Hey everyone,so sorry for such a late update! I was swamped with work today and incredibly stressed out. but here it is!
Summary: the one where Emery is simply done.
TWENTY-ONE
I checked everywhere.
She wasn't at the park near my house where I had run into her late one night
Or the Sunrise diner where I knew he mother worked.
Not even Barks N' Recreation's; I scoured the whole complex.
I had even stopped by her house, but no one was home.
I simply couldn't find Violet.
A heavy weight had settled in my stomach, pulling me down, filling me with dread. There was no sign of her, but I had one last place to check. I was hopeful as I ran through the main street of Shorecliff that I would find Violet nestled in a corner at The Lost Book Shop with a hot coffee in her hand and a tattered book. She would look up and smile at me and everything would be right in the world again. She would tell me what happened, and I would laugh at myself for being so crazy. But, that didn't happen.
I ran into the bookshop and scanned the whole cafe. Nothing. Deeper into the shop I went. Every nook and cranny, empty. She was nowhere. I checked twice, thinking maybe I missed her the first time. And then I checked again desperately. I turned up empty handed once again.
Violet was nowhere to be found. And I was out of options. She wasn't anywhere I thought she would be or could be, she was simply just gone.
I heaved a heavy sigh and started to leave the bookshop when a familiar face walked through the front door. The bell above the door went off and in strutted Sawyer. She pushed her sunglasses up on her head and scanned the area in front of her. I ducked behind a shelf of books and watched from afar. She moved gracefully across the floor, each stride purposeful and confident. I watched in panic as she talked to the barista, barely making out the words even though I was close to the counter.
"Have...seen a...brown hair...beautiful...comes here oft..." Sawyer asked the barista, who nodded.
"She went..." The barista gestured behind him. Sawyer smiled and sauntered off to the back of the store and right passed my hiding spot. I exhaled a breath I didn't realize I had been holding onto. Immediately, I bolted from the bookshop not wanting to be seen by Sawyer. I didn't stop running until I reached the end of the boardwalk.
I wanted nothing to do with her, I thought I had made that clear. It had been weeks since I had seen her, it seemed like we were a thing of a past and she had understood that. Apparently, she wanted to try again. And to go to my safe haven, of all places, I thought angrily. She knew how sacred the bookshop was to me. It was my happy place, it wasn't to be infringed upon. But, there Sawyer went, infecting it with her arrogance and tainted memories of us. I never thought she would stoop so low as to seek me out in the places I loved to go. It was a new low, even for Sawyer. She certainly wasn't taking our break up with grace or any semblance of acceptance. But, then again, Sawyer was never one to give up on what she wanted. That used to be the biggest characteristic of hers that I loved, now it was the pain in my butt. I wanted her gone, why couldn't she stay gone? If only her and Violet would switch places in that aspect, I thought ruefully.
I stood at the edge of the pier leaning on the railing, looking out at the ocean, watching the sunlight reflect off the rippling waves. I tried to calm my heart as it hammered intensely against my chest. Anxiously, I pondered why Sawyer would want to talk to me and where on Earth Violet could be.
There weren't many places she could hide, not that I could think of any way. All the places that Violet would be comfortable going to were severely lacking in her presence. The only place left to really look was the beach, but it was a long stretch of sand that would take hours, and who knows if I would be going in the right direction. I turned my gaze to the beach, considering going down there to hunt for Violet, but I didn't have to ponder much longer.
The beach was mostly deserted since summer had long ago ended. In the distance, I could see a figure sitting in the sand, fiery locks whipping in the wind. I knew, without a doubt in my mind, that it was Violet. Her hair was unmistakable, and I felt that pull toward her. The pull that started this all. It was her.
I backtracked down the pier and found the stairs that led down onto the sand. Quickly, I made my way down the rickety wooden stairs and onto the beach. The sand slid into my sneakers as I ran, but I didn't care. I found her. The anger I felt toward her for leaving me after the storm was gone, my disappointment in myself faded, and Sawyer was another distant memory. I found her, that was all that was running through my mind.
As I approached, I slowed my pace. Violet was tucked into herself, holding her knees to her chest, her chin resting on her knee caps. When I got right next to her, I could hear the sniffles coming from her; I dropped down to the sand next to her. She wiped at her face.
