~Robin~
The Relationship Ends.
Warning: Strong Language.
I had gotten up late this morning. Not surprising, seeing how late I got in, or how late I had actually fallen asleep. The house was still quiet, for the most part. I knew Gran and Ben were downstairs, starting the day with lots of hazy sounds and chatter here and there, but upstairs- silence. My mood felt out of place with the energy of the house. A happy home, contrasting to my miserableness.
Pitifully, I was a mess.
My eyes began to burn. A real mess, alright. I didn't feel like I had slept at all. I was numb, and lost, as well as dumb struck by how quickly things had changed. I needed to break out of it, but for now, I was more than happy to wallow in self pity. Right now, I was lost to the thoughts and I certainly had a lot to think about.
It was for the best, I kept telling myself.
It was never a good relationship. Red flags everywhere sort of deal. Not what I should have been chasing after, but I had been, regardless. No matter what I said to convince myself, it still hurt. No one can stop themselves from falling for Mr. wrong and I was no exception. I had known, somewhat, that it was a shit relationship and that I would have been better off with just about anyone but that was probably why people say love is blind. You willingly ignore it all. No matter how much it sucked.
And boy did it suck.
I had things to do, important things. Things that a day ago I would have only put off for an emergency. Today however, I sat on my bed, looking blankly at the dark screen of my phone. No new messages. No calls. Nothing since late last night. Just my worn out reflection gazing back at me. I was lost. Or at least, inexperienced in break ups to know what to do. I had no one to call. Looking at it now, one of those aforementioned red flags, my friends just had to be his friends. They were all his friends. No doubt they all knew already and yet not one person, not one of the girls I thought had been my friends had messaged to ask about or comfort me.
Just radio silence.
And suddenly, that silence spoke volumes.
I opened the phone. I was torturing myself, I knew that, but I couldn't help re-reading them. I was so angry, too. I had done this to myself, yes, but more so him. I had ignored the red flags, stupidly, but he had placed them. Placed them, waved them, paraded them around, hell he probably could have shoved them up his ass and I think I would have ignored them. No matter what I felt, I had to remember it was him, he was the one to blame. My rose tinted glasses had smashed and now I saw him now for what he was.
A scumbag cheater.
I scrolled back to last night.
ADAM <3
8.58 Sun
Robs where you at?? Wat was that?!
8.59 Sun
For fucks sake answer! This is dumb AF!
9.02 Sun
Are you kiddin me right now?? Answer me!!
9.05 Sun
Dont fucking blame me for anything ive done fuck all wrong!!
9.10 Sun
I was drunk!! I didnt kiss her! She kissed me and now im the bad guy??!! Answer so we can sort this!!
I sighed as I read them. Lies, all lies. It was exhausting, knowing now what I knew when less than a day ago I had been riding cloud nine blissfully unaware. The audacity alone wore me down. Caught red handed and he truly believed he could lie his way out of it all.
Just a kiss...
If only it was just a kiss, some girl, too drunk to realise the guy she was hitting on was pushing her away. Not a friend who had always been overly close. Always touching, always flirting. Even when I brought it up, I got told the same story.
She's just a friend with boundary issues...
10.55 Sun
I will kill that Josh!! Carly is JUST a friend! Im not going through this jealousy bullshit all the time Robin!!
I made a mental note to thank Josh. While sober Josh was a bit of a prick, an all round jock type who talked about himself too much, that apparently liked filming his best friend have their other 'friend' go down on him in the middle of a club toilet, drunk Josh appeared to have a conscience. Or at the very least, be dumb enough to think it was a good idea to out the friend he just filmed cheating.
Carly was most definitely NOT just a friend.
Josh had spilled it all. It was just a game. He liked playing both fields. Even if one of them knew. It stung. Stung and made me feel hollow and dumb and kind of used. Disgusted with myself.
Well, I wasn't playing. These were real emotions for me, just not for him. Everyone had seen it... apart from me.
Mum hated him and that was saying something. Gran all but told me to leave him and Ben, well, Ben kept quiet and smiled, but he always would, no matter if he liked him or not. That was his thing. Support, no matter what. I should have listened. Adam was far from perfect and I knew no one was, but he was too far from perfect. I just wish I had seen that and not stupidly put love first.
To top it off, his last message had basically been asking for an open relationship. He'd gone on, blabbering like he was telling some great story of a man in love with two women. Torn in two and left to make an impossible choice.
Fuck him.
That was his choice made.
