“Why are you wearing that t-shirt anyway?” Cassie asked from her place on my bed.
I looked over at her and clicked my tongue.
She pouted. “I was only saying.”
“I happen to like this t-shirt,” I said, grabbing a fistful of my newly acquired ‘Haunted Vegas’ tee in my hand. “Why, isn’t it on trend?”
Cassie sat up and threw her nail file at me. It landed on the bean bag I was lounging on and I gave her a smug smile.
I loved my bean bag. True, it was a little bit worn and it was going saggy in some places. And it still smelled like it did when I brought it from a garage sale two years ago; moth balls and cigarette smoke. But I loved the colour. Violet. The exact same colour of the bracelet Sonny wore everywhere. Note to self; Must buy something violet to wear.
“Oi!”
I looked up from where I’d been staring at the fabric of the bean bag, to see Cassie pouting again. I raised my eyebrows at her.
“Throw me my nail file. I need to finish my pinkie,” she said.
“No.” I picked her nail file up and twirled it in my fingers. “You shouldn’t have thrown it at me.”
“You were being mean!”
“I wasn’t,” I said.
Cassie’s blue eyes darkened and I got the feeling I get whenever I know she’s going to go off on one. I tossed her the nail file. Her expression lightened instantly.
“So who is Aiden Jackson anyway?”
I couldn’t help telling Cassie about the new seating plan in English. I wasn’t planning on telling her that I used to sit next to Lara though; I didn’t want my room trashed by one of her hissy fits.
“Besides a pervert,” she added.
I laughed. “I don’t think he was checking out my chest. I believe the whole t-shirt thing.”
“You’re too trusting,” Cassie said. “I mean, he’s a teenage guy.”
“I know. But not all teenage guys are the same…”
“…is he the one with the bucktooth?” Cassie interrupted.
I shook my head. “No, that’s Maurice Jackson.”
“Aiden’s brother?”
“No. They just have the same last name.”
Cassie nodded, a blank expression on her face. “Oh.”
I was about to lose the battle to keep a straight face when there was a knock on my bedroom door. Two seconds later, Leanne appeared over the threshold. Her eyes fell on me first, before they found Cassie, sprawled on my bed.
“How was the gig?” I asked. She’d got in late last night and she’d gone to work by the time I’d gotten ready for college this morning.
She beamed. “It was awesome thanks. Roz reckons there was someone from LZ magazine there, but I didn’t see anyone who looked like a journalist.”
I couldn’t help grinning back at her. “That’s amazing!”
“I know, right? Sonny says it’s the best I’ve sang in ages.”
My breathing faltered at the sound of Sonny’s name. “What did Roz and Warren think?”
“They had a ball.” She rested a hand on her hip. “Actually, I don’t think they had a single argument.”
I smiled. “Roz and Warren not fighting? What’s next? World peace?”
Leanne laughed. “Yeah right. It was like we finally bonded like a proper band last night. I haven’t been this excited about a gig since we first started out two years ago.” Her eyes glazed over slightly and I could tell that she was deep in thought. “Imagine if ‘The Dead Atlantic’ had never formed? The world would be a different place.”
“You would have stayed in college, for one.”
Leanne tutted. “You know education isn’t my think, Harri. You’re the brain box of the family.”
I nodded. She was right. “It’s a shame Clark quit though.”
Leanne’s gleeful expression clouded over. “Yeah, well it’s his loss.”
“You’ll find a new bassist soon,” I said.
“Sonny’s brother’s mate played bass for us last night,” Leanne said, her features lifting again. “He’s wicked good. We’re thinking of asking him to join the band permanently.”
I was about to ask who he was when Cassie decided she wanted in on the conversation.
“Is he hot?”
Leanne glanced at Cassie with a withering look, but Cassie appeared not to notice.
“Uh, I don’t know. He’s two years younger than me.” Leanne’s eyeliner heavy eyes landed on me and I read the words she always used to describe Cassie in them; ‘Is she for real?’
I shrugged in response.
Five minutes later, Leanne had made a quick exit and Cassie was back to talking about nothing in particular.
“I can’t decide if I want a blue gem next or a pink one. What do you think?”
I peered up from where I’d been playing with a thread on my jeans and shrugged.
Cassie jutted out her lower lip. “Well you’re helpful!”
I sat up straight and sighed. “It’s not even worth thinking about yet. You can’t take it out for at least six months. That’s what the guy at the shop said.”
“Six months!” Cassie fell backwards onto my bed dramatically. “That’s ages.”
“Do you want it to get infected and start leaking pus everywhere?”
Cassie screwed up her face and waved her hands at me. “Eww! Shut up!”
“I’m just saying.”
“God, Harriet. Why do you always have to be little miss sensible?”
I laughed. “Because in this friendship, you give me no choice but to be the adult.”