"What do you want, Emery?" She asked coldly continuing to stare straight ahead.
"I've been worried about you," I answered honestly. "You haven't been at school in a week."
"How astute of you." I faced her, irritation evident on my face.
"Oh, so it's going to be like this, Violet?"
"I'm not being like anything, you're the one invading my personal space," She bit back.
"Seriously? I was concerned something happened, excuse me for caring."
"I don't need your pity."
"Why do you always do that? Reverting back to your old self with me? You're going to act like a brat and treat me like crap, for what reason?" I said to her. "God, you're so infuriating. All I have ever done is be nice to you, try to be your friend, and the one time it gets too real for you, you run. Is that all you know how to do? Run and hide? Cause I'm sick of it." I pulled my knees into myself, trying to keep everything together. Breathe, I kept telling myself. "I care about you, Violet. I have been running around this whole area looking for you. I checked everywhere, because I was worried about you. And...and I missed you. I don't know what I did wrong that night, I don't know what made you run, but I'm sorry, okay?"
We sat silently watching the ocean ebb and flow. The sun slowly beginning it's descent into the horizon, basking the world around us in a fiery glow, much like Violet's hair. With every breeze that came, the smell of the ocean and a scent that I can only describe as distinctly Violet assaulted my nose. She remained statuesque, and I began to realize that she probably wasn't going to speak to me at all now. My heart sunk.
"I'll just leave you alone then," I said after what felt like an eternity of silence. "Goodbye, Violet." I stood and began the walk back toward the pier, a heat spreading across my face, embarrassed tears prickling behind my eyes. It was silly of me to think that I could get her to talk to me, to open up to me. I should've known better than to think we were actually friends, that there could a slim chance Violet would share the feelings I felt toward her. It was foolish, I was foolish to believe that this would have turned out differently. Violet didn't want friends and she apparently didn't want me.
My feet had just landed on the stairs back up to the pier when I heard a voice call from behind me. I was hesitant to turn around to check it out, but the voice called out again, clearer this time.
"Emery, wait!" Violet had chased after me. She appeared breathless in front of me. "I-I...damn it," She wheezed. "Sand is so hard to run on."
"Violet, what are you doing?" She held her finger up to me as she bent over to catch her breath.
"I'm sorry," She muttered between wheezes. "Can we talk somewhere else?"
"Oh, so now you want to talk," I quipped crossing my arms over my chest. Violet stepped closer, a pleading look in her eyes.
"Please, don't make this harder than it is, Emery." Her typically cold green eyes were bright and soft, gazing at me directly. "Please."
"Fine," I caved. "Come on, my car is down the street."
***
As we approached my house, I saw my mother's car and cursed under my breath. "I wasn't expecting her to be home," I said.
"Who?"
"My mom," I groaned as I parked the car and climbed out, Violet followed suite.
"I'm assuming that's a bad thing."
"Well, that depends," I said as I opened the front door.
"On what?" Violet asked, but before she could answer my mom shouted from the kitchen.
"Emery Elizabeth Davis!" I shrank back at the sound of my full name. "Come here right this instant."
"I'll be right back," I whispered awkwardly before skittering into the kitchen. My mom was sitting at the kitchen table, her hair pulled back in a tight bun on the top of her head. Her legs were crossed, her hands clasped together on the top of the table. The pager for the hospital sat beside her hands. My eyes landed on my failed test that was laying flat in front of my mom. "Hi, mom."
"Don't," Her eyes narrowed at me. "Care to explain this grade, Emery?"
"Oh, um..." I mumbled nervously rocking back and forth on my feet. "You see, I...um..."
"I am not shocked," She said, "You were always the black sheep of the family. Charlie, she is brilliant, driven, motivated. She doesn't let anything get in the way of her success. She is exactly what you should be. I thought having identical twins would mean you would be equally intelligent. But, apparently, Charlie got those genes, huh?" I ducked my head in shame. "Look at me when I am talking to you, Emery! You cannot expect me to sit back and watch you destroy your life. What happened to you, Emery? You were just as driven as your sister last year, what changed?"
