I held my head in my hand close as the pounding of my head worsened from the lack of sleep last night. My nice couple days off of school had ended and I was expected to go to school in a few hours. I was still in my pajamas, sitting in my bed with my body leaning against the wall. My room spoke volume now since I took the time to decorate it yesterday instead of going out again. The long mirror was now on my closet door, I had some posters and strings with photos lined my walls above my bed and desk. Not to mention, my desk was now littered with different things. I had a lot of hobbies because of the whole, isolated from the world thing. I had boxes of legos and those weird magnet put together shit. My desk drawers were scattered with just tons of art shit my parents had bought me to help me keep distracted but I don't even use half the stuff in there. I also had clay and sculpting kits but alas, the story follows the art supplies as well. I had other bedroom needed things like drawers and also had somehow trashed my room with clothes and dirty plates and mugs. The only thing I hadn't set up yet was my tv and gaming systems.
I tried to but all the expensive things and wires were freaking me out and I didn't want to screw up and just mess up all my electronics.
To say the least, my room felt more presentable.
After taking a good gaze around my room, the headache subsided and I was back to Earth. My room was still dark and I didn't plan to open the blinds anytime soon fearing that the sudden brightness would end up giving me another headache. I wasn't planning to feel even more miserable than I plan to for my first day of school.
After debating, I got out of bed and it dressed in something tidy. Some shirt and flannel with pants seemed like the agenda today. Peering at the mirror as I slipped on some All-Stars, I still felt a little sloppy-looking. I grunted as I tried to button up the flannel seeing if it'd look better but ended up looking worse as the buttons didn't align so I undid them again.
I didn't dare to brush my hair again, (I brushed it yesterday after a shower anyway) so I slicked back my bangs, popped a couple pins, and decided to just push the rest of my hair in a hair tie. Presentable, I guess.
I opened the closet once more and reached into the back for the bookbag. I made sure that everything was present; I had my notebook and pencils with pens, burner phone, favorite books, harbucks gift cards, and some gum packs. Perfect.
I threw some Bobby pins in just in case and threw the strap over my shoulder.
My mother and father still had their jobs in Denver so it was no surprise to see them gone already. Luckily, the coffee maker was up and ready to go for a new brew so I went ahead and made some for my thermos.
I checked to make sure I had everything as I walked to the front door and throw on a jacket. Of course, since I was wearing a flannel too the fucking sleeves rolled up and it bugged me. I was fixing them until I stopped in my steps as I stared at my wrist.
"W-west.." I had mumbled it not knowing but it was about to trigger the thoughts of the night two days ago. My thoughts went directly to the foundation and then back to Kenny. I felt my breath go short as the thoughts raked up my skin. 'Does he go to this school? Will I see him again? What if he's lost interest in me. What if he really doesn't want to be my friend.' I try to shake the thoughts away as I ran back to my room to grab the foundation. It took a couple layers before I finally was able to cover the cursive west up but even then I hadn't noticed till now how different the color was to my actual skin. It was a lot darker. Again, I just try and forget about it and push my sleeve back down. I'll only be showing it once, it shouldn't be much of a problem.
Finally, I was out of the house and was heading towards the school. I tried to not drink up all of the coffee so I could have it for at least half of the school day. The neighborhood was surprisingly very quiet at this hour but I could tell that I was close to the school once I saw crowds.
I set my gaze to the ground at this point trying to avoid any contact, I mean it's not the most common thing to have a new kid around your school so I guess I understand why some crowds would whisper, snicker and awe. I wasn't too fond of this attention though and made me uncomfortable if anything. Those violent shakes were coming back and I was gripping to the strap of my bookbag like no other.
I was luckily saved when I got to the school from a familiar face pouncing to my side in a side tackle. Of course, it's didn't help me in my current condition by it made me feel a bit better knowing I didn't have to walk these halls alone.
"Hey, t-t-twe-eeek~"
"Hi, erm, Kenn--ny."
He snickers knowing that I let in from his mockery. "So, the first day of schooling here. You excited to see your new group?"
Shit. I forgot that he told me about that. I almost feel as though its fake or maybe I'm just in a state of Cloud Nine that everything feels too good to be true.
"Y-yeah. I can't believe I finally f-found my group.." I thought for a moment as I question who possibly had the silhouetted doves like mine till suspicion crept on me. I remembered the night under the bridge with him, had he ever shown his own marking?
I must have been staring at his wrist as he stifled a laugh and replied something along the lines, "I'll explain later" in a murmur.