Cassie seemed to momentarily forget about the dampener I’d just put on her belly button dilemma and smiled. “It’s nice to know how much you love me.”
I got up from the bean bag and flopped down next to her on my bed. “I do love you.”
“Well then.” I felt her sit up beside me. “You’ll take my advice.”
I squinted up at her from beneath my fringe. I really do need a haircut. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She cocked an eyebrow at me and tapped her bottom lip with her nail file. “It means you should trust me.”
I sat bolt upright. “Trust you?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I know what’s best for you.”
I scoffed. “And what are you referring to exactly?” My room was silent for a moment, save the ticking of the clock above my desk. “Well?”
“Don’t get mad at me. Promise?”
“What have you done now?”
Cassie frowned. “Nothing. God, H. You always assume I’ve done something.”
“Only when you’re asking me not to get mad at you. You’ve been talking in riddles for the past five minutes. I mean, seriously. You keep telling me to trust you.”
“Yeah. I want you to listen to what I have to say.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “Well?”
She seemed to hesitate for a moment. “I just think you should give Brandon a chance.”
“Really? You’re actually going to go there?”
Cassie nodded and her hair bounced around her shoulders. “I think it’s time you give love another go.”
Oh no she didn’t.
“You need to forget about what happened between you and Carter. That was three months ago.”
My hand hit my forehead with a slapping sound. “How many times do I need to tell you, Cass? The break-up was mutual.”
“Oh, yeah? Then why don’t you talk anymore?”
“Because he moved to Scotland, remember? That was why we broke up. Neither of us thought a long distance relationship would work.”
Memories of the night Carter had invited me over to his house so we could talk things through, came flooding back. The way he’d taken my hands in his and told me he was moving. That it would be for the best. Out of the three relationships that I’d been in, the one with Carter had lasted the longest and had meant the most, but I’d moved on.
I shook my head. “Seriously, Cassie. I’m over him.”
“Are you sure? I just figured you weren’t giving Brandon the time of day because you were still in love with Carter.”
“No. I’m not going on a date with Brandon because I don’t like him. He’s not my type.”
Cassie’s expression suddenly clouded. “Oh, and Sonny is?”
I immediately felt my face flushing.
Cassie rolled her eyes. “Seriously, H. I know you like him. You go all quiet when he’s over and you say stupid things.”
“I do not.”
“Oh yeah? Then why did you tell him that cheese makes you burp?”
My cheeks burned. “I did not!”
“Yes you did and if I hadn’t pulled you out of the room then you would have probably gone on to tell him that you crave peanut butter when you’re on your period.”
I screwed up my eyes. “Shut up, now.”
“I’m just saying. You have it bad for that guy. I’m a little hurt you didn’t confess that to me yourself actually.”
I opened my eyes and glared at her. “You would have told me I was an idiot for liking someone who’s into rock.”
Cassie’s mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”
“You heard. You’re always telling me that emo’s are weird looking. I think you called them ‘gross’.”
“So? You could have still told me.” A hurt expression flashed across her face before she slammed her eyes at me and looked away.
Silence followed as both of us simmered over the sort of argument before, like always, I was the first to make a move.
“I’m sorry if I upset you, Cass. I just didn’t want to tell you in case you made fun of me.” I set my eyes on the back of her head and waited for her to turn back around. It didn’t take long.
“And I’m sorry if I upset you, H. I don’t want you to think that you can’t tell me things because I might not like what you have to say.” Her eyes were watering and her bottom lip was quivering.
My gut wrenched. “Come here.” I held out my arms and she was hugging me back in an instant.
“So what are you going to do about it then?”
I let her go. “What am I going to do about what?”
She smiled. Her mood swings never ceased to amaze me. “You know. You liking…”
At the sound of footsteps on the stairs, I shoved my hand over Cassie’s mouth.
“You can’t tell Leanne!” I exclaimed in a whisper.
Cassie nodded ever so slightly just as the squeaky floorboard outside my door sounded.
“Can’t tell me what?”
I instantly removed my hand from Cassie’s face, wiping the residues of lip gloss on my jeans. “Uh.” My heart was in my mouth. I’d never lied to Leanne before. “I said you can’t tell Leanne that I got pen on her old ‘Haunted Vegas’ tee.” I grabbed the bottom of the t-shirt and pretended to examine a non-existent pen mark. “Clumsy me.”
Leanne leaned into the door frame and clicked her tongue. “It doesn’t matter. I ordered a new t-shirt online just now. That one’s yours to keep.”
The relief that crossed my face was genuine; I couldn’t believe she’d bought my lame excuse.
“That’s alright then,” I said. “I’m sure it’ll come out in the wash anyway.”
