Los Angeles, 2017
"I see you," Aiden says, his hand clutching on to Rio's arm tightly, the wind whipping around them.
Rio looks down, his feet dangle stories above the ground, and below there are hundreds of people gathered below with their phone cameras pointed straight at him.
Rio turns his head to look back up at Aiden, a desperate look in his eyes. It makes Rio's chest hurt.
Daphne appears next to Aiden, looking down at Rio coldly.
"I told you." She says, but her voice sounds different, demonic. "You'll never be together. You two can never work."
"Yes we can." Rio says, but his voice gets lost and carried away in the wind. He tries to speak again, but this time no sound comes out.
"Just let him go, Aiden." Daphne says. "Do us all a favor. Do yourself a favor for sure. You'll never be great if you've got him dragging you down with him. Trust me."
Aiden looks down at Rio, and he can see his face change, the desperation turns to a look of nonchalance, like he doesn't care about Rio at all.
That makes Rio's chest hurt even more.
"Goodbye, Rio." Aiden says.
Rio tried to scream, beg for Aiden to never let him go, but he does, Aiden's death grip on his arm loosening until he's not holding him anymore.
Then, Rio is falling to the ground, it's the longest fall of his life as he tries to scream but there's still no sound.
On the balcony, Aiden and Daphne watch him with a smirk, and then together they turn and walk away.
Rio's eyes pop open immediately after tossing and turning from the bad dream. He reaches over next to me, and feels the space empty and cold. Aiden is gone.
He sits up, rubbing his eyes and looking through the darkness in the room, his eyes slowly adjusting until he could make out a few shapes. His heart is still pounding in his chest.
The door to the bedroom burst open, and James is standing in the doorway, a wild look in his eyes, and for a moment Rio wonders if he's still dreaming.
"Get dressed." James says quickly, and he sounds breathless. "Something bad has happened."
Rio doesn't need him to elaborate, he already knows what's going on.
Something bad has happened to Aiden.
Please let me still be dreaming. Rio thinks as he quickly gets up and grabs the clothes he wore yesterday and throws them on as quickly as possible, his body feels numb, and he thinks he might throw up.
•••
Rio and James rush into the hospital twenty minutes later. It was the longest car ride ever, just silence, both of them worried sick. James told he doesn't know much, just that he was on a call that went sideways.
The rush to the front desk in the Emergency Room, and the nurse sitting behind it gives them a solemn look.
"Chief Sawyer," She says softly, her eyes soft and sad. "Come right this way."
James and Rio follow her down a long hallway past a waiting room. A few people in there point and whisper about Rio, but he doesn't pay them any attention. He can't. He's only focused on one thing right now.
The nurse leads them to a private waiting room in the back of the hospital.
"How is he?" James asks. "What happened?"
"He took a bullet through to the back, that's all I really know right now." The nurse says.
"Is he alive?" James asks, voice wavering as he looks at her.
"Yes," the nurse says, "but barely. He lost a lot of blood on the way here. He's in surgery right now. I'll come and let you know something as soon as I find out. Until then, just have a seat and try to stay calm and hopeful."
The nurse turns and walks out.
James runs a hand over his head, staring out of the doorway and letting out a shaky breath.
Rio, himself, doesn't realize he's been holding his breath until he takes a ragged breath in, more tears springing to his eyes as he sinks down into a chair. He's starting to regain the feeling in his body, and everything hurts.
James moves and sits next to him, a hand covering his mouth as he tries to process everything that's happening.
Both of them sit in silence for a long time, both of them lost in thought, trying to remain hopeful like the nurse suggested but instead thinking of worst case scenarios.
"Is he going to.." Rio trails off, not knowing if he wanted to ask if Aiden was going to make it or die. None of this felt real, he still had to be lying in bed, dreaming. This was just another bad dream. That's all. He's going to wake up and Aiden was going to still be in bed with him. They were going to get married. They would have a family. They would be happy. This. This wasn't happening.
This couldn't be happening.
"I don't know." James answers after a few moments pass, because he didn't know if Aiden would live or die at this point, but things were feeling pretty bleak. It would be his fault, his fault that his wife died, and his fault that his only child died, too. He was the one that forced Aiden into law enforcement, if he had just let him follow his dreams from the beginning, they wouldn't be sitting here in this waiting room right now.
