"Are you feeling any better Harry? It's lunch time, your friends might be wondering where you are."
I forced my eyes open and sighed heavily, knowing that they definitely would be wondering where I was and one of the first places they'd look would be here.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed and running a shaky hand through my messed up hair I nodded to the nurse and picked my bag up off the floor beside my feet, "I think I'll be okay."
I hated my friends knowing when I had lows. It was bad enough that they knew I was diabetic in the first place, if I'd had it my way they wouldn't have been told but my parents thought it would be better if something did happen one day.
"Come back if you start feeling funny again, we'll have another lay down," Mrs Kohna, the school nurse, said with a kind smile.
"Will do," I nodded wearily as I ducked out the front door, letting the door close behind me. Massaging my throbbing temples I started my walk out to the field where I knew my friends would be waiting for me to turn up.
Honestly, I wasn't feeling great. This whole diabetes thing was a fairly new development and we were still trying to figure out insulin amounts that worked for me. It had been particularly rough in the last week but usually I dropped at night and woke up in a sweat, this was the first time I'd felt like this in school and I was embarrassed about it. It didn't matter how many people told me not to be, I felt like I was sticking out like a sore thumb and I hated all the extra attention.
"Hey, Harry! Where were you at?" Louis grinned cheerfully as I drew close to our usual lunch spot on a creaky wooden picnic table on the edge of the field.
"Got held in, had to finish something," I said as I sat down, trying to keep my voice steady in it's usual tone. Lying wasn't something I did often, but everything inside of me was so against telling this single truth and the lies just rolled off my tongue as if a recount of what had actually happened. The very last thing I wanted was to spark up a conversation about my diabetes. No thank you.
Sitting there, I felt kind of light-headed. It wasn't too bad but I knew that even after eating everything Mrs Kohna made me eat before going to sleep I was still running on low. I couldn't pull out the container of jellybeans I had at the bottom of my bag because the boys would realise right away what was going on and that was the exact opposite of what I wanted.
"Harry. . ."
A hand waved in front of my face and I jumped, almost falling backwards off my seat. My heart raced uncomfortably in my chest and my mouth opened a closed a few times silently.
"Glad you could come back down to earth." Niall laughed.
I forced a smile and chuckled too, shrugging apologetically, "I was just thinking. What were you saying?"
"I was trying to ask you about what you're going to do your project on next period," Liam said, eyes wide and expectant, "my group and I are thinking about doing something to do with child labour but I. . ."
His voice trailed off as I got lost again in my own thumping mind, social studies. We were starting a group project today. Great.
I buried my shaking hands in my pockets and tried to nod at the right times as Liam rambled on for a couple more minutes.
"So, what about you?"
I licked my lips, "I don't know. Louis' taking the lead on this one."
Liam spun to face Louis and they continued with the conversation.
Niall nudged my shoulder and opened his hand to reveal a handful of gummy lollies, covered with sugar. "Want some?" He whispered.
I nodded, maybe they'd help with the shakiness some.
"Don't tell the others, I don't have enough to share all round." Niall chuckled quietly as dropped them into my hand and tossed one into his own mouth with a daft wink that looked more like a spasm than anything else.
My taste-buds exploded when I put a lolly into my mouth. My tongue instantly became massive inside my mouth and I swallowed hard. I finished the handful quickly and jiggled my knee up and down, impatiently waiting for the lousy feeling to go away.
The bell went and it felt like I'd been sitting there for a day rather than half an hour. My knees shook as I stood and I growled to myself, why hadn't those sweets had any effect?
"You're pale Haz, feeling okay?" Liam asked with a frown. I hid my hands behind my back and nodded fervently despite my headache, "yeah, I'm probably just tired."
On the way to our social studies class we came across a bathroom and I decided to give myself a minute to recollect myself.
"I'll meet you guys there, I'm just gonna take a leak quickly," I said, pointing to the bathroom sign.
"Sweet, go fast though, or Mr Tote will have your head on a stick," Louis replied.
I grinned and headed inside. There were a few guys using the sinks so I locked myself in a stall, closed the loo lid, and sat down. I winced as I pulled my jellybeans out. Maybe this was too far. Eating in the bathroom was pretty gross. Someone used the hand dryer and I cracked the container open so I could quickly devour a few jellybeans.
I packed it away, shooting a brief glance at the blood sugar testing kit at the bottom of my bag. I didn't have time.
I was surprised to find Niall waiting for me outside the bathroom as I stepped outside.
He smiled, but it was different from his usual cheeky grin and I felt my cheeks warm up knowingly. He'd put the pieces together and what I was experiencing now was the awkward smile people gave me when I had to tell them I had diabetes.
"Your sugars are messed up, aren't they?" Niall said sympathetically. Blushing even redder I looked down at the ground and shuffled my feet. When I gained the bravery to look back up his eyes were warm and caring, and I realised that it hadn't been a coincidence he'd shared his lollies with me at lunch.
Niall tugged me close to his side and started leading me in the direction of the classroom we were due in, "have you checked your blood and everything? Eaten something?"
"Nothing's working," I replied, "but don't tell the others."
Niall grimaced, "it's too late Haz, sorry. They've gone to tell Mr Tote we might be a couple minute late."
I groaned and ripped out of his hold, stumbling as my vision blurred dizzily, "it's not a big deal!"
Niall frowned, "it could be if you don't tell us when this happens."
"I'm fine Niall. Let's just go to class." I gritted my teeth and turned on my heel, continuing to the stair case. I made it halfway up before breaking out in an uncomfortable sweat and tripping, only just catching myself on the railing. Niall grabbed me too, "maybe I should take you to the nurse Haz. . ."
