Where had she slept?
For the first time since he'd woken, Rin took careful stock of the room and realized precisely how sparse and bereft of furniture the cabin was. In fact, naming it a cabin was a fairly generous assessment, given its small size and general state of disrepair. Were it not for the fresh fruits that hung from a hooked basket on the side of one wall or the neat pile of clothing that had been set on a small wooden stand, he would have assumed the place abandoned.
He eyed the chair beside the stand and took mental inventory of the items on it. A familiar medicinal satchel, an overfilled knapsack, as well as what appeared to be a folded bedroll had been neatly piled on top. Was that her makeshift bed? He grimaced at the thought. It wasn't unlike what they had both slept on during their earlier travels, but the fact that he had taken the sole bed in the room while she most likely slept on ground proved to be disquieting to his sense of propriety. How long had she stayed with him in such a manner?
She would sleep on the bed tonight. He was determined.
Exactly how he would get her to do so was something he hadn't quite figured out, however. Knowing her as he did, Lady San would most likely argue that she preferred the cold ground, if only to put others' comfort before her own. The thought crossed his mind to appeal to her sense of reason.
"I'd prefer to sleep on the ground," he rehearsed to himself.
His brows furrowed. She wouldn't accept that.
"The bed is uncomfortable," he tried again, raising his uninjured arm to rub at a shoulder for effect. But if so...would it not be rude to suggest that she take his place in it? He shook his head.
"The ground would be better for my back," he ventured, this time with a self-assured nod. That one actually made some sense. "Yes, the ground would be better for my back. You should take the bed tonight." He paused. Was that too forward? Perhaps the suggestion needed to be phrased as a question. He gestured towards the bed with the sweep of a hand. "Would you sleep on the bed tonight?"
A throat being audibly cleared sounded from the door.
Rin's eyes snapped to the entryway, only to find that the door had creaked open partway and Lady San stood peering in, eyes gleaming with mirth. "Am I...interrupting?"
He turned away and coughed into his hand, embarrassed. Was she even staying another night? Given how she had most likely witnessed him muttering to himself and inviting a phantom version of her to stay overnight in the bed that he currently sat in, ...it wouldn't have surprised him if she left that very moment.
"Ah," he mumbled, somewhat self-consciously. "I was thinking aloud... Have they left?"
A head appeared above hers by the doorway. "Still here!" Yeom-Bok called out before a flash of an elbow appeared at his side and he disappeared once more with a yelp. Lady San's wide smile was almost disconcerting. She had worn a similarly fierce expression when she had forcibly removed the two men earlier, and it was an expression that he fondly recalled from their time on Mount Duta when she had challenged the crown prince. However, he found himself torn between the rising attraction he felt towards that fierceness and the increasing mortification he felt to have been caught rehearsing a line.
"They're leaving soon," she clarified, as ruckus sounded behind her. To his ears, it almost seemed as though the two men were arguing over what was being cooked. "They're making up for the porridge."
He nodded. "Would you like me to--"
Lady San shook her head decisively before turning to shut the door. "I'm handling it," she called out with a wave. He smiled to himself. He had no doubt that she would.
------
The remainder of the evening passed by with significantly fewer commotions. Lady San had apparently enlisted Yeom-Bok and Gae-Won's aid in recreating her porridge, and the two left in a rush soon after the task was done. All the better, he thought, remembering their earlier remarks. When Lady San returned with two bowls, Rin accepted his graciously, and they ate in a comfortable silence as the sun set that evening.
However, it wasn't long before Rin found himself wondering, again, how he would convince her to take his place on the bed. Almost as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he noticed that she had already grabbed her bedroll and was making space for it on the ground.
"Sani-Agasshi," he started.
"No," she hummed back pleasantly, still crouched on the ground.
"I haven't asked a question of you yet," he responded back, confused.
"I may not be able to read your mind, but you're staring at me with a look that says you feel guilty." She unrolled another corner and patted it down.
"I would prefer to sleep on the ground."
"You need to heal first."
"The ground would be better for my--"
She turned to him then, hands on either side of her hip, and pinned him with a stare.
He stopped protesting.
------
Rin couldn't sleep that night.
