*Note: Guess it's the end of my story.
It's kind of bitter. But also good at the same time. I did it. I make choices for my life. Yes, it was painful to break up with Sammy. It still hurt me when I think about it, but I did make a decision for our relationship. I am super indecisive, I am just glad I can come up with a thing. I am also glad that I ever loved a great man like him. We still keep contact until today.
On Mina Unnie case as well. Though I am still not sure whether she would come back again to Korea or not, I am so glad that I could tell her how much she means to me. I kept thinking about it, If I kept that feeling forever, we would never know each other's feeling then. Yes, for me my love life these past years was bittersweet. I didn't get the ending that I wanted, but to me, it's all enough. We repair our relationship. We text each other again, almost any time. I never know she could be this captious when we texted. I never brought up the contract matters again to her. Let it be her decision. I already told her that whatever she decides, I would support her. I could visit her often to Japan if I have to. It's just 2 hours away. If I could go to Wakkanai, then Osaka would be so much easy for me.
Finally, I survived college life. I graduate from Sungkyunkwan University in the mid-March. This is my dream. To be graduated from a university is always been my dream. I accomplished another dream. I am so happy. I even appointed to be a valedictorian this year. To speak courage in front of my friends is totally nervous but exciting at the same time. Of course, my members are all there, except Mina Unnie. She already texted me and said sorry. I understand tho. I don't want to be the old Chaeng again who used to frown when she couldn't come. That time, rumors are also out there, articles released that Mina Unnie won't continue her contract with JYPE. Only us knows the truth then.
I keep making song along with JunK Oppa and YoungK Oppa. My biggest compliment this far was when senior Taeyeon wanted me to produce her one song to be put on her next album. My song was sung by senior Taeyeon, I was the most fluttering moment for me. I keep learning tho, I still figure it out what genre that I want to be mastered. Sure I love pop, but I want to try something else. Just like Jihyo Unnie, I spent most of my time in the office building at the recording room. I almost sleep cause I feel sleepy till a text wake me up.
"She signed it" The manager Oppa text me. I get up all of sudden. Really, she signed it? The contract? Is she still with us? Really? I need to check it my self. I am on my way to the manager's office until a text come to me again.
"It's 4:20" A text from her. It's where we promise ourselves to watch the magic hour together at that hour even she's in Kobe and I'm in Seoul. I can postpone the managers, I should go to the rooftop first, to call her, perhaps asking her directly about the contract. Yes, I will call her.
I go upstairs. I even run I don't know why. I open the rooftop door, a figure turn her body as I open the door. I ran out of breath. She smiles to me. I laugh and smile to her. She looks to the sun again, I come close to her, slowly get close to her. Still can't believe that she's here.
I could her an old latin song play inside my head, Eres Tu (You Are)
Like a promise, you are, you are
Like a summer morning
Like a smile, you are, you are
Like that, like that, you are
All my hope, you are, you are
Like fresh rain in my hands
Like a strong breeze, you are, you are
Like that, like that, you are
You are like the water of my source
You are like the fire of my homeYou are like the fire of my bonfireYou are like the wheat of my breadYou are
"It's unbearable to see the magic hour with distance miles isn't it?" She then starts to speak.
"Better like this" I add to her statement. "But, now that you're here, I got confused whether I should enjoying the sun, or just take a look at you" Again, I really love when she feel timid.
She can't answer. I decided to keep looking to the sun then. She then gives me a coffee can. I take a sip.
"You came here to signed it aren't you?" I ask
"Hah? Words travel that fast?" She takes a deep breath "I guess our managers can't really keep their mouth shut, I told them that I will deliver the news myself"
"Just me, manager Oppa just told me, perhaps Jihyo Unnie then. Also maybe Jeongyeon and Nayeong Unnie too" I sound so stupid I know as she just answers me with her eyes.
"I am so glad that you stay, really. It's been hell living without you this past month. I thought I should really adjust my life in case I won't see you like this again in my daily life, but you're back! I just can........" I lost for words, I really miss her presence. I miss her.
"What about your dream tho?" I ask again.
"I thought about it for the past one month. I even went to the audition in Tokyo, Chaengie"
"Oh yeah, that one. What happened then? Do you get in?" I get excited to hear the whole story.
"Of course, I am Twice's Mina"
"Aissssh" I dissed her.
"Yes, I got it, 3 of them. I got it all. But I didn't know why at that time I kept feeling down. That is sure, what I want. Japan Musical system is also very great, and they have their own color. I know this, and the role that I got was perfect. I will be an ensemble cast of ballerina dancers. But I needed to figure it out what did my heart feel empty even I got what I want" She ship her coffee as well.
"I never missed our magic hour, Chaengie. That was where my hear can think clearly. I miss you as well, being at the same time watching something together somehow made our heart closer, that's what I felt when I see this sun. Then yesterday I just felt, I should get back here and signed the damn contract. Just like that"
"Really? You went through a lot with your dreams, Unnie"
"My dream will always be change. Yes, I do want to be a musical actress that's for sure, for now. But I could do it anywhere. Japan, Korea, Singapore even has the industry now, Hongkong, Taiwan. I can do it anywhere. Also, I need to learn so many things first, that was why I enrolled to K-Arts in the first place right?"
