sehun;
i was dragged by kai because i didn't want to leave chanyeol alone in that crusty morgue. he doesn't deserve this! he doesn't deserve to be tricked by none other than the psychotic luhan...he trusted that it was baekhyun...he trusted him so much...he loved baekhyun to bits.
"how long are you gonna stay with me huh? until im dead? are you doing this to protect me?" i snapped at kai. he just looked at the floor, not wanting to look at me in the yes. "i don't need your help, kai. i just want to die!" i yelled. i scolded kai, yelling at his face until he had no words to say back and had a huge mental breakdown. kai let me do those things until i calmed down by myself.
"sehun..." kai shuddered. "you were overreacting...you scared the hell out of me." he was sitting miles away from me, watching me carefully.
"well, im sorry about that." i furrowed my brows and rubbed my temples, facing away from him. i didn't want him to face me...how much of a monster i actually am. "leave, kai...i can't control my temper and im afraid i'll hurt you. you should know me." a warm tear dropped.
"it's better for you to hurt me painlessly rather than luhan hurting me brutally." kai said. "no, im keeping yixing's promise. im staying. although, i know im probably about to be luhan's next prey...it's obvious luhan wants you to be alone." kai offered his hand and took the opportunity.
"it's just the two of us left...chanyeol would've been here too." mentioning his name was even hard for me to endure the tears coming. i lost my friend who i've known the second longest...
kai was sleeping soundlessly but i couldn't sleep anymore. i haven't slept ever since luhan got out of jail. i kept thinking about the other guys, what are they doing?...how brutal is luhan going with them?...how much does it hurt?...wishing they would stay longer and i was feeling sorry that i couldn't find them as quickly as possible. chanyeol would've lived if i figured this out earlier...i felt the guilt building up inside me, i wanted to let it all out again but my none of my tears came out from dehydration. im sorry...
i decided to go downstairs and reminisce every memory i had with yixing in the living room...when i started to fall for him. i fell for his beautiful dimples, his sweet innocence, the way he just gave me in, the way he didn't hesitate to push me away...i was drunk and lonely, i wanted someone to be with me, instead i fell for him. and im still falling for him even when im thinking about him...
the doorbell suddenly rang and i watched my room upstairs, afraid that it would wake up kai or my brother or my...mom. i haven't seen my mom coming out of her room...she's still so disappointed in me. im sorry, mom but i can't change my love for the same gender...for yixing. who would even come to my house at this hour? it's very late...i opened the door without hesitation but there was nobody. i furrowed my brows and sighed, "it must be the kids next door..." then i slowly closed the door.
the bell rang once again and i opened it again, hoping i would catch one of the kids. "aish!" i swore, i didn't catch them. but then i looked down on the 'welcome' rag, there was a bottled glass drink? with a side note on it. 'drink me'.
"bullshit." i hissed and threw the bottle away, causing the glasses shredding into pieces. "im not falling for your pranks, kids." i groaned. "i'll tell your parents if you don't go sleep at this late hour! they'll beat your ass! im serio-" i stopped myself when i saw the bush shaking, i went to check if the kids were hiding there but there was nothing...
"jjinja, aish! those punks-" i gasped when i felt a sharp thing stabbing through my back. i was too shocked to even shout. it was stabbing me deeper and carving something on my back. i couldn't see whoever it was...the person was kind of carving some korean words on my back harshly. i winced in pain and squirmed. i still couldn't see who it was but after that, they kicked me on the ground with their foot and stepped on my back aggressively, causing the blood on my back to squirm out more. my vision blurred and the last thing i saw was a piece of glass from the bottle soaked in my blood.
-
"sehun!" kai patted my cheek and shouted my name countless times until i was back to being conscious again. he supported me to get back upstairs and pushed me on the bed. "holy shit!" he gasped, analyzing my back. "what the fuck?! take off your clothes!" kai said and got a towel in his hand to wipe the blood away. i just took off my shirt and he helped me with it since i was still weak but i managed to make it out alive. "who did this to you?! why were you laying on the ground?!" kai asked as he treated me.
"i don't know either...i couldn't see the face..." i muttered. "who else would do this to me unless it's...luhan."
