HANBIN
"Kim Hanbin, stop drinking. It will not make her come back to you, just so you know." Jinhwan hyung told me and snatched my glass. I took it back and drank it.
"Hyung. You're our leader. Our friend. Our brother. It pains us to see you like that." Donghyuk said and I finally stopped drinking. He's right.
"Why did you break up anyway?" Yunhyeong asked.
"I don't think that's a good question to ask right now." Junhoe said.
"I... I don't know too." I said. I wanna cry, but there's just no tears forming. I guess I'm too tired of everything, too tired to even cry.
"Hanbin. Jisoo told me that Jennie's been crying at night. She's also been working too much lately and that she's working on a sad song. You're both fucked up, why don't you two just go back to each other?" Bobby asked. I slammed the glass on the table.
"Aniyo! You don't understand it. I can't either. But I know that the both of us can't be on a relationship again. We're both having a hard time with our relationship. It's better off this way." I said.
"What do you mean it's better off this way? You've been drinking all the time! It's unhealthy! Even our managers can't stop you anymore! Do you want YG sajangnim to postpone our comeback?" Jinhwan shouted. I looked at Chanwoo who's just watching on the side, he probably don't know what to say or do.
"I'm so sorry. I'm a bad leader. I'm so sorry." I said and this time, I finally cried. Jinhwan hyung hugged me and the others patted my back.
"I'm such a bad leader, I don't even deserve the position, I don't even deserve you guys." I broke down. I was shocked (and I bet everybody was) when Jiwon hyung pulled my collar and lifted me up, making me stand.
"Yah, Kim Hanbin! Wake up! This is not like you! What do you mean you don't deserve us? You deserve every fucking thing you have now. Yeah, you deserve this pain, because it's your decision to let her go. But you shouldn't let that pain destroy you! If you need strength, you have us! Not all this alcohol." Jiwon hyung let go of me and pushed all the alcohol away, causing them to break and spill.
"Fix yourself, Hanbin! You're our leader, if you don't know what to do, we don't know too. If you break down, we break down too." Jiwon hyung hugged me and I felt tears on my shoulders.
"Hyung..." I mumbled, shocked.
Suddenly, Jinhwan hyung hugged me too. Jinhwan hyung is a crybaby, and he's crying out loud now. I was shocked to see the others crying too. They rarely cry in front of everyone...
I feel so sorry. I made my members cry. But I feel happy, I feel loved. It's been a while since I did.
----
I woke up early the next day, like about 5am. I went to my manager, Yun Hyuk hyung, and woke him up.
"Hyung..." I pushed him back and forth.
"Waeyo?" He asked, eyes still closed.
"Please help me cook breakfast for the others." I said. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at me.
"Mwo?!"
---
"Are you the real Kim Hanbin? Why the heck would you want to cook?" He asked.
"Wae? Is it wrong for a loving brother to cook for his brothers?" I asked, bringing eggs and bacon to the counter.
"It's not but if it's Kim Hanbin, it's weird."
"The others talked to me yesterday. We cried and stuff. I feel guilty. I'm gonna go to the studio later. I don't wanna sulk forever and burden my group." I said, cracking the eggs.
"It's nice to see you in yourself again." Yunhyuk hyung said, smiling.
"I'm sorry too, hyung." I looked at him and smiled, an apologetic one.
"Hurry up and let's cook breakfast already." He said and turned his back, but I know he's tearing up.
Such a good manager.
---
"Omo omo omo! Hanbin hyung? You're cooking breakfast?" Donghyuk said out loud, obviously shocked.
"Yeah. What's so shocking huh?" I asked and continued cooking the bacon, trying not to burn it.
"GUYS! WAKE UP! OUR LEADER IS MAKING BREAKFAST FOR US!" Donghyuk shouted.
"Mwo? Jinjja?" Jinani hyung looked out on the door of his room with a toothbrush on his mouth.
"I'll wake up the others." Donghyuk said and left.
"Yah! Why did you let him cook! Is the kitchen burning already?!" I heard Bobby scream as he run to the kitchen, only wearing boxers.
"Just shut up and fix yourself. We're having breakfast soon." I said and turned off the stove when I finished cooking. Now I'll just wait for the rice.
They all gathered around the table. It's just 5:20 am. We don't really wake up this early unless we have an early schedule but thinking that they woke up this early just to taste my cooking is really touching. I love my group so much.