All this drama and all of his sheep followers could keep it to themselves. Carly seemed desperate enough to degrade herself in a public toilet and I had no doubt she would count it as a win. Ironically, I was, too. I didn't need the messages from people saying sorry. Offering a shoulder to cry on, empty words of comfort or sympathy. Where were they when they knew and said nothing? And I didn't need a manipulative cheater, either.
No, I had work to do. Things to get done. I would be over this in no time.
Picking the nearest box to me, the smallest one with some of my books in, I set to work on what I could. The book case was already here but full of older books, many from when I was a kid. I had to sort through, make space and decide what definitely couldn't stay.
A mundane task just to keep my mind off of things.
It worked too. To a degree. My thoughts would bounce back and forth but it was bearable. I eventually got lost enough. I loved looking at all the old books I had read as a child. So many Winnie the Pooh books. All of them with memories of Gran or Ben attached. They were so different to the books I read now. Murders, adventure, books that made my toes curl with spiciness. The more I placed on the shelves the happier I felt. I had stopped reading, mostly, because of him. The idea that now I could dive back in where I left off, open up to the book marks of stories I had enjoyed but never had a moments peace to read, it made me feel better. Perhaps I would feel like myself again.
I smiled.
Yeap, I could go back to being me. Something I realised I had stopped being a while ago.
Yet, despite myself, I kept glancing back.
My phone led silently on the night stand. No messages. No calls. Yet it was a tik-toking sensation that I needed to pick it up before time ran out. A sense of urgency but nothing to rush to.
Taking a moment to look around the room I picked up the next box. I guess this would go on until I was either done or something happens.
Whichever happened first.
Whichever I could handle.
............
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear for the thousandth time, only for it to fall back again when I turned. I made a face. Fuck! I could feel the heat rising as my heart rate skyrocketed. I had swept the room, multiple times, yet to no avail. It was here! There was no other place it could be. kneeling down, I was ready to look under the bed again despite knowing it was empty under there.
Frustration growing, I growled out a curse. Nothing, not even dust bunnies.
"Where the hell are you?"
The hair fell forwards, again and I yanked it with more gusto than needed. I was almost ready to pull it from my head altogether. This was the last thing I needed. The last I remembered, it was sat neatly on a box, ready to go. Where it should be now, but it wasn't.
Running my hand through my hair pulled the strands loose again and as they fell over my eyes I couldn't stop myself from closing them and taking a deep breath. Ready for a breakdown.
For the love. of. GOD!
It had everything in it. My time table. My books. My supplies. Everything I needed NOT to lose. As if things hadn't been going shit enough. This was going to be a great first impression. Hi, my names Robin! I have nothing you asked me to bring! What the hell were they going to think?
Better yet, Mum would have a field day. I could hear her, condescending tone and all...
'When I was your age, we always made sure we were on time, we always had our things... we always...' bla bla bla.
Maybe it had fallen? Dropped into a box? I had moved so much around last night it could have been in any one of them. Maybe it was-
"Looking for this?"
I jumped, completely unaware anyone had walked in.
"You left it by the front door, after you rushed in and burst into tears. Which, by the by, no pressure to talk about. When you're ready. OK? Just let us know that you're alright, so Sally can stop the stress knitting? I've already got half a very itchy looking jumper made for me". Ben said, scratching his neck while holding out my bag.
Suddenly, the memory of placing it on top of a box was replaced by the much more fresher memory of my dropping it the moment I got the door open and ran in. Bugger.
My hand shook this time as I rather timidly tucked the hair away.
"Yeah..." I said, sighing. "I did that, didn't I?"
Ben nodded solemnly. The bag slowly twisted side to side, before he lifted the bag onto his shoulder, tucking it in.
"Or, if not I could always use it myself." A smile tugged in the corner of his mouth. "I'd make a very handsome woman, in my opinion." The sentence was left hanging in the air. He wasn't wrong. He also wasn't wrong that I had to let them know. I'm sure they would figure it out, if they hadn't already.
It was probably written all over my face because Ben made a quick change of subject.
"Anyway, Sal's made us a slap up breakfast but she woke hungry as a hell hound so if you want anything then you best be quick. Woman eats like a hippo sometimes! Even I can't stop her, nearly lost a hand once..."
For dramatic effect he wiggled his free hand out, the scars running the length of his hand. Old but you could still see how serious they'd been. Anyone who didn't know how they'd happened could have believed they'd been an animal bite.
I looked him dead in the eyes, keeping the best straight face I could manage.
"Well. At least I know where mum's big mouth comes from..."
