izzylightwood: ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD
aleclightwood: oh my
maiaroberts: what did you do now alec
aleclightwood: i do not know
izzylightwood: YOU'RE A LYING LIAR WHO LIES
aleclightwood: WHAT DID I DO
izzylightwood: WHY DID YOU LIE TO MY FUCKING FACE
aleclightwood: ABOUT WHAT OH MY GOD
izzylightwood: ABOUT YOUR ENGAGEMENT
aleclightwood: ,, i didnt lie
aleclightwood: i just didnt tell u
magnusbane: you really didn't tell isabelle?
aleclightwood: i was gonna
izzylightwood: YOU GOT ENGAGED TWO DAYS AGO
jacelightwood: he didnt tell any of us
claryfairchild: alec are we not friends
aleclightwood: clary ur my best friend we've established this
claryfairchild: THEN WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME YOU FUCK BAG
aleclightwood: I AM SORRY JEEZ I WAS BUSY
simonlewis: he hasn't been in the gc so
raphaelsantiago: i knew
izzylightwood: excuse
magnusbane: i told him
jacelightwood: and you havent told us ???
magnusbane: nope.
jacelightwood: wow we aren't friends anymore
magnusbane: we were never friends.
maiaroberts: I LEAVE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND COME BACK TO JACE GETTING SNATCHED I LOVE THIS
claryfairchild: why is alec always rude to simon and magnus is always rude to jace
simonlewis: rs goals
aleclightwood: fuck off sheldon
simonlewis: wow
magnusbane: jace, stop typing i am uninterested in your input.
izzylightwood: WOW WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM TODAY
aleclightwood: someone told me to drop the zero and get myself a hero
claryfairchild: so,, is magnus to zero ??
aleclightwood: apparently ?? i wanted to square up
simonlewis: they're probably legally blind we shouldn't fight disabled people
magnusbane: i hate straight people
aleclightwood: so clary and i pretended to be straight for a day
claryfairchild: isnt it funny watching me pretend to be straight
maiaroberts: it was hilarious watching them try to act straight
claryfairchild: i couldn't do it and bought smth rainbow after like an hour
jacelightwood: you can't be straight when you have a boyfriend like magnus bane
aleclightwood: fair enough
aleclightwood: he's a snack
izzylightwood: a fucking snack ?? what do you eat him ???
izzylightwood: wait
aleclightwood: yes
magnusbane: he's gotten quite good at it
raphaelsantiago: that is my cue to leave
simonlewis: you weren't here in the first place
raphaelsantiago removed simonlewis from the conversation
aleclightwood: thank god
magnusbane: can you take jace with him
jacelightwood: fuck you
maiaroberts: STOP THE VIOLENCE
aleclightwood: DONT STOP THE VIOLENCE
izzylightwood: WE ALWAYS NEED MORE VIOLENCE
aleclightwood: YEAH KICK HIS ASS
aleclightwood: too far ??? nah kicK HIS ASS
jacelightwood: alec are u ok
aleclightwood: i think im drunk
izzylightwood: you,,, think
aleclightwood: i dont remember if i was drinking
magnusbane: you are literally drinking right now alexander
aleclightwood: oh so that's what this is
aleclightwood: i thought it was piss for a second
maiaroberts: i think its time for him to be cut off
aleclightwood: no im celebrating my engagement
izzylightwood: yeaH THE ENGAGEMENT YOU DIDNT TELL ME ABOUT BITCH
aleclightwood: stop the violence
claryfairchild: didnt you just say not to stop the violence
aleclightwood: that was before the violence was aimed at me i am a good person who's done nothing to deserve this i am soft and deserve love
magnusbane: he's giggling to himself right now
magnusbane: i dont think he's okay
aleclightwood: magnus wont let me cuddle him
claryfairchild: im gettin cuddles rn hAAAA
aleclightwood: fuck you carrot
claryfairchild: disrespect we arent friends anymore
aleclightwood: wait no
claryfairchild: izzy's boobs are nice pillows
aleclightwood: so are magnus'
aleclightwood: wait those are called pecs
magnusbane: you just said i have boobs
aleclightwood: i forgot what they were called for a second
magnusbane: i now have boobs
magnusbane: my entire life has been a lie