Rio pinches his arm as hard as he can, twisting the skin, trying to get himself to wake up. Nothing was happening. He was still here.
Neither of them know how much time has passed, it's felt like an eternity, but finally James says something.
"Rio," James says, looking at him. "Are you a religious guy?"
"I believe in God." Rio says softly. "But I've never really gone to church before."
James nods his head. "As long as you believe that's all that matters. Will you pray with me?"
Rio nods his head, and for the first time since he woke up, he feels hot tears in his eyes. He and James take each other's hands and bow their heads.
"Lord," James starts to pray, and as he prays their tears come down hard and heavy, streaming down their faces as his words grow in intensity and passion. Rio can feel something happening within him, something that had been happening ever since Aiden saved him on that balcony, the cold within him had been warming, and now it was completely melting away. With every tear that falls and every cry out to God, he felt himself becoming stronger, and faith like he's never had before.
"Amen." James finishes.
"Amen." Rio says.
James hugs him, and Rio hugs him back, the two of them crying as they seek comfort in each other.
•••
Aiden stands in an open field. The sun is bright and warm, the grass is a lush green, and there are multi-colored flowers among the green.
He looks around, trying to figure out where he is, but he isn't very worried about it, there's an intense happiness within him, a peace that he's never felt before.
"Hey, stranger." Aiden hears a familiar voice say.
He whips around looking for the source of the sound, and then he sees her, standing a distance away beneath a large tree.
"Ma," Aiden says softly, and then he's running to her. The grass whips around his feet as he does, a smile spreading across his face as he gets closer and closer, until they're wrapping each other in a warm embrace. "Ma..."
"Hey, baby." She says, giving him a familiar hug, one that he hasn't felt in forever, and one that he's missed for so long.
Aiden pulls away to look at her. "I can't believe it's you."
"It's me." She says, reaching up and cupping his cheek. "I've missed you, Aiden."
"I've missed you, too." Aiden says. "Am I dead?"
"I've been watching over you." She says, ignoring his question. "Come on, let's go for a walk. We have a lot to talk about."
Aiden follows her, falling into step next to her as they start walking through the meadow, the tall grass parting to make a path for them.
"You're happy with him." His mother says with a smile, holding on to his arm as they walk. "I haven't seen you that happy in a long time."
Rio.
"Yeah, I am." Aiden says. "I love him."
"I know it, sweetheart." She says, patting his arm. "I wish you would've told me before I died. I would've still loved you. You're father on the other hand, well, he would've been a different story."
"I was afraid he was going to hate me. That's how it seemed when he first found out." Aiden says. "Then, when we got back from Mexico, he just embraced me. Accepted me."
"I know." She says. "I had to pay him a visit one night and make sure he saw clearly."
Aiden looks at her. "You never came to visit me."
"You haven't needed me." She replies. "Until now."
A bench appears to the side of them, and she sits down, patting the spot next to her. Aiden settles alongside her, and she wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him close.
"You're a man now, Aiden." She replies. "You can make your own decisions."
"What are you saying?" Aiden asks.
"You have a choice to make." She says. "I know what you should do, but I'm not at liberty to give you my opinion on things. I don't want to sway how you really feel."
"How I feel about what?" Aiden questions.
"Staying here with me." She says, looking at him. "Or going back."
"So I'm dead?" Aiden asks.
"Not yet." She replies. "But soon."
She turns her head up to the sky. Aiden looks up, and sees a black hole in the middle of the blue sky, and it's rapidly getting smaller and smaller.
"You have to think fast, Aiden." She says. "You don't have much time."
"Ma," Aiden says, and she touches his cheek again.
"Choose, Aiden." She says. "You have to choose."
A tear slips down his cheek. He feels happy here, warm, and he's back with his mother again. Then, he glances down at the ring on his finger, which is shinier here. He remembers Rio, how much Rio needs him, and then he remembers something—something that pains him.
"What's going to happen to me if I go back?" Aiden questions, looking up at the even smaller hole now, another minute and it'll be completely gone.
"You go back." She says. "I can't say a lot, but I can tell you that you'll be faced with another difficult decision."