We kept eye contact for a few seconds, waiting for the other to give. Straight away, I saw his lower lip start to quiver. I caved. I couldn't help laughing even though I felt like shit.
"Never tell them we made these jokes, they'd kill us!"
I nodded.
"Agreed."
I took the bag from his hand, unable to stop a little smile. I should have known if anyone in this world would make me feel better, it would be Ben. My entire life he had brought me comfort in my hours of need.
When you had a narcissist mother and an absent father, grand parents like Ben and Sally filled a void few could. It was anyone's guess how two great people could raise someone like my mother.
Not that they weren't without their faults.
But no, I couldn't imagine life with any other Grandparents. A different mother, maybe, but not Sally or Ben.
I guess they deserved to know what happened, simply for that. They had clearly spent the night worrying. Even if the thought of saying his name or what he'd done left a bad taste in my mouth.
"You were right. All of you. He wasn't worth it". Despite wanting to spill everything and get it off my chest, that was all I could get out.
Ben frowned, sadness and understanding already there.
"Don't worry. If its over its over. No matter what he did, he messed up. Because he didn't know what he had and now he's lost it. Trust me. Once he realizes being that kind of guy only gets him that kind of ending, he'll understand what he took for granted and want you back. By then you'll have found yourself a man who knows what he has and treats you right. Now you know what kind of guys to stay away from." He said, pulling me into a hug.
As I went to speak, the words were struck down by the sudden desire to burst into tears. Again my hands trembled, I felt so weak unable to stop that from happening. Stuck without a way to express myself other than standing there, with hot tears betraying my attempt to hold it all back, I hugged him back, tighter.
Who knows how long I cried while Ben just held me. No words. Just the comfort I desperately needed right now. Eventually I calmed enough to speak, even if I didn't manage to cover up the shaking in my voice.
"Thanks. I'm gonna pass on breakfast, I think, I'll get something to go. I don't want to be late. Besides, I'm sure all the good stuff is gone by now. Or most of it." I said, through sniffles.
Smiling, his hand rubbed my back in a soothing way.
"Yeah... we'll be lucky if she hasn't eaten the plates by now".
............
Finally!
The cold air swirled up the first few fallen leaves of the year and brushed them around his legs, a wild coldness of the winter yet to come hitting his skin. He didn't give a shit though. The snow would come and go, no doubt, but all he cared for was that it had happened! Finally.
The boy was out of the picture, and by his own fault no less. There had been a hanging question mark over his fate. Many agreed that if the time came, he would have simply been removed. Though the Master seemed dead set against that for whatever reason. If it had been his woman, that boy and the degrading personality he carried with him would have been relocated before the first kiss. Permanently.
Thankfully, it was one less headache to deal with.
With the trouble maker gone the coven had a chance to settle down. There had practically been an 'itch' eating away at everyone. Uncertainty was rife. Yes, hopefully now things would die down. God, did they need to die down.
Maybe now, the Master would make his move?
One could only live in hope.
It was an honor to be chosen to protect her, one seldom given to anyone other than the Master and it had cemented his status in the coven for good. However, all the endless nights, sitting, watching, never letting his guard down, was not how he had envisioned his eternal life playing out.
Perhaps now, with the boy gone and the girl clearly ready to court, he would take the necessary actions. She was strong enough, smart enough and lord knew the coven craved the unity she would bring. He couldn't see any reason as to why not.
After all, some were starting to question her absence.
Some sympathy could be had. Just like many before her this life would be thrust upon her with little regard to weather she liked it or not or what she would be forced to leave behind. Yet just like all those before, she would adjust and come to love it.
He was sure of it.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Almost as sure as he was that that was her heart beat. She had yet to round the corner. Young and strong, her blood pumped fast. It was no surprise to anyone that she was born to be a Bride. Nature had a tendency to line up humans perfect by nature to be so. Without doubt, she would lead the coven to future glory. Fresh blood. If you could see past the dark humored pun, she was the help they all needed to modernize their lives and step forward away from the dark ages so many vampires seemed to be stuck in.
Even now, just by being alive, she was the future they needed. The Bride. The mother. The only chance they had. It was a startling thought that everything rested on her shoulders and worse still, that she had no idea.
He watched.
The moment she left the view of the sentinel down the road, she would fall under his watch, his guard and his responsibility. He was surprised by her presence, not expecting her return so soon, but he gathered from the scowl on her face, something had gone awry.
.........