maiaroberts: alright its been ten seconds and neither of them have said anything
magnusbane: he knows my weakness
aleclightwood: i kissed him so he'd stop making fun of me
aleclightwood: oh god im gonna be twenty five soon
aleclightwood: im practically dust at this point
magnusbane: i take offense to that
maiaroberts: this thing says "make out and kissing" im
aleclightwood: yes bc making out and kissing isnt the same thing
raphaelsantiago: jace tell your boyfriend to leave me alone
jacelightwood: what's he doing now
raphaelsantiago: he won't stop messaging me to add him back
jacelightwood added simonlewis to the conversation
aleclightwood: oh no gotta go back to drinking my cup of piss
simonlewis: um what did i miss
magnusbane: alec is drinking whiskey and he thought it was urine
aleclightwood: watersports
claryfairchild: oh god no
aleclightwood: im a piss slut
magnusbane: he is not don't listen to him
aleclightwood: what is it like to be peed on
izzylightwood: i imagine it wouldn't be pleasant
aleclightwood: it'll be warm
simonlewis: but it'll smell
aleclightwood: magnus
magnusbane: i won't pee on you
aleclightwood: that's not what i was gonna ask
magnusbane: really
aleclightwood: i was gonna ask if u can get pizza
jacelightwood: alec is so needy
aleclightwood: go choke you bleached blonde bitch
simonlewis: ha alliteration
jacelightwood: MY HAIRS NATURAL
aleclightwood: no it isnt
jacelightwood: shut the fuck up
aleclightwood: magnus is ordering pizza bless
maiaroberts: smh this gc is so lit i forgot to say smth haHAHA OOPS
aleclightwood: who r u ????
simonlewis: ohm y god
maiaroberts: alec shut the fuck up
aleclightwood: ¡¡ stop the violence !!
simonlewis: how did u move the i down like that
jacelightwood: oh my god simon
simonlewis: what did i do now
claryfairchild: how the hell are you smart yet so DUMB
simonlewis: ???
aleclightwood: how did i,, make the i,, low,,, are you fucking me simon
simonlewis: no but im fucking your brother
jacelightwood: excuse me
simonlewis: you brothers fucking me
aleclightwood: ew ?????
jacelightwood: u were just talking about eating out magnus shut up
magnusbane: it is three am and i am stuck with alec who is very. drunk.
aleclightwood: u dont have to keep an eye on me i am an ADULT !!
magnusbane: he just tried to use the cup as a telescope
magnusbane: with alcohol still in the cup
izzylightwood: why are you still letting him drink
magnusbane: i told him he was cut off and he started crying
magnusbane: i am weak willed
aleclightwood: i just thought i'd mention that magnus' thighs are a sin
claryfairchild: didnt you call magnus a walking sin the first time you saw him
aleclightwood: i wouldn't be surprised if i did
magnusbane: he is snuggling into my thighs this shouldn't be this cute
izzylightwood: when you first meet alec he's really stoic and bitchy but then you get to know him and he's literally one of the softest people you'll ever meet
aleclightwood: im not soft im HARD
aleclightwood: ha
maiaroberts: i fucking fell asleep what did i miss
aleclightwood: an invitation
maiaroberts: are we gonna have a problem alec
aleclightwood: what no im sorry
maiaroberts: that's what i thought
aleclightwood: she scares me
maiaroberts: good
aleclightwood: im sleepy
simonlewis: sleep? i dont know her
aleclightwood: sleepy sleepy sleep time magnus' thighs are comfortable and he's warm and he's playing with my hair i am blessed is this what heaven feels like
izzylightwood: that's gay
aleclightwood: im gay
simonlewis: we know
claryfairchild: we know
izzylightwood: we know
raphaelsantiago: we know
maiaroberts: we know
magnusbane: we know
aleclightwood: glad we've established that
( a/n "lying liar who lies" "isnt it funny watching me pretend to be straight" "he's a snack" "stop the violence" "im a good person who's done nothing to deserve this i am soft and deserve love" "fuck you carrot" "im practically dust at this point" "yes bc making out and kissing isn't the same thing" "im a piss slut" "magnus' thighs are a sin" are irl quotes )