Aiden chews on his bottom lip thoughtfully.
"Choose quickly." His Mother says. "What's it going to be?"
•••
Two and a half hours later, and Rio and James have still heard nothing. Both of them are getting restless, more anxious with each passing second, and the longer Aiden was in surgery, the more Rio tells himself that he's going to be okay, that he's going to pull through.
He has to pull through.
Rio sits in the chair, twirling the ring around his finger, hoping, praying, that Aiden is going to make it through this.
The door opens and a doctor walks in. He's tall, handsome, and has dark brown skin and a shiny bald head. He wears scrubs, and holds his surgical hat in his head, his mask is around his neck, and there's a bit of blood on front of his scrubs.
James and Rio both stand up at the same time, their hearts beating fast, and their breaths held.
The doctor looks at them. "Mr. Sawyer," He says with a nod, "My name is Dr. Tracey Sullivan. The surgery is finished."
"How is he?" James asks.
"Is he dead?" Rio asks, his voice soft and small.
The doctor looks at them both for a moment, and it crawls by so slowly.
"No, he's not dead." The doctor finally says.
Rio and James sigh in relief.
"But," He says. "There are some...complications."
"What? What are the complications?" James asks.
"Well," Dr. Sullivan says, "he took a bullet to the back, and it didn't hit his spine directly, but it did brush past it and do som damage to the bottom vertebrae. It went through his stomach, and came out on the other side. We were able to patch the stomach back up easily with minimal damage, but the spine is a different story. It's a very fragile thing, and once's it broke, it can't be fixed."
"So what does that mean?" James asks. "What are you trying to say?"
"There's a 99% chance that he'll never walk again, never regain feeling below his waist." Dr. Sullivan says. "Now, we weren't going to tell him this, but he woke up and for some reason he already knew."
James and Rio exchange a look.
"Okay," James says. "There's still a 1% chance that he'll walk again though."
"I was saying 99% generously." Dr. Sullivan says. "He'll probably never walk again."
Rio sits back down again, running a hand through his hair.
"But, the good news is that your son is alive." Dr. Sullivan says. "And he's taking the news of being paralyzed very well so far."
"Can we see him?" Rio asks.
"He's requesting to see you, Rio." Dr. Sullivan says. "Only one at a time."
Rio looks to James to make sure it's okay if he goes first, and James nods and gives him go ahead.
"Follow me." Dr. Sullivan says, leading Rio out of the waiting room and through double doors that lead to the ICU.
"Keep in mind that he may be in denial about being a paraplegic." Dr. Sullivan explains as he leads me past a line of curtains. "So, he might start to get angry, or frustrated after a few minutes when it sets in, just hit the call buttons for the nurse and they'll come in and give him a sedative."
"Thank you," Rio says as Dr. Sullivan pulls back the curtain and lets him step inside.
Rio walks in and sees Aiden lying in the bed, hooked up to plenty of machines, and with an oxygen tube in his nose. Tears start to fall down his face again.
"Aiden, Rio is here." Dr. Sullivan says.
"Thanks Doc." Aiden says, his voice low and tired sounding. He smiles at Rio. "Don't cry, baby. I'm okay."
Rio nods his head, walking to his bedside and taking his hand. Aiden gives it a soft squeeze with all the strength he can muster.
"I'm just going to check a few things and then I'll leave you two alone." Dr. Sullivan says with a charming smile, grabbing a clipboard from the end of Aiden's bed and checking a few things off as he looks at the monitors.
"This man here worked a miracle, baby." Aiden says, looking to Dr. Sullivan. "He brought me back to you."
"Nah, you brought yourself back." Dr. Sullivan says returning the clipboard and looking at Rio. "And it looks like you've got a pretty good reason to stick around."
Aiden looks at Rio and smiles. "Yeah, I do." He says, but Rio can see a certain sadness in his eyes and in his smile.
Dr. Sullivan smiles and walks out of the curtain, closing it behind him and leaving the two of them alone.
"How are you?" Rio asks, pulling the chair closer and sitting next to his bed.
"I'm good now that you're here." Aiden says. "I can't walk."
Rio sighs. "I know."
Aiden sighs and looks up at the ceiling. "I can't walk. I'll never be able to walk again."
"Aiden," Rio says.