"But....."
"Hey Chaengie, are you happy or unhappy that I'm back?"
"I am, so happy even. I want to tell you that this is the best decision ever. But, I also want you to follow your dream, I want you to nail that because you are Twice's Mina. Because you out of any people, I believe that you would nail it musical thingy"
"What can I do, I will keep coming back here, cause my dream is here"
"Unnie, did JYPE can guarantee you that you could......"
"Chaengie" She cut me off by looking at me and take my hands.
"My dream is right in front of me" Now she makes me timid.
"I can seem to change my dreams from time to time, but there's something that I can't change through this time. You. It's always been you. I had so many dreams, and it changed from ballerina to an idol, to a variety stay to a musical actress, but then I realize, you will ever be the dream that I couldn't change. At some point, I even wanted to forget that dream, but I can't. You are my dream, Chaengie. And I'll be damned pursuing my other dreams when you are right here. You are all I ever want. I want to be closer my to my dream, I don't want to push it. I want to be with you, you are the main dream that I should pursue it first, Chaengie"
I cry now. Tears flowing down to my face, this was too beautiful.
"I have like you since the first day I arrived here, I have love you since you give me heart beating and I don't know when cause being with you always makes my heart beating so fast. I love you, Son Chaeyoung. I wanted to say it out loud years ago but I was too stupid. But not now. Whether this odd and irrational for us, let's pursue it. I know that you love me too, let's not waste time. I want to be with you and yes I will do everything in my power to not to lose you again"
I hug her. In this perfect time, our time. I hug her. The sun always brought us back together. This woman makes me her dream. This woman loves me. I spent my whole time wandering around, I just want to be with her too.
I release the hug and we kiss each other. I cup her face, she holds mine. It was too beautiful. To be honest I never hear Mina Unnie said too many words. But when she said it, it was always beautiful. I love her, I really do
"I really love you, Mina. Not as Unnie, as Mina. My Mina" I said it. I kiss her again.
We then enjoy the sun at the bench at our company's building. I need to immerse moments like this, where she finally in my embrace. We don't know what to call it, our relationship. But we promised that we won't let each other go.
8 years. I've been holding this feeling for her. We both. We both through hell already. During this past 8 years, it wasn't easy for both of us. Watching each other got hurt. 8 years. We get to repair our relationship for the next 8 years, perhaps forever.
Mina Unnie then tells other members that she's going to renew her contract. The hardest thing for us now to admit our kind of this relationship to our members. They need to know, that Mina Unnie and I are more than unnie-dongsaeng relationship. I don't want to hide my relationship to them, they are my closest, if I have a relationship, I know that I can't publicly tell people, but I don't want to lie to them. We all gather around again after Mina Unnie renews her contract at our dorm. All of us are renewing our contract. We are celebrating our another 4 years together. All our members are smile watching Mina Unnie comeback home. It's like bring them a present.
Again we order so many foods, from pizza to jokbal, as Momo Unnie's request. Even though we are currently busy with our individual activities, we manage to gather around today. At first, we wanted to go to a restaurant, upgrading our life, Jihyo Unnie said. But then all of us just want to stay home. Yes, it's rare now to have a moment like this. As usual, Jihyo Unnie will do the speech.
"First, let's clap our hands for another 4 years with Twice, us together!"
We clap our hands, shouting for another 4 years. We all sit on the floor, circling around our selection of foods. I sit beside Mina Unnie, I even hold her hands secretly. It does feel like a high schooler who's in love and secretly dating. Soon, I will tell them soon.
"Thank you for our members, you know that my dream is to stay like this as long as possible, it's like that you guys supporting my dream" Jihyo Unnie add.
"It's also our dream, Jihyo-ya!, Right, all?" Nayeon Unnie comforts her, we all agree. We do want to stay together.We are now a 7 years old girl group, second oldest after senior Apink who's also decided not to disband after 11 years together.
"I am so so glad that we could still be together" Jihyo Unnie shed a tear. Dahyun who's beside her, hold her hands.
"I will fulfill my promise to you guys, to put us in my first priority. If you guys have the slightest, small problem with the entertainment, please let me know. I will find the answer. I promise" Jihyo then looking at Mina, "Mina, thank you, for not giving up on us, really thank you" Jihyo Unnie say this while looking at Mina Unnie. We all smile.
"Cheers, for another 4 years!" We all cheers with our alcohol in hands.
"I also want to give a toast" Mina Unnie th en speak.
"First, I am so sorry. I shake this group the past months. I understand if some of you hate me, I totally understand"
"Hey, Mina how can we hate you" Jeongyeon Unnie cut her off.
