Hey guys!!! New BxB, so ya know, if you don't like BxB (boy on boy action) then click out, wanna write something mean on my comment board? I'll send my evil grimlins to rape your nostrils in the middle of the night. Lovies to my fans!!! Shout out to FireworkMonkey, she's so cool! Go check her out! Oh and someone help me find someone to play Dorian!!!!
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Mr. Cellophane
If I were invisible, not really that much about my life would change. Sure, I had two parents a little sister and a twin brother, I went to a public school with lots of other kids with the same interest as me, I mean, who didn't know about Korn and Mayday Parade? How many teenaged guys liked skate boarding and cars? I know not many guys my age enjoy reading, but I mean, come on, surely I wasn't the only one? Either way I was a loner, I blended in to the furniture, the walls, the crowd...I wondered if I died, would any one notice I was gone?
Meet Dorian Alexander, a seventeen year old nobody. He feels more invisible every day, lost as a drop of rain in the ocean, unnoticed and unloved by everyone. His own twin sometimes forgets he exist. Dorian had decided that if this was all life would ever give him, there was no point in living, but just as he puts the finishing touches on his suicide note in the middle of class, it flies out of his hands and in to the hands of the new kid.
Vincent Saunders was your average teenage guy in almost every way, decently popular, well liked and well mannered, athletic and dreamed of running his own garage-chain one day; he thought himself a pretty lucky guy until his parents had the roughest, nastiest divorce in the history of divorces. After moving to the other side of the country with his mom and little brother, some of Vince's natural charisma faded and he found himself a little less out going and a little more observant, all he wanted in life was something to get his mind off of his home troubles. After making his wish, one of the students sitting by the window opens it and a piece of paper flew off another students desk, landing squarely in front of Vince, to his horror, it's a suicide note...
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If I were invisible, not really that much about my life would change. Sure, I had two parents a little sister and a twin brother, I went to a public school with lots of other kids with the same interest as me, I mean, who didn't know about Korn and Mayday Parade? How many teenaged guys liked skate boarding and cars? I know not many guys my age enjoy reading, but I mean, come on, surely I wasn't the only one? Either way I was a loner, I blended in to the furniture, the walls, the crowd...I wondered if I died, would any one notice I was gone? I made up my mind that it didn't matter, I couldn't take it any more. My shaking hands reached forward, pausing with my hands clenched on the edge of the mirror, I stared into my own gray eyes, noting my pale complexion and inky black hair.
I was awful looking, I guess some of my features were attractive, but I looked sick with the dark bags under my eyes and in just the last seven months I had dropped weight dramatically, I was 5'9 and barely weighed 98 pounds. My identical twin brother, who wasn't so identical anymore with his healthy weight and glowing tan, brushed past me in to the bathroom, muttering a polite sentiment that wasn't really meant for me, but the person he was on the phone with, completely missing the fact that I was clutching a large bottle of painkillers still full to the brim.
Ever sense I came out it was like I had died. No one really spoke directly to me, nor did they look at me, in the halls a foot wide bubble stayed in tact, there was no teasing or bullying, hell, that would've made my whole life worth living, at least then I wouldn't question if I were already dead...
I took them to my room and swallowed them all in sets of four until the bottle was empty then made my way down stairs and walking out the door, heading for school for the last time, a ghost of a smile playing on my lips.
~1 hour later~
'Dear Mom and Dad,' I wrote.