He nods with still a smile and then pulls up his hood from his jacket and making his way down the hall. My ticks were coming back from the anxiety, this was a bit nerve-wracking.
I followed him since I had nowhere else to go and wandering off by myself will most likely make me end up in a panic and eyes all over me. I was just nervous, nervous of meeting other doves, bumping into blue chullo, and the crowds of hallways. I tried my best to stay behind Kenny, my hands now together and popping my knuckles out of habit. I kept my head low and bit my cheek trying to hold in any small squeaks. I didn't want to grab any attention. It felt so different walking the halls of a school with someone.
At the moment, I caught a glimpse of Kenny peering behind him looking at me, probably to make sure I was still following him. "You need to hold onto my hand or some shit? You're shaking like a leaf there."
"Ngh, n-o I'm- I'm f-fine."
I took a deep breath in and out and looked up trying to look more manly. Although, I felt that it may have been a mistake as I crumbled a bit from seeing the same crowds of girls from the harbucks. They didn't notice me at first but then the Blonde chick looked up and looked my way.
I swiftly looked away and try to keep my cool but I had an urge to look back and lo and behold she was still gazing. She gave a small wave with a weak smile before going back to her conversation with her friends. I wasn't sure what to do so I just sheepishly smiled and coward back to Kenny's side.
"Who is the group.. over there?"
He hummed a 'hm' before looking behind at the group where the blonde girl stood with till a light bulb went off. "Oh, the rosy perfume chicks? Yeah, they're like the popular slutty group I guess you can say. Every group here knows them mostly because they're always checking every guy out. They all have boyfriends and if they don't, well they probably will get one pretty soon." He whistled a tune before continuing his small introduction to the 'Rosy perfume chicks.' "Even went out with one of them till the "magic ended," if you know what I mean." I shook my head not fully grasping what he's trying to conduct. "You know the whole, connected bond shit?" He stopped in his tracks looking at me with complete disbelief when I still shook my head no.
"Heh, you've never fallen in love? Found that perfect someone? How you're eyes just glow up after staring into that person's eyes for a good while. Wow, that sucks dude. everyone has experienced that here in this school already in some way. "
My brows furrow as I feel a bit empty inside. I've looked at someone before and feel good, I've fallen in love. This guy's just saying bullshit.
"I've fallen in love!"
"No. You haven't. You haven't truly felt love, just yet."
"W-well. How do you fall in love??!"
He chuckles and shakes his head. "Maybe you'll learn it someday. Someone will teach you, it's not my responsibility."
"That's unfair.."
He rolls his eyes and continues walking again. "Trust me, stut, I've already given this lecture to a ton of people."
I sigh and tense up my shoulders, keeping my head down again. I kept following Kenny in somewhat silence, as my ticks were still going off, till we stopped in front of an empty classroom.
Kenny abruptly swings the door open and steps in giving me some space to peering around the corner to look in. "Well, this is it."
I take a moment to take in the surrounding people. In the room were four people, two that stood out were yelling at each other from across the room. There was a red-head who was screaming and dodging spiraling objects from this other rounded guy with a cyan puff-ball beanie. Another guy with a blue beanie was leaning on a desk chair yelling at them to stop fighting and breaking shit. The last person in the room was over at the window peering around, they peered behind the mat the fighting a couple times but didn't seem to want to be apart of it. He had a scar down his eye and blond hair like me but more well kept. Kenny stepped in and yelled out "I'm heree~" before forcing a hug with the cyan hat guy which he replied with a push and yelling out something like "Don't be a fucking faggot Kenny, I ain't touching you with a ten-foot pole with that matter. You probably have fucking AIDS or some shit-" The guy kept on hurling insults but Kenny just kept on laughing.
I sink back staying outside for a second, was this really my group? I started popping my knuckles and shutting my eyes, I wasn't sure if I even fit in this group.
"Hey, Stut, get in here!" Kenny slings himself out the door and instantaneously scares the living shit out of me.
"Gah, f-fuck why'd you scare me!"
"The group wants to meet you. That's why I brought you here."
I grumbled and furrowed my brows, I couldn't just back out right here. I finally found the doves, I found where I belong. "Mm.. okay." I held tight to my arm as I walked in and almost at the same time all four of those kids were together talking till I showed; then they all were staring my way.
Kenny stepped to my side and patted my shoulder and firmly gripped it leaving me to tense up and mutter out squeaks. "Guys, meet Tweek. Tweek, meet the gang. Kyle, Stan, Butters, Cartman, and moi" he said pointing at each person.
