Hello all my awesome fans!!! I love you all!!!! Thanks to you, this story is #408 in non- fiction!!!
I LOVE YOU
well, I felt bad for not updating this story enough, so I threw this together! Hope you enjoy!
P.S
I AM NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANY RELIGION IN THIS CHAPTER! PLEASE TAKE NO OFFENCE!
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It's the nineteenth. Twelve more day until Halloween. We are all pumped me, Matt, Ava, and Alice are all going trick or treating together. We have established that we will look like idiots, but we don't care. I wanted Josie to come, but she promised Anna and Vera they would go trick or treating together like the old times. I laughed when I heard that. She makes it sound like we're eighty or something.
At lunch we talk about our awesome Halloween plans. I'm laughing about who knows what, when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see Sophie shyly standing there. Even though I can tell she feels out of place here, her smile is still wide and her green eyes are shining.
"Hey, Sophie! What's up?" I ask.
"Oh um," She stumbles while playing with her vibrant red hair. "I was wondering if you would like to come to my church group tonight?"
"Sure, I'd love to!" I smile. Sophie's is a great friend, but her mom doesn't like me too much. So the past few weeks I have been going to her church group on Wednesdays to spend time with her, without her mom getting mad. It's actually quite fun. I have made a lot of new friends, and they're not too bad... for Christians. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against Christians in general, but being an atheist, we typically don't get along.
"That's great!" Sophie says enthusiastically. "See you at seven?"
"Yep!" I pop my "P" and smile as she walks away.
"Going to church now, are we?" I hear Alice mock. She too is an atheist. No surprise there.
"Oh, don't give me shit," I mumble. "Its just because Sophie's mom hates me, so this is the only reason why I am, and ever will go to church." I state to make that clear to Alice.
"I see." Alice says thoughtfully.
"I don't see what's so bad about it." Ava chimes in. "Abigail could use some repenting." I glare at her. "Do you have something against people who go to church Alice? Hmm?" Ava interrogates playfully.
"Ya Alice," Peeta joins, never missing a chance to tease someone. "Just cause people don't sit around in a dark corner all day, you have something against them?"
Alice puts her hands up in surrender. "I don't have anything against the other inhabitants of this world, I just don't understand them. That's all!"
I laugh at Alice as Peeta continues to mock her. I turn back to my lunch deciding that I should actually eat something, when I hear a sweet voice shout my name. I look up and see Vera staring at me.
"Yo, Abigail." She shouts again to make sure she has my attention.
"Hmm?" I answer.
"What ya, doing the..." She pauses as she thinks. "The 28th?"
"29th" Josie instantly corrects.
"Ya, whatever." Vera mumbles. "Anyway," She continues yelling over the chaos again. "Me, Jos, and Anna are going to Valley scare. Wanna come?"
"Sure" I answer immediately. Then my actual brain kicks in and I have to take it back.
"Why?" Josie whines."It won't be the same without you!"
"Yeah!" Vera chimes in.
"Sorry!" I apologize. Really wishing I could go. "I gotta visit the family in Mankato." I groan remembering that my cousins will be there too. The ones who go around shooting people with Nerf guns and fireworks.
"Well, that sucks." Josie states.
"No, duh." I say rolling my eyes.
"When ya leaving?" she asks.
"Uh, I don't know." I admit. "Probably between next Wednesday and Friday."
Josie gives me a puppy face and pouts. "Three whole days without you!"
I pat her on the head. "Hey it might just be one day. More than likely only one day."
"Okay," She sighs.
"So guy go and tell me how bad ass it is" I suggest.
She gives me a confused look before she says, "Why would I just go with those losers without you?"
"Feeling the love here." Vera mumbles. I forgot she was still there.
"Hehe!" Josie laughs. "Just kidding, but seriously! Its not the same without you!"
"Without me trying to scare the shit out of you every second?"
"Exactly!" She exclaims laughing.
Boy, my friends are really something. Lunch ends and Sophie finds me to tell me the details. I'm actually quite excited about going to church with her. Sophie can make anything fun. She's one the people I trust. She's bulimic, so she understands sometimes.
