chapter i.
' we're on our own '
15 YEARS PRIOR
'TOMMY, YOU'RE MAKIN' A MISTAKE," Joel yelled as his brother cocked his gun, giving him a once over before scoffing. "The only mistake I'm making it letting that little girl stay anywhere near you," he snarled and watched as Ryder sat on her horse, a small handgun attached to her hip by a holster and the reigns in her hands. She'd grown up far faster than Tommy could have imagined in the five years they'd been together, the eleven year old having looked out for herself and he and Joel.
"The Fireflies ain't gonna help you like your own family, please just rethink this," Joel had lowered his voice to a snark whisper to remove Ryder from the conversation, speaking so low that Tommy could barely hear yet the hostility still raised the temperature in his veins.
"Let me take her, Joel. It's only a matter of time before the same thing happens to her that happened to-" he broke off before he could finish, watching as his older brothers face fell into unreadable emotion. "She ain't leaving my side," he spoke in monotone and Tommy only shrugged before pushing past him.
He made sure to shove his shoulder, walking over towards the militia group that waited with open arms. "You keep her safe, Joel. You keep her alive even if it means you die, because I don't ever wanna your goddamned face again — even if it's right next to hers," he spoke without anger but Joel could feel the family bond breaking. He let out a scoff and turned on his boot heel, walking briskly towards his own horse before settling on.
"You ready, Kiddo?" he asked her as Ryder looked back at Tommy. "He's not coming with us?" she asked and fixed her gun so it wouldn't bounce while they rode. "We're gonna come back for him a while down the road but for now it's just me and you, you got that? We're gonna look out for each other because I damn well ain't gonna let anything happen to you," he told her and Ryder nodded, watching as Joel kicked his horses side and bounded down the path. She turned to look at Tommy and the people around him one last time, blinking back the tears and confusion as he jogged forward and held something out for her.
"This is for you, got it Darling? Keep yourself safe and do whatever you gotta do to survive," he ordered and pealed the bow from his back, climbing into her horse halfway so he could help sit it over her back. "This too," he tucked his handgun into her bag as well as a box of bullet, giving her a kiss on her head before hopping down.
"I'll see you soon," Tommy told her, giving her a small thumbs up as she looked to see Joel stopped a few hundred yards ahead, waiting for her. "Bye Uncle Tommy," she bid her farewell as his heart beat so fast it was painful at the name. "See you soon Ryder," he watched as she kicked her horse with a 'hiyah!' and took off down the dirt path towards Joel, the lone brother walking back to his new family. "She wouldn't stay?" Marlene asked as Tommy shook his head, not bothering to tell her that he didn't even ask the girl. "Joel needs her if he's going to survive."
"That dumb bastard won't last a year, neither will she," Harley Hilt spat as Tommy refrained from pistol whipping the rugged woman. "Don't you dare talk about that little girl like that, you understand?" he was inches from her face and she nodded quickly as Tommy stalked off towards the compound. "We'll get her back eventually."
—
6 MONTHS LATER
Ryder and Joel were now holed up in some dilapidated hotel building, eyes always open and waiting for the infected. They'd had a few close calls in the past days, the most recent having been followed by the shots of the military.
The younger girl would never tell Joel that she missed Tommy dearly, hoping that one day, he'd join them again. Instead, she leant the fletching of her arrow rest against her cheek, taking a deep breath before she released her hold and watched it fly.
She hated the bow. She hated being reminded everyday that Tommy liked his new friends better than her and Joel, even if Joel was his brother. At the sound of creaking wood, Ryder spun, the nearly instant nock of an arrow while she drew it back.
Joel was impressed with how quickly she'd learned, even with his measly amount of help. Truth was, he couldn't stand to watch her with the weapon his own brother had given her before leaving them both.
"You're doing good, Kiddo. Real good," he praised the eleven year old with a forced smile, his eyes untouched by the feature. "No i'm not. I can barely hit the damn target!" she shouted in exasperation, throwing the bow to the floor as tears stung her eyes. "Watch your mouth, Ryder."
"Or what? You'll leave? Go ahead, Tommy already left. Who gives a shit anymore?"
Joel felt his heart break for the second time that day, the first having been when he watched the girl roll over, murmurs of his brother's name leaving her lips in a seemingly intense nightmare. He brought himself forward and pulled her into his arms, his hand wrapping behind her to pull her head into his shoulder.
Her much smaller body heaved with sobs, her arms wrapping around him as she felt her own heart break. Abandonment hurt just as much as death.
When she finally pulled away, Ryder picked up Tommy's bow and slung it over over her back. "I'm gonna go on down and check out that pharmacy. See if I can get in somewhere," she told him, stopping only when he scoffed. "Like hell you are, Kiddo. It's gettin' dark and you know we don't go out alone after dark," Joel told her firmly.
"It's barely sunset! I got at least an hour," Ryder argued with the older man almost viciously. If Tommy had given her one thing, it was the pure ferocity in his words.
"Goddamnit, Ryder, I said no!"
They both fell silent at the volume of Joel's voice, the man having never raised his voice so loud towards her since they'd met. She pulled her lip between her teeth and walked past him, slamming the wooden door behind her as she disappeared into the building somewhere.
Sitting it in silence, Ryder waited until she heard Joel's own door to shut that night before she crept from her room. Her feet moved quietly down the carpeted hallway, her body small enough to slip through the propped open, stairwell door.
When she'd made it at least a floor away from their setup, Ryder pulled her flashlight from her bag and threw the band over her head, flicking the light on. There was other sound around her as she waited a single moment, jumping over a missing chunk of the floor.
Her mind remained alert as she swung her gun side to side, the silencer they'd found months earlier screwed tightly on.
The lobby was the scariest part in the whole building with the glass blown out from nearly every side. It made her feel more vulnerable with the darkness surrounding it, the only light from the small headband she wore.
She clicked it off at the sound of footsteps and cries, creeping towards a lone runner that was leant over a dead soldier, tearing into his skin. Pulling her knife from her thighs, Ryder waited a moment before launching herself towards if, her knife going around runner's head and into his eye.
His body fell still as she helped lower it to the ground, scanning her surroundings before she took a deep breath and began a sprint down the street.
The pharmacy was only a block or so away, the girl reaching it in no time at all. She went straight past the front door, one barricaded by a silver gate, and disappeared into the alleyway. Little to Joel's knowledge, she'd been here nearly every night for the past week with the debate of whether she should throw a rock towards the small window about the dumpster and risk the noise or wait.
She was tired of waiting.
Ryder lifted a small chunk of brick form the ground a pulled her arm back, launching it through the air with a loud crash. She winced at the noise, clambering up to the broken glass as she tried her best to kick the majority away.
At the sound of approaching footsteps, Ryder froze. Then there were the clicks. A group of runners came flying around the building, followed by a pair of clickers who stumbled behind.
Ryder's panic made her messily enter the window, a protruding shard on glass ripping into her arm as it broke from the window. She fell into the darkness in a heap of pain, the landing sending the glass even deeper into her skin.
With a loud cry of pain, she cradled her arm to her chest, running her fingers over the shard with shudder. The runners tried their hardest to get up into the window, her blood keeping their attention and ruining all chance of her mistake.
Her hands were shaky as she gripped the glass, taking a deep breath before she pulled it from her arm with a flash of white hot pain.
And from up in the hotel, Joel slept soundly with a gun by his side, unbeknownst to the girl down below bleeding in the dark.