...
"Well, show em' your hand stut." I blinked a couple times before obliging and rolled up my sleeves to show the four doves and the cursive west, which was a bit visible from the makeup rubbing off.
"Oh sweet dude, I've never seen that one!" Kyle said coming closer to analyze my wrist. It caught me by surprise and I yank my hand back to my side, "w-what do you mean? D-don't you have th-the same?" The fat kid began laughing obnoxiously as I became more confused. "Are you seriously that dumb?! No! We all have different fucking symbols idiot, we're called the un-" Right then and there Kenny pulled down the guy's hat over his face and shove him out of the group circle.
"He doesn't need to know that yet asshat." My brows furrow and I could feel my muscles tense. I should have known better. "S-so none of you have the same m--mark.."
(Kyle) "Great, now you made the kid cry, fatass."
Am I crying?
(Eric) "Shut up Kyle! isn't my problem that he's a retarded crybaby!"
I am stupid, aren't I?
(Ken) "Cartman stop, this isn't how I wanted this to go."
He's not really my friend, is he?
(Stan) "Then you should not have brought him, Kenny. Kyle and I told you after Butters, no one else! No more! Now Cartman made this kid confused and probably going to tattle tell on our club and have us separated or something."
"I-I have t-t-to go."
I can't stand being here anymore.
"Wait, tweek!" I could hear Kenny calling out but I continued to ignore it. I should have known that I just wasn't meant to have friends.
I skipped the first period, It didn't matter anyway. I sat at the back of the school sniffling my tears away. It was damn cold and depressing back here and I felt like a teen girl who just got dumped for the first time. I tucked my head under my arms and just left myself to my thoughts. It wasn't too soon that I heard the crunching of snow, of someone walking close. At first, I thought it would be Kenny but to my surprise, I saw three people in the way distances. The blue chullo and his friends. I froze in fear as they walked around the yard, but seemed to have not yet noticed me.
Yet again I hear footsteps but it was odd, these footsteps are a lot closer to someone else was obviously here and I knew who. I look to the side and there he was, Kenny, staring down at me with hood up and hands in pockets. "You mind if I join?"
I stood quietly for a while before shrugging and looking back towards the yard. "What you thinking about over there?" I didn't say much other than a glance his way and we sat in silence before he spoke up for the third try. "So, you've met the bow gang." I look at him a bit more intrigued. "Heh, there we go, caught your attention now."
"What's the bow gang?" Kenny raised a brow before smirking my way. "Well, let's sum it up this way. Every school has there cliques, right? Well, the bow gang is quite like the rose perfume girls. They're the popular guys slash hotties of the school. They have a lot of other cliques too of course; the nerds, goths, class clowns, stoners, etc."
I looked at him once more in a way that showed that something was missing and he knew exactly what I was to ask next and was preparing himself. "Then what clique are you in— I mean that we're in?"
"Well, I'm not really sure if would call us a legal group. Most call us The Unfortunate, the ones who just didn't click, but I see us as more. I see us as a rebellion group."
It made sense, The Unfortunates, maybe I was made to be here. I looked back up towards the bow gang and sighed. "What else do you know? About t-them?" Kenny slumped back against the wall and stared up at the sky. "Well, I know Their names. The letterman is Clyde, the black guy is Token, and blue jacket is Craig. I think there are a couple more dudes in there but not sure. Mostly know about the perfume girls if I had to admit..."
At that point, I dazed out from the conversation as I focused on the name Craig. So, blue chullo's name is Craig. Huh.
I wasn't listening to Kenny at all anymore after a mention of "look in their eyes" because of how focus I became, it took a nudge from my buddy beside me to knock me out of my trance.
"Did you hear any of that?" I shook my head no. "What'd you s--say?" He just smirked and got up. "Heh, it's nothing."
"No, seriously. What'd y-you say?" I stood up frantically looking for an answer. "Like I said," he rested a hand on my shoulder, "its nothing. Now come on we got 2nd period together." He pushed me into a teasingly tone and walked away. I took the time to get one last look at the bow gang and oddly enough found myself in a small eye-lock with the letterman, Clyde. The guy didn't take long took look back his own way and saying something to the other two. Afterwards, Token seemed to smack Clyde lightly on the head whereas Craig was shaking his head.
I grunted in so much confusion and turned myself to jog back to Kenny's side.
Period 2, finally to be apart of a class where im not alone. I'm not alone anymore.
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