay and fight. That's the kind of person I want in my life. That's the kind of girl I could easily fall for. I only hope I can do the same for her."
She shivered as a gust of wind lifted her hair, feathering it across his arm and chest. He hated the layers of cotton and wool separating them. He wanted to feel the silken strands gliding against his skin like a brush painting a masterpiece.
"What about you?" he asked. "Why haven't you been with anyone since school started? Is it because of what happened with your ex?"
"Parts of it." She withdrew her hand from his, and shifted forward, placing her hands on the edge of the bench.
"What about the other parts?"
Her knuckles turned white. "It's complicated."
He got the hint and dropped the subject, guiding the conversation to superficial topics like favorite TV shows and which fast food chain made the best french fries. FYI—it's McDonald's. And when she started to relax, and her death grip relented, he brought up what he'd been dying to talk about all night.
"So I want to ask you about something." His whole body flushed, getting hot and sweaty like he'd run five miles. "Have you heard of B-Bash?"
"Yes, even I, lowly outcast Ari, have heard of B-Bash." The teasing lilt in her voice made his heart stutter, and he had to force himself to concentrate on the task at hand. He couldn't leave tonight without an answer.
"Do you, uh..." He swallowed back the nerves. "Do you want to go with me?" Before she could say no, he said, "Hear me out. This isn't a date per say. It's a rescue. I'm not the most liked guy on the team right now. I mean you saw what happened. I need someone to help me out."
She gaped at him like he'd grown two heads. "So I'm the shield to your Captain America?"
He rolled his shoulders, working out the knots in his back. "I'm no Cap. Trust me." He didn't have the hero gene. Just ask his brother. Oh wait, no one could because Garrett had fucked everything up.
"I think you're underestimating yourself," Arianne told him.
"And I think you need a new prescription for those glasses. But seriously, you'd be saving me. Please?" He got down on his knees and held his hands together like he was praying. "Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
She tried to get him to stand, but he shook her off. Finally, she asked, "Why don't you ask Harmony? She'd love to go with you."
"Because I'm not interested in Harmony. If I have to spend a night with those guys I want to be with someone I'd have fun with."
A big dose of doubt crossed her face. "And you wouldn't have fun with Harmony?"
"She'd want to be social and dance and interact with everyone till the wee hours of the morning."
She raised an eyebrow. "And I wouldn't?"
"You're many things Arianne, but a social butterfly isn't one of them." She laughed like he knew she would. "Think about it. We can huddle in a corner somewhere and eat, and people watch. And if it's too boring or too much, we'll leave."
She looked off into the sunrise, and he knew in his gut she was seriously considering it. He stayed silent, letting her think. Finally, she turned back to him, her face solemn. His hands dropped to his side, dejection setting in, but then he saw her grey eyes brimming with excitement, and it set off a spark in his chest. He rose to his feet, his heart hammering. "Ari—" he whispered reverently.
She held up a hand. "I'll go but no hanky panky. And I expect a corsage. I didn't get to go to my prom."
"Okay, but—"
"That's my offer. Take it or leave it."
"Taken," he said quickly. His words sunk in, really sunk in, and a feeling of rightness settled into his heart. "Completely taken." There was no going back now. He'd set them down a path that would hopefully lead them out of the darkness. If not, it might shatter them both.