"Don't try to give me hope, I know what Dr. Sullivan said." Aiden replies, swallowing, looking back at Rio. "I love you. You know that right?"
Rio nods his head. "Yeah, I know, I love you, too."
"Good." Aiden says, swallowing again, "Then I need you to understand why I have to do this."
"Why you have to do what?" Rio asks.
Aiden let's go of Rio's hand, and reaches for his left hand, sliding his ring off of his finger, and then putting it in Rio's hand and closing his fingers around it.
"I can't hold you back." Aiden says softly.
"No," Rio says, looking at him, fresh tears falling from his eyes. "No, Aiden, I'm not going to leave you."
"That's what I'm afraid of, Rio." Aiden says, tears springing up in his own eyes. "I'm afraid that you'll never leave me, and you'll never fly."
"Aiden. Don't you dare do this to me." Rio says through his tears. "I'm not—"
"I taught you how to love yourself." Aiden says softly. "I taught you how to be unapologetically yourself, and I need you take those lessons with you into the future, I want you to make your career your own for once, show the world the real you and I know they'll love you almost as much as I do."
Rio stares at him, shaking his head. Aiden reaches up and brushes his tears off his cheeks.
"Don't cry." Aiden says. "Just go and make me proud."
Rio can't believe what's happening to him; and he wants to scream at Aiden, tell him that he's not making a good decision, but he knows he won't be able to convince him. Maybe he's right after all. Aiden has always known him better than he's known himself.
"Please," Aiden says softly. "Please make me proud, my little blackbird."
"Aiden,"
"Go fly."
Rio can see it in his eyes, the determination, and he knows he's not getting through to him. He knows that this is a decision that Aiden has made, and Rio also knows that Aiden is smart, that he's doing this for him, and that only makes Rio fall even more in love with him.
"Can I at least sit here with you for a little while longer?" Rio asks, placing his hand over Aiden's on his cheek.
Aiden nods his head.
They sit there in silence for a long while, just looking at each other, and when it's finally time for Rio to go, he stands and leans over, pressing a soft, patting kiss to Aiden's lips.
"I'll always love you." Aiden says.
"I'll always love you, too." Rio says, tears streaming down his cheeks as he turns to leave.
"Make me proud." Is the last thing he hears Aiden say to him before he walks out, closing the curtain behind him.
•••
Rio cries the whole way home. Loud, wracking sobs that drain him of energy. When he finally parks his car in his parking garage, he's all cried out, and he gets out of the car and goes inside.
Daphne stands up when she sees him.
"What's wrong with you?" Daphne asks.
"You got what you wanted." Rio says. "Aiden and I are broken up."
"I didn't particularly want it, but I knew it was best." Daphne says.
"And I'm about to do what I want." Rio says. "What I know is best."
"And what might that be?" Daphne asks.
"You're fired." Rio says, feeling himself slowly gaining control and his power back. "You're fired. You can pack your stuff, and get out of my house and out of my life. I don't need your negativity anymore, I don't need your controlling tendencies anymore. I'm done with you, mom."
"What?" Daphne asks incredulously.
"You heard me." Rio says. "Get the hell out of my house and out of my life!"
Daphne stares at him for a long time, and when she sees he's serious she chuckles. "You're going to regret this."
"Over my dead body." Rio says.
Daphne stares at hum, unblinking for a moment, and then she turns and walks to her bedroom.
Rio sits down on the couch, running a hand through his hair and taking a deep breath.
Today is the first day of the rest of his life.
•••
"We have special guest, Rio, here with us today." Helen says, gesturing to Rio sitting next to her. The studio audience claps for him as one of the cameras pan over to him.
He waves to them with a smile.
It's been a week since he and Aiden broke up, and now he's finally ready to do his first televised interview as an independent artist.
"It's great to be here, Helen." Rio says.
"Now, usually we do pretty light-hearted, funny stuff on this show. But today you want to talk about some pretty heavy stuff." Helen says.
Rio nods. "Yes. As many of you have probably heard, I decided to leave my record label only a couple of weeks before the release of my debut album."
"Yes, and I think I speak for everyone when I say we were shocked." Helen says. "Can I ask why you did it?"