***
Three days later, I was following Cassie around the shopping mall after college. It was overcrowded and stuffy and the bright lights were giving me a headache. I could hear crying children over by the restaurant that smelt of grease and coffee, and people gossiping by the cash point. I sighed. I’d only agreed to come to shut Cassie up. She’d seen a top in Zelda King’s magazine column so she’d dragged me here to try and find it.
I was about to ask Cassie if she even knew what shop we were looking for when I spotted someone that made my heart swoon. Sonny was standing over by the lift, talking to a girl I didn’t recognise. My gut twinged with jealousy until I realised that the girl was Roz. I hadn’t recognised her at first, due to the fact that last time I’d seen her she’d had bright red hair, much like Leanne’s. Today though, her hair was jet black with blue highlights.
My plan was to admire Sonny from a distance, but it didn’t take long before Cassie noticed him.
“Ooh!” She pointed with an arm laden with shopping bags. “Isn’t that lover boy?”
I rolled my eyes and forced her arm downwards. “Yes. Now keep on walking.”
Cassie spun around to face me, almost hitting a passing child in the face with her handbag. “Why? Don’t you fancy talking to him?”
I shook my head and watched a group of giggling girls pass us by. They were all wearing various shades of pinks and purples and I looked down at my jeans and grey jumper with a sigh.
“But how are you supposed to make him fall in love with you if you won’t talk to him?”
“I talked to him yesterday.”
“No, you mouthed wordlessly when he passed the lounge on the way to the kitchen.” She raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t exactly call that having a conversation.”
I sighed and pulled her out of the way of shoppers who were trying to pass us. “Well how am I supposed to have a conversation with him in a shopping centre if I can’t even speak to him when he’s in my house?”
Cassie bit her lip and I wanted to laugh at the simple fact that she was going to try and reply.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. But let’s find out.”
My stomach plummeted to my feet. “No!”
“Coward,” Cassie mumbled as she set off towards another store.
She had me try on four outfits in the next shop as punishment for wimping out on talking to Sonny. I stared hard at my reflection in the full length mirror that had somehow been squeezed into the smallest changing room on Earth. Part of me wished I’d taken my chances on a conversation with Sonny. The top Cassie had picked out for me was tight fitting and I couldn’t help staring at the bulge that protruded where my flat stomach used to be. I just didn’t understand it. I worked out twice a week at my dance classes yet I still looked like I had a small pillow shoved up the canary yellow t-shirt that Cassie had insisted I tried on.
“Can I have a look, please?”
Cassie’s voice didn’t make me break my gaze on my stomach.
“Umm, hello? H, what are you doing in there?”
Sighing, I spun around and whipped the faded pink curtain back. Cassie’s eyes surveyed me for a moment. She had a smile on her face until her eyes met my expression.
“What are you frowning at?” She sounded a little hurt. “I happen to like that shirt.”
“It’s not the shirt. It’s my stomach.”
I glanced back at my reflection and stuck my tongue out at what I saw. Cassie still hadn’t said anything and I wasn’t surprised. That girl had an opinion on everything, but she wasn’t used to the shoe being on the other foot; she was always the one complaining about something or other and I was the one who had to put her at ease. Now though, looking back at her, I could almost imagine the cogs in her brain ticking over slowly as she tried to figure out what to say.
Cassie’s face fell. “You’re not fat, Harriet.”
“I’m podgy.” I poked my gut, expecting to feel my finger hit flab but instead I felt folds and creases. A smile broke out onto my face. “Okay. Maybe not.”
Cassie cocked an eyebrow. “What are you on, H? Mood swings or what?”
Shaking my head, I smiled as I reached under the shirt and pulled out a mass of fabric that was attached to the yellow t-shirt at the seams. “I honestly don’t know how that got there.”
Cassie looked like she wanted to throw her head back and laugh out loud. Instead, she sniggered. “Trust you to put the top on wrong.”
“How was I supposed to know that it had two layers? These sorts of tops should come with instructions.”
Cassie pulled the curtain shut. “I’m going to have to give you a lesson on fashion.” I heard her start to laugh. “Let me know when you’re dressed properly.”
Moments later, I was staring at my reflection with a satisfied expression.
“You have to buy it,” Cassie announced as she stepped into the cubical. I immediately felt claustrophobic. “Look what I found while you were sorting yourself out.”
An employee passed the cubical opening, bundles of clothes in her arms and a sympathetic expression aimed at me. Great, she probably thinks I can’t dress myself.
I moved my eyes to the shirt Cassie was waving at me and a huge grin spread across my face. “It’s violet.”
“The same colour as your bean bag, yeah.”
I couldn’t tell whether she knew the real reason I loved the colour, but I took it from her anyway. Holding it up in front of myself, I smiled. “Looks like it’ll fit.”
“Aren’t you going to try it on?” Cassie was mocking me and I turned to push her out of the tiny cubical.
“No. Though it looks a lot easier to put on.”