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Here's my dilemma, while I'm slowly grinding to Jungle by Tash Sultana, his eyes are exactly where I want them to be. Glued to me, intently eyeing the gyration of my dancing. I wanted to seem carefree but deep down I'm trapped in a dark room with my inner self-telling me to just go with it.
As he takes another sip of his beer, he gets closer to get a better view of his 'what if'. I'm stuck between 'if it's meant to be it will be' and 'just fucking go for it.' The music guided my movements, and I felt the vibration of the speakers beneath my feet. I felt his desire.
I take a glimpse of Lip, and he was right where I wanted him. I bite my lip and continue to grind to the music while slowly touching my body. As soon as he begins to walk towards me, I hear a whistle trying to get my attention and see one of our frequent customers signaling me to go upstairs. I roll my eyes and walk towards the asshole.
"What?!" I tell Conner Turnerman, he was a prick, but he was a prick with money.
"Sorry El, your brother told me that you have the bud." He says taken aback by my rudeness. I didn't care though.
I scan the party looking for Lip and see him talking to a random girl that apparently wanted him. The sad part was, she will probably get him because that's just how its been in the last couple of weeks.
I speed walk upstairs clearly pissed and go down the hallway stopping at the door. I do a secret knock, and pop goes the redhead, Ian. He looks at Conner them back at me and opens the door.
I sit down on the bed and pull out a bag of weed in a holographic book bag. Conner gives me a blank stare, and I refuse to provide him with the bag unless I see the money.
"When will I get to have a piece of that Puerto Rican spice?" Conner says while pulling out cash, I snatch the money and start counting.
"Sorry, no habla fucktardo. Now go before I punch you in the face." I roll my eyes and look at a laughing Ian.
"I like them feisty. I'll be waiting!" Conner says as Ian closes the door on him.
Ian sees me pout on the bed and sits down beside me and lights a joint, "So what's on your mind?"
"Does Lip have a thing for me?" I bluntly ask watching the ribbons of smoke escape his mouth.
"Seriously?" He asks and takes another hit.
"Yes, I need to know. I'm dying here!" I exaggerate.
"Well yeah, but it could never happen. So he doesn't bother he just hopes in the distance." I furrow my eyebrows and grab the joint.
It was exactly what I didn't want to hear. I knew why it could never happen which made my blood boil. Ethan just had to be all buddy buddy with Lip. I love my brother to death but he can just be such a fucking cock block.
"What do you mean?" I then take a hit to calm down my constant anxiety.
"Since you guys moved here Ethan and Lip have been hanging out non stop. They became extremely close, and the fact that you're his twin doesn't make it easy for Lip." I blow out smoke waiting for more. "You're the forbidden fruit."
"What does he see in Karen?" I pass the joint, and he rolls his eyes.
"Karen is just convenient and easy." I fell back on the bed and pursed my lips. "Lip really likes you I can tell. I think everyone can but you and Ethan." He laughs.
"Why do I torture myself like this?!" I complain.
"Didn't you promise not to be involved with anyone? You need to stop caring if Lip likes you and love yourself. Relationships suck, what's the point." I shoot up and hold myself up with my elbows.
"Thank you, Ian. Are you and Mickey okay?" I ask.
"I never know with him." I lean into Ian with a comforting hug, and the door opens revealing Lip.
"Ian, I thought you were gay?" Lip jokes. I roll my eyes and pack all the weed and money up.
"I'm going to head home; it's really late. Lip, where's Ethan?" I asked while putting on my jean jacket.
"He's actually going to a house of some girl he hit it off with downstairs, so he asked me to take you home." Lip flashes me a big smile.
I couldn't take it anymore, and I did not want to end up alone with Lip. That was the last thing that needed to happen. The fact that he's so charming and attractive doesn't quite help me with my dilemma.
"No need. I'm perfectly capable of going home alone anyway." I flash a big smile back mocking him.
"Not going to happen." Lip sternly says.
I look behind Lip to Ian hoping he can save me, "Ian?" I ask.
"Sorry, I'm meeting up with Mandy." He shrugs.
There was no way I could go home with Ian if he were going to see Mandy Skankovich. I thought since I'm friends with the Gallaghers she would be inviting and nice, but she's a total bitch that hates me. Why? Because I'm apparently some privileged plastic, or that's what she refers me as. Even though I live on the south side and have a weed business with my brother she sees it as, once a rich girl always a rich girl.
It's honestly her loss anyways. I'm not even that way at all, but not many can see past that. She doesn't like me? That's fine, and she can stand in line with all the other bitches in Chicago who don't seem to like me.
I look back at Lip seeing that his arms were crossed and he was serious about taking me home. But guess what? I don't fucking care. I can take care of myself.
"Goodbye Ian, I'm going home by myself because I'm not a fucking child," I admit that comment itself was childish, but I was trying to make a point.
I walk out with the holographic book bag rested on my shoulders. I pushed passed drunk teenagers down the hallway and the stairs.
"Ellie! Wait up!" I hear Lip call out after me over the loud music but continued to walk out the house.
My stomach drops as I get hit by a truck that's called anxiety. I hated being around large crowds but not if I'm under the influence. Lip killed my high, so I had to suffer while walking past the horny teenagers who reeked of booze.
"Ellie!" I turn around seeing Lip up my ass.
"What?" I bark at him. A second later the girl that was all over him earlier grabs his arm drunk as fuck.
"Hey, wanna go somewhere?" She slurs, and I roll my eyes and leave the house.
I take out my phone from my pocket to see my recent text messages and missed calls. I got one missed call from Kev. A couple of text messages from Debbie and a text message from Ethan telling me he will see me tomorrow. I hear footsteps become louder the closer they get to me.
"You have to stop being so god damn stubborn." He gasps for some air after his little jog after me.