"It didn't feel right. It was the real, authentic Rio, and that's what I want to give my fans." Rio replies, "the label and my mother, who used to be my manager, was always putting pressure on me, trying to make me something that I wasn't, and I didn't like that. It became so much, too much, and that's how I ended up on the balcony that night."
"So, the balcony was a suicide attempt?" Helen asks.
"Yes. It was." Rio replies. "It was that and a cry for help, and the only person who listened to me was the one who saved me."
"Hero Cop?" Helen asks.
Rio nods his head. "Yeah, Aiden Sawyer."
Just then, a picture of the two of them flashes behind them on screen, and Rio can feel himself getting emotional, but he pulls it together.
"There's also this picture that surfaced of you after you were found in Mexico together." Helen says, pointing to the screen, and this time it's a picture of Rio in the robe, blocking his face with his left hand, and gleaming in the picture is his wedding band. "What do you have to say about that?"
"Aiden and I were briefly married, yes." Rio says, "But we both are going different directions in our lives, and we knew that if we stayed together we would only hold each other back from what we could truly be."
"I think that's a beautiful way to end a relationship."
Helen says, and the audiences applauds. "Now, I want to ask you, because you did admit to being suicidal, how are you?"
Rio smiles. "I'm good, I'm much better now. I've found myself, my true authentic self, and I'm happy. I'm finally happy with my life, and for the first time I have control of my career. Everything is looking up, and I have the love of my life Aiden to thank for that."
•••
In a hotel room, Aiden sits up in bed, eating chunks of ice and watching Rio on the television on the wall. A proud smile is on his lips.
"Well, I'm sure wherever Aiden is, he's proud of you." Helen says. "We'll be right back with Rio after this commercial break."
Rio's smiling face slowly fades away and a commercial for denture cleanser comes on.
"You did the right thing, son." James, who sits next to Aiden's bed reading a book says. "They always day, 'if you love something let it go.' Who knows? Maybe you and Rio will find your way back to each other again."
"I don't know, dad." Aiden replies. "If I never walk again, then what's the point? I'll just hold him back, and I won't be able to live with myself if I do that."
James reaches over and pats his arm, offering him a small. Aiden smiles back. Even if he never saw Rio again, he was proud of him, he was doing exactly what he needed to be doing—and that's all that matters.
•••
One Year Later
Dallas, Texas, 2018
Rio sits back stage, staring at his reflection in the mirror, his leg bobbing nervously as he takes a few calming breaths. It was his first performance since the release of his debut album, and he had never felt more nervous in his entire life.
"How's my superstar feeling?" A voice calls behind him as she walks into his dressing room.
Rio looks over his shoulder in the mirror and sees Ebony walking up to him, placing her hands on his shoulders. She had reconnected with him after watching his interview on Helen, and the two had been inseparable since. She had even taken over as his head stylist.
"Nervous." He admits. "I don't want to screw this up. I feel like it's my last chance."
"You've got this, Rio." Ebony says. "I believe in you, and you got the whole world standing behind you. Remember that."
Rio nods his head, taking a deep breath.
"Daphne called." Ebony says. "She wants to apologize to you."
"I'm not ready for that yet." Rio says.
"You've got to do it some time or you'll never be ready." Ebony says. "She sounds sincere about it, Rio."
"I'm afraid of what might happen if I let her back into my life." Rio admits.
"You just have to be ready. Don't let her in all at once, you gotta let her ease herself back in there, and let her know that she has no pull when it comes to your career." Ebony says.
Rio nods. "I'll call her when I get off stage."
There's a knock on the door. A PA pops their head in. "Rio, they're ready for you."
Rio nods his head, standing up from the chair, and patting his pocket. The rings are still there. He's carried them everywhere with him, it feels like having a piece of Aiden there with him. It's gotten him through this year.
Ebony leads him out of the dressing room and down a hall, as soon as he gets to the stairs he hears an oh-so-familiar voice behind him.
"The first time I met you, you weren't yourself." It says.
Rio turns around, trying to see where it's coming from, but there's no one in sight.
"In fact," the voice continues, "you said 'Fuck you. I can open my own damn door.' Those were the first words you said to me. I thought you were just another asshole celebrity, until that balcony, until I was literally holding your life in the palm of my hand, and I knew in that moment that you were just lost, broken. I wanted to find you. I wanted to fix you. I didn't plan to fall in love with you, but I did, and I'm so glad that I did."