My bag left my hand and instantly I clenched my teeth, the sound of impact on the floor more than a thud. Jesus, I had to chill. I was going to do something if I kept this up. I would either break something or burst a blood vessel.
"Robin, is that you love?" Grans voice called out from the kitchen. It was followed by a cacophony of weird noises. Like someone crumpling paper up, followed by a drawer slam.
"Yeah, I'm back." I said, hanging my coat up. Oddly, it sounded like more drawers shut, the squeak of the wood making my ears hurt even from here.
"Is everything OK?" I slipped my shoes off, listening in.
There was a long pause, a muffled swear and the jiggling of the wonky drawer and for a moment my heart skipped. What else could go wrong?
"Not skipping class already are you?" Gran yelled, the accusation not so light in her voice.
I rolled my eyes. Yes, the first day is the best to do that on, or so they say.
"You're one to talk!" Ben's voice shouted from the front room. I stopped mid walk as my eyes went wide.
I imagined he was sat down, hand over mouth realizing what he had started. Out of the kitchen Gran strolled past me, a slipper in hand.
"Hello, love."
Disappearing from sight, the audible 'whack' followed shortly.
"Ouch, woman! It's true! Don't hit me!"
Reappearing with the slipper on, I wasn't surprised at all.
"Just because it's true doesn't mean you have to say it! You used to skip with me as well, if I recall." Gran winked, her smile wide like it always was when she recalled times from their school days.
"Because you made me! Damn it, you're lucky I love you!"
"Ignore your grandfather's interference. What's wrong love? All jokes aside you aren't skipping, are you? It's a bad habit to have." Gran said leaning on the door frame to the front room.
"Then why'd you skip so much back in the day? I know how much you ditched school. I was in all your classes!"
The teasing tone was clear this time, clear enough for me to pick up on it anyway. Whether or not Gran did, after all these years of marriage I believe she did. She sighed. The air filled her cheeks before slowly leaving. A look of exasperation in her eyes. In the blink of an eye the slipper was back in her hand as she quickly rounded into the front room.
I didn't hang round to listen to the slap. It never really hurt him. He just loved to tease her. They had the kind of relationship I could only dream of. The kind I had foolishly believed I'd had.
I sat at the kitchen table. Reminding myself of what had happened had suddenly made me tired. Emotionally drained. How long was this going to last? Couldn't I just be done with it?
Gran sat down, her Tablet on the table now back in her hands. Such a simple thing but a distraction I would kill for.
"So," She said after starting a new game of something, "why are you here? Not that I wouldn't love you to be here all the time and not be wasting your life in a college or work, but you yourself said moving here would make it easier?"
Her brow raised.
Attention on her game I knew it was taking everything she had not to bombard with questions about everything. My fingers twisted the end of the tablecloth.
"I never made it through the doors. They turned everyone away. Apparently they were trying to reach as many as they could but the power went out this morning for the entire block," I watched Grans eyes quickly look my way, judging on my behalf no doubt, "I could have had a lay in." Not like the summer hadn't been full of those. At the very least I could have had breakfast. Or what had been left of it.
Placing the Tablet down, Gran leaned in. For a second my eyes caught site of all the grey hairs coming through the dye. A bit of a shock. I never noticed how age was catching up to her. She never showed it.
"It won't be long before your wishing for these things. Enjoy it. Besides! First day is nothing but introductions and ice breakers and bla bla bla. One day wont mean anything. Don't tell your grandfather this, but like he said I skipped a lot back in the day and look at me! Got where I needed to be. A good home, an amazing family and a husband who's ego would swell if he knew he was right..."
"I heard that!"
Startled, we both jumped. The tablet nearly falling from Grans hands.
"Damn it, Ben! You scared the living daylights out of us! Of course you heard, your ears are big enough! Listening in like that!"
I laughed under my breath. These two were like nothing I've ever known. Romeo and Juliet had nothing.
Shaking my head I stood.
"Well, I can't stay here listening to you two all day. I guess I should finish unpacking. I should be done by dinner time if I start now. If you need me, just yell."
I saw a twitch of a smile in the corner of Grans mouth, but ignored it. No doubt she had a comeback brewing in her brain to throw Ben's way.
"OK love. See you soon."
Well. OK then. I ignored how weird that sounded. Who knows what was going on inside that head of hers.
Though at the top of the stairs when I saw my door ajar, knowing I closed it, I suddenly wished I knew.
Holding my breath, the door swung open with a push. It didn't take long to notice what they'd been up to.
"DAMN IT YOU TWO!"