There will always be moments in out lives when certain events shift the way things are for us on a normal day.
Thinking about the finality of it all- how in the moment someone can just vanish from your life in the blink of an eye, and just be gone forever.
Up close, it's too massive to even think about, let alone accept. What are you supposed to do when something like that happens? You can't possible just go on, and go back to normal.
Losing someone is hard.
Thoughts were swirling inside of me, while I tried to ignore the heartbeat getting louder in my head.
I just had to wait for moment, for a sign of life out here.
Rain was pouring down hard with each moment that passed. There was no one here to help even if they could.
My breathing was getting faster and I knew that if I didn't calm down I would pass out; but my heart felt like it was going to tear through my chest with as fast as it was beating.
This wasn't supposed to happen; this wasn't supposed to happen.
How could something change so quickly?
I shivered from the cold wind and rain that was piercing through my skin. I closed my eyes and the sound went away. The rain was gone and even the thoughts in my head were gone.
How did we get to this point?
I looked down at the ring on my finger, as a sob escaped my mouth
"Please come back!"
---
2 Weeks Earlier
I turned over to my side, watching Liam sleeping so peacefully. How was it possible that someone could be this handsome? I moved closer to him.
This was one of the first mornings where Darren's cries didn't wake us up. He had been sleeping much better, and we were beginning to make a nice morning routine.
"Quit staring" Liam muttered, making me giggle.
"How long have you been awake?"
He continued to keep his eyes shut "Just long enough to know that you're staring"
"I'm not are you doing?" he smirked.
"Admiring"
He opened his eyes and let out a yawn "Is Darren still asleep?"
I nodded "I checked on him about twenty minutes ago, and he's still asleep"
"I hope he keeps this up" Liam said, pulling me closer to him.
I brushed my lips against his "Is that so?"
He nodded and very smoothly and quickly put his hand on my waist and turned us over, so he was on top of me. "It's also been awhile for other certain things."
I lightly blushed "Liam, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting"
He leaned down, kissing my neck "What do you think"
My eyes rolled back, enjoying the feeling way too much "You're evil"
"Oh you love it" he said, letting his lips linger against me.
I smiled, suddenly feeling nervous. It had been a while since we'd been in this position and I felt like I was young and foolish once more.
Liam pulled away, but kept his face close to mine "Gracie, what's wrong?"
"What are you talking about?"
He slightly frowned "You've got goosebumps running up your arms"
"I guess I just feel nervous"
"Nervous?"
I nodded "I know that it's silly, but being in this position with you has me feeling giddy and nervous"
He chuckled "I can make you feel good too"
"I'm quite aware of that"
He kissed my neck once more and down to the top of my chest, before looking up at me "You're so beautiful"
"You still think so?"
He nodded and kissed my forehead "I love" he kissed my nose "every" he kissed my left cheek "single" he kissed the corner of my mouth "thing" he kissed my lips softly, letting them linger for a moment, before pulling away "about you"
I rested my hand on his shoulder, pulling him close "I can say the same about you"
He smiled went to kiss me once more, but a cry was heard from Darren't room. Liam groaned "The morning calls"
I kissed his cheek "Maybe when we put him down for a nap"
He nodded and rolled off of me.
I sat up and got out of bed, walking down the hall, into Darren's room, while I tightened my robe around me.
I smiled when I saw him standing up in his crib, reaching out to me when he saw me
"Hey, baby" I said, picking him up. He rested his head against me and started playing with a strand of my hair.
Liam walked in, smiling at Darren and I "Morning"
Darren waved his arms out to Liam and Liam took him from me, making me smile at how much like a family we were.
"So I was thinking maybe we could go to the park today" Liam suggested.
"Maybe" I said, getting the changing table ready.
Liam walked over to me, placing Darren on the table "Let me get that, babe"
"I'm going to go get his bottle ready while you do that"
I walked out of the room and went downstairs to the kitchen, letting Krueger outside before I prepared Darren's bottle.
Liam walked down the stairs with Darren in his arms "See, there's mummy" Liam placed Darren in his high chair. I handed Liam the bottle and he gave it to Darren who was happy to have it.
I got some orange juice from the fridge and poured both Liam and I a cup "Is he okay?"
