Chapter TWENTY SEVEN
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He still had my face between his hands as his cool breath blew across my already sensitive lips. I couldn't open my eyes to look at him, If I saw him I'd want to kiss him even more than I do right now.
"I'm sorry." Colin whispered, "I didn't realize how much it would hurt you." He winced slightly before removing his hands.
Groaning internally I opened my eyes to find him a few paces back, staring at me with sad eyes. "Colin." I whispered, my voice breaking. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He shook his head, "You need to protect your heart and I need to protect mine."
"What are you saying?" I asked him, my tears starting up again.
"I think.." He let out a reluctant breath before speaking. "That maybe some time apart would...do us some good."
My heart clenched painfully in chest and the tears seemed never ending as he became a blur in front of me. "Right." I blinked rapidly before focusing on his face that was twisted up in pain. I knew why he was doing it, he was protecting me. Protecting me from the hurt I was going to feel once he turned eighteen.
I turned on my heel and ran out of the rink. As I pushed doors open on my way out I could see Colin standing halfway in wanting to chase after me but he didn't. His face just as heartbroken as I felt. It felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and I was leaving a piece of me behind.
It was late as I walked home and I was cold. I wanted nothing more than to not go home, to get lost in the woods and arrive at a new place. A place where I wasn't in pain and it didn't hurt so much. A place much, much better than this.
No lights were on when I came home and I quickly made my way upstairs. I wanted to cry my eyes out and I didn't need the questions from my family.
My mother was the one to knock on my door the next morning but I locked it and refused to come out. My tears only welled at the thought of pushing everyone and everything away.
"Please, Kat." My mother pleaded around mid afternoon after I still hadn't emerged from my room. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing." I mumbled but she heard.
"It's not nothing if you're hold up in your room." She told me, "You sound like you've been crying."
"I'm not." I sniffled sadly, my eyes dried out at this point.
"Come on Kat. Open the door." Her plea was desperate and I ignored her.
Tommy was the next person to try, "Kat? Are you okay?" He asked and I didn't respond. "What happened last night? Colin isn't answering anybody either."
A jolt rang around my body as he said his name and I shuddered, my chest feeling hollow. New tears seemed to spring out of nowhere as a new wave of pain hit me.
Hannah and my Dad tried while Tommy and my Mom repeatedly tried throughout the day and into the night.
"Kit Kat." Chris' soft voice spoke from the other side of the door and I froze at the dead way he spoke.
Chris was the one person who could understand me, the one person who felt worse than I did. He knew his mate, and she still didn't want to be together. That was pain I knew nothing about. I was just in love with some guy that I could never have.
I slinked out of bed and unlocked the door, opening just far enough that he could come in before I locked the door again. Heaven knows my mother would try to come in even more now that I'd let Chris in.
He took a seat on my bed and I crawled under the covers and covered my face in the pillow as I waited for him to say or not say whatever he wanted.
Silence enveloped around us and I sat up quickly, throwing my arms around his shoulders as I brought him to my chest. He let out a breath and returned the hug as he held me tightly to him.
"I was so worried about you." He whispered.
Shaking my head I snuggled into his arms. I wanted him to protect me from the world just like he's done since I was born. He was my amazing and protective big brother, he's been my number since day one.
"Don't be. I'm...fine." I choked on the last word, "You shouldn't worry about me."
His laugh was forced as he forced me away from him so he could look me in the eyes. "I will worry about you until the end of time, it's kind of my job as your brother."
"I love you Chris." I told him and he nodded.
"I love you Kat." He kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes. "It will all be okay, trust me."
Giving him a nod I agreed, "I trust you the most."
He smiled and grabbed my shoulders in for another hug.
Chris stayed with me through the night and I was grateful for that. He didn't seem to need to fill the silence with talking, we just sat together. My brother was one of the greatest people on the planet. I wish there was something I could do to help him but I could barely figure out my own stuff.
It sucks that Lucy wasn't going to be with him all because I was a human. All because I was a mutant mistake. I knew that I caused problems in our other pack because of how I was human but my siblings never told me about it or brought it up.
They stood up for me and never let me feel the hurt or the shame of being different. I felt that all on my own, over time I saw how people looked at me, I noticed the way Chris' eyes tightened when we attended pack functions.
As the sun rose I changed and made myself semi presentable before I snuck out of the room and tiptoed down the stairs, pulling a jacket on as I quietly opened the front door. I didn't want to be found out and be questioned like no tomorrow.
I didn't know exactly where I was going but I headed down the street with my hands in my pockets. The cool morning breeze seemed to refresh me, allowing me to breath and think clearly as my mind set on what I was doing.