'I don't really know if this will be hard for you or not, seeming as how you never really notice me anymore, so this may or may not affect you in any way, but'--I scribbled out the line I had written and began again. 'This is what I want. I can't take being invisible anymore, I'm tired of being treated like cellophane. I love you both very much, and try not to blame yourselves, don't bother thinking back, because I never did show any signs of depression', okay, now that was a lie, I had even talked about killing myself at the dinner table in front of God, Miranda, Dillon and everybody, but all mom had mustered was a "that's nice, dear" without even looking up from her plate. 'There's about six thousand dollars in my sock drawer that I've saved up from working at Fat Fonz, I want you to put it in Miranda's college fund and a stack of painting by my bed that I guess you can do what you want with. Miranda's only four so chances are she won't remember me, please don't tell her I ever existed, I don't want her ever thinking that I didn't love her enough to stick around to see her grow up. Somehow, after having made the decision to kill myself, I feel more peaceful now than I have in years. You've been great parents, I hate that we've grown so far apart in the last year, if I could've changed who I was and been straight for you I would have, I figured if I was going to hell anyway, why prolong my torturous waste of a joke my life has become?' I began writing past tense, thinking about death fondly, finally the sweet abyss of darkness drew me nearer as the entire bottle of Oxycontin I had swallowed this morning before school reached my blood stream. 'To save the Coroner the trouble I'll go ahead and tell you that I OD'd on the pain pills I got four months ago for my sprained wrist, I thought it ironic that the pain killers finally did their job and killed my pain. As I write this, I'm dying, I highly doubt I'll even make it to third period, it's only first and already I can feel the numbness in my fingers...I only wish I could've been a better son, and I wish I could've heard you tell me you love me like you used to before I came out of the closet. Because even though you stopped loving me, I never stopped loving you.' I wiped away a stray tear from my cheek, sniffing quietly as I signed my name and glanced around at the guys and girls surrounding me who used to be my friends. 'With all my love, Dorian Alexander'. Not two desk away from me sat Grey Hood, we were best friends for seven years before I came out at the beginning of the summer before Senior year, all of the sudden he didn't even know my name. To his right sat Kimberly Gainer, my ex-girlfriend, she was the girl I had dated for three years...she wouldn't even look my way. To my immediate left sat Dillon, my twin brother, I think the last words he had said to me was two days ago, he'd said "excuse me" as he scooted past me in to the bathroom for his morning shower. The last thing mom said was "don't forget your backpack" the last thing dad said was "sinner."
The tears flowed quietly and freely down my cheeks as my mind began it's slow decent in to death, I was nauseous and jittery, making me wonder why people ever wanted to feel like this--I hated it.
Mrs. Gallo asked Stephan Green, my old party wing-man to open the window, as it was getting hot in the room and my vision swam, having nothing to do with the tears. A gust of wind swept right to my desk, ruffling my hair as if death himself had come to ask if I were ready yet.
Another gust hit and my note went fluttering off my desk, flying behind my head, my numbed fingers no match for the papers leisurely speed. Nobody even glanced, I was a leper and looking at me or touching anything belonging to me would spread my disease. It landed on the desk of the new boy, he'd been here a week and already half the student body knew his name and smiled happily at him as he passed, hell, he'd even been to my house to see Dillon...what was his name? I fought to remember, completely forgetting that it was rude to stare, no one seemed to mind if I stared or not, they could ignore me just fine as long as I didn't try talking to them.
My brain seemed to fog over as I gazed at him and the paper in his strong tanned fingers, he was so pretty, with dark chestnut hair and a strong face, his lean body seemed to just add to his height and appeal.
Vincent...my mind whispered; his name was Vincent.
His furious cobalt blue eyes met mine after they had sped over the words on the page, horror etched deep in their depths.
I gasp, shocked, did he...look at me?
In the eye?
Did he know, was it on purpose?
Vincent shot up from his desk, stopping only long enough to shove the paper in his bag and pull out his car keys before grabbing my arm and bag before tossing me over his shoulder and running to the parking lot. I jolted, it had been so long sense someone had touched me kindly, I had forgotten the feel of it. I didn't remember the electric tingles, the sensation of pure bliss rushing through my veins. I decided if I was going to die that this was how I wanted it to be, feeling like someone cared, holding someone tightly and having them cling to me just as tightly, so I clung to his broad shoulders making believe that he was my lover, my boyfriend and I was dying of a stab wound, no, cancer, that was more romantic...
I murmured words to him in my altered state of mind, loving the fact that he was responding to everything I said, the worry in his voice and the tears in the back of his throat-- it added to the beautiful illusion I had written for myself. "You can see me...?" I ask dreamily as he lowered me in to the passenger seat of a car I assumed was his.
"Of course I can see you!" he croaked, looking pained.
He's upset because I'm dying, I told myself.
"You read my letter..." my words weren't quite as enunciated as I wanted them to be, it was as if I had peanut butter on the roof of my mouth.
"That's why I dragged you out here, if I told the teacher she'd tell the principal who would call an ambulance, then they'd take twenty minutes, something tells me we don't have that much time to spare so I just...grabbed you. Sorry if I startled you." he peeled out, not even pausing at the yellow lights and stop signs.
"Can I hold your hand?" If I weren't stoned and dying, I would've never had the nerve to ask him such a thing, but now, as I lay dying next to him, I felt no shame or fear of rejection.
