*Vik's Point of View*
On Thursday morning, I woke up to the sound of the birds chirping outside, though I couldn't see them – due to the closed curtains. Rolling over in bed, I glanced at the alarm clock, 11:52. Well looks like I'm not going to school today. Getting up, and slowly walking over to the wardrobe, I searched for something to wear. Settling on a pair of grey joggers, and a simple black t-shirt, I pulled them on, spraying myself with deorderant, and running my hands through my thick hair. Exiting my room, I headed for the bathroom, to do my business and brush my teeth.
Once my teeth had been brushed, and I had done my business, I headed downstairs, grabbing my dark blue hoodie from the coatrack, and my phone from the living room table, as well as my keys and wallet, before heading to the front door, slipping into my shoes before leaving the house – locking the door behind myself. As I walked down the path, I scrolled through my phone, checking Facebook, Twitter, and my texts. Seeing that my parents were going to be out of town for the next couple of months, and that they were sorry for not letting me know sooner. As I looked at my texts I noticed two from Landon, and several from Lewis. Opening Landon's first, I gave a shuddering breath. The first text was a picture, one of Landon, kissing Lachlan's cheek, while the taller boy blushed brightly. I felt my heart shatter at the picture. The message below it read: 'I guess we both fell for the same boy, I'm so sorry, Little Vik.'
I wanted to scream, and cry, and hide from the world. But I knew that I needed to be supportive of my friend. He would need that support if he was going to be dating that jock. So, quickly I typed a reply to him, saying that I was fine with it, and wishing him well. I then checked the texts from Lewis.
'Vik! Wait up!' I heard a voice call from behind me, startling me slightly, but nevertheless I turned around and faced the owner of the voice. It was Lewis.
'What are you doing, Lewis? Shouldn't you be at school?' I asked, trying to get an answer out of the boy, but not getting anything more than a sigh and a shake of the head.
'I needed to take the week off, been too stressed with everything...' Lewis replied, though he sounded distant. Like I did once upon a time, when I was madly in love with Lachlan.
'Oh, okay...what are you doing just now, then?' I asked, continuing to walk towards the mall. Hoping to get some food, and get some new clothes as well.
'I'm going to the mall to meet Simon, what about you?' Lewis asked, turning to look at me slightly, a soft smile on his lips.
'Oh, I'm just going to get some food...and possibly some new clothes...' I replied with a little giggle, hoping that my cheerfulness sounded real. And hoping that he hadn't tried to come to me the past couple of days. Because then he'd know. He'd know how hard it has been lately for me.
'Cool, well I've gotta get going, I might see you around then...' Lewis said, waving as he ran off ahead of me. Obviously, he was late to meet up with Simon.
The rest of the walk to the mall, I tried to keep my mind blank. I tried to think of nothing more than getting some new clothes, but as I approached the mall, I realised that I didn't want to go inside and that I wasn't very hungry. So, instead, I turned and headed towards a little park that I knew about. It wasn't too far from the mall, but it was quieter, and I could let it all out once more, without feeling other people's eyes judging me, as I walked around.
It was a cloudy day, and normally that wouldn't lead to much else, but there were some dark clouds hanging over head. Meaning that there was a strong chance of rain. A strong chance that the weather was going to match my mood. And that I would end up completely drenched by the rain, and by my tears. Upon, arriving at the small park, I found that it was deserted, as it always had been. And that meant that I could sit on one of the swings, that were once a bright red, with a dark blue seat – but now, with age and weathering had turned several shades lighter. I came here, once upon a time, and was happy, letting someone push me on a swing, making me soar into the air and plummet back into their arms, but now if I were to soar into the air, I would plummet to the ground, and for some reason that felt very appealing to me.
'Higher!' I squealed out, feeling the air whip at my face, and ruffle my hair. But I didn't care, I was happy. I was happy to be there, in the presence of someone that I loved so deeply.
