You Make My Dreams
Jisoo was excited when August ended and Boyoung Unni's wedding finally rolled around. She loved weddings and parties and she especially loved that a girl she had idolized and thought of the cool big sister that her parents never gave her was finally getting married.
The Parks had a small, intimate ceremony in the morning with just hers and Yoshiki's immediate family, who had flown all the way from Tokyo. Boyoung and her new husband were planning to fly back the following week so they could have another ceremony with the rest of Yoshiki's clan.
So it was late in the afternoon by the time Jisoo walked into the hall at the hotel where the reception was being held. She was a little late, though. Mostly her fault for waking up late and then forgetting that she still had to make sure her grandfather had dinner since her parents would be out of town tonight. Then she hurriedly got ready, telling her grandfather not to expect her back until later that night. She didn't realize she had left the still-broken door leaning against the side of the house when she left.
Bundles of wisteria and round white lanterns dangled from the ceiling, illuminating the hall with a soft, romantic glow. Tables had been set around a dance floor and were covered in white linens and centered with short vases overflowing with wild roses, lit by strings of fairy lights. The effect was whimsical and otherworldly. A midsummer night's dream of a wedding.
"Jisoo!" called out a beautiful young woman in a sparkling white gown. Jisoo rushed over to Boyoung Unni and wrapped her arms around her.
"Oh my god, I am so psyched that you could make it!" Boyoung said, crushing the younger girl to her chest.
"Congratulations," Jisoo said fondly. Beside them, a tall, tuxedoed groom with a man-bun clear his throat. Jisoo remembered her manners.
"Oh, hello," she said nervously, pulling herself from Boyoung's embrace. "I'm Kim Jisoo, I've heard so much about you."
"I've heard about you, too," said Yoshiki, giving her a firm handshake and a warm smile. "I heard you stole the show from Cinderella in the third grade."
"And I heard you're stealing the show again," Boyoung said. "From your mom this time. How's the program going?"
"Oh, it's coming along just fine, I think," Jisoo said. "The kids don't want to die every time they show up for rehearsals anymore, so I think we're making progress."
"Ugh, I can't wait to see it," Boyoung said, gripping Jisoo's hands. "I'm so glad you could make it, I missed you so much! And you've gotten so pretty! Five years away from home and you went from a five-and-a-half to a ten, damn girl!"
Jisoo did dress up a little, it was a wedding after all. She had unearthed a periwinkle dress from the giant luggage bag that she had yet to unpack and put her mother's steamer to good use before showing up. She curled her hair and let it fall over her shoulders like it naturally would. She was satisfied with her appearance when she left the house, but still, Jisoo swatted at Boyoung's compliments like flies.
"You're the bride here," Jisoo said. "No one's allowed to be a ten tonight except you."
"Huh, guess you're right," Boyoung said. After exchanging their pleasantries, Jisoo headed into the hall and quickly found her table. She was sitting with a few of Boyoung's college friends and some of the Parks' distant cousins.
Jisoo befriended them easily enough, learned about a recent trip they made to Las Vegas and a new baby in the family. She casually mentioned having spent time in Los Angeles and they prodded her for stories of what life was like on the Golden Coast. The only story she could tell that would satiate their hunger was an anecdote about the time she accidentally stole Joe Jonas' smoothie at a Jamba Juice and a thirty-second encounter with B. D. Wong at a photo shoot, which was only because she was taking care of lunch for the crew and needed to know if he had any food allergies.
"So how do you know Boyoung?" asked one of Boyoung's college friends.
"I was—am—friends with her younger brother, Jinyoung," Jisoo explained. "He and I go way back, all the way to third grade practically, and I hung out at their house a lot. Boyoung went to our school, too, and she walked home with us sometimes. Before she graduated."
"Aww, how sweet," the girl said. "Childhood friends."
Jisoo had been keeping an eye out for Jinyoung, in fact. She had already spotted Mr. And Mrs. Park who were sitting at separate tables with respective grandparents. Miyoung, as the maid of honor, was rushing around, usually surrounded by a gaggle of bridesmaids in mauve dresses, trying to make sure everything was running smoothly.
When she got up to get a drink at the bar, however, it was Jinyoung who found her. The waiter was just handing Jisoo a cocktail when she felt a tap on her shoulder.
