CH 17
Lunch was good. They went to the mall and the two men ate at a restaurant together without having to cut anyone's meat, listen to a tale too convoluted to understand, or generally prevent any sort of an argument about which superhero was better. Instead they had adult conversations about grown up things. Phillip talked about plants and clients, Gareth talked about school and students. They might have even broached the state of the government, fortunately they seemed to agree on politics, mostly. Together they sipped their pints, had their meals, and occasionally glanced at the sports playing on the twenty televisions the restaurant boasted that were placed around the room.
"Do you think the kids are okay?" Phillip asked, concern evident when there was a lull in their discussion. After all, he wasn't used to not having them around since the family moved in.
"I'm sure they're having a great time. Mel and Vern are probably spoiling them rotten," Gareth stated, less concerned. Although it did feel odd to be without them, relaxing but odd.
"How can you be so calm? Don't you miss them?"
"Of course I do, but Mel and Vern are totally competent and I can't help but focus on the incredibly amazing and hot person I'm with, instead."
"Oh," Phillip said, his face blushing in a way that Gareth found most becoming.
"You know, I liked you the first time I laid eyes on you." Gareth reached across the table and took Phillip's hand that had been worrying at a napkin. "I'm just so thankful you let us stay."
"Best decision of my life," Phillip said, nodding in agreement. He thought carefully for a second before adding, "I never knew how much I wasn't living. You, and the kids, it's like a miracle for me." His words were soft and he was almost quaking from how vulnerable the admission made him. Gareth could crush him but he was pretty sure he wouldn't. Instead, Gareth leaned over and tilted Phillip's head up, dark chocolate brown meeting hazel, eyes locked. Ever so slowly, he brought his lips to Phillip's and caressed them lightly with his own. Their cheeks both reddened, not used to kissing in public, but happy to be able to.
The two men finished up at the restaurant, then decided to walk through the mall, both needing odds and ends before getting to their ultimate destination of the drug store. They were mature, after all, so a mad dash to the condom section might look childish, no matter how bad they wanted to get back to bed. A few shirts, some socks, and a belt later, and they were standing outside the neon sign of the pharmacy.
"Did you want me to go in and buy the stuff by myself?" Gareth asked, since Phillip might be uncomfortable.
"No. I want everything just as much as you, so I need to take an active role in this part, too." Both men were slightly aroused at just the thought of what this purchase would mean for them--the next thing they both desperately wanted to experience together. Phillip took Gareth's hand and they headed to the family planning section. It was thankfully lacking in customers, but certainly not in product.
Immediately Phillip was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of choices and options on display. There were blue packets and shiny foil boxes, ribbed and