knock, knock, knock.
it was around two in the afternoon when the boys went to donghyun's house again. he wasn't in school, again.
when the door opened, it was his sister who stood behind it. "can i help you?"
"is donghyun home?" jibeom asked. "can we — "
"donghyun's asleep," she interrupted. "i'll tell him to give you a call."
without giving him a chance to reply, she shut the door. donghyun walked down, rubbing his eye.
"who's at the door?"
his sister shook her head. "you're still hanging out with them?" she asked. donghyun looked up in confusion. "i told you to stop."
donghyun frowned. "but they're my friends."
he headed towards the kitchen. she followed. "donghyun. you need to understand."
he looked over, opened the fridge. she almost never called him by his name.
"i'm not trying to ruin your life, alright?" she said, sighed. "i'm trying to help you. those guys can get you in trouble and you're not ready for that."
she walked over, grabbed the loaf of bread beside donghyun, started making him a sandwich.
"don't end up like dad, please," she continued without looking at him. "don't waste all i've done."
donghyun looked at the sandwich as she handed it to him.
"don't be sad. you can't be sad."
he didn't look up. "why not?"
"you're always smiling." she shrugged, put everything back into place. "it's weird if you don't."
donghyun bit into the sandwich, went up to his room. he didn't feel like listening anymore.
after he finished it, brushed off the crumbs, jaehyun called. he picked it up, and the first thing he heard was, "are you okay?"
"yeah," he replied without much thought.
"um, can we video call?" jaehyun asked. "i know it sounds strange, but your smile cheers me up."
donghyun sniffed. "yeah."
he accepted his video call request. his vision blurred up.
"oh my god, donghyun..." jaehyun trailed off.
donghyun wiped his tears away. "what?"
"nothing! just...i mean, you look so," he paused, "you look so...not okay."
he plastered on a smile. "i'm fine."
"cry," jaehyun instructed. donghyun frowned, puzzled. "just cry. i won't judge."
donghyun covered his eyes, blinked and blinked and blinked. "no."
"donghyun — "
"i won't cry," he insisted. "i'm fine."
jaehyun stared, no specific emotion on his face. he watched as donghyun frantically tried to wipe the tears that refused to stop falling. as though it was a crime for him to cry.
"dong — "
"can i end the call?" donghyun suddenly said, sniffed. "i don't want my sister to come."
jaehyun frowned, but nodded. "you'll be okay?"
"yeah," donghyun replied, a habit. he forced a laugh, hoped it was convincing enough. "i'm always fine, aren't i?"