1000 Ways To Die When You're...

By Hermazing

2.5K 218 121

Haha, let's watch Fletcher die in a number of unusual and amusing accidents. Just some oneshots, some of whic... More

Chapter 1: Button
Chapter 2: Hole
Chapter 3: Idea
Chapter 4: Clothes
Chapter 5: Stew
Chapter 6: Hair
Chapter 7: Decapitated
Chapter 8: Spoons
Chapter 9: Bread
Chapter 10: Drowned
Chapter 11: Accidental Autodefenestration
Chapter 12: Defenestrated
Chapter 13: Squashed
Chapter 14: Impaled
Chapter 15: Wall of Spikes
Chapter 16: Wood Chipper
Chapter 17: Poisoned
Chapter 18: Rhino
Chapter 19: The Most Powerful Chair
Chapter 20: Water Wheel
Chapter 21: Childbirth
Chapter 23: Broken Heart
Chapter 24: Roadkill
Chapter 25: Legolas' Feet
Chapter 26: Conducter
Chapter 27: Electric Chair
Chapter 28: Serpine
Chapter 29: Rapping
Chapter 30: Tuba

Chapter 22: Stake

57 8 1
By Hermazing

"Are you sure this time machine isn't plugged in, Skulduggery?"

"Yes. Probably. I'm 60 percent sure. Well, fifty-fifty. In you get."

Fletcher stepped nervously into the large cubicle-like box. Skulduggery smiled with his facade, and pressed a button.
Suddenly lights lit up all around Fletcher, and a door closed over the entrance. The circular walls began to spin sickeningly fast around him, and a loud whirring noise starting up in the belly of the box, growing louder and louder.

"Skulduggery?" Fletcher yelled over the sound. "What's happening?!"

"Oh, just a small experiment of mine," Skulduggery said casually, looking happy that the machine was working. "Sorry for that little bit of lying to get you in."

"What?!?" Fletcher practically screamed, banging against the sides of the rotating box. "Get me out!!"

"No can do, Renn," Skulduggery shook his head. "Have fun wherever you're going."

There was a flash of blinding light, and with an ear splitting POP, Fletcher disappeared in a puff of smoke.

The young teleporter appeared in a dusty village, in a clearing from the houses and next to a large wooden sign that read:

'You are now entering Salem'.

"Oh, balls..." Fletcher sighed.

"Eeeek!" Shrieked an old woman from across the street, pointing at him. "That young man just appeared out of nowhere! Witch!"

"Witch! He's a witch!"

"Witch witch witch! Burn him! Burn the witch!"

Shouts came from all around Fletcher. He made a mental note to beat Skulduggery's arse in the afterlife.

***

"We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Fletcher Renn, the last teleporter. If only he hadn't been thwarted by Mr. Pleasant and accidentally teleported back in time to 16th century Salem, and burnt at the stake for witchcraft..."

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