Near to You
16
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Well the sun has set on this quiet town where our heart first met. I won't say goodbye.
Missing You - Letters & Lights
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It was good to be home. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed the place until I was back, and in my own bed, surrounded by my own things and all the people I had grown up with. No matter how far I went, this place would always be home to me.
In the distance I could see the faint glow of the downtown city lights. Our suburb was surprisingly quiet for New Year’s Eve. Usually the place was bustling with a neighbourhood party which my mother would always drag me to because she needed to make her 'rounds' with the others, and show her face.
This year, however, a thick blanket of snow had stopped the usual fesitivities and we were all cooped up in our own houses, celebrating with close friends and family instead. Savannah was the only one of the girls who had been able to make it. June had already promised her boyfriend Josh to go see the fireworks, and Caroline was stuck in her own home because her family had come all the way from Quebec to be there.
In the background when she had called to cancel, all I heard was the sound of deep, throaty French, and while I felt for her, I still found it slightly amusing that over half her family lived in Montreal yet she was barely able to speak a word of French herself.
It would only be two days, or more so a little over one day, until we were all in London, however, and I was very excited. I wished that my mother could come to the premiere, but she had recently switched jobs and wasn't able to get enough time off so soon. I would have support from my three closest friends, however, and that was all I needed.
The past week and a half had been amazing. I had done all the things I normally would have had I still lived there, but it felt so foreign and almost as if it were a tradition I had long forgotten. I took a sip of my hot chocolate, pulling my electric blanket closer around my sock-clad feet as I glanced across to Savannah who was watching the fire pensively.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked. Her blue eyes flashed in my direction and I smiled. I had really missed seeing her, more than anything. While we talked all the time on the phone, or online, it wasn't the same as speaking face to face. Her little nuances were something that couldn't be replicated, even on camera.
"Just life in general," she sighed, resting her head on her long legs, her blonde hair falling out of its messy bun on the top of her head. "I have no idea where I'm going."
"You're young." I laughed. "We both are. We don't have to figure those things out for at least another five years yet."
"But you've already figured everything out." She rose a little, picking up her mug of tea which must have been luke warm at best. "You've got a career, a very successful one. I'm not even sure what I want to do yet."
"I thought you wanted to study psychology?" For a few months now she had been informing me of all the great programs offered at the universities nearby and she had sounded very excited.
"That's what my mother wants me to do." She shook her head. "I...I don't know what I want to do yet."
"What about photography?" I pointed out. "You were the yearbook photographer in High School, and you loved that."
I thought back to the moment I watched her beg her father to buy her an expensive DSLR camera as an early birthday gift the moment the opportunity arose for her to take yearbook pictures. In our senior year you could never find her without her camera, it practically became her second limb.
"I haven't picked up a camera in years," Savannah denied. "I'm not even sure I know how to take proper pictures anymore. I wasn't very good anyway."
"You were amazing," I insisted. "And I'm not just saying this as your best friend. I mean it."
I knew that she was still slightly doubtful so I decided to make her an offer she wouldn't refuse.
"How about this," I started. "You take a picture of me, one of those 'meet the author' ones where I'm smiling all cheerily. I'll show it to Jules, and not tell her it was you. If she likes it, then you'll know you've got talent."
"Jules is kind of picky," Savannah conceded.
"Kind of?" I chuckled. "Try monumentally."
"Fine."
I felt overjoyed. I ran up to my room quickly, searching for my camera which I had gotten soon after Savannah. She had helped me pick it out herself so I knew that it was at least of a fairly decent quality.
Once I found it hidden in one of my drawers I came back down, passing it to her. In no time she had it on and was cruising through the settings like a pro. I honestly couldn't believe she didn't realize how much of a natural she was.
She cocked the lens my way and captured an image before I could even prepare myself.
“What was that about?”
“The best photos are always the natural ones,” she told me, passing the camera my way. “See?”
I accepted the camera from her and once I saw the photo, I knew what she meant. Although I was looking slightly away from the camera, I had a genuine smile on my face. The light cast a shadow across my face and my hair hung loose around my shoulders covered in my bright red sweater. It was an amazing picture, and I definitely wanted it to be the one everyone saw when they bought my books.
“I love it.”
She smiled and took the camera back from me, taking a few pictures this time of the surrounding houses and the snow. I knew she would be occupied for a while now, so when my phone rang I did not hesitate to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Michelle?”
“This is she.” I grinned, knowing exactly who it was. “What are you doing calling me, Zayn? It’s almost midnight there, isn’t it?”
I glanced toward the phone on my clock, realizing that it was indeed nearing seven o’clock. The time difference had been troublesome the first few days, but by now my body had adjusted. I could only imagine what it would be like after I returned.
“I just wanted to see how you were.” There was a lot of noise behind him. It sounded as if he were at a party, but if that was the case, then why was he on the phone with me? He should have been finding a girl to pucker up to. Being Zayn Malik, finding one would hardly be a problem. I, of course, didn’t want that to happen, but I knew better than to think otherwise.
“I’m fine.” I ducked inside the quiet living room for a moment. My mother had gone across the street to borrow some flutes for our champagne and had yet to return. With Savannah outside I had complete privacy.
“Are you busy?” he questioned. “I don’t want to be interrupting anything.”
“No, I’m not.” I glanced back at Savannah who had yet to realize I had gone inside. “Savannah’s over, we’re going to bring in the New Year with my mother.”
“Classy,” he joked. Over the past few days we had called each other a bit, even on Christmas day itself, and once again it caused me to question everything. I would definitely demand an answer once I returned, I decided. Good or bad, at least I would know where we stood.
“Very,” I agreed. “Not as lush as the party you’re at, I’m sure.”
“It’s sort of boring, to be honest.” He sighed. The noise cut off suddenly, and I knew he had gone somewhere quieter, maybe outside. “If you were here then we could make fun of everyone who’s pissed.”
“As enticing as that sounds,” I giggled. “I think I prefer my low key plans.”
“Low key sounds lovely,” he murmured. We fell silent for a few moments but I knew he was still there because I could hear his breathing on the other end of the line. Chanting began. Ten, nine, eight, seven. He would be in a New Year before me, and I wondered if it was symbolic, that he was leaving me in the past somehow.
“Go find a girl right now,” I demanded. “We can’t have you not ring it in the proper way.”
“I don’t think I want to.”
Three, two, one.
“Happy New Year,” he told me.
“Happy New Year,” I murmured in response. “You wasted the perfect opportunity.”
“I’d much rather be speaking with you, Michelle.”
I swore that for a moment I forgot how to breathe. He had a way with words that could still my entire system in an instant.