Being a girlfriend of Samuel is the joy-est thing that could ever happen in my life right now. Even though I seem so ignorant, I made sure that he also knows it. Know that I care. I can't even say the word love yet to him. The way he's being so understanding towards my feelings somehow kills me. He didn't want to rush me. I like him for sure, I am so sure because he made my heart beating so fast while he's around me, especially when he kissed me. I felt like the whole world stopped.
I started with little things such as replying his text as soon as possible, asking about his day, even make a facetime with him, sometimes I sent him food as well, he's so skinny I want him to have a healthy lifestyle. You could ask my ex-boyfriend, Minki. I will never do something like that in the past. Cause I am indeed so ignorant. Not only to my friends, even to my parents. Yet I always remind him to call his parents often. He's right, I should at least try. He's the one who could finally make me trying something like this.
Him being so nice to me somehow makes me feel insecure as well. What kind of man who wants a relationship with a girl like me? That thought always consumes me. I'm scared that someday Samuel demand for something from me, something that probably I could ever give. I'm afraid that he will run out his nice tokens to me. I guess, I always live like this. Too afraid of the future, yet always make a prediction towards it. Now that I kind of depend on him, when he perhaps, run away from me in the future, perhaps I couldn't survive.
Ah love.........it's a very complicated word since the last time I used it for her. Thank God that I could finally share things like this with Tzuyu even more. Tzuyu is now in a relationship with Mingyu Oppa. Finally. After over than a year they were just texting each other, they finally meet and confessed each other out. I could totally see that Tzuyu is crazy about him. I can tell that so many actors, singers, entertainers ask Tzuyu out, but she only fixed her eyes toward Mingyu Oppa.
"Sammy~~~Are you free Sunday Night?"
"Yes, why?"
"Tzuyu invite us to double date"
"Tzuyu got a boyfriend? I'm shocked"
"Yes, recently"
I don't want to give him the name just yet. He will shock. I will get that precious expression the Sunday then.
"Okay, I'm free"
"I'll pick you at 7pm then"
"Okay! See you, my love!"
"See yaaaa!" I reply him.
It had become a habit that I always pick him and drop him off for a date since he doesn't have a driving license yet. I feel fine tho. Tzuyu then texts me.
"Chaeng!, Sunday Night, okay?"
"Okay, I already told Sam, he could come. Don't tell Oppa yet about Sam, okay?"
"Okay! By the way, have you checked this?"
Tzuyu send me a link to an article. I open the URL.
[Kim Samuel on Ideal Type and PRISTIN'S Kyulkyung as his Ideal girlfriend]
"He's so good at keeping a secret, isn't he?" Tzuyu text again.
I read this article. Yes, I do mention to him to not to be specific about his ideal type. But in this article, he mentions completely opposite from me. I laugh bitterly and a little bit mad. This kid, If I meet him on Sunday, he will be a dead meat.
Because of this article, I become a bit cold to him. Do I turn to a crazy girlfriend who's jealous over things like this? No, I am not, I am not jealous a bit. I text him that I am nearby. I already move to passenger seat cause I know he wants to drive. I become quite for a whole ride. I feel a little bit madder moreover after reading netizen's comment over his ideal type. It does bother me, he hasn't said anything about this tho.
We arrive at this restaurant. Sam unbuckle his seatbelt and turn to me.
"Chaengie, are you mad at me? Am I doing something wrong?" He asks out of concern.
"No" I lied.
"No, something must happen. You only give me a short answer, not only for this ride but on our chats as well for the past 24 hours. Why?"
"No, there's nothing going on"
By then I get out from the car. I could see that he's annoyingly frustrated. We arrive first than Tzuyu. We sit at the table that they already reserved.
"Chaeyoungie!" Tzuyu wave at us.
"Oh" Samuel is so shocked as he sees a figure beside Tzuyu
"Hyung!"
"Samuel!" Not only, Samuel, Mingyu Oppa is shocked as well.
"No way! You're Tzuyu Noona boyfriend?"
"You are Cheyoungie's then? HeolDaebak!"
Samuel shook Mingyu Oppa's hand.
"This is a surprise! Why didn't you tell me?" Samuel turn to me.
"Just.......I want to see that shock face today"
Samuel smirking to me. I am still mad at him, but I can't show it to this new couple in front of me. The 4 of us make an order.
"Congratulations Oppa, finally you win her heart!" I said to Mingyu Oppa.
"How long you've been dating?" Samuel asks them.
"2 weeks now? Isn't it?" Tzuyu smile and nod "But, we've been chasing each other for almost 2 years" Mingyu Oppa explain.
"Whoaaaa, Hyung!" Samuel givesMingyu Oppa two thumbs up.
"You two, how love you've been dating each other then?"
I prepared to answer but Samuel cut me off.