"Let it go," I muttered, carrying on up the stairs.
In class Mr Tote stopped me from sitting down to take me aside for a chat in the corner of the room, where everyone could see and hear everything. He asked me if everything was okay with my diabetes and I wished I could just turn invisible.
"He needs to test his sugar levels Mr Tote, can I go with him just outside?" Liam appeared right behind me. I moaned his name unhappily as he dragged me back out of the classroom by the bottom of my shirt, "I'm fine."
"Niall doesn't think so and neither do I, or Lou. I wish you'd tell us why you get so strange about all this, I just don't get you sometimes mate," Liam said, shaking his head as he took my bag off my back and rested it on the window sill to dig through it.
My lips twitched. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to tell him.
Liam opened the kit with a confused look. I reached over and pulled out the pricker (? Lol who even knows what that thing's called? Let me know haha)
"You can talk to me, or any of us," Liam murmured as I pressed the little device against the side of my finger, pausing hesitantly. They told me at the hospital I'd get used to the needles pretty quick but it had been over a month now and I still hated it every single time. I flinched in shock as the needle pierced my skin and blood gathered on the surface.
"There's nothing to talk about," I replied, carrying on with the process I knew by heart.
"Are you embarrassed or something? Because you really don't have to be," Liam pushed further, and this time he hit a string. I swallowed and ignored him. The reading on my little screen was lower than it should've been still, despite everything I'd already done to get it back up. It was only marginally higher than it had been when I'd gone to see Mrs Kohna at the end of third period.
"That's too low Hazza," Liam sighed, catching a short glimpse as I packed everything up as quickly as I could with my hands shaking like they were.
"Well I don't know what to do!" I snapped, cracking slightly.
"Hey, it's okay. I think you should go see the nurse. She'll know how to get you feeling better. You don't have to stress Mate. Wait here for a second, I'm gonna go let Mr Tote know where we're going."
I leaned my head back against the wall, trying not to cry.
When Liam came back, he brought the rest of my friends with him and Mr Tote poked his head through the doorway for a second, "they're going to get you to Mrs Kohna Harry. You'll be okay."
Liam picked up my bag off the floor and Niall and Louis stood either side of me as if I was completely incapable. "I can walk," I grumbled.
"Course, there's just, well there's stairs and you don't seem very steady." Niall rubbed the back of his neck. I glared at him but he wasn't phased.
Unfortunately he was right about the stairs. I did have a hard time and did need a hand. It made me dizzy having my head down for too long. I don't know what would have happened if they weren't there to balance me, so I had to swallow my pride and embarrassment and realise that having them helping wasn't so bad. It would've been ten times worse to fall down the stairs, now that would draw attention.
Mrs Kohna didn't even look surprised to see me again, although seeing the other few boys made her raise an eyebrow.
"We'll sit him through here away from everyone," she said, leading the four of us through to the private room where the bed I'd napped in fourth period was. Once I was sat, hands still trembling and head still feeling light, Mrs Kohna asked me about my latest reading, tutting and shaking her head as I relayed the low number.
"Remind me not to trust you when you say you're okay," she chuckled. She opened the fridge in the corner of the room. It was stacked with bottle upon bottles of water, and then there on the bottom shelf was a large pack of juiceboxes labelled with a sticky note with my name on it. It was something my parents had given her in case of situations like these.
"I tried eating lollies and jellybeans but nothing made me feel better," I whimpered as I shakily tried to shove the straw through the thin foil. Louis steadied my hand and pierced it for me.
"Sometimes it can be funny. We'll see if that juice makes any difference and then maybe we'll have to try some sugar tablets," Mrs Kohna replied, her voice full or kind reassurance. "Finish that and lay down Bud."
Then she looked to my friends and I shuffled back against the wall, readying myself for the sure humiliation coming my way.
"Thank you lads for escorting Harry here to see me," she sad simply, causing my bottom lip to jut out as my eyes darted between her and them. That wasn't so bad.
"Course, Harry's our best mate. It took a bit to get it out of him though," Louis said, shooting me a pointed look. I shrugged, "it's weird."
"It's not," Niall rolled his eyes, "it's just diabetes. I don't care, Lou and Liam don't care. The teachers don't care and neither does anyone else.
The tense feeling in my chest crumbled slightly, "they don't?"
Louis cut it, "that was really badly worded Niall, we do care, but not about this whole diabetes thing. We just want you to be good and happy, ya know?" Louis shoved Niall and smiled at me.
"Yeah, that makes sense. . ." I hummed, sipping at my juice. I already felt better. My strength was slowly and thankfully returning. "So, this is okay? Being here with me?"
The lads all shrugged. "Class sucks." Louis grinned.
I nodded slowly and crunched the empty juice box in my fist, wondering if it really had been like this the whole time and I'd just been too caught up in my own paranoia to realise it. Knowing that this really wasn't as big of a deal to them as I thought it was put my mind at ease.
Mrs Kohna smiled and stood up, "well, I'm sorry to say it but you boys better be heading back to class. I'm gonna keep Harry, sorry."
"Alright, we'll see you tomorrow mate. Feel better!" Liam called as the three of them filed through the door. I grinned in their absence, everything felt better now.
"Some pretty good friends you've got Harry," Mrs Kohna said as I laid down on the pillows.
"They really are," I wholeheartedly agreed.
I can't tell if this is all over the place or not. Diabetes isn't something I'm hugely knowledgeable about but I figured I knew enough to write without looking it up so hopefully I did alright in that aspect. Anyway, it's late and I'm so ready for sleep.
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