Shivering slightly I continued to walk until I was on the edge of the small town, the sign in the front of the house telling me I had the right one. I took a deep breath and walked up the driveway, the gravel crunching under my shoes.
Taking another deep breath I knocked on the door. I waited half a second before it opened to a tall brunette with a heart shaped face. She had long hair that cascaded down her back in thick curls and her grey eyes were narrowed as she looked me up and down.
"Can I help you?" She asked with annoyance.
"Yeah, actually I was looking for Lucy." I whispered all the confidence I had was gone at her icy look.
She crossed her arms in front of her small frame and rose her eyebrows, "I'm Lucy and you are?"
"Katrina," I told her and she froze before I could tell her my last name.
"Chris' sister." She winced when she said his name and pain flickered across her face before she could hide it. She was hurting too. So this whole thing still had hope.
"Yes." I nodded, "Can I talk to you..?" I started and she shook her head.
"I shouldn't talk to you. Chris doesn't want me too." The sadness in her voice reminded me of my brother's own sadness.
"Please, I just want him to be happy. He's not happy right now and I think he could be if you just-."
"He made his choice." She growled anger flashing in her eyes.
"I know he did but he chose wrong." I sighed. "I love my brother to pieces but I'm leaving in a few weeks and after a year I'll be gone." I told her and continued quickly so I could get it all out, "I'll only have to see you at holidays and special occasions, I promise not to be around that much if you don't want me too."
Her shoulders relaxed and I saw tears cloud her eyes as she looked at me. "Please, he deserves the best and if you're his mate, you're the best." I pleaded. "I don't want to stand in my brother's way for happiness, it hurts him to have a sister like me. I know it does but don't judge him because of the fact I'm human. He's... the best."
"Kat." She sighed with the shake of her head and my heart seem to break for my brother all over again. "Chris is the best. I don't want to hurt him, I'll admit that I was furious when he chose you over me but hearing the love that you have for him and the devotion he has for you in his action is heartwarming."
"I wanted to go back on the options as soon as I said them, I never meant to hurt him this bad." She cried, "I tried to tell him, I did, but he loves you Kat. His eyes light up when he talks about you, every amazing thing you've ever done is all he talks about. It bothered me at first but I've come to realize that I wouldn't want to be with a man that picked me over his family."
"So you'll talk to Chris?" I asked, hopeful.
She shook her head, "He doesn't want to talk to me."
"Of course he does." I nearly shrieked. "He's miserable without you. I promise to keep my word with only seeing you a few times a year."
"Don't." She shook head and gave me a small smile, "I've been too harsh on you. I didn't know that you were this great of a person. I'm sorry."
"I'm anything but great." I told her and felt my cheeks warm.
"I hope I'm half as good as you in life. The level of love your family has is next level." She smiled so I could see a dimple on her left cheek, "None of my sisters have attempted at making contact with Chris, even though I've been moping around for months."
"I tried to get him to come around sooner but he's stubborn." I sighed, "He miss you. A lot."
She flushed this time and I couldn't miss the smile that seemed to light up her face before it dropped, "Do you think he'll really take me back? I'm mean and nasty, honestly I wouldn't. I'd hate me forever, hell I already do."
"I got it." I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "Come around, around mid day?"
Lucy nodded and I started my walk back home. I took a detour through town and watched as the streets slowly filled up with people. It was eleven when I decided to head on home, which I should have done sooner or at least told someone where I was.
When I got to my street I could see the police lights in front of my house half a block down. I groaned and guilt gripped me as I saw my family on the front lawn. As I walked closer I heard my mother's hysterical screams of pain and I quickened my pace to the house.
"Kat?" She asked as if not believing her eyes, which were filled with tears.
It was half a heartbeat I was standing alone before I was bombarded with hugs. All they could do was shout questions at me and I couldn't answer them as a buzz filled my head. "Kat? Are you okay?"
"Where were you?"
"Are you hurt?"
"Should we call a doctor?"
I shook my head repeatedly but other than hugging me and check me over nobody paid attention to what I wanted.
"Call the guys to stop the search." Chris told Tommy.
"You called the guys?" I asked and hated the bubbly feeling in my stomach. It'd been two days since the fight with Colin and I missed him.
Chris and Tommy nodded, "Yeah, we needed the help to find you."
Colin was at the edge of the trees in his wolf form and even though I've only ever seen him in it once I knew it was him. The ache to run to him and hug him tightly became almost painful as we stared at each other. The need only increased as he whined loudly before he darted back into the woods.
I took a step closer to where he'd last been but Tommy held my shoulder to keep me in place. "It's okay." He whispered.