"We've been dating for 253 days, 8 months 9 days" He place his arm around me chair.
He remember it perfectly.
"Whoa, Kim Samuel!" Tzuyu seem surpise as well.
"Don't tell other Hyungs about this okay? They are lousy. Jeonghan Hyung would never leave me alone if he knows" Samuel tells Mingyu Oppa.
"Okay, I wont, I promise"
"I can't believe that you're dating already, Sam!" Samuel just smile.
"I know him since 10 years old, Chaeng. Let me tell you, he's so so so cute, yet so snob, He's from the US. Has he always brag about US to you?"
I nod. "Yes that who he is. He always wear a snap back and a big necklace. So disgusting" We all laugh.
"But, I know that he did that cause he missed U.S a lot. Especially he missed his mom. A 10 years old boy, live alone, with other 16 older brothers back then, in a small dorm. He's so great. I admit that I admire him. And he become more mature, he doesn't act like his age. He's the youngest but always considerate to the Hyungs. Get up first in the morning to wake us up. When I look at you, Sam, with all the fame around you right now, I know that you deserve every penny. After what you've been through. All the Hyungs are saying the same" Mingyu Oppa smile to him. Samuel smile back at him. Yes, Samuel has been through a lot in his life.
"So, other Seventeen Sunbae already know about you guys?" I ask Mingyu Oppa, cause all Twice members already know about him.
"A few of them. Seungcheol Hyung, Seokmin and Vernon know. They know about Tzuyu since the first time I get acquainted with her. The others will know someday, I don't hide it, I just don't tell them. They will realize by themselves since they know that Tzuyu is the closest girl from my ideal type"
Mingyu Oppa looks at Tzuyu with his loving eyes. These two, they should be together ages ago.
"I am sorry that I can't take my eyes of her" Mingyu Oppa rags to her.
"Oppa!" Tzuyu stares at him with her wide eye. She's shy.
"Speaking about Ideal type, didn't you mention someone from my company, Sam?" Mingyu Oppa then turns to Sam.
"OH YES, Oppa. He likes someone with long legs, long hair, good at dancing and singing. And the last is, have lots of aegyos. Just like Kyulkyung Unnie. Perfectly like her" I immediately say it to Mingyu Oppa passionately.
He stares at me, couldn't even say a word.
"YA KIM SAMUEL! How could you say that in a national TV?" Mingyu Oppa corners him, Tzuyu corners him as well with his eyes.
"I......I......I don't mean that" Samuel say that while looking at my face.
"Hyung! Don't corner me! How.....how.....how can I say things similar to Chaengie, they will found out that it's Chaengie. I can't do that" Samuel say in stutter mode.
I only raise my eyes. Seeing him panic is one of my joy as well. Actually, I don't mad at him about seeing things like that on national TV. The way that it has to be that specific that I don't like. But I understand him.
We go parting. Mingyu Oppa will take Tzuyu back to the dorm. The double date went well even though I am still playing hard to get to him because of that article. Yes, I am a bit sulky. Why doesn't he realize from the first place, the article is everywhere, he doesn't even say anything to me.
"Chaengie, are you really mad over that article?" He say before he drives. I giving him no answer.
Samuel drive himself to his home. Samuel tries to lighten the mood by teasing and constantly talk all the time. Until he's giving up and ended up silent. We will switch driving as usual. As I enter his building. Instead of dropping him off at the basement lift, he parks my car. He parks my car the way a man park a car. He places his hand on my seat and looking back while I have a side camera. He's trying to show off to me, right? But why I feel fluttered over this things tho? I used to hate things like this when someone did it on TV. Gosh.
"What are you doing?" Samuel then unbuckled my seatbelt.
"Come upstairs" He then gets out from my car, taking my car key. I sulking "Come on, Noona" He takes my hand.
I take a deep breath and follow him to his apartment. We still silent even when we go to his 12th floor.
He presses his house code and enters it. I follow him. He unlock his bedroom and enter it. I just wait in the living room. I feel nervous somehow. He then get out from his bedroom, he brings 2 binders in his hand.
"Read this and we can talk again after" He gives to me and smile to me and I just receive it silently. He then go back to his room, he leaves me alone.
From the outside, it's just like a usual binder. Just like you see from the office. It's so thick and heavy. I open the red binder one. It says 2015 on it. I turn the page. The first page is the photo of me in OHH AHH teaser back at 2015. Then my debut at MCountdown, he prints all the debut stage from Mcountdown to Inkigayo. So many articles about our debut. Down to photos at fan sign, he must take it from fansite and print it. 2016, Cheer up era, our first CF. He even buys the product and has it stick to the binder. I amazed at how there are so many my faces there. He put so many stickers as I turn the awards page. He had to search through all fansite to take my pictures. What a true fan.
