"If your heart tells you something but your mind tells you something else, which do you believe? Both are just as apt to lie. In fact, they play at deceit all the time. Mostly they balance each other, giving us that crucial reality check. But what happens on the rare occasions when they conspire together?"
Neal Shusterman, Bruiser
***
Abbi awoke guttering, and choking, her hands going to her throat as she fumbled around in the darkness. She could feel the smooth satin sheets tangled in her feet, and a heavy unwanted comforter enveloping her in a sweaty warmth.
This was not her bed.
Abbi struggled to free herself from the bondage, but there was something else locking her to the mattress. Her fingers probed the smooth surface of the limb, carefully drawing back when she realized what it was. Someones arm?
A laugh tickled her ear, one that she had become accustomed to hearing, even in the short hours of their acquaintance. Nathaniel.
Her blood turned icy cold, and fear washed through her body. Abbi made a noise through her teeth, it sounded like a hiss and only made Nathaniel laugh louder. "Is something wrong, Love?"
Instead of answering him, she started to thrash about, her arms flopping into his hair, trying to pull herself away. His grip was iron. A frustrated sob escaped her lips as she attempted to move from his hold on her waist; her flailing only made it worse. Nathaniel hugged her to his chest, a warm purr rumbling from his lips.
"You smell good. " He murmured, nuzzling her. "Its intoxicating." His lips barely grazed her neck, and a fire sparked in her chest. In matter of seconds, the slightest of Nathaniel's touches had her freaking out.
"Get away from me!" Abbi snapped, using whatever might she could muster to push him away. Nathaniel's arms constricted, but much to Abbi's surprise, he released her, his expression bewildered. She leaped from the bed, but the darkness was overpowering her sight, making it difficult to see. Abigail could feel a silken material hugging her body in what she recognized as a nightgown. When did he change her clothes? Where was her mother's dress?
"Abigail-" He moved; she could hear the blankets rustling and the frame creaking.
"Stay away from me, you psychopathic cannibal!" Abbi screeched, groping for anything, anything at all that she could use against him. Her hands came across something thick and rectangular. A book. Abbi braced herself, looking around frantically as she held up it up, ready to strike.
"Abigail ... " Nathaniel said again, this time his voice reprimanding. She could suddenly feel him behind her. How had he moved so fast? Not thinking as she flipped around, Abbi slammed the book down on something hard.
"Ow!" Nathaniel exclaimed. He didn't sound hurt but more surprised. That was disappointing.
Abbi pictured him rubbing his fingers carefully, while his face twisted in pain and smiled at the thought.
Abbi darted to the right, still gripping the book and trying to find an exit. But Instead of running into a door she clunked into a hard surface. Her hands felt the velvet material hugging the surface, and it took Abbi a moment to realize that it was a window she'd hit. Longing for light, Abbi flustered with the hem of the curtains and spread them open wide.
Sunlight rinsed into the large bedroom, blooming across the wooden floors. She saw Nathaniel's staggered expression and flashing figure as he jumped into a shaded area of the bedroom in which the window's rays barely missed. He looked almost angry, until he realized, at the same time she did, that he was standing directly in front of the door.
Her eyes circled the chamber, its polished mahogany floors, high ceilings, papery walls and bookshelves. A four-postured bed centered itself on the back wall while many strayed papers, old waxy candles, and a cluttered desk barely accented the room. And, Abigail noted with a sinking heart, that Nathaniel stood by the only door in the room. Glancing down at the book in her hands, Abbi read the title. Oh that was just peachy. She hit Nathaniel with the Bible. He studied her quietly, his pretty face assessing hers.
Then, trying to be as quick as possible, she darted off, moving like a bullet as she held up the Lords Book and aimed it at Nathaniel. Surprisingly, she gauged the throw correctly and the thing smacked him in the forehead. Seeing as the boy was occupied with a face full of pages, Abbi charged the door, her fingers seizing the knob. Trying to turn it was moot, the knob wouldn't budge.
Nathaniel spun her around but was struggling to pull her her away from the door as gently as possible. Abbi slapped his shoulders angrily, and to much of her disdain, the feel of his hands against her hips was much more satisfying than it should have been. A war was raging underneath her skin. Go for the door again, or succumb to Mr. "I Eat People" pulling on her waist?
Abbi could't control her emotions. Everytime she twisted around to try the knob, Nathaniel's firm hands pulled her back to him. Frustration was building and building to the point of almost-tears. "Let me go! Let me go!" She screamed, her nails digging at the lock folded into the door.