"what if it is him! but if it is him, why didn't he take you with him? that doesn't make sense." kai started to question everything. "wait..." kai gasped.
"what?" i groaned.
"your back...it's...a name..." kai hesitated. "it's...no, it can't be him..." kai widened his eyes.
"what does it say, kai?! tell me!" i asked curiously.
"zhang yixing. yixing's name!" kai was shocked. "was it yixing who did this?!"
"don't be so stupid! yixing won't do things like these! i trust him alot so it can't be him...he wouldn't hurt me!" i started to get worried. "did you fucking read right?"
"it's yixing's name i fucking told you." kai said suspiciously. "why would he stab you?"
"i told you! it is not yixing!" i sprang up from the bed. "don't say things like that, jongin. you're making yixing look bad."
"maybe you know it was him...but you're still covering him up because you love him..." kai squinted his eyes. "your weakness is yixing after all."
"shut up, kim jongin. if you're suspecting yixing you have to get out. yixing isn't the person who did this to me." i scowled. "you don't just blame yixing like that."
kai just rolled his eyes and stared at my back again. "there's something more." kai mumbled and forced me to face my back to him. "trees?" kai said. "it says 'trees' under yixing's name..."
-
kai wanted to take something from his house and left his phone in my room. he said he's not gonna be there long, he also warned me to not go outside again. afraid that luhan would approach me. i did as he told but it seemed like more than two hours he was gone. he hasn't been back. i couldn't call him because he left his fucking phone. great.
i gave up and broke the rule, i ended up going to his house and barged in just to find bloody footsteps on the ground, leading to kai's room. "fuck..." i widened my eyes and ran upstairs to kai's room. "what the fuck is happening?!" i cursed. there was blood everywhere in his room with bloody handprints on the wall, floor and windows. "kai!" i shouted, there was no response.
there was a huge message written in blood on one side of the wall. i quickly read it and it said,
"congratulations, oh sehun! guess what? this is written in your beloved friend, kai's blood. it was a nice chance to take him away from you since he's always sticking with you, baby. how satisfying...aren't you curious of what i did to your friends and your useless boyfriend, sehun? time is running out and i must say they're dying, especially zhang yixing...oops. one already died, what a pity...but that doesn't matter. remember what i promised you babe? i will hurt yixing someday when you come close to him...now is the time. how dare you replace me with someone else? bad, bad boy...don't worry though, you did a good job finding clues! now this is the last clue or else your friends will die...find them at the place where we had our bittersweet memories. you know who i am...sincerely, always been your boyfriend, luhan. once you're mine, you're always mine."
my heart beating rapidly after reading the stupid note by luhan. he's not my boyfriend. the past is the past. kai is brutally hurt, i should've never let him go without his phone. all my friends are in luhan's possession, but the thing is...what the fuck is that horrible clue?! i forgot almost everything about luhan and i in the past abusive relationship! i hurriedly think about the place luhan's trying to tell me...was it kris' house? when he drugged me and almost raped me at kris' house party...i couldn't think straight because the clock kept ticking and it was ringing in my ears...i had no choice but to fucking run for it.
i headed straight to kris' house but nothing! no one was there! it can't be here...where the hell is this place?! maybe, the clue below yixing's carved name on my back meant something...trees?
i always thought i had a heart attack everytime my watch changes time...it felt like i was running out of time and i was struggling so badly. this was all my fault, i shouldn't make yixing mine in the first place even though im desperate to have him...i shouldn't get him in trouble, i shouldn't get everyone else involved...it's always yixing, but it's too late now. luhan should just hurt me like he used to, it was my fault.
trees...during camping, could it be related to the forest where luhan used to hurt and love me at the same time? screw it, i drifted to the forest, not caring about the red traffic light i just needed to go hard or go home. i could get myself in trouble but thankfully the policemen weren't at sight. there was a heavy smoke somewhere in the forest, i ran towards it and shouted for luhan. "luhan! come out wherever you fucking are!" i rasped, feeling fearless already. the courage was starting to grow into me. i heard luhan laughing at the other side of the forest.
"finally. hello, baby. long time no see." luhan inhaled his cigarette. "smart enough to find me, impressive. you do remember our memories together." luhan smirked, stepping closer to me.