2017, the year that he also debuts. He sticks a picture where he delivered his album to us and a picture all of us with him. He circles my picture and writing it "FINALLY I MET CHAEYOUNG!" though it's a group pic, I know that he's so happy over that. It becomes less photos of me from the fansite. As I turn the page, so many printed articles about Twice and me. Guess he doesn't have the time to collect my photos anymore, the only thing he can do is to collect the articles. Then the photo of him deliver his album again, he also took a selfie of himself with us in the background when we first share the stage together. The first photo of me by himself, blurry one but he took it himself.
I move to the second binder. And then 2019, I open it, I saw our group photo from Somi's new year party. A party that met us up. A selfie that Somi took as well with her friends including Samuel and me. A selfie on our first date, a selfie on our second date. A birthday card that he made, he took pictures of it and stick it to the binder. A photo of Belle's pendant, a photo from my birthday dinner. His selfie at Tzuyu birthday party with the Malibu he gave to me. Then articles again, that time I shut him for almost 6 months. And then, a photo of the first snow in 2019, the first photo of me and him covering in the heavy snow after I kiss him that time. A photo of me driving a car, 2019 close by a selfie at his car on Christmas day and a photo of turtleneck that I bought for him.
2020, so many pictures about us from the page one. His birthday, he took the dish that I made, a photo when I kiss him on the cheek with cream from his cake, a sulky photo from when he wore a Clippers jersey and a photo when we lock lips. Photo from our dates again. The photo from my birthday at Achasan, photo when I sleep in the car, photos when I trekking and pouting my face, our selfie at the peak, sunrise photos, A photo when he kissed my cheek, photo when I am taking his homemade seaweed soup, and another photo of us lock lips under the sunrise. Another selfie we took from our dates, until our 2 weeks ago. Still lots of articles about Twice and me in magazine covers.
All of my life in these 2 binders. He collected since 2015 since I debut. He even took his personal time to organize all of this even after he's also made a debut. He's growing up from avid fans, sasaeng fans even, to a trainee of survival show, to an Idol, to a singer, top one, and to my boyfriend. And he still likes me after all he's been through. He's indeed doesn't have to mention me at the national TV at all because I know that he loves me more than anything.
I close the binders and knock on his bedroom door. I never enter his bedroom, we always hanging out in the living room under his managers watch if I happened to visit his. He won't answer, I open the door. He's facing his computer and wearing a headphone, playing a game, an action one. I know from his gesture that he's irritating with my action today. I also take a look at his room, he loves to collect things I guess, so many articles from magazine and newspaper about him that he hangs on his bedroom wall. I take off his headphones. I hug him from the back as he sits still. He stops playing and takes a deep breath. Still, don't want to face me.
"Are you happy, Sam with me" He dosn't saying anything but nod his head.
"How much do you love me, Sammy?"
"This big" He spread his arm.
"I love you" I whisper it to his ear and kiss his cheek. I mean every word. That feeling can't be pushed, I tell him cause I do feel that I love him.
He laughs a bit and downing his head and down. I look at him closely.
He then turns his chair and takes me in his lap. I circling my hand in his neck.
"Say it again. I don't hear you" he say to me, his face is serious.
I cup his small face and looking straight into his eyes. "I love you, Kim Samuel Arredondo. Satisfy?"
He then kisses my lips hungrily. I kiss him back, he lifts me up and starts to slowly lay me in his bed. He's on top of me, kissing me, tilting his head right and left, I cup his face. Making out session. I hope he's not traveling his mouth down to my neck cause it's my weakness. He then releases me and looking me to the eyes. And kiss me once again. He then lay down beside me as well. He hugs me.
"It does bother you a lot, isn't it?" He's talking about the article.
"Actually, it's no. But the fact that you're mention a name and the way you describe you type is completely opposite from me, it's........."
"Noona, we promised to not to give hints on each other"
"I know, but long legs, long hair, dance and singing, aegyo? Are you trying to mock me up, or what? And Pinky Unnie? You know I am so close to her. She's from you ex-agency, the comments tho, so many fans saying that you look perfect together, Irritating"
"YA SON CHAEYOUNG! Since when do you care about things like that?"
"I don't know......Just"
"Are you jealous?"
"NO! NO AT ALL, WHY AM I?"
"You are definitely jealous, I can see that. You're so cute when you're jealous" I don't want to answer him. We sleep silently, watching the ceiling. Cuddling sure is the thing that I always love.
"Thank you, Sam, for showing me your binder," I say it.
"I supposed to show that to you at the end of this year. But I know that you're going to forgive me if I show you that. I am sorry that I didn't think clearly about what I said. I get surprised when the MC ask me that, I'm just blabbering" I nod. He say it. It really is effective.
He then embraces me in his arm.
"I love you, Chaengie!" He kisses my nape.
"Me too"
I am in love, again.