For these couple of weeks we've been busy with a couple of things,the Ravagers and i have been working hard but all this work is stressing me out. I've been feeling really depressed lately,i can't talk to no one in this damn ship,they are all guys and Yondu has been busy like i said.
I sat down by a corner just listening to Yondu shouting at his men for being lazy and drinking, I looked down at the picture i had in my hands which is Peter and I as kids,we knew each other since we were kids and i haven't been able to communicate with him.
I called him a week ago,he quickly took the call but told me that he was busy so couldn't talk right now.
Every time he needs my help he comes to me,but when i need his,he doesn't.
"(Y/N) are you gonna sit there all day?" Yondu snapped at me. Oh,no. he's angry again.
"I will in a bit." I whisper.
"If you want to continue being one of us you need to toughen up girl!"
I groaned on the inside and felt like crying so i stood up and walked over to my room,i didn't care if Yondu kept shouting my name for me to listen to him. I stepped into my room and closed the door angrily and laid myself in bed staring at the ceiling.
Another reason why Yondu has been angry at me is because of these missions i always keep distracting myself or refuse to join them and go my own way. I can't do anything right. I have no family,no friends or anyone to tell my feelings,i feel so lonely.
I didn't realize that I started to cry until i felt a few drops on my jeans,i feel so lonely...
I pulled up my sleeves and saw the scars,the ones i did weeks ago,and the ones i did yesterday. I got out my small pocket knife and slowly started to draw a few lines. It would be the best if i just died.
I cried and cried until my door was kicked open, "(Y/N),what did i tell you about walking away from me while i'm talking!...what are you doing?"
"I'd rather he gone Yondu,for good this time, I feel so lonely in this crappy ship a-and i have n-no kn to talk to."
Yondu walked faster and threw the knife away and knelt down to my level and he wrapped his arms around me while holding my bleeding wrist.
"Don't ever try to do that ya hear me?!" Yondu said grabbing my face with his hands, "You're one of the best members in this team. You could always talk to me,i don't know why you never bothered to speak to me in the first place."
I sniffed and looked at him, "I was scared that someone else would push me aside."
Yondu hugged me tight and kissed my head, "You can always talk to me,if i were to lose you i'd be miserable...come on let's get you cleaned up."
Yondu helped me up and wrapped my wrist up,now i can finally trust Yondu and not as a friend anymore. I'm sorry if i'd ever worry you.