Turning around to face Jinyoung this time felt an awful lot like that time Jisoo saved Minji from her grandfather and Jinyoung had come running out of the tailor's shop. He was wearing the same sleek tuxedo and his hair had been combed back.
The thing about tuxedos is that all men look good in them. Even a guy who is a four (at best) in his daily wear gets bumped up to a six or seven when he wears a tux.
Jinyoung was better than a four.
"Hey," he said, raising his voice a little so she could hear him over the hundred or so other conversations taking place. Jisoo took a sip of her drink.
"Hello there," she said with a smile. "Nice tux."
He looked down at his clothes with a smirk. "Thanks," he said. "I see you've started drinking already."
"Of course, I love weddings, especially weddings with open bars," Jisoo said, lifting the cherry from her glass by its stem and popping it into her mouth.
"What are you drinking?" he asked.
"It's a Manhattan," Jisoo said, covering her mouth as she chewed. "Which, I understand, is where you'll be flying off to at the end of the summer. When are you leaving?"
Jinyoung bit down on his lip. He looked across the room at the table where his girlfriend was sitting, talking to another guest.
"It's kind of up in the air right now," he said. "Officially, our plane flies out of Seoul on the 24th of September, but we might actually be heading back up to the city next week."
"Next week?" Jisoo's heart sank. "That's... that's so soon, though."
He looked down at his shoes. "It is," he said. "But there's so much to do. We have to pack up the apartment, and I need to get everything straightened out at work."
Jisoo couldn't believe what she was hearing. She took another sip of her drink.
"But if you leave next week," Jisoo said. "You... you won't get to go to the rest of the reunion events."
Jinyoung's expression looked troubled. "Tell Jennie that I'm sorry," he said. "I bet she worked really hard on it."
"You bet your ass she did," Jisoo downed the rest of her Manhattan and then waved the empty glass at him. "She'll be really disappointed. And you will be, too, in the long run. So many fun things that you're going to miss out on."
Jinyoung made a show of sighing with deep disappointment. "I'm already so full of regrets as it is," he said. "What's a couple more?"
"You're a buzzkill," Jisoo said. Jinyoung laughed, but he started to fidget with his cufflinks.
"When is the last event for the reunion?" he asked.
Jisoo stole a chocolate truffle from a dessert tray. "I don't know," she said. "Twentieth of September I think."
Jinyoung rubbed his wrists. "I could... drive back down for that weekend."
Jisoo looked at him with her mouth half full of chocolate. "But don't you fly out on the 24th? You don't think that's cutting it too close?"
He shrugged. "It probably is," he said. "But still, I... want to be there. I'm moving to another country. I don't know when I'll see you or any of those people again."
Their eyes met and they exchanged a pair of sad smiles.
"We'll see each other again," Jisoo said, putting a hand on his shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"Don't worry. You're going to New York, not North Korea," she said, trying to sound cheerful for his sake. "Look, now that we're back together again, I'm not letting you go, alright? So... don't even think about turning back into a stranger."
She said that with solid resolve and every intention of following through. The last five years had been a mistake, one that she was determined not to make again. Jisoo retracted her arm and then reached for another chocolate truffle. Jinyoung's heart started beating louder in his chest. He had no doubt that this time around, they would do better to stay in touch and actually stay friends. If their friendship could survive those five years of cold silence, then surely it could endure this.
But the thought of leaving this place hit another nerve, disrupted an old wound.
"Why did we turn into strangers in the first place?" Jinyoung asked.
A vision of endless ocean appeared in their minds' eyes. They saw the docks, the buoy, the darkening violet sky and the budding stars, the waning summer heat transforming into autumn, the taste of alcohol on their tongues.
Jisoo clenched her hands into fists and let her arms fall by her side. She couldn't look him in the eye.
"You don't remember?" she whispered. She thought he didn't hear because he took so long to answer. Jinyoung bit his lips.
"How could I forget?" he said.
She looked at him with a sideways glance and then quickly averted her eyes. So he did remember. Everything she felt that evening started rushing back to her. The humiliation, the fear, the uncertainty, the rejection. The urge to pack up everything and run again.