"Stop, Abigail. Please, I just want to-" Before he could say anything further, her hand came up and struck him in the face, hard. All time seemed to freeze as she watched his earnest face flip into a creature that looked primal and violent. Abbi didn't have time to react before his hands came up as well. She cringed, squeezing her eyes shut and awaited the blow, only it never came. Instead, Nathaniel took her wrists and roughly and nailed them to the door with his hands. Tears from frustration, relief, and fear pooled down her cheeks as his warm breath tickled her face. Abbi couldn't help it; at his sudden proximity she was reminded of last night, reminded of his teeth in her neck. If she'd been crying before, now she was bawling, unrelenting and loud.
"P-please l-let me go ... " Abbi sobbed, her lower lip quivering.
His brutal aspect softened and he lowered her arms. "Listen to me," Nathaniel urged, his eyes wide and pleading. "Listen to me, please, Abigail. I need you to hear me."
She didn't even consider him. "Why did you bite me?"
"Because I need to survive."
"That's not true." She said indignantly, her words slurred as she spoke through still-rolling tears.
He looked curious. "You don't want me to live?" Surprisingly, Abbi felt a pang in her stomach at the thought of such a thing.
"I- no, that's not what I meant. There are other ways to go about finding means of sustenance; you don't have to eat other people."
For a moment, there was laughter in his eyes, but it disappeared in seconds. "I think you're mistaken, Love." Nathaniel said softly, pity in his expression.
"About what?" Abbi asked, her voice low. As the crying subsided the water that had once wet cheeks was drying, making them sticky.
"A question that will receive an answer shortly. Now, may I speak?" He raised an eyebrow. She nodded fast, watching his every move.
Nathaniel smiled facetiously, then without any warning, took her up into an awkward embrace where she hung from two very strong hands, while her chin rested on his shoulder. He carried her back to the bed and let her fall from his reach, onto the plush mattress. At first, Nathaniel dared to sit next to a still very shaky Abbi, but, by guessing smartly from the look of her face, he moved to the farthest corner and put his hands in his lap. Abbi hugged her arms around her shoulders and tried to squeeze the undeniable nausea from her stomach.
"First things first, I would like you to view the situation with an equal and prospered mind. Imagine in your head, that you are in my shoes. A quite different perspective it is, my dear."
Abbi regarded him blankly. "You want me to visualize being a cannibal?"
Nathaniel frowned. "I'm not a cannibal." He paused, his eyes turning curious. "Sorta."
"How can you sorta not be a cannibal?"
He sighed deeply, his eyes begging for her participation. "Never mind. I will begin with-"
"-You know, repressing the issue at hand isn't a way to deal with your cannibalism." Abbi interrupted him.
Nathaniel ran a hand through his blond hair making his impatience obvious. "Abigail. Will you please, and I say this with complete sincerities, shut up?"
Abbi flushed, embarrassed, and looked down at her thumbs. Closing her mouth tightly, the girl didn't make a sound. Nathaniel seemed relieved of her silence.
"As I was saying-"
"-Why are you so defensive about being called a cannibal?" She asked, interrupting him again.
With an obnoxious laugh, Nathaniel finally broke. He launched himself at her, knocking Abbi back against the pillows while his hands pinned hers down with his hips straddling her. Leaning his head down, his lips were mere inches away from her quivering ones. Abbi was taken aback by the flood of emotion rising in her stomach.
"Now I want you to listen very carefully, Love," Nathaniel's voice was unsteady, "I do not have any respectable beliefs in cannibalism, in fact, I frown upon many of the extreme cases. Furthermore, I am not a cannibal, I just prefer things a little more ... raw."
He chuckled as Abbi made a face. "That's-"
It was Nathaniel who intersected her statement, this time. "Don't say another word. I want you to keep listening to me." Abbi glared at him but shut her mouth. He gratefully continued with a start.
"Do you know the story of Lilith?" He asked softly. Abbi shook her head. The name seemed familiar but she couldn't place a story to it.
"Well, she was Adams first wife, accordingly accurate by mythology. My father believes otherwise, that she was demon, a succubus, or some ancient creature who deceived Adam using trickery and of course, the overall hold on lust. Others say she is the mother of demons and had no real contact with any humanoid creation. Half of this is true, rather, myths are hard to decipher. The only thing that matters is her acts upon mankind.