Though Lady San had effectively silenced him with one look, his mental protests rang loud and clear through the evening hours. It was as though he could hear Dan's voice in his mind, berating him for his ill treatment of a woman he adored. He could almost imagine a finger wagging at him and the tell-tale click of her tongue. "Oraboni," she would say with disappointment, tight-lipped with scrunched brows.
Rin sent her a mental apology and glanced back down to Lady San's huddled figure on the ground. He truly did not understand himself sometimes, much less the sway that she held over him. His gaze traveled from the bridge of her nose to the soft breaths she exhaled. From where he lay, it seemed as though he could see her wind-chilled breaths. Was she cold? He glanced down to his warm blanket, then back to the worn one on her.
As quietly as he could, Rin struggled to an upright position, teeth clenching as he realized the difficulty of the task given the injuries on either side of his body. Attempting the act in silence most likely didn't help either. He wiped the sweat on his brow with the back end of his sleeve. Bracing one arm against a wooden panel, he inched forward and maneuvered himself onto the ground, landing in what was a decidedly ungraceful heap. He worriedly looked over to her. Still asleep. He breathed a sigh of relief. With his right arm, he grabbed the blanket and shifted it over to her, gently draping it over her the length of her body. Better.
As he sat beside her on the ground with his uninjured leg propped up and the other outstretched, Rin carefully studied her sleeping form. Wisps of hair had escaped her hairband and lay tangled by her face. Curled as she was with her hair fanning over the curve of her neck, she was beautiful. She shifted then, a soot-smudged chin jutting out as though in defiance of his thought. No, he internally corrected himself, the corner of his lip curling up in response. He could think of no scenario where she would cease to be beautiful to him. She shifted again. This time, her hand emerged from underneath the blanket and grabbed hold of its edges. His gaze softened at the sight.
Rin longed to grab hold of that hand, to press his palm against hers and fold his fingers neatly between her own. Despite the chill of the night, a warmth of emotion flooded through him. Inadvertently, he found himself reaching forward as though drawn by an invisible force. His hand hovered just a scant distance above hers for several heartbeats before he exhaled a sigh, curled his fingers into a fist, and leaned his head back against the wooden frame.
This was not going to work, he thought. Covert missions, he could do. Self-sacrifice, he could arguably do even better. Mornings and evenings spent with her alone, however...
He would be fortunate to come out of the experience with his heart intact.
------
When San woke the next morning, it was to the strange realization that she felt overbearingly hot. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she drowsily stifled a yawn with one hand and pulled at the blanket with the other.
Two blankets.
She blinked again. Before she could wonder where the second one had come from, she caught sight of a head gently bobbing back and forth from the corner of her eye. Curiously, she glanced up and found Rin dozing beside her, one arm resting on a propped leg while he sat in what looked to be the most uncomfortable sleeping position. His neck was going to ache when he woke, she thought. It would have been an opportune moment to wake him, but-- she hesitated.
It was a rare sight so see him so unguarded. It always felt as though he was the one who was ever vigilant, always watching from the side. It was a nice change, she thought, wishing to savor the moment.
A small smile touched her lips as she traced the features of his face in the air. From the high curve of his cheekbones to the peak of his nose and the soft slope of his lips, she gently caressed the space between them. His head slipped forward one more time before he startled awake, eyes snapping to alertness.
Immediately, San shut her eyes and dropped her hand. Did he notice? she wondered, then thought better of feigning sleep. Forcing a yawn, she made a show of rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she turned to look at him. His eyes were rimmed in red, as though he hadn't slept well. Suddenly, the thought crossed her mind--
"Rin... How did you end up on the ground?"
"I must have rolled off," Rin replied good-naturedly. Despite herself, she arched a brow. Rolled off with all the blankets and pillow in tow in one convenient sweep? She almost snorted. How masterfully he must have rolled such that his blanket had wound up tucked around her, and he, himself, slept upright with his head lulling to the side.
"Mm," she nodded in understanding, then teasingly added, "How is your back now that you've had the chance to sleep on the ground?"
He blinked at her words before a look of understanding crossed his face. "Ah." He rubbed at his neck, an act that almost appeared bashful to her. "Much better."
San smiled at him brightly. "Mhmm." With a final languid stretch, she rose to her feet and offered a hand to him. "Would you like to make it back up there now that your back is well rested?"
Rin glanced at her hand then looked back up to her. With a grateful smile, he accepted the proffered hand. She gave it a tug with the intention of hoisting him to his feet but found, instead, that because he favored his uninjured leg with much of his weight, her hold on him was unstable--and growing increasingly more so. Instead of being pulled to his feet, Rin swayed dangerously to the left.
Hurriedly, San grabbed hold of his side in an attempt to aid in his balance. Her hand slid from his waist to the small of his back as they both lurched to the side. From the corner of her eye, she noticed him grab onto a wood panel and nearly breathed a sigh of relief to find that he had caught his bearing.
"That was close," she mumbled, less so to him than it was to herself. His breathing sounded ragged to her ears, and she realized belatedly that she was pressed flush up against him, one hand still clasped tightly in his, while the other had wound itself around his waist in the semblance of an intimate dance. Her face set aflame at the thought, and she floundered to disentangle herself. Arm, fingers, face --move them, a voice in her mind urged. His jeogori was undone; and were it not for the layer of bandages between them, her face would have been pressed against his bare chest in that very moment. Even the tips of her fingers had already curled around the thin fabric of his clothing. She felt as though the heat from his body had spirited through her and ignited her skin.
San nearly leapt backwards. Thankfully, his grip on her hand kept her from tripping over her own feet in the process. "I, ah--Sorry--" Robotically, she withdrew her hand, then used it to pat his shoulder in what she hoped was a friendly show of goodwill. "You're heavier than I thought." His confused expression was enough to make her laugh awkwardly. "But probably not as heavy as you should be because you haven't eaten much...in the past few days." Her eyes darted to the door. "I should go prepare breakfast."
"I could help," Rin offered, leaning against the panel. Though he attempted a casual stance, it was apparent to her that his wounds bothered him. Much of his weight rested on one leg, and he gingerly avoided any touch on the left side of his chest. A part of her ached to watch. Still, she knew he disliked idling and wouldn't have enjoyed feeling powerless.
She looked to the fruits that she'd hung against the wall. "I have a few things you could peel from here? It would be very helpful."
Rin nodded as he sat down on the bed. Red had seeped through his bandages to the fabric of his clothing, she noticed. "I also have a change of clothes for you, if you'd like. I've washed the other set that you had worn from that day."
He gave her a strange, almost thoughtful stare. "So what I'm wearing now..."
"The physician helped you out of all of your wet clothes that day," San uttered defensively, pointedly ignoring how, in actuality, changing him out of his clothes had been a two-person ordeal, and only she and the physician had been present to help. With the fear that had gripped her so tightly that day, though, it wasn't as though she could have even processed what she'd seen or touched--which wasn't much. In fact, appreciation for his physique was the last thing on her mind that day. Still, it was unseemly to admit to undressing him. With one eye shut, San held her fingers a few centimeters apart before her other eye and gave a rough estimation of how much she'd actually seen. "That's what I saw when I changed your bandages."
Still, he wore that curious expression as he watched her--the same expression that bore through her and made her feel as though he could read her mind--and San found herself grabbing several more fruits than necessary out of the basket. Hastily, she reached for the clothing she had neatly folded to the side with her other hand. The urge to toss either item at him in her embarrassment was overwhelming.
She was never undressing another man in her life again, she decided, injured or otherwise. If Rin wound up at her doorstep bloodied, injured, half-naked, dripping wet, or in any combination of the above, she would roll him up in an oversized blanket, and he would simply have to deal with it himself.
She deposited the items beside him, grabbed the blanket, and nonchalantly wrapped the fabric around his shoulders. "Here." Nice and covered up. Without waiting on a reply, she quickly made her way outside.
It didn't occur to her until several moments later that:
A) She hadn't given him any knives to peel the fruits with,
B) She hadn't changed his bandages yet,
and C) She should have anticipated he'd want a bath after so many days.
------
Author's Note: Next up... a bath scene?! :)
Thank you again for dropping by to read this chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter should be out in a week!