I glared at my mother, "Do you really want to know what changed, mother? I'll tell you what happened. I came home one day to you and dad talking in his office. I wanted to tell you both the news that I had gotten straight A's again, boasting my GPA to being the same as Charlie's, like I knew I could. And do you want to know what I heard you and dad talking about? Care to take a guess?" I was shouting at my mother, angry tears rolling down my face as I confronted her. "You two were talking about how much of a failure I was. You were going on about how unintelligent I was, how you wished Charlie was your only child because she was just so perfect. Do you remember that? I do. I hear those words every day in my head. Imagine, hearing your parents talk about how they wish you didn't exist. That your twin was so insanely great at everything she did, that you didn't even matter.
"I have done nothing but try to please you my whole life. I have spent every waking minute of my existence since then trying to prove to you that I was worth having as a daughter too. All you ever saw was failure."
"Emery, dear, calm down," She tried to soothe me, but I was picking up speed. I graduated from a tropical storm to a hurricane, and it was only going to get worse from here.
"No! You have been dictating my life from day one, and I am sick of it, mom!" I stepped toward her. "What classes I take, what job I should have, who I date, everything! It's always been about you."
"And you're better for it! Those classes pushed you harder and made you smarter. And Sawyer, she is great for you," She said wistfully. "So intelligent and motivated, she will take you places with her. She is honestly the best thing about you. She makes you better."
"Then I bet this will just make me more of a failure in your eyes then."
"What, Emery?" She looked at me exasperatedly.
"We broke up."
"What on earth did you do to make such an amazing girl break up with you? You have to go win her back, Emery. She had such a positive influence on you!"
I laughed bitterly. "I like that you assume that I messed up. She cheated on me. So I dumped her."
"Well, you clearly drove her away, dear. Sawyer must have just found someone better. It's a pity. I can't imagine you finding anyone as good as her who could love you," She commented offhandedly.
"I knew you'd find some way to turn this on me," I wiped my face free of tears. "I will never please you. I don't even understand how Charlie is still trying to. There is no possible way to make you happy; to make you proud." I turned around and left the kitchen. My mother's heels clacking against the tile as she followed me. Violet wasn't in the living room where I left her. For a moment I panicked that she left, but when I peered up the stairs I saw her sitting at the top waiting for me.
"Emery, don't you dare walk away from me, we are not done talking about this."
"What is there left to talk about, mom?" I yelled.
"I just want you to succeed. It's tough out in the real world, and you will thank me for all the pressure later. I promise you that."
"Yeah? I'm positive I will not be thanking you for crap."
"You shouldn't talk to your mother like this, dear," She said through clenched teeth. Her eyes were ablaze with anger.
"And you shouldn't treat your daughters like this." I stood resolute in my spot, arms crossed defiantly. My mother sighed heavily, rubbing her face. She opened her mouth to speak again but the pager in her hand went off.
"We're not done talking, Emery," She said gathering her work bag from the hall closet.
"Whatever, go be someone else's hero," I said bitterly and turned racing up the stairs. I snagged Violet's hand as I paced and pulled her into my room, slamming the door shut. Violet backed herself up, giving me room to breathe. My chest was heaving up and down as I struggled to regulate my breathing. I kept pacing across the floor, my hands balling into tense fists angrily. Everything was red. I was livid. I couldn't believe the nerve of my mother, all the things she said. I wanted to scream. I did scream. But, the most shocking thing of the evening was that Violet stayed. She stayed and she was here. And all the emotions from the past week hit me like a tidal wave. It all rushed up and bubbled over pouring out of my eyes.
A strangled sob ripped its way out of me and I crumbled, but I didn't feel the pain from hitting the floor. Instead, I felt arms wrapping around me and a body cushioning my fall. Looking up through teary eyes I found her green ones gently staring back at me, concern etched across her face. And, for the first time since I met Violet, she wasn't helping me up off the ground after I broke down. No...she was holding me as I fell apart.
Something changed between us in that moment. No longer were we holding ourselves to this impossible standard of keeping our emotions in check. We were both vulnerable; our guards were down as I clung to her and she held me close.
I let her see me at my weakest.
And, for once, Violet stayed.
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Next update: Monday 10/30
There will be much more interaction between the girls in the following chapters.