"Lilith was a soulless creature, brimming with hatred and untamed black power. When her supposed husband Adam found Eve, the sinner that brought fall to Eden, there was no questionable outcome; their love was the purest. And Lilith hated it. As it turns out, Lilith was no being of earth, and she, seeking a punishment for Adam's children, used her own blood to do such a task. She took the Eternal Chalice, a monument of sacrifice and death, and slit her hand. Filling the cup with her blood, Lilith handed it to a man, Camael - who was seeking release from his wretched life. He drank her blood willingly, and was then granted immortality with one small price; his own humanity."
Abbi looked up into the eyes of Nathaniel, her expression lost. "I am ... confused. What does that story have to do with anything? Especially you being a cannibal?"
Nathaniel let his fingers brush the soft flesh of her exposed neck, the tender area where he had ultimately bit into her. Abbi shuddered and tried to pull away, but he still lay on top of her.
"It explains what I am. And what you are to me." He hushed, his lips were close to her ear again. She strained against him.
"And what," Abbi paused, her voice becoming fearful of what he would say, "would that be?"
Nathaniel pulled away from her, his weight lifting off Abbi's body making her strangely chilled. He stood from the bed, still managing to miss the harsher spots of sun, and turned to look at her from one of the many bookshelves lining the walls. His lips quirked up into an annoying half-smile. Abbi slowly sat up, sure her hair was a terrible mess of waves. "Its exactly what it sounds like, Love, I am a Vampire and you are mine."
She was flashed back to that terrible moment on the balcony, where his possessive voice entered in her ears, and his teeth sank deep into her skin. She shuddered, not the first time since she had awoken to this place.
At first, all she could do was stare at his slack expression. Then, "Are you serious? A vampire?" She almost felt like laughing in his face, but no need, when her voice was layered with an intense sarcastic-ness. He looked almost hurt.
Nathaniel then started to glare at her. "You don't believe me?"
Abbi started to cackle, her face a mixture of disbelief and mocking humor. "Of course not, you stoned lunatic. What's the matter with you?"
Nathaniel suddenly seemed to be impaled with anger, making her hilarity evaporate. He growled at Abbi, his fingers clenching into fist fulls of unmistakable rage. "How dare you scorn me, Abigail Worthington. You will live to regret every word that comes from your mouth." Her smile faded completely as her fear suddenly sunk in around her. She stiffened against the bed.
He took a cat-like step towards her, his entire demeanor changing into a predatory lurch.
Nathaniel's eyes had melted to a pruned red, a color so deeply horrific that she sucked in a nervous breath. And when he smiled, she couldn't miss the two jutting canines that stood at parallel points. Fangs.
He lunged too quickly. Abbi had no time to prepare as she was thrown to the floor, her head smacking the wood hard. Nathaniel gripped the sheen material of her nightgown in his hands, making Abbi's back lift off the floor and near his deadly face. She whimpered softly.
"Now, Abigail, I would so much like to prove your pessimistic opinions wrong, but that in itself would be the same type of heartless behavior. As my Subjugate ... "
She froze. The rest of what he was saying seemed to wilt into the background as she pondered the word in her head. Subjugate. That was not a good thing, Abbi had read about such once, in a rather gory folklore piece of fiction, but nonetheless, she knew what it meant. In her visions, all she could see was red.
"What do you mean? Your subjugate?" She shouted enraged, it made Nathaniel's advance pause but he continuously scowled down at her.
"Yes. I own you, Abigail. You are my property, and mine alone."
"I never agreed to this! What are you talking about?" She exclaimed, her hands trying to shove at him.
"Actually, I believe you did say such last night. And as a legitimate rule in Law, only once the human agrees to such contract may the Subjugation continue. Might I remind you, Love. You agreed, said it several times in fact."
"You tricked me." Her voice was flat and defeated, as she gazed up at Nathaniel with solemn eyes, all of the fury slowly defused from her body like an opened pop leaking onto the ground. Nathaniel blinked. She then noticed again how his eyes had been chiseled back into a blue stone, his pointed teeth were no longer a threat.
"I had to ... I didn't want to lose you."
Abbi let her head sag to the side. A dawning epiphany made Abbi blanch, her eyes pricking with unshed tears. For the continuous span of time that was her life, she would endeavor to feed him. Always being the lunch-sack on feet, just in case Fangy got hungry. A resentment rose like a tidal wave as she accepted her fate.
"I hate you, Nathaniel Drake." She whispered harshly. "I hate you."