I shook my head and typed a reply.
I'm fine. We're all at my office trying to figure out how to help.-Charlie
I'll be there first thing. I want to help too.-Scott
Scott has a kind heart but he was always such a goof. He was rarely ever serious. That mission changed the both of us. Steve had good reason for being suspicious. We never told anyone outside of our command. It ruined a lot of my relationships. Especially the one with Steve. Things were so strained after I got back and the mission where I got shot made it worse. He swore up and down we had slept together and as bad as it sounds, I never bothered to correct him. We weren't supposed to talk about that mission, but even if we were... I didn't want to. I couldn't. Steve tried for months to make things better between us. He was willing to forgive me. I tried to be more present but I had nightmares all the time. They were always the same. Seeing Isa die and just standing frozen, unable to help. The next mission, my recklessness caused us to lose 4 good men, and injuring one of my best friends Sam Wilson. I got tired of losing people. I blamed myself for everything. I quit my job at the private security sector and started working under Bruce Banner at the CDC while I went to school. I ceased contact with Steve for a couple of years. Then I got my law degree, left the CDC, and started a practice. My guilt was still overbearing. I burned bridges when I left. Which is why calling Bruce and seeing Steve was hard to do.
"What are you doing up?" Bucky's voice shook me out of my thoughts.
"I couldn't sleep." I looked at the clock. 4:30 am. Bucky rubbed his eyes.
"Things seem pretty tense between you and Rogers."
"We haven't had the best relationship over the last few years."
He started the coffee pot and sat beside me. "What happened between you two? He doesn't really talk about it."
"If he doesn't want to talk about it, then maybe I shouldn't either."
"He's my best friend, Chuck. But he's hurting. Something is unresolved between you two and it's killing him."
I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face. "He thinks I slept with Scott."
"Did you?"
I simply shook my head.
"Then why does he think that?"
"Because I was different when I came back from Iraq with him and I wouldn't tell him why. He assumed and I didn't correct him."
"What the hell, Charlie. It didn't happen but you just let him torture himself with it?"
"I couldn't talk about it! It was classified."
Bucky rolled his eyes. "You guys told each other classified stuff all the time."
"But this was different. I couldn't talk about it. And I told him that. But he wouldn't accept it. He needed something concrete to hold on to and this is what came up. I know it's shitty but I didn't know what to do."
We sat in silence for a minute sipping the freshly brewed coffee.
"Scott is gonna be here in a couple of hours too."
I peeked over the coffee cup as I brought it to my lips. Bucky's mouth had dropped.
"Then you better tell Steve the truth. Or he's going to go off on him. Why is he coming here anyways?"
"He wants to help. He's outside of the Cordon and I told him we were trying to figure out some way to assist with all this and he said he was going to come."
"That seems like a bad idea. Why can't he just help from his own office."
"You know good and well we all work better together."
He sighed and ran his hands through his shaggy hair. "And what exactly do you think we're even going to be able to do? I think we all just came here so we could be together incase it got worse."
"You don't really believe that do you, Buck? BB was already researching, trying to figure out what she could do to possibly find a cure. Pete is searching for information to see if there are going to be any more attacks. Steve has more insider information. And whether he wants to admit it or not, Pete's hacking will be helpful."
"Brook is smart but she's still fairly new at this."
"Bruce isn't. With both of their minds AND your help, they could definitely find a cure. We have a whole team of specialists right here, so why shouldn't we work to try and fight this thing?"
"Because there are teams of specialists whose actual JOB is to fight this out in LA."
"But this thing caught everyone off guard." Steve's voice interrupted. "A lot of CDC workers are in the Cordon."
"Exactly. Which works out. They are literally in the center of this thing. We can set up communications and share our findings. Work together to stop this thing."
"If they're even still alive." Bucky mumbled under his breath.
"James Buchanan, what the hell is wrong with you? These are our people. It's our city. Our country. Do you not care how many people die? Can you live with yourself knowing you had a chance to help but instead just sat back and did nothing?"
Steve stepped closer, trying to diffuse the situation. His voice was calm and quiet as he spoke.
"As much as we would love your help, we can do it without you, Buck. If that's what makes you more comfortable, we won't push you."
"Of course I care about people dying. I'm worried you all are going to die. And I can't just sit back and watch you kill yourselves trying to save everyone else. You're my family. I can't lose you all."
Throwing my hands in the air, I sighed heavily. "So what do you want to do then?"
He stared at me in silence for a moment before breathing out, shoulders falling in defeat. "I'll help. But as much as you all are priority in my life, BB is number one. I'm stopping this if I think she's in immediate danger."
I opened my mouth to protest, but Steve spoke before I could. "Deal. It makes sense, of course. But having everyone pitch in on this will make a big difference. Thanks, bud."
Bucky immediately turned to me, eyes squinting. "But if I'm going to help, you have to tell him the truth."
I could feel the color drain from my skin as I watched out of the corner of my eye Steve slowly turn towards me, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Tell me the truth about what?"
I stared straight at Buck, silently cursing.
"You do it, or I will."
After staring each other down for several seconds, I looked towards Steve. "Scott will be here in a couple of hours. He wants to help too."
His jaw tightened, his whole body tensing. "Scott Lang?"
I simply nodded, feeling Bucky's eyes on me, waiting to see what else I would say.
"You really think that's a good idea? Last time we saw each other, I gave him a black eye."
"What?! You didn't tell me that." Bucky's voice was defensive. Steve ignored him.
"Something tells me though that's not what you're supposed to be truthful about."
I shifted from foot to foot nervously, wondering what his reaction was going to be to the truth, considering the lie destroyed our relationship. Knowing I couldn't keep it from him any longer, I took a seat on one of the barstools.
"I didn't sleep with him." I paused to see if he would say anything, but when he didn't I kept talking. "The mission went south. It was awful. We weren't supposed to talk about it but I didn't want to talk about it. I could barely live with myself. And you just kept pushing for answers and I hated not giving you one. So when you assumed, I thought it was better for you for me to just lie."
He laughed sarcastically. "That sounds like a bunch of bullshit."
I leaned back, shocked at his response. "It's not. It's the truth."
"If you cheated on me just own up to it. Don't try to change your story because he's coming here and you don't want a fight."
"This all happened years ago. Why would I change my story and lie now just to avoid a fight? I don't give a shit. You two are adults. If you want to act like children, it's your own business. Bucky is right though, I've been lying to you for too long. It's time to tell you the truth. If we are gonna die, I might as well."
"Just stop, Charlie. Okay? I don't wanna hear this nonsense."
"Steve are you serious?"
"Stop! I don't care! I'll be an adult when he's around but I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to him. He'll be lucky I won't beat his face in."
"Steve come on man, let her talk." Bucky interjected.
"Children are dead because of us!"
My voice was louder than I meant for it to be, because the rest of our group came running in the break room.
"What is going on?" Ace questioned, pistol in hand.
"Nothing, we were just talking." Steve snapped.
"At 5 in the morning, with Chuck yelling? Seems like more than that." Brook's tone was laced with annoyance. She already doesn't sleep enough, so getting woken up is something she despises.
"Everyone might as well congregate in the conference room. Scott Lang is coming in a couple of hours and I was just about to tell Steve what really happened on that mission 5 years ago."