Jinyoung seemed to sense this, because he moved closer to her, like he was getting ready to chase after her. He tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but someone else put theirs on his first.
Minji appeared at his side. She looked between Jinyoung and Jisoo before clearing her throat.
"Your sister and her husband are about to make their entrance," she said. "We should take our seats."
Jinyoung was about to protest and ask Minji to give him a minute to speak with his friend, but the lights dimmed and the music started. Guests turned their heads to face the entrance and Jisoo wandered back to her table without another word.
An MC introduced the newly married Mr. and Mrs. Kondo, and Boyoung and her husband walked into the hall arm in arm with smiles that were much too big for their faces, glowing radiant with joy. Guests cheered them on while a Natalie Cole song played on the loudspeakers. Jisoo clapped her hands and put on a smile for everyone else's sake.
The music changed when Boyoung and Yoshiki turned to face each other on the dance floor and began their first dance as husband and wife.
They swayed in each other's arms, eyes glossy with tears and looking at one another as if no one else in the world existed. A look so soft and joyful and so full of love that it broke everyone's hearts.
Jisoo clenched her fists and pressed them against her lap. Before she even knew it, she was crying.
That's really what this is all about, isn't it? she thought.
Love. Finding it, acquiring it, losing it, not having it, giving it, withholding it. That was what the beginning and end of everything, she supposed.
She looked around the room at all the guests and saw a couple more tear-stained faces. When she looked back at Boyoung and her husband, she saw that Yoshiki was crying, too, and Boyoung was wiping his tears and trying to smile for the both of them, for the guests, too.
Jisoo's eyes started to wander toward Jinyoung's table again, but she forced herself to look away. The last thing she wanted was to make this beautiful wedding for two beautiful people about herself and her problems.
The music switched to something more upbeat. Yoshiki dried his tears and broke into a laugh as he eyed his guests and beckoned them onto the dance floor. Boyoung's college girl friends rushed to surround her with hugs and congratulations. They spun her around and danced together. More and more guests joined them in the center, and the music blasted louder.
Jinyoung remained seated while the waitstaff went around serving dinner to everyone who had decided to forgo dancing for now.
He was watching his sister dance with her new husband. Boyoung had been popular with boys growing up, so seeing her with one wasn't anything new, but this was one of the first times Jinyoung had seen her look truly happy. He felt relieved.
He was thought about all the moments they shared. Miyoung was like a surrogate mother figure growing up: she packed him lunches and scolded him if he stayed out too late. Boyoung was more like a same-aged sibling, if anything, always stealing the pudding cup from his lunchbox and encouraging him to stay out late.
Boyoung was one who was most hurt by their parents' fighting and the dissolution of their marriage. For years, she declared she'd never marry. He was happy that she found someone worth breaking her rules for.
One song ended and another one began. As soon as Jinyoung heard the first guitar riff, he burst out laughing and hid his face in his hands because he knew exactly what was going to happen next.
Boyoung heard the song, too, and she immediately looked over at her little brother.
"Jinyoung!" she cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted at him. "Jinyoung! Come on! It's Hall and Oates, it's the song!"
"Jinyoung, it's the song!" shouted Miyoung, beckoning their young brother onto the dance floor.
"Get your butt over here right now! It's my wedding day!" Boyoung pushed through the crowd of dancers, who were all now looking at an embarrassed Jinyoung, still trying to hide from his sister.
Boyoung marched right over and grabbed him with a fistful of his lapel.
"Come on, don't make me. Please. Noonaaa," he whined as Boyoung yanked him out of his seat and dragged him to the center of the floor.
"Wait! Oh my god, Jisoo is here, too!" Miyoung shouted.
Jisoo had also been slouching in her chair trying not to be seen. It was the Hall and Oates song that she and Jinyoung danced at their high school talent show, the one that got them the first place certificate to the waffle house. Miyoung spotted her and zoomed over.
"No no, please, don't. Unniii," Jisoo whined. Miyoung grabbed both of her wrists and pulled her off her chair. Then she pulled Jisoo to the middle of the dance floor and then motioned for the DJ to start the song over again.
When they met in the middle of the floor, the rest of the dancing crowd had backed out and formed a semi-circle around the two friends. They couldn't do anything except look at each and laugh nervously and shake their heads.