"im not here to find your mental ass. i want my friends back." i gritted my teeth. "where. are. they." i clenched my fists.
"your friends? what if i say you're too late, they're all dead." luhan said. "what took you so long, baby?" luhan lifted my chin with his finger. i angrily swatted his finger away and glared at him.
"i don't fucking believe you! where's yixing? why would you hurt him? why don't you just hurt me instead? why?!" i shouted.
"oh, no baby. that's not how we play the game. it's more fun this way." luhan pouted. "you want me to hurt you?" he chuckled. "months ago, you were the one begging me to stop hurting you." his eyes turned into an evil aura. "all these sacrifices...for yixing?"
"yes. let yixing go and you can hurt me all you want." i said. "let the others go too." luhan just laughed.
"i don't want to kill you, sehun. i want to kill yixing instead. the others are just dolls, they're useless. i just like more people to test my knives on." luhan licked his knife slowly while staring at me. "blood." he licked his lips. i gulped and took a step backward since he got a knife infront of me.
"where the fuck are they?!" i yelled and he put back his knife in his pocket. "please, they're fucking dying!"
"i told you, they're dead." luhan crossed his arms. "so we can be alone together now, just you and me like the old times." luhan smiled.
"no! i don't trust you anymore, i don't want you anymore, luhan! tell me where they fucking are!" i clenched my fists.
"...alright. you're not easily fooled, i guess." luhan grabbed my wrist tightly. his touch made me cringe, i didn't like it. it reminded me of when he used to touch and abuse me all the time, i hate it.
"let go of me." i clenched my jaw. "i said let go." i glared at him.
"why would i listen to you? you've been very disrespectful nowadays...who taught you that? yixing? no wonder." luhan chuckled bitterly and dragged me somewhere. "i'll let you come see my victims. they're looking pretty dead." luhan smirked.
there was a huge campfire in the middle of the circle and lots of knives were on the weapon table. i widened my eyes in shock. the guys...they were tied to a tree, looking absolutely pale and smelled like corpses. their skins were all cut and bruised, their blood still dripping on the ground for days. some of them weren't conscious and their eyes were closed. i couldn't believe what i just saw. yixing on the other hand, he was the only one tied infront of the fire with his arms tied up and mouth stuffed so he can't speak. he was the only one who looked ten times brutally worse than the guys. i couldn't stand seeing them like this.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO YIXING?!" i raged out, pushing luhan on the floor and he smirked. i tried to run to yixing but luhan tripped me with his foot and kicked me backwards.
"you're not gonna save him." luhan gritted his teeth and grabbed something on the weapon table. i looked at yixing again who didn't look like yixing, he didn't open his eyes, he lost so much blood. not to mention he got a blood disorder. "nobody's saving anyone." luhan spilled all the gasoline on yixing and the guys, mostly to yixing. "you're here to only watch the show, sehun." luhan smirked.
"YOU PIECE OF SHIT! LET YIXING GO YOU'RE NOT BURNING HIM ALIVE YOU CRAZY PSYCHOPATH!" i yelled, running towards to yixing but luhan was just too strong to grab my neck and squeezed it but let me go easily, not wanting to choke me. "yixing!" i shouted, almost crying my eyes out. "yixing! im here!"
"you should be calling me, sehun. not yixing." luhan poured more gasoline on yixing. "im mental because of you, sehun. i still love you but you love someone else! i just want you to love me back! love me back, sehun!" luhan shouted like a lunatic he is while pouring the gasoline. "i want you!" luhan gritted his teeth.
"luhan! stop! you're pouring too fucking much on yixing!" i snatched the gasoline away from luhan and threw it far away. "just stop!" i cried.
"all i want is for you to love me back, sehun. or i'll burn yixing right infront of your eyes just to prove you that the person you love now will not love you forever like i will!" luhan shouted. luhan took his lighter and lit it.
"luhan! no-"
"what's your final answer, sehun?!" luhan neared the lighter closer to yixing. "do you love me back?"
"luhan...please. stop all this-" i begged on my knees, crying. "and i'll love you." i kept begging and looking at yixing who wasn't able to see the situation. the other guys were half conscious but didn't say anything because they were terrified of luhan. luhan slowly closed his lighter and pulled me upwards.