Liam nodded "Yeah, but we might want to hold off on the park; he's got a bit of a fever"
"That's not good" I put my hand to Darren's forehead "We better keep an eye on him; do you think we should call the pediatrician?"
He shook his head "It's too early, he might just be warm" He walked over to the sink, preparing the coffee for the morning "Alright that's fine. Do you have to go into the studio today?"
I shook my head "Not until tomorrow"
Liam walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist "Have you thought anymore about what I said?"
I sighed, thinking about the previous night when we were laying in bed.
"I know you want some big wedding, but what if we had a small one, and then a big one later?" he asked.
I rested the back of my head against his chest "I know and the idea is tempting, but wouldn't it be difficult?"
He turned me around so I was facing him "What do you mean?"
"With Darren and all" I said, looking over at our son, hitting his palms on the highchair table.
"I'm sure your dad would love to babysit"
"You don't want him there?" I asked.
"Well we can have a preview of a honeymoon after wards" he said, leaning down and kissing my neck.
Damn this boy; he sure knew how to get to me.
"Liam" I said, my voice hitching.
He looked at me, smirking "Yes, my dear?"
"Quit being so cheeky"
He smiled "I'm serious though, just have a moment for us and then in a few months or even next year, we can renew the wedding vows with all our of friends and family with us"
I moved closer against him "So make it more intimate?"
He nodded, pressing a kiss to the corner of my mouth "Is that a yes?" He pulled away and looked at me intently "Well?"
I nodded, finding the idea fun and in all honesty, Liam and I could use a day to ourselves. He smiled and picked me up, making me laugh "Liam!"
He chuckled and put me back down "We're getting married?"
"Yes, we are getting married"
He pulled me close, pressing his palm on the small of my back, then leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.
Darren let out a laugh, making both Liam and I smile against each others lips.
"Are we going to go through with it this time?" he asked, smirking.
I hit his shoulder "Shut up!"
"Language" he said, pretending to scold me.
I laughed "My bad"
He walked closer to me, until my back was against the side of the counter "Let's do it the weekend after Darren turns ten months
"What? That's like two weeks away"
"It will just be us, so we're the only ones that have to worry about all the details"
I sighed "I have to find a dress, and there's other details that need to be dealt with"
He smiled "I'll work out the details, you just find a gorgeous dress" He kissed my forehead "I can't wait to see you in a wedding dress"
I smiled "Oh really? I might wear black though"
He leaned closer, until his lips were pressed against my ear "Black, white, red; I don't care what color you wear, just as long as I get to call you my wife, and get to see you out of it" he grinned "I bet you like the sound of that" he whispered.
I pushed him away "Darren's done"
He shook his head "Oh, you're dodging that subject aren't you?"
I took Darren out of the highchair "Only because you don't realize how much I want you"
He raised an eyebrow "Well I'll have you wanting more tonight"
I shook my head and handed Darren to Liam "Are we going to tell anyone?"
Liam started patting Darren's back "Do you want to tell anyone?"
I looked at him, thinking about it "No"
"No?"
I shook my head "It makes it more exciting, because it will be just between us"
"Then it's between us and if anyone asks, we just need a weekend to ourselves"
I walked over to him, kissing his cheek "Sounds like a plan"
He stared at me letting a small smile out.
"What?" I asked.
He shook his head "I just like the fact that somebody like you sees something in me"
I smiled "Liam, I love you. We've had many ups and downs, but if I have it my way, I plan on being with you until death"
He smiled 'Despite the morbid part of that, I fully agree and all I want is to spend the rest of my life with you"
Darren reached up, placing his hands on Liam's cheeks.
Liam and I both laughed, making Darren smile.
"I don't care what anyone says, this here is the dream and this is all I've ever wanted with you" Liam said, kissing the top of Darren's head.
I smiled "Once we're married, we'll have everything."
He nodded "Everything is all I ever wanted with you"
I leaned against the counter, watching the two, thankful for what I had right in front of me. I had what others dreamed of having and for that it made me happier. Not because others couldn't have it yet, but because out of every girl, it was me who he wanted this with.
He looked at me "What are you thinking about?"
"Our little family" I said.
He smiled "I'm thinking about you too, beautiful"
It doesn't matter how you plan it. It doesn't matter how you envision it. Without even knowing it, sometimes life has a way of finding exactly what you need. Or exactly who you need.