The song began again.
Fuck, Jinyoung thought. Could he even remember the choreography? There were so many people watching. That talent show was so long ago. Sweat started collecting on his brow the moment the first guitar riff started to play. He looked over at Jisoo, at his dance partner, and their eyes met.
When the intro ended and the first verse began, everything suddenly clicked.
What I want, you've got
And it might be hard to handle
Like the flame that burns the candle
The candle feeds the flame, yeah, yeah
They turned to face each other and started to dance the exact choreography they'd invented together so many years ago. The crowd started cheering, and Boyoung erupted into laughter. Jinyoung laughed along. He couldn't believe he still remembered this dance.
What I've got's full stock
Of thoughts and dreams that scatter
Then you pull them all together
And how I can't explain
Their bodies found the rhythm and rode it. They bobbed their heads along to the music, felt a rush of adrenaline as the crowd cheered them on. Jinyoung took Jisoo's hand and she twirled into him, but somehow he was the dizzy one.
Well, well you
Ooh-hoo, hoo-ooh, ooh-oo
You make my dreams come true
The choreography wasn't very intricate. It was put together by two fourteen-year-olds who only put their names on the setlist because they were dared to, and every stupid, silly dance move they came up wth came from some video on YouTube. All twirls and jumping and arms waving around and sassy hip gyrating and cheesy, tired old dance moves. There was even a small lift during the bridge. Jinyoung and Jisoo were sure that they looked amateurish and awkward.
But, hell, it sure was fun.
Well, well you
Ooh-hoo, hoo-ooh, ooh-oo
You make my dreams come true
It made Jisoo remember their countless, agonizing rehearsal meetings. At Jinyoung's house, where they would scoot the coffee table out of the living room. They would dance in their socks on the faded oriental rug, and then Jisoo began to rehearse in high heels and she once stepped on his foot. His pinky toe started bleeding. When they could finally dance the choreography without any mistakes, they both fell exhausted onto the carpet and fell asleep.
While Jinyoung was twirling her in the middle of the dance floor, he suddenly had a vision of that sunny hilltop house they once foolishly dreamed about. Would it have had a spacious living they could dance in? A comfortable rug to fall onto and sleep on at the end of a long day? A cabinet in the kitchen full of first aid supplies in case his toe started bleeding again?
He grinned as Jisoo spun into him. A full stock of scattered thoughts and dreams, and she pulled him together.
When the song faded out, Jisoo couldn't help but wrap her arms around him and laugh as she tried to catch her breath. Jinyoung pulled her into his chest and returned the embrace. They were thinking the same things.
How the hell did we remember all that? Was it this tiring to perform last time, too? Should we go get waffles now that it's over?
When the song suddenly changed to something slower, their laughter faded out. Jisoo looked up at Jinyoung and found his face right in front of hers, their noses almost touching. She remembered all of a sudden that they were still standing in the middle of the dance floor, the only couple that hadn't started slow dancing. She cleared her throat.
"I should go back to my seat," she whispered. Jisoo loosened her arms from around him and tried to back away.
Jinyoung only held onto her tighter. Her heartbeat quickened. Jinyoung's chest rose and fell as he tried to catch up to his breathing after the dance, but the look in his eyes was altogether entirely different.
But the moment was interrupted again, this time by Yoshiki.
The groom tapped Jisoo on the shoulder and gave her a smile. "May I have the pleasure?" he asked.
She exchanged looks with Jinyoung. Then she let Yoshiki take her hand while Jinyoung watched as the groom danced with her. He was suddenly aware of being a single dancer in the middle of the floor during a slow dance. He was going to return to his seat, but when he turned to leave, his girlfriend stood in front of him.
During a lull in her conversation with Yoshiki, Jisoo happened to look over and see Jinyoung slow dancing with Minji. She was in the middle of biting down on her lip and trying to turn her heart back into solid stone when, over the slow music, someone shouted:
"Hey! That old man has a gun!"
Jisoo whipped her head around, as did everyone else in the room right before they started screaming and running. There, at the entrance, was a small, elderly man in hanbok wielding an antique shotgun. Jisoo froze.
Harabeoji.