"let yixing go...let him go!" i begged and he smirked. "luhan, please...i'll love you like i used to...i-i...i'll leave yixing alone!"
"then prove it." luhan gritted his teeth. "prove me that you'll love me." luhan clutched my collar. i had no choice but to kiss him and felt bitter about it. i kissed him as my tears fell down, yixing...im still yixing's. i had to. i pulled away and he grabbed my waist, pulling me into his hungry kiss like he had been waiting for it for so long. i slowly pushed him away, catching my breath and wiped my lips with my sleeve.
"now, you're under my property." luhan grabbed my collar, staring into my eyes deeply and blindly aimed the rope to free yixing. i watched yixing as he fell lifelessly on the ground with a tear dripping down his cheek. i tried to help him but luhan stopped me and raised his brow. "i let him go...but i didn't tell you to save him, did i?" luhan glared.
i just gulped and luhan aggressively freed the other guys as well, every each one of them widening their eyes in fear as they looked at me in disgrace. "what have you done, sehun?!" kyungsoo growled. they all went to save yixing and the next thing i saw was his tears turned into dark red in color, no longer water tears but blood. "yixing!" tao shouted. they were hurt as well but at least they were conscious. yixing heard whatever i said about loving luhan and leaving him.
"yixing! im sorry! yixing-" i ran from luhan to get yixing but he stabbed another knife on my thigh. i fell on he ground. "yixing...im sorry...im sorry..." i cried. luhan pulled me back up and smirked.
"let them suffer." luhan dominated.
"what the fuck sehun?! you're a fucking betrayer! why would you do that to yixing?!" suho carried yixing in his arms.
"suho please, i want to hold him! let me hold him! let me feel him at least..." i clenched my fists. "yixing...it's me..." i tried to grab his wrist but tao swatted my hand away.
"fucking traitor." tao spat as suho wiped the blood on yixing's cheeks from crying blood. "you were letting luhan track us! you son of a fucking bitch!" tao slapped me hard.
"tao..." i sobbed. the guys who once trusted me just looked at me being slapped like i deserved it. "i just want to hold yixing...for the last time...please..." i begged and begged until suho ignored me and ran away from here with yixing in his arms. the last person was kai, i looked at him in the eye and he just looked at me back with an untrusting look. "kai...i didn't lead you into this trap! you trust me right?" i gritted my teeth.
"i just can't trust you, sehun...not anymore. you just betrayed yixing and us." kai clenched his fists.
"kai i swear i didn't-" i protested. "i saved you guys!" i yelled.
"it would be so much nicer to die here rather than to know that you, a friend that we all once trusted, betrayed us all." kai spat. "you left yixing just for luhan? pathetic." he gave me a one last dirty look then went away with the others.
-
"that was a fun show." luhan handcuffed me and sat me beside him. "why are you crying?" luhan tucked my chin up and laughed. "what a shame...they all thought you betrayed them to bits."
"this is all your fault!" i let it all out. "you fucking ruined my whole life! you, you framed me and told all those bad things to them you son of a bitch!" i rambled.
"shut up, sehun. you're getting wilder every second. it doesn't matter now does it? they all hate you, and im the only fucking one who loves you! don't you feel special at all, sehunnie?" luhan sipped his drink.
"yixing was crying blood...how cruel did you torture him?! how dare you?!" i clenched my fists. "yixing didn't deserve all this!" luhan just gulped all his drink down his throat, and smirked bitterly.
"here you are again, talking about yixing infront of me. what did i tell you, baby? he doesn't care about you anymore." luhan giggled.
"im not your baby." i hissed.
"you'll get used to it." luhan shoved a drink down my throat and i had to gulp it down. "good boy." i almost felt like throwing up. he kept forcing me to drink something that i didn't even know and i just cried. later on, everything felt numb. he handcuffed me and stripped my clothes, leaving me naked. it was a rushing and forceful night that he even blindfolded me while pulling my hair, choking me. i didn't feel pleasure at all, all i felt was pain and drugs intoxicating me inside, making me weaker. he raped me like he owned me.
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a/n: i will probably not publish another chapter for a month or so because of exams :( but i'll try to write & publish another chapter!! fighting!!