(sorry for all the edgy songfics with more thought than action
It's just how I express my teenage angst and emotions
Most of these are just all my thoughts if we're being honest
So enjoy living in my mind)
If I fall to hell, then I can save my soul from doom
Imagine the grasp of fire around your body. The person you love screaming "sin" to you as they try to destroy their love for you. Imagine how crazy that would be. 1.
If I fly to heaven, I can see you very soon
I mean, dying lightly would be cool I guess. Dying in the arms of somebody you love. "Just remember that I love you, blAH." Not badass enough. 2.
Lovingly, lovingly
Choking through 'cause I love you and you love me
You imagine all of this stuff every day as you write it down. You write down all of your ideas, imagining yourself in a different world than your current. Your life is boring. What you're excited about is your death. Your death will be spectacular! Totally not boring.
With your voice barely new, I confess how much I love you
You hold Maven's hand every day of your life. It's so calm, a movement that leaves you two breathless. You two have never done anything more than that. See, your life is so boring. You haven't even had sex with yet. I mean, you want to, but you aren't sure how to approach that segment yet.
Punish me in hell for all the sin I breed
Thoughts like that are maybe why Maven attempts to push you away. Is he scared of you or is he scared of what you can do to him? Even if he likes it or not you're always there to stand outside his door, asking to talk to him once more before you die that beautiful death.
You will fly to heaven where the world is pure and new
You understand Maven. You always have and you always will. He's just a pure child in your eyes. You just want to protect him. And also fuck him. It's strange but relatable.
If I get to heaven, then can I be there with you?
You wonder what Maven would be like when he's free. Free from the weight of being a royal. Free from his family. Free from his own thoughts. Would you love you even more then? Would you stop pushing you away then?
Without a pause, I said to you, happily, how I love you too
Hugging Maven has always been a blessing. When you look into his eyes all you can see is the sky. He's an amazing specimen and you hope he'll never die like you will. You want his death to be peaceful, lack of pain. A part of you knows that won't happen. A part of you can hope.
If they pardon all my sins can I be there with you?
Somebody like you is going to hell, that's a given. Somebody like Maven is going to heaven, that's a fact. Will you be able to be with Maven after your death? Probably not. Maybe you should hold off dying for awhile just so you can stay with Maven for a little longer.