'Okay,' Lachlan called out in a soft voice, gently pushing me a little higher. He was letting out little giggles at my squeals, and at that point I knew that I was with the one that I was head over heels for. Except, we weren't a thing, not yet anyway.
As the swing started to slow down, I watched as the tall blonde, walked over to the grass in front of the swing, laying down, and looking up at the sky, watching the clouds and birds that passed overhead. The beauty of the blonde boy overwhelmed me, making me feel the urge to snuggle up beside him.
'Vik...' Lachlan spoke softly, glancing over at me once more. 'I think I'm in love with someone...but I don't know if they'll accept me...' he finished.
'Well,' I said, standing and walking over to him, before laying down beside him. 'Have you told this person?' I finished, watching the clouds above us, and noticing that the sky was a deep blue. A rich colour. Something that was rare for the time of year.
'I just did...' Lachlan whispered out, glancing up at the sky, his voice sounding a little softer than normal.
'Well, I do accept you, Little Lachy.' I said, turning to consider the deep blue eyes of the tall blonde.
For a few short moments, I could see the shock settling into him, as he tried to hold back the tears. I gave a little giggle and cuddled into the boy's side, hoping that he would find some reassurance in the situation. And it seemed to work, as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him.
That seemed like a life time ago, when it was only a little of a year ago. But so much had happened since then, we had loved, we were in love, and know he's with someone else, someone who'll know how to treat him right, treat him like I never could. I know that. I know that I was never going to make him truly happy, that he wouldn't be able to be happy forever with me, and that he'd eventually leave me. But I hadn't expected it to come out of the blue, I had expected there to be signs that things weren't going right, signs that I needed to prepare for the end. But there was nothing.
Letting the tears fall once more, I felt my body give way, the pain almost unbearable. And the desire to end it all took over, I wanted to end my suffering, but I pushed that feeling back, forcing it down – and hoping that it never resurfaced.
The following morning, as I got up and dressed, I felt the pain slowly fade away, today was Friday after all, and after today there wouldn't be any school for a couple of weeks, so I could chill out, and play video games, and not have to go outside for a long while. Grabbing my backpack from the foot of my bed, I trudged downstairs, and towards the door. I slipped into my trainers, having gone with a very casual look today, some black shorts and a light grey tank top, with a black hoodie over the top of it. Nothing fancy. Nothing grand. Just something that was comfortable and would allow me to feel a little freer today.
Walking to the bus stop, for only the third time this week, I wondered why I was still trying with Landon and Lewis. It was clear that they wanted to be free. That they wanted to be themselves, and I was holding them back. So, as I stood, waiting for the bus, I contemplated setting them free. But I needed to know if that's what they wanted first. If that's what they truly needed in their lives, before I did anything drastic.
The bus pulled up, and I stepped on, taking a seat nearer to the back, as I no longer cared about myself. I didn't care if they bullied me, or if they called me names, or hit me, or just left me alone. I just didn't care anymore.
By the time the bus pulled up at the next stop on its journey, I had made my mind up, I was going to clear out my locker today, and then clear my mind of all the negative thoughts that I had been having recently. Checking the time on my phone, I gave a little sigh, it was only 7:43, meaning when the bus arrived at school at 8 I would have thirty minutes to myself. Before homeroom, before classes, before I had to concentrate, and explain where I had been for the past two days. I needed to just chill out, so I planned to head to the one place I felt the most comfortable, the woods behind the school. The same woods that the boys had demanded I go to the other day.
The bus stopped right outside of the school building, and I stepped off, noticing that none of the jocks were remotely interested in me. They were happily chatting away to each other. And it was almost like I no longer existed. Like I was no longer anyone's problem. That I was free. No longer a burden, no longer burdened. And that was all it took, that little bit of happiness for me to start a fresh, for me to go about my day without having to worry, without having to dart between classes, without having to zone out. Without having to explain how I was feeling, or why I was feeling that way. And that was amazing.