He grabbed my left hand, squeezing tightly, "You're going to be okay, I'm gonna get you some help and you're gonna be okay." he told me, dampening my spirits until I remembered my lie, that I was dying of cancer and he was my life partner.
"You're so nice, I really hope you end up with someone as wonderful as you...you deserve all the happiness the world has to offer. The only time it wouldn't be a crime for you to cry is if they're tears of joy or passion..." I rambled, staring deeply at the right side of his face. "But, is it okay if I love those tears in your eyes right now? Is it okay if I tell myself it's because you care if I live or die?"
"God, yes, I'm crying because I'm afraid you'll die, you don't have to lie to yourself, it's true!" he wailed, racing closer to the hospital as I edged closer to my last breath.
A broken sob left my chest. "God bless you...in those simple words you made the last miserable year of my life worth living...I only hope that I can die now, so that I can die so happy...I know you're probably just doing what you think any person should do in this situation, but it's really touched me. From the second you looked at me I knew....just like I know now..." my words slurred together as he sped up to the Emergency Entrance of the hospital. "If the doctors drag me back to life kicking and screaming...I'll always and forever love you for caring even though you know I'm gay, even if it's only for these precious few minutes I've shared with you...I wanna be selfish, so can I have one last thing?" I begged shamelessly.
"Anything!" he swore, screeching to a halt and going for our seat belts with fumbling fingers.
"Be my first and last kiss?" his hands stilled on my buckle and his head came up, his blue eyes looking deeply into my gray ones. He held my face gently between his palms and leaned forward, studying my face intently just like I wanted him to right before his head descended and his lips met mine in a tender passionate kiss. He drew back and I opened my heavy eyelids just long enough to smile my thanks before I lost consciousness.
{Vince}
"Hey!" I cried as he fell away from me in to the seat. "No, no, no, no, no!" I begged, finally freeing him from the restraints and pulling him to me, cradling him to my chest as I flew out of my car, no caring if they towed it. Right now, my new friends' brother was dying! Plus, it was the fist guy I had ever kissed as a newly discovered bisexual and it would kill me to watch him die. "HELP! I NEED HELP NOW! PLEASE HE'S DYING!" I screamed, running right in and resting his small frame on the reception desk.
The startled nurse looked horrified at Dorian then began calling out on the speakers, "Code blue in the E.R, I repeat, Code blue!" she paused long enough to look at me, "Do you know what happened?"
"He downed a bottle of Oxycontin before school, I found his suicide note." I told her truthfully, speaking as quickly as I could.
Doctors came barreling around a corner just then and I raced to them, they quickly changed direction, shouting questions at me as they had me lay him on a stretcher and put an oxygen mask over his face. I told them I was his boyfriend so they wouldn't kick me out while they pumped his stomach, so I could be there for this wounded boy and hold his hand while they forced the pills out, making him vomit over and over again as he whimpered and tears fell down his face. "No!" he whispered at one point, "please, let me die!" but I was the only one to hear it.
"Shh," I murmured, stroking sweaty locks of hair out of his face between the doctors pushing a tube down his throat. "I'm right here, baby, I'm not going anywhere, you're not alone anymore!"
One of the younger nurses burst in to tears at the little scene, saying that she only wished someone loved her like that. The no nonsense doctor kicked her out at that point, begging me to refrain from such statements until Dorian was out of the woods.
"I hate needles!" he croaked, cringing in to me after there were no more pills in his stomach.
I grabbed his forearm, holding it steady for the doctor, kissing his temple as he winced evading the needle for the fourth time. "They have to, Dorian, you need the fluid in there to be okay." I told him softly.
"But..." he protested, weakly.
"If you let them hook up the IV, I'll stay here with you all night." I promised, looking at the doctor for confirmation that this would be okay.
"Anything to have him let me put in the IV." he said, smiling reassuringly at the fragile boy in my arms. After having his stomach pumped, Dorian refused to lie in the hospital bed, saying it was scary, so I got up there with him and he curled up on my lap like a frightened kitten. Dorian buried his face in my chest and held out his hand bravely.
I called his parents an hour later, but they said it sounded like the hospital had everything covered. That they'd fax the insurance information. Fury burned brightly inside of me at their lack of caring, one of their son's came a breath away from death and all they offered was insurance information. I could've spat in their faces without a hint of remorse. Obviously Dorian had lied in his letter when he said they were good parents.