"I wasn't myself back then, the past years, I did think a lot about myself. I forgot that I came from you guys. I am nothing with you guys, all of you are my support system. I am sorry, and I want to say thank you for your understanding" Mina Unnie bow to all of us. I smile at her.
"Especially Jihyo-ya! I talked to JYPE, and they told me how you begged them to do what I want, to do the musical the way I want. Actually, right now, I don't really give a shit. I mean, I also need to study first, I am still a student at K-Arts tho. But, really, really thanks for tried so hard for me. I love you all, I prefer to focus my future with us, Twice and my study first. You guys shaped me the way I am now. From a very shy Mina to Mina that could make a decision in her life. You guys helped me to grow. Words can't describe how I love you guys" Mina shed some tears. I hold her hand, comforting her. We all shed tears.
"Okay, okay, enough with tears, we should celebrate this!" Sana Unnie then breaks the sadness.
"Raise your glass again, us for another 4 years, forever!" Sana Unnie leads the toast.
"KANPAI!" Sana Unnie shouts, we all follow.
We then eat graciously.
"Chaeyoung, don't you want to make an announcement?" Jihyo Unnie says to me while eating her pizza. What announcement? I am confused. Ah yes, that. Does Jihyo Unnie already know? Damn, the managers!
"Ah, again thanks to our entertainment, they trust me to produce and lead the newest girl band from JYPE. I will make them an album"
All of my members shout. Mina Unnie stares at me with her wide eye. Even she doesn't know about this. Does Jihyo Unnie already know about this, I thought our managers wanted this to be a secret for a while.
"Wah, Chaengie! Really? Really? Wah Daebak!" Why does Jihyo Unnie act like she doesn't know?
"You don't know? I thought you wanted to tell our members this, as an announcement" I say confusedly to Jihyo Unnie.
"What Jihyo meant, is another announcement, Chaengie" Momo Unnie then playfully tease Jihyo with her gaze. I don't understand their gaze. I am sure, I am looking dumb now.
"Yeah, we are dating" Mina Unnie then tell the others, while taking Jjajangmyeon in front of us, and eating it. All of them are silence now.
"Me and Chaeyoung" I look at her with my wide eyes, I am shocked now. I now that someday I will tell our members, I just don't know this going to be this soon.
"Perhaps dating, sounds really awkward term. We don't really use that term. I love her, she loves me, so I don't know what to call it then" Mina Unnie adds. We are still in a shock mode, I could see the member's face. Mina Unnie says it easily while eating her foods.
"You called it an announcement then?" Jeongyeon Unnie asks us.
Jeongyeon Unnie smirk, "Heh?" Mina say it to the Unnies. I face Jeongyeong Unnie's face.
"We already know! It's now a big news at all"
Tzuyu then laugh secretly. All my members then laugh.
"Heh?" Mina Unnie now facing Jeongyeon Unnie's face.
"Ya, you both are the foolest person in the world, it doesn't take a genius to know. We all know. I could read both your eyes these whole years, that's why I kind of shock that you dated Sammy" Dahyun Unnie say to me.
I still can't believe that Dahyun Unnie says this to me. She's the most ignorant person when it comes to me, but she knows? They know?
"When Jihyo said that you went to Japan to convinced Mina to come back to us, that was when we all agreed, it's all fixed, no doubt. That's when we all don't hesitate at all that, all these years you love each other. Only Chaeyoung could bring Mina back, for sure. And it proved to be the success" Nayeon Unnie say to us.
"We kinda wait for you tell us these past years" Momo Unnie say it too.
"For me, you both like a broken couple already. You acted like an ex-lovers the past year. On our rookie years, you both are so close like a new couple, but then you both avoid each other hard, like you know, ex-lovers. It was kinda of awkward for us. Then Chaengie got a boyfriend, but you both still live in denial, in my opinion" Sana Unnie say it to me,
"Is it so obvious? Am I that obvious, we both that obvious?" I ask Sana Unnie. She nod
We both lost in words.
"In short explanation, Chaengie. We know about how you guys feeling towards each other, but only you two that didn't know. So, it's not a big news at all for us" Tzuyu explain to us.
We both then laugh at each other.
"And we are so so happy that you guys finally can let it out your feeling up in the air. This past 2 years, it's been really awkward between us, wasn't it? Mina avoided Chaeng, vice versa. YOu both kinda cruel to each other. You both are the worst at keeping that feeling. We secretly rooting for you guys, but we didn't really know about how you guys feel, so we don't make assumptions" Jeongyeon Unnie adds.
"I am also glad, Chaengie. But, one thing, you both should continue being professional, okay? If you guys on bad terms, someday, don't mix it up into work. Now that we all know about you guys, if you have problems please talk to the relationship expert here, Sana and Nayeon Unnie" Jihyo Unnie remind us. We all laugh.
"Oh trust me, Jihyo Unnie, we won't waste our time hating each other again. And we will be professional on stage. I promise" I said it while holding Mina Unnie's hand.
I look at her, I look at our hands, it's so happy that we can finally be in love.
P.S: I will write one, just one chapter of epilogue after this.