Together our conversations always go deep. We talk about life and the people in it. I haven't told her about Madison yet. Josie's the first one an I told Ava, Alice, and Peeta a few weeks ago. They didn't make a big deal out of it, they don't really care.
I finished the day in a blur and before I know it I'm listening to Sophie go on about how glad she is I came.
"Really, I like going to church with you! Its fun!" I insist.
"Well, I'm really glad you have fun!" she says with a smile.
We get out of the car and Mindy is there to meet us.
"Hey Mindy!" I shout as I get out of the car. I run up to her and high five her. Mindy is the youth leader. In the past weeks I've been going we've become good friends. I think I might trust her.
"How have you been, Abigail?" Mindy asks as we walk into the building.
"Great! You?" I reply looking around wondering where Sophie went.
"Good! Hey Abigail, do you want to grab a cup of coffee Saturday?"
"Huh?" I whip my head back to Mindy. Why would she want to have a cup of coffee with me? "Um, sure, I guess." I manage.
"That's great!" She says perkily and starts to set up for her lecture.
I decide to go find Sophie. I walk in a trance. Either Mindy is just random and awesome like that or there's an actually reason she wants to talk to me. I hope its the first one, but I find it herd to believe Mindy's awesomeness extends to hanging out with me in her free time. I sigh as I see Sophie standing in the corner talking to some just as sweet girls. I decided to join them, but I put little into the conversation. I don't know how to feel about our meeting on Saturday, so I just put it in the back of my head and smile.
Through Mindy's lecture I couldn't help but think about it. I feel like I can trust her. Maybe this is the chance I've been waiting for. I start to get excited. Mindy is just awesome,; she can tell that I'm not telling her everything. She wants to know, and I think she will be there for me. I decide to trust her and tell Sophie about my plans with Mindy.
Everyone starts to file out the door and I drag Sophie to the side. She smiles and we head out the opposite way. We sit in our favorite spot at the back of the church. We only have a few minutes before her mom comes, so I just get right to the point.
"I'm going to have coffee with Mindy on Saturday."
Sophie nods obviously not over thinking things like I do. "That's cool!" She says encouragingly.
"I think I'm going to tell her."
Sophie stiffens. She knows what I mean. "Well if you trust her," She pauses and thinks it over, then nods and smiles at me. "I think it is a good idea to tell her. I think she can help you a lot!"
Help isn't what I was really looking for, I just wanted someone to vent to. I just shrug my shoulders telling Sophie that we are done talking. We both stand up and walk to the car. Of course her mom is waiting impatiently when we get there.
"Sorry mom" Sophie mumbles as we get into the car. Her mom sighs and starts to drive. It isn't that far to me house, but in the whole ten minutes I was in the car Sophie managed to cover so many subjects, I couldn't count. I tune out after her rant about the good and bad teachers. To be honest, I think they are all idiots for trying to teach kids useless information, that nobody cares about.
I get out of the car and thank Sophie's mom for driving. I get a fake smile, but at least she tried. That means something right? I wave good bye to Sophie and make a mad dash to my room. Once I get there, ignoring the yells from my mother, I lock the door and make my way under my loft.
I sit there for a moment and let my heart race. I really hate that feeling. My mind races, I can't stop thinking about what waits for me on Saturday. I sigh, grab my razors and a towel and go into the bathroom. I turn the water on in the shower and step under the steaming water. I let it fall over my head and soak my hair and body before leaning out to grab a razor.
I let the hot water pound against my back as I rip open my skin with the razor. With each slash I make the more dyed the water running down my body becomes. As the blood flows out of my body, so does the stress. I stop half way to my elbow and watch the blood swirl around the shower floor. It makes swirls and streaks before it dances down the drain. Such a beautiful sight.
Mesmerized by the sight, I stand there a few minutes more before getting out and wrapping by cuts in bandages. I wrap a towel around my body, and press my ear to the door. I listen for a moment before I decide that the coast is clear. I sprint down the hallway and make it safely into my room. With the stress gone, I cuddle into bed and fall into a peaceful sleep.
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Well? Its a midnight put together....
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Love to ya'll!
~Josie