"I guess you're the one I talk to...?" The doctor whispered as I untangled Dorian from my waist to follow the doctor out of the room. "I'm Dr. Monroe, I'll be the one keeping an eye on your...boyfriend?" I nodded and he continued. "Well, it doesn't look good, he's not in critical condition from the pills alone, it looks like he's been being abused from somewhere, I can't tell if they're self inflicted bruises, or what it is, but...well, also there serious malnutrition and....this is going to be pretty hard for you to hear, but after finding the bruises on the back of his arms we went ahead and checked the rest of him when you went to call his parents, let me ask you, how long have you been seeing eachother?"
"Um, well, we only starting dating today." Dr. Monroe flinched and directed me to sit on the other side of his desk.
"I can tell you care a great deal for the boy..."
"He's my new everything." I said truthfully. I'd only been here a week, but ever sense the first time I saw him in the hall on my first day I had liked him, was intrigued by the haunted look in his eye.
"Well, first off, I have to point out that he's painfully under weight, at his age and height he should be somewhere in the neighborhood of a minimum of 130-140, but he's weighing in at 98 pounds, plus there's evidence of emotional trauma, so I'm suggesting counseling during and after his mandatory three day suicide watch. I don't know the full situation but he seems to be painfully co-dependent and self-loathing, but I'd say you could fix that faster than someone asking about his childhood, so you can tell him that he doesn't have to talk about that with his counselor. Here comes the really bad news, so you might want to brace yourself," he paused while I took a shaky breath, pulling this all in. "...wherever he's been....he's been being physically and sexually abused." The world swam and I immediately fell to my knees in front of the little waste bin beside the doctors desk, vomiting violently.
"Oh, my god..." I moaned, pinching the bridge of my nose to stop the tears threatening to come out. Someone was...dear god in heaven.
"We've run his blood and thankfully, whoever it is hasn't passed anything to him." The doctor continued hesitantly after I gave him a 'go ahead' signal. "If you can, please try to find out who it is, as it is he needs to leave wherever it is he's staying--now I won't report it to the police until tomorrow morning, because if you've only been here two weeks, there's no way it's you, but it really isn't something I as a doctor or a father can just stand by and ignore." Dr. Monroe gave one last sympathetic pat on the shoulder before ducking his head and moving on to the next crisis.
The whole world was a dark spinning hole of rage and mortification, someone has been....raping Dorian? The only possible choices I could see were Dillon and Mr. Alexander, because those were the only people I saw him flinch around. The only men I ever saw him around.
I whipped out my cell phone and dialed my mom's emergency line. "This better be good, young man." My mother dry tone greeted me from the other end of the line.
"I'm at the hospital."
"Oh, my god, Vince! I'll be right there! Where are my fucking keys?!"
"Mom! MOM! It's not me that's hurt, it's a friend...look, mom, I need to beg a favor of you..."
"Vincent Lee Saunders you scared the life out of me! I should beat you!"
"Yeah, yeah, when I get home, but look, this is serious." my mother sobered instantly.
"Let's hear it."
"M-my friend, well...he can't stay where he's been staying and I think he might need a lawyer..."
"What happened? You didn't fall for a thug, did you sweetie? Because I will happily tie her to a rock and drop her down the Marina's Trench."
"No, mom, I didn't fall for a thug, I fell for a boy who's being abused at home."
"Oh, my god!" she gasp and I could hear her keys jingling and her hissing fervently at her secretary to hold all her calls that she had to leave the office immediately.
"I haven't gotten around to asking him who yet, but once I have it out of him, I want that asshole in jail until they rot to death." I ground out between clenched teeth, pounding my fist hard against the tiled walls, making a deep black bruise to fade quickly over my tanned knuckles and the wall to crack slightly.
"You got it, babies. And If you don't mind sharing a room until I buy a bed for the guest room I have absolutely no issue with him moving in with us, I'm positive that Micky won't mind having another role model to trail after all moon-y eyed."
"Thanks mom..." I whispered, touched that there were no other questions or concerns.
"What's his name?"
"Dorian Alexander, he's seventeen, I think, and there's not a single person in school that talks to him, not even the teachers, mom. Nobody acknowledges his existence except whoever has been...." my throat closed over a sob and possibly another bout of bile.
"Whoever had been what, Vince?"
"Please don't make me say it..." I begged, my voice raw.
She gasp, obviously understanding what it was I couldn't say. "I'll be there in six minutes. I love you, Vince."
"Love you too, mom."
I hung up the phone and marched back to Dorian's room, slipping as quietly through the door as I could before I heard the sobbing.