"And you and Ethan have to stop treating me like a child." I scoffed.
"It can get dangerous; this isn't Cali." He says in the most sincere tone. I wanted to just hug him for being sweet, but, I could never let him know that.
"I carry a knife," I affirmed.
I did. I carry two. They are both hidden knives, and I love them dearly. One is disguised to look like a pink comb, that's also very needed in my bag. The other was hidden in a fake key on my keychain. My father always made sure Ethan and I were able to protect ourselves. He even always used to teach Ethan how to fight; the lessons would always end in blood and tears. That can be the cause of Ethan's anger issues.
Lip grabs my arm stopping me from walking and spins me to face him. As his hands are on each of my arms, he looks me dead in the eyes with his cerulean blue eyes, "Just let me take you home, please."
"Okay," I say under my breath. Lip made my heart beat faster than it should.
We decide to take a cab using some cash Lip had in his pocket. The car ride was quiet due to us being exhausted. I smelled the alcohol off of Lip's clothes which kind of bothered me. As I look out the window, I feel Lip staring at me which he always did. But this time it made my stomach do backflips. We finally make it home, and I rummage the book bag for my keys. Lip gets out the car and waits for me to follow him out. I unlock the door and drop my book bag on the couch and walk towards my kitchen. I grab the two things I have every night since I was a little girl, milk, and cookies.
I pour the milk into a glass cup and take out a pack of chips hoys. I look up at our kitchen island where Lip was sitting. He watches as I dip my cookie in my milk.
"You really always eat cookies and milk every night, huh?" Lip chuckles.
Why the fuck was he still here? At 2 in the fucking morning may I add.
"It relaxes my nerves, calms me down," I say while eating a cookie.
"And why is it that you need to calm yourself down? Is it Ethan?" He questions.
"He can be one reason, amongst other things." I start dipping another cookie and Lip grabs a cookie and takes a bite of it.
"One reason happen to be because of the girl from the party was all over me?" He smirks, and I smile back.
"Why would that bother me?" I ask trying to stay cool.
He finishes his cookie and stretches his arms before placing them behind his head, "I don't know, you just seemed kind of jealous. Just want to know if I pressed a button."
Now he's trying to press my buttons? He's honestly so gorgeous I would let him press any button he wants.
I put away the cookies and chug my milk, "I'm going to bed, it's late."
I try to scurry away, and Lip stops me from walking, "Want me to join you?"
He bites his lip while looking down at me. I clear my throat and blink away from his eyes, "Goodnight Phillip." I say.
My eyes meet back to his, and I notice our lips are inches away from each other. His jaw clenches as he stares at my lips and I my heart starts to beat faster. I wanted this for weeks now, since I first moved here, when I first met those eyes.
"Fuck it." He growls. He slams his lips to mine nearly knocking the wind from my lungs. He presses his tongue to the seam of my lips and, at my grant of access, delved inside my mouth. His hands wrapped around my waist and mine wrapped around his neck pulling him down slightly for more. I had the expected fireworks, tingles and desire. As we parted, I saw his eyes sparkle and his lips curve up into a smile, and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Goodnight Arielle." He whispers.
I wake up the next morning nearly hovering off my bed with the endless butterflies in my stomach. The morning light trickled through the blinds, and I hear noise coming from downstairs. I brush my teeth and try to brush my tangled hair since I looked ridiculous. I wish I woke up beautiful like girls on tv, but you can't have everything.
I run down the stairs towards the kitchen seeing Lip, Ian, and Ethan making breakfast. The smell of bacon hits me like a ton of bricks and my stomach begins to growl.
"Mmmm smells yummy," I say while grabbing a slice of toast.
Ethan looks over behind and flashes a smile, "Sleeping Beauty is awake! We have bacon, toast, eggs, and home fries." He shouts over the sizzling from the bacon.
"Someone got laid and is in a happy mood." Lip laughs while chowing down on some eggs.
"Gross." I grimaced.
"Thanks for taking Ellie home last night, wouldn't have happened without you helping me out." Ethan beams.
I look over to Lip while awkwardly eating my eggs and he gives me a slight smirk. "Uh, anytime man," Lip says.
I look back at Lip then at Ian. Ian's eyebrows were furrowed as he stared at Lip and me. I knew this morning would be awkward, but I didn't think it'd end up this awkward.
"Shit what time is it? I have to go, here's the rest of the bacon." Ethan rushes and starts to look for his wallet and phone.
I walk over to the coffee table and come back with his things, "Where are you going?" I ask.
"Alibi, see you later!" He shouts before slamming the door.
I walk back to the kitchen and Lip quickly looks away from me and starts to get up.
"Hey wanna do something today?" I ask hoping for a yes. Just because we kissed doesn't mean we can't still hang out right?
"Uh, I'm actually going to go meet up with Karen." He says.
Karen fucking Jackson. The wicked bitch of the south side.
I go after Lip and grab his shoulder and walk in front of him, "Karen? Really?" I hissed.
"Look, I know we kissed, but it can't happen again. I can't do that to Ethan." He says. I cross my arms and look away.
"So it meant nothing." I struggle to hold back a tear.
"I just can't." He whispers.
He walks out the house leaving me frozen in place. My body started to ignite with flames, and my heart cracked a bit. How could I go to sleep the happiest I've ever been in a long time to have the next morning turn to shit. I walk back into the kitchen and throw myself on the chair clearly pissed.
"What happened last night?" Ian asks.
"I'm the forbidden fruit," I say. And that I was. Lip knows the consequences of trying the fruit, and he took a risk. We crave what we can't have. The only thing I have now to grasp on is the taste I had the night before.
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Thank you for reading! I have big plans for this book, and I'm just so excited for it. I'd love for you guys to comment and let me know what you think. I'll try to update often xx.