Tempest awoke with a start, pillow wet and her eyes puffy with sorrow. The nightmares had roused her from her shallow slumber yet again. The sky was still a warm gray with a faint tinge of pale yellow on the horizon, where the navy blue waters met the sky.
She rolled over, tugging the covers back over her head, begging sleep to come and embrace her once more. When sleep eluded her, she sighed and clambered out of bed, the early morning chill clinging to her like a second skin.
She threw on a navy blue hoodie and left the cabin, heading towards the cliff.
Clad in only her pajamas and her hoodie, she crossed the cold, wet sand in her bare feet, heading towards her cliff.
Her hazel eyes ringed with green scanned the area, taking in the tumbling blue ocean waves crowned with whitecaps that smashed against the shore. Seagulls screeched overhead and the air smelled of salt as she hiked up her cliff.
The fine sand of the shore gave away to coarse grass, then to slabs of slate gray rock that overlooked the stormy waters.
She walked straight to the edge and looked down at the water, stomach flipping. She leaned forward just a little, before closing her eyes and stepping back. There was no way she was ever going to be brave enough to step off the edge.
She sat down and crossed her legs, staring at the horizon as the sun slowly heaved itself above the ocean. However, the sunshine could not slip through the clouds that covered the entire sky like a grey blanket. The only time Tempest could see the sun was at dawn and when the sun set.
Gulls shrieked overhead and the repeated crash of the waves against the cliff began to lull her to sleep. She curled her knees to her chest and laid her head down, eyes drifting closed. Sleep finally embraced her atop her cliff, the smell of salt weaving itself into her hair and the crashing of the waves fading away.
******************
Tears welled in my eyes as I listened to the Remembrance day service in the darkened theater at my school. However, the darkness could not conceal the sorrow in my friend's blue eyes as he too listened to the service. My heart broke, because his sorrow ran deeper then my own in that moment.
I reached out and placed my hand atop his thigh, stroking my thumb back and forth. I caught his eyes and smiled gently, silently vowing that I would always be there for him.
I turned my attention back to the stage, the movement of my thumb bringing me comfort. I watched my friend out of the corner of my eye, and when he swallowed, eyes shining, I placed my hand on top of his, silently asking. He took my hand, his dwarfing my much smaller one as we sat in the theater, drawing strength from each other. I gazed around, making sure that all my other friends were okay.
One caught my eye and mouthed,"Is he okay?" I shook my head, and she leaned forward and patted his shoulder, silently letting him know he was loved and not alone. He smiled at the gesture, and I laid my head on his shoulder, also promising he was not alone. As the service ended and we stood to leave, I squeezed his hand and whispered,"You don't have to do this alone," before letting go and following everyone else out of the theater.
***********
Tempest slowly cracked open her eyes, the dream clinging to her mind. Why did she dream about this? Understanding dawned in her eyes as she realized that when the girl in the dream spoke about not having to do this alone, she was talking about her friend as well as herself.
Tempest stood up and walked along the shore, lost in thought. The girl in the dream reminded her of someone, but she couldn't place her finger on where she had seen the girl before.
She walked along the shore until the sun dipped into the water, a darkness spreading across the ocean. Tempest turned and walked back to the cabin. As much as she tried, she could not bring herself to call the cabin home.
She nudged the wooden door open and stepped inside. She peeled off the hoodie and changed out of her sandy pajamas.
She then wandered into the kitchen, unsure of the last time she had eaten. She scrunched her brow as she peered into the fridge, wondering what to eat.
Slowly, she pulled out fresh mushrooms, onions and peppers and then eggs and cheese. She placed everything on the cutting board and pulled out a frying pan from the lower cabinet.
She chopped the vegetables and threw the in the pan with some butter. She placed the pan on the stove, and soon the smell of sautéed mushrooms and onions filled the cabin.
As the vegetables simmered in the pan, she sprinkled in salt and pepper. She threw grated cheese and cracked the eggs and scrambled everything together.
She pulled a plate out of the upper cabinets and dumped her food on the plate and left the kitchen. She sat on her bed and shoveled the food in her mouth, surprised when her mouth watered.
As she finished, she laid down on her bed and stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.
What had the dream earlier ment? The words the girl had spoken danced in her head.
"You don't have to do this alone." Tempest murmured the words aloud. They flowed out of her mouth like water, like she had said them many times before. Her eyes then began to drift close, as sleep took over.
************
My heart pounded in my chest as tears welled in my eyes. I furiously blinked them away. Not here, not now! I glanced around the table at my friends smiling faces at the card game we had been playing. As they began to set up the next round, I pulled out my phone and texted my mom.
Mommy, I'm having a hard time again.
In what way? What's going on?
I don't know! I feel like I'm going to cry. What do I do?
Do you know what you need from me?
No.
Can you talk to Megan or Terry? Do you need me to come get you?
Not right now, but maybe if it gets worse.
Ok, just let me know. I'll be praying for you.
Ok, thank you.
I put my phone down and looked around, begging them to see my pain, to see the tears in my eyes and to come and hold me and tell me that I'm going to be okay.
A tear slipped down my cheek as I pushed away from the table and headed to the washroom.
A sob escaped as I looked at myself in the mirror, taking in my red rimmed eyes and the salty tears running down my pink cheeks.
I turned and locked myself in a stall, pressing a hand to mouth to stifle the sobs. I pulled out my phone and began texting my mom.
Mommy, it hurts.
What hurts, honey?
I'm crying in a bathroom stall and no one notices.
Oh honey. I know people care. Do they know it's you?
I then heard footsteps pound up the stairs, so I came out of the stall, dried my eyes and stepped out of the washroom.
I spotted my friends at the end of the hallway, standing by the stairs. I walked towards them and sat on the steps.
"There she is," he said. I looked up, hands clutching my phone. He must have seen the pain in my eyes, as he walked over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder as he crouched awkwardly next to me.
"I don't want to ruin your evening," I mumbled.
His arm tightened around my shoulders as he said," Seeing you happy makes me happy."
My other two friends came and sat with us. I concentrated on his arm around me and my friend's chatter about random things, trying to keep the sadness at bay.
I stood and moved out of the way as a group of guys pounded down the stairs. I expected his arm to fall away, but it came back and settled itself on my shoulders again.
We stayed like that until we were called upstairs for the movie. I mindlessly followed my friends to the room and settled myself on the couch. He allowed me to rest my head on his shoulder, until he was called to get his pizza. As he left, another friend wrapped her arm around my shoulder.
I told them about my eating problem and the losing weight until it was our turn for pizza.
I choked down three slices, not knowing when I would be able to eat this much again.
As I finished, he took my empty cup and plate and wrapped his arm back around my shoulders again. I knew he wouldn't move his arm until the end of the movie, and I didn't want him to become uncomfortable, so I moved his arm and intertwined his fingers with my much smaller ones. And we stayed like that for the whole movie, only letting go to stretch out our fingers and his fingers always wrapped back around mine.
As the movie ended and as we left, I felt much better, because I knew my friends loved me and they would be there no matter what, always ready to offer a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold.