Chapter 3: Faceboot
“They only made me realize that even the best things in life are… sad with prolonged loneliness.” – Holly Esther
*
“Hello Annie, Faceboot welcomes you back! How do you feel today, Julie? You are currently in a relationship with Fred, Natasha.”
The girl-whose-name-changed-every-time reclined in her chair. Somehow the glowing screen in front of her was a very important part of her life. It was where she, Katie, found her love. It was where she, Hazel, connected with hundreds of friends from days long past. The program named Faceboot was a crucial part of Sally’s life.
True, it had its dark parts. Emmeline got bullied once in here. Her profile had to be taken down once so she, Nancy, could pull herself together and face the world and her friends.
The glowing box called the computer did what computations the human imagination failed to do. It replaced imagination, starting with numbers.
How did it feel to own one?
*
Holly opened her eyes. Again with a weird dream. The ceiling stared back. She sat up and cupped her face with her hands.
Foreign concepts and experiences seemed to invade her dreams. She found it very weird, seeing that despite reading hundreds of pages every day, none of what she read entered her dreams.
Another weird thing was that often, in the dreams, she would feel herself change in her sense of identity. First, she was Mary, then she was Annie, then she was Jane. It felt as if she flipped through the personalities of ten different people in the span of ten seconds.
Why?
She would wake up dazzled and confused. They were often vivid dreams, dreams that she would remember as clear as day. They would present her with foreign concepts and alien understandings. For example, she had never seen how a city of skyscrapers would look like. She knew of the existence of something called the worldwide web, once upon a time, before the time she was supposed to be born. In her dreams, she had seen airplanes.
She had asked Emi those questions, but Emi would only shrug. Was that something like a magical ability? Were they memories of real people? Were they her memories?
Emi would only say, “You’re special, Holly. You survived, even when your family was lost. It might mean something, it might not. I’m still trying to understand you.” And Emi said just that, by her side, right now. The young lady was carrying a tray with a tea set on it and a plate stacked with buttered toast.
Holly sighed. “Why do you always sound like you are reading my mind?”
Emi straightened her glasses. The tray wobbled. “I felt your brainwaves. I knew it meant that you were going to wake up. What is it this time? Airplanes?”
“Faceboot,” Holly replied with a straight face. Emi giggled.
“Ah… that was a notorious one, when I was your age. That time, people thought it impossible to imagine a future without the internet,” said Emi as she took her place on Holly’s bed, placing the tray on Holly’s bedside table.
“They didn’t imagine a future with magic,” Holly stated flatly.
“Exactly.” Emi’s head bobbed, her cheerful eyes half-closed like miniature arches. “Ah well, eat up, I’m going for some solitary research.”
“In the Room of Secrets?” Holly asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Uh… yes,” Emi nodded, her smile shrinking a bit.
“Will I ever know of all the secrets that you keep?”
“Most of them, on your fifteenth birthday,” Emi replied, the playfulness leaving her tone. “It’s just over a month away.” She stood, leaving a contemplative Holly.
Holly let herself fall on the bed again, her sight on the ceiling. She wondered how easily she trusted Emi again last night. Holly had trusted her fully when she was a child. But the older she got, the more doubtful she grew. On a first glance, Emi would look like a completely sincere guardian, but Holly had been living with her for years.
Emi claimed that she had to read book after book so she would have a stock of magical knowledge to defend herself when she was old enough to be let out. But why something like eight hundred pages a day? I’m not a walking library! Besides, if it was to defend herself, reading all those books might or might not make a difference. Her magical reserve was small, enough to light a fire in a grate, perhaps, but not much more.
“Spell 495: Air Ballet,” she spoke, extending an arm. A small gentle whirlwind sprouted out from her fingertips, wobbling morosely before dissipating into nothingness.
Holly panted. That spell made her feel like she had just run across a field. Emi’s much stronger than me. If she’s serious about letting me out on my 15th birthday, why only then? I’m still as weak as ever.
Does she think of giving me powers at that time? Do I already have it in me? Does she think that the Dark Sorcerer’s minions would stop looking for me then?
What does all that even have to do with reading thousands of books?
Holly sighed. She had asked Emi those questions. Emi would only reply, “I’ll tell you when that time comes.”
Questions… Holly put a hand over her eyes.
*
After getting ready and dressed, Holly was back in her usual day attire, a set of matching black dress with long sleeves and skirt. Not that it makes much difference here; day and night look the same.
She passed by the bookcases, reaching a different door than last night. It was marked ‘Room of Illusions’.
Gently pushing it open, Holly slipped through. It was as dark as night inside. “Room, training space,” said Holly tentatively.
The ceiling, floor and walls changed color. The floor now resembled a flat desert. The upper half of the room became the color of the sky. After three seconds, there were no floor, walls and ceiling, only a desert land. Holly could even feel the desert wind blowing in her hair.
“Spell 011: Energy Burst!” she said, pointing with a finger.
With a crack, a dispirited bolt of lightning shot through her fingers. It only shot an arm’s length away before disappearing. Holly wiped her brow. She got a long way to go before she would be on par with Emi. If it was her, unlike me, she would need all this training space. She’ll pepper this room with craters.