Tires squealed to a stop in front of the house and Spencer and a group of his friends hopped out. Spencer had me in his arms within the time it took for everyone else to exit the car. I tried to push away the feeling I had in my stomach but it was hard to get rid of the feeling of being uncomfortable.
Once we broke apart a new car had pulled into the driveway and I could feel Chris stiffen next to me. Lucy had arrived in the middle of the family madness, great.
Chris growled when she walked over to me slowly and I stepped forward to greet her but Chris was suddenly standing in front of me, protective.
"Leave." He growled. "I won't let you hurt her."
Lucy looked down in shame and I pushed my way around Chris. "It's okay Chris. I told her to come over."
"What?" Chris asked, anger flaring. "I told you not to." He began shaking and before anyone could do anything, he shifted. Lucy stepped quickly in front of me, blocking Chris' sharp claws from hurting me and shoved me back gently so I was out of the way from the sheer force of the shift.
Lucy winced in pain as I noticed deep scratches from Chris' claws on her arm and torso, ripping her shirt in the process.
Chris' snarled cut off and I could see his eyes fill with regret and concern as he looked down at his mate who was bleeding because of his anger.
My mother hurried forward and wrapped cloth around Lucy's cuts before hugging her tightly. "Thank you for protecting her." She thanked her and then hugged me even tighter.
Chris whined and ran into the house, only to come back minutes later as his head hung in shame. He stopped in front of the pair of us and reached for Lucy's arm. Lightly he ran his fingers over the cuts that were already healing and I saw his remorse etched on his face.
"I'm sorry." He whispered to her and she shook her head.
"I'm sorry." She told him and he looked at her but in confusion.
"What?" He asked in disbelief.
She never took her eyes from his as she spoke, "I'm sorry. Kat is an amazing person and I should have gotten to know her before I passed judgment. I shouldn't have made you choose between us, I'm awful, I know. I don't expect you to forgive me right away but I'd like to start over."
"My family included?" He asked with skepticism in his voice.
Lucy nodded, "I want to love your family as much as you do."
Chris smiled a brilliant smile and took her face between his hands and kissed her.
Chris and Lucy were inseparable the next few weeks and we all grew closer as a result. She apologised to me constantly and I tried to reassure her that I had no hard feelings, how could I when she made my brother so happy?
Chris' graduation was the day before I left for New York so I was packing when I was called down to get into the car. I sighed and zipped the suitcase while grabbing a jacket before heading downstairs.
Hannah and Tommy were joking with each other when I arrived and my mother was helping my father fix his tie.
"Okay, let's go." My mother ushered us out, her eyes already filling with tears. Tommy grabbed the tissues off the entry table and winked at me as he noticed my stare. I gave him smile in support and followed after him.
We parked in the lot and I blindly followed the flow of people and kept my head down, afraid that after two weeks I'd see him. See him and he'd be happy, that nothing would have changed like it did for me.
Tommy led Hannah and I into the bleachers beside Lucy while my parents went to the parent section. It was like the air shift in the room when they came in, a power shift, letting everyone know that they were the strongest.
It was a subtle change, so subtle that I don't think any other human could have picked up on it. As I've grown up with wolves my whole life I could feel the power they give off, the Alpha's being the strongest gave off more.
He was following after his parents and my heart clenched as I noticed Mackenzie's arm linked with his. Even though he looked bored with his hands in his pockets I couldn't help but feel that he was doing better without me than I was without him.
Halfway through the graduation I felt his stare and I refused to meet his gaze. I refused for him to see how weak I was without him. Chris' name was called and I was one of the people to cheer the loudest for him, right behind Lucy and Tommy.
After the ceremony we had to shove our way through the crowd of people to find our parents and Chris with Tommy leading the way. I tried to keep Lucy in my sights but they moved so fast that that didn't happen.
Panic started to rise in my chest as I was stuck in a sea of people and I started to push people faster as I tried to get through the growing crowd, all looking for their loved ones. I felt a warm hand wrap around mine and I could feel the light tingles run up my arm at the touch. I looked up to see Colin leading me through the crowd and I let him.
Once I could see my family he pulled me to a stop and looked down at me. Up close his eyes looked dead and I could now see that the dark circles under his eyes matched mine. Everything about him looked messy and less put together than normal.
He leaned down and breathed in my hair and I did the same to his chest. "Have fun in New York." He whispered and I shivered at the feeling of utter completeness I felt in that moment.
I felt his lips brush across my skin and my forehead tingled warmly as his lips touched and then he pulled away, walking back through the crowd, leaving me alone with my family.