We said our prayers and now we're getting our food.
"Woah Hanbin hyung actually cooked these decently." Chanwoo said after tasting the food.
"Of course I did." I said boastfully.
"Hanbinnie, saranghae." Bobby hyung said with a sincere smile.
"Huh?" I asked, shocked.
"Same here, hyung. Saranghae." Chanwoo said and did a failed aegyo.
"Saranghae hyung!" Donghyuk said and gave me a heart.
"Saranghae Kim Hanbin!" Jinhwan said and gave me a finger heart with his usual wink.
"Saranghae B.I!" Yunhyeong said and messed my hair up.
"Say it, Koo Junhoe." Jinhwan hyung said and I looked at Junhoe, smiling while waiting. Junhoe looked so dissatisfied.
"Fine. Saranghae hyung." Junhoe said and we laughed.
"I love you more, guys." I said, trying my best not to tear up.
Now I realized that I don't need Jennie's love. I just need them. iKON and iKONIC's love.
---
"Hyung? You sure you can go now? I mean you may see Jennie there, you know." Donghyuk asked.
"I can. Yesterday you guys were telling me to work again—" I didn't finish what I'm gonna say when Bobby spoke.
"We just said that you should stop drinking but we didn't say that you should work again. We'll having our comeback next year, we already have enough songs. You don't have to compose and compose again and again." Bobby hyung scolded me.
"It's fine. I have new experiences and I guess I'll put them into song." I said.
I went to my room and took a bath. I was shocked when the door opened.
"Omo! You scared me, hyung." I said when Bobby hyung came in.
"I'm gonna take a bath too. They won't let me take a bath with them, seriously." He said.
"Why are you all taking a bath this early? Do you have somewhere to go?" I asked. It's just 6am and our meeting with the choreographer is later afternoon.
"Yeah. We're all going to the studio. Blackpink is there too. But don't get me wrong. I'm going to meet Jisoo there, Jinhwan hyung will meet up with Lisa, and the others will practice. We're not going there for you, araseo?" Bobby hyung said while scrubbing himself.
"Thanks, hyung." I said and smiled at him.
"What do you mean? And why are you looking at me? Do you have interest at me?" He joked. I just laughed.
---
We all went to the YG building. We went to the practice studio. As soon as we went to the floor of our studio, we encountered Blackpink.
Shit.
"Oh, annyeong!" Jisoo said and the others greeted us too, and we greeted them back. Lisa clung to Jinhwan's arm immediately. These two lovers, seriously.
"It's been a while since you came here. It's nice to see you again." Jennie said to us, but I think she's particularly saying it to me, because she looked at me as she said that.
"Uh, yeah." I said hesitantly.
"I heard from Jiwon oppa that your schedule is later afternoon. What are you doing here now?" Jisoo asked.
"We're gonna practice." Yunhyeong just said.
"Do you seriously know everything about Bobby?" Jinhwan asked. He's lucky that his girlfriend is not that strict on him.
"Not really everything but yeah." Bobby hyung admitted.
"Why don't you try being as sweet as him, huh?" Lisa asked Jinhwan.
"Pfft. Do you have anything to do? Shall we go date?" Jinhwan hyung asked Lisa and hugged her waist. I looked away. These love birds are hurting my eyes.
"Just go away already!" Junhoe scolded them for being too sweet. They just laughed and went away.
"Then we'll go too." Bobby hyung said and left.
"If you two are gonna go on a date too, please go now." Donghyuk said to Rosé and Junhoe. They're not really in a relationship but they have mutual feelings.
"What?" Rosé asked but Junhoe just pulled her.
"So do you guys want to talk or nah? If you don't want, we'll go now. You can join us in our practice room, Jennie ssi." Yunhyeong hyung asked.
I really, really want to talk to her. I really want her back. I really want to know why we broke up.
"Aniyo. I'm fine. And Mino oppa asked me to eat with him. I asked him for some advice on how to make good songs." Jennie said.
"I'm a composer too, why didn't you ask me instead?" I suddenly said. The guys looked at me.
"Never mind. We'll go now." I said and just went away.
I really want her back. But it looks like she doesn't want me back, so what's the point?
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Woah, I don't know why but I actually cried while making the first part, lol.
Date: October 26 2017 :)