Rio gasps when he sees Aiden walk around the corner of the hallway, actually walking, holding a piece of paper in his hand, a yellow sheet from a legal pad, that looks like it's been folded and unfolded and read over and over again to where it's almost falling apart. He's a little slow, an extra shuffle in a step and a slight limp, but he's walking.
"When I was finding you, when I was fixing you, you were doing the same thing to me. You restored joy in me, you made me feel like I had a purpose in life, and you encouraged me to follow my dreams." Aiden says, walking slowly towards Rio. "I'm so lucky to know you, Rio. So lucky to have fallen in love with you. I wouldn't trade the memories we have made for the world. You make me the happiest man in the world."
"Aiden," Rio breathes, tears falling from his eyes as he stares at him, trying to make sure that he's real.
"I love you." Aiden says softly.
"Rio, you need to be on stage like thirty seconds ago." The PA says, grabbing his arm and passing him a microphone.
Rio is dumbfounded, looking back over his shoulder at Aiden standing there as he's pushed out on to the stage.
The crowd cheers when they see him, and Rio looks over to the side, and sees Ebony and Aiden standing there side by side, smiling at him.
Rio's heart soars in his chest as the song begins.
"As I dive in without my wings the speed of light I'm flying to my end," Rio starts to sing as the crowd cheers for him. "As I fall without my wings, How's the last song the black bird will sing. I'm free at last, free from you, free from the past, freedom at last."
Rio steals another glance over at Aiden, who smiles widely at him.
"What is life, other than a cage to me. I'm free at last, free from you, free from the last. Freedom at last. What is lit other than a cage to me? Blackbird, oh blackbird. Blackbird, oh blackbird." Rio continues to sing.
The sun breaks through the clouds, dousing the entire area in warmth and light, as Rio starts to finish the song.
"Blackbird, sing one last song for me. Yeah blackbird. Oh blackbird. Sing one last song for me." Rio finishes and the crowd erupts into cheers and screams.
Rio smiles as he takes a bow, and then he turns to look at Aiden again, who's clapping for him.
"Aiden," Rio says in to the microphone, extending his other hand out towards him. "Come join me."
Aiden gives him a look, but after a slight shove from Ebony, he limps out onto the stage.
Rio can feel hot tears burning his eyes again as Aiden approaches him. The crowd cheers as he walks up to Rio.
"I love you, too." Rio says into the microphone. "Forever and always. I love you."
Aiden smiles and wraps Rio into his arms, and Rio hugs him back, and he finally feels like he's home—both of them finally feel like they're home.
"How are you walking right now?" Rio says into his ear over the roar of the crowd.
"A year of tough physical therapy, and reading those vows I wrote a little over a year ago. The night we got back to LA." Aiden says. "Plus keeping up with your career. You motivated me, I wanted you back Rio, but I didn't want to hold you back. Now, I'm not going to."
Rio pulls away to look at him and smiles.
"You still have those rings?" Aiden asks.
Rio fishes them out of his pocket, handing them over.
Aiden takes the microphone. "I can't get down on one knee, I wouldn't be able to get back up,"
Rio looks at him.
"But I want to do this the right way, in front of all of these witnesses." Aiden says, taking his mother's ring and holding it out to Rio. "I want you by my side, I want to be by your side, from this day and forevermore. I love you, Rio, I've never loved anyone as much as I love you."
Rio can feel tears springing back to his eyes, he's been doing a lot of crying.
"Will you marry me?" Aiden asks, and adding with a chuckle, "Again."
The crowd erupts into applause and cheers, screaming for Rio to say yes.
Rio nods his head, unable to find the words to say anything as Aiden slides the ring back on his finger. Aiden pulls his close, kissing him passionately on the lips, and Rio wraps his arms around his neck as the crowd continues to cheer.
They pull away from each other with laughter as they look out at the crowd, and just beyond that, they can see their future, and it's a bright future indeed.
In that moment, Rio was eternally grateful that Aiden was able to see his true self, and that he was able to look beyond the fame, beyond the money, and most importantly —
— beyond the lights.