She sat down and hugged her knees.
Suddenly the room warped. It became a street filled with pedestrians, lined by colossal buildings of glass, concrete and steel. Vehicles moving on black wheels zoomed by, vehicles Holly had never seen in real life.
But the change didn’t surprise her. After all, the room made this scene for her before, and on those occasions she was the one providing the details.
One of the pedestrians, a blonde girl with twintails and a checkered skirt approached her. “Yo, Holly.”
“Heya, Lucy.” Holly looked up.
“Ya know… you look… troubled.”
Holly smiled wistfully. Lucy was the AI Construct of the Room of Illusions. Once in a while, she and Holly would talk like friends would do. Holly often wondered if she was real, being a construct made of magic and all, but in her situation, even any company that was remotely human was more than welcome.
Lucy stooped and held out a hand. Holly grasped it, and Lucy pulled her up. “Uh, just the usual stuff. Dreams and all, Emi hiding stuff…”
Lucy snorted. “I’ll make you feel better in a bit.”
“How?” asked Holly, and the floor disappeared, leaving only an endless void. Everything else was gone.
She fell through the air, screaming. It was a long fall, and the moment of shock passed, replaced by laughter. “Oh, you!” Holly yelled over the sound of the wind.
And her velocity reduced little by little, until she saw the street materialize again, and she was floating down like a dandelion seed. She landed lightly on her arms like a cat.
Standing up, Holly found herself looking into Lucy’s grey eyes.
“Well, the ice cream shop?” Lucy asked cheerfully.
“Sure,” Holly grinned.
*
In the Room of Illusions, all five senses were affected by the room’s properties. So eating ice cream in an ice cream parlor would feel much more real than a mere dream.
Lucy seemed to know psychology to be considerate enough to order ice cream for herself too. Holly ate hers in silence, savoring the taste of green mint, her eyes fixed on the window showing the street outside. In the presence of all these humans, she felt a pang of loneliness to know that they were not real.
Alone…
One tear escaped her eye, but she wiped it away.
But Lucy noticed her. “I saw that.”
Holly frowned, and she grimaced. “Of course you do.”
Lucy pointed with her wooden spoon. “Ya know, I’m practically this room. Isn’t it meta enough for you to realize that little teardrop that you wiped away is a part of me?”
Holly only smiled and silently continued enjoying her cup of ice cream.
Lucy put down her own cup of peanut butter ice cream, and added, “You feel lonely.”
Holly realized it was not a question, but a statement. But then, it was not the first time she let Lucy know that. “Yes, again, I know.” Holly shrugged. “You know about the fairy tale Rapunzel?”
“So Emi is the witch,” Lucy pointed out bluntly. “You waiting for the prince?”
“Lol, no!” Holly let out a brief mirthless laugh. “I just… wish that I know why I’m here, why I’m treated this way.”
“And Emi’s explanations fail to convince you,” Lucy said, twirling her spoon.
“Yes, I know they’re logical and all, Emi always is, she’s good at making justifications, but, argh, I don’t know, she’s hiding something,” Holly mumbled.
Lucy only nodded sympathetically. Holly wondered if she was talking to a real person who really understood feelings.
“What do you think about feelings, Lucy?”
At this, Lucy brought her hands together and twiddled her thumbs, her sight focused somewhere on her right. “Well…”
Silence returned. Holly allowed herself a small grin as she asked, “Lucy? You know the dream I once had of Faceboot? Do you know why I find it so special?”
“Why? You had it again?”
Holly nodded briefly. “Yes, but that’s not it. Can you imagine how wonderful it is, to be able to connect with other people, to be seen, to be able to let other people know your feelings, you can share your day, your experiences, see what other people think, see things from other people’s eyes? I mean, they’re with you even when you’re far away and can’t see each other.”
Holly took a deep breath and continued, “It gets depressing to be alone. You know, how I asked you to recreate scenes from my dreams, of ice rinks, cinemas, candy stores, rivers, waterfalls, beaches, shopping malls?”
“Yes?” asked Lucy, eyes widening.
“They only made me realize that even the best things in life are… sad with prolonged loneliness.”
“Well, ya know, Holly, you might be luckier than most. Ya know, what with the world outside being left in ruins and all… so these things probably don’t actually exist anymore.”
Holly nodded in agreement.
Lucy scratched her head. “And back to your question, on feelings… maybe…” she hesitated. “Maybe… maybe I can feel you. I’m alone too, ya know. I can create endless illusions, a crowd, girls and boys, men and women, everything, but in the end, it’s just… me.”
That statement made Holly think. In the end it’s just… you? Are you real?
“Congratulations to you, Holly, in a month or two, you’ll be allowed to get out, right? As for me… I’ll still be here, I guess. One day I’ll be free. I believe that I will. Would you take me with you when that time comes?”
Holly thought hard. An AI construct was just a bunch of magical energy made sentient. She wondered whether it was possible for Lucy to be separated from the room. It was like separating the fire from the lantern.
“Lol,” Tamaki’s head popped up out of nowhere and landed on Holly’s.