"I went to her house today."
"Whose?"
"Joanne's."
I sit on my bed, cell phone to my ear and the covers over the lower half of my body. I sit up and watch muted Star Wars whilst I'm on the phone with Mikey. He's getting closer and closer to California, he says. The big money, he says.
"Oh. How is she?" I hear him move a little bit inside the cramped up van. Mikey has to whisper since most of them are asleep at the moment.
"She seems great. I mean, her husband must make her happy." I have to spit out the word husband. I still can't believe she got remarried.
"Oh, Julee. She got remarried?"
"Yep. And he knows who we are. Recognized me right away."
"MCR fan. Good man." I can tell Mikey is nodding right now.
"Mikey! This is a step father I never even knew about!" My voice gets a little bit higher as I nearly yell.
"Sorry! Sorry! I was just saying!" Mikey sighs. "Well, I'll let you go to bed. I need some sleep too. So, goodnight love."
"Goodnight Mikey. I love you." I say calmly.
"I miss you Juls."
I smile to myself. "I miss you too, Rockstar."
Mikey chuckles. "Love ya."
"Love you too. Night." I hang up and set my phone on the nightstand. Then, I turn off the TV and curl up in bed.
But I don't fall asleep as easily as I wish I could. My mind goes off wondering about things I haven't thought about in a while. Mostly, my father. I think about how Mikey doesn't know anything about him. He doesn't know about my murderous acts.
In all reality, just missing that one piece of information about me, he doesn't know anything about me at all.
That one partial thing about me will explain so many things. About the reason I have never had a boyfriend. The reason I'm so close to Billie Joe. Why whenever someone brings my father up, I just have to leave the room. There's just so much to my personality that's tied to my dad.
I have to tell Mikey.
But how? When? And most importantly, how the fuck will he react? I turn over and over in bed, trying to think about it. I end up putting my pillow to my face and screaming into it. I throw it towards my right and place my hands over my face.
This is wayyyyy too difficult.
Well, I'm guessing this is one thing I'll have to think about later on. Because all I'm doing to myself now is getting frustrated. Hell, I need a drink. I get up out of my bed and into the kitchen to grab a beer. I drink three cans and walk back to bed.
~1 Month Later~
"Thank you!"
I leave the shop with a bag. A small bag. I small bag, and a large smile on my face. I skip out of the mall and to my car, getting into the drivers seat and opening the bag. Inside, a black box. I open the black box and reveal the engagement ring for Mikey I bought in advance.
At the moment, MCR and Hannah are in California. San Diego, Mikey said last night. They're spending some extra time there just chill. So in one hour, I'm flying down there.
It's going to be a surprise for everyone minus Hannah. She's the one picking me up from the airport. Then she's taking me somewhere to hide out until she gets me. I'm so excited to see everybody, you don't even know. My heart pounds as I race down the highway.
I arrive at the airport and get my ticket, running towards the gate holding my messenger bag and waving off MCR fans. I do stop once I'm at the gate to sign shit. I don't know how they know me that well, but they know me.
I look at myself in the mirror. I just recently dyed my hair back to black. All of it. And I'm very satisfied with it. I kind of like having just one colour in my hair and not a lot. I fix my eyeliner and wait a few minutes before they call the first class to go. I check in my ticket and dance on my way to my seat.
Every single airport I stop at, I have to sign somebody's something. They ask how Mikey's doing, where I'm going. They tell me to tell the guys thank you for them. I give pep talks to most. But once I'm in LAX, I find one boy sitting on the floor. He looks as miserable as I do some nights.
I walk to him and sit down. He looks up at me and waves. I wave back and nod. "What's wrong?"
He looks at me, his blue eyes becoming glassy. I open my arms out wide for him, and he takes the invitation. The boy about 17 years old allows me to hold him as he sobs into my orange butterfly shirt.
After he's composed enough to speak, he pulls away from me and wipes his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm just really sad at the moment." He apologizes.
"No, don't worry about it. What's your name?" I look at him concerned.
"Sam. You're Julee Armstrong," he smiles at me.
I nod. "Sure enough. Do you want to tell me what's wrong, or do you want to keep it to yourself?"
Sam shakes his head. "I came here to LAX so I can see my parents. I live in New Mexico, you see. And I get here to get a call on my phone from the police department."
"What did they say?"
He swallows, having to retell the story to me that he lived just moments ago. "They said my parents died in a car accident on their way here." Another tears escapes his eye.
"Oh, Sam. I'm so sorry." I wrap my arms around his shoulders and hold him. "But listen to me. No matter what you do, even if I'm being hypocritical. Don't self harm. Don't destroy yourself. I know I shouldn't be saying things I don't even follow, but I am. I don't want to see you one day getting drunk under a bridge, getting wasted. Cutting yourself or adding on to scars. If I ever run into you again, I want to see you happy. Happy with someone you love." I make Sam look at me. "Do you understand? Can you do that, for me and my fiance's band?"
Sam nods and gives me a promising smile. I return it and hug him one last time. "Well, I'm going to see my sister. You should come down to San Antonio tonight. I'll be there with My Chem."
Sam agrees to meet me there. I depart and walk my gate to San Antonio. 30 minutes later, I arrive and spot Hannah right away. Her hair is back to all red.
"Hannah!" I yell her name and run towards her. I tackle her to the ground. She laughs, I laugh, and people give us weird looks. We laugh for a good 5 minutes before we stand back up.
"Julee, let's go. I know where you can stay before the show. We got a show here in LA so we don't have to drive far." Hannah explains.
I nod and grab my bag. Hannah and I walk out of the airport, and to who knows where.
Well. I found out.
It's a place by the venue. Well, it's actually a wooded area. I'm stuck here while the guys get ready for the show. Hannah will get me once they get 2 songs into it and Gerard is taking a talking break. I'll come out on stage and just... SURPRISE!
"Lalalaa..." I sing to myself. I kick around a few rocks whilst I wait. I start to hum Vampires Will Never Hurt You. I think of the other song Ray had taught me to play. Demolition Lovers. It's my favorite song on the album, to be honest. And Gerard dedicated it to Hannah. Aw.
20 minutes goes by before Hannah comes out to where I'm standing and gives me a nod. I smile and walk with her to the venue, and inside. I get butterflies as I walk to backstage. I hear the end of Headfirst for Halos and then Gerard starts to talk.
I walk in halfway through it. People notice me and cheer, smiling and pointing. Gerard is the first to notice my appearance. Then Ray, Frank, Matt, and...
Mikey.
I head for Gerard first, though. I run and jump into his arms. Gerard chuckles as he holds me tight. "Great to see you Juls."
I pull away and smile at him. I make my way over to Ray and force him to hug me. Then Matt, that crazy dude. And then Frank. Frank puts his guitar down and runs to me instead, jumping into my arms. I laugh as he yells, "PRINCESS! I MISSED YOU!"
"I MISSED YOU TOO FRANKIE!" I yell back.
Frank pulls away and points behind me. I turn around and find Mikey there standing awkwardly, his bass in Gerard's hands. The biggest smile of all appears on my face as I run full speed to him, yelling "MIKEY MIKEY MIKEY!" Over and over.
I arrive into his arms, which feels like home to me. "I have missed you so fucking much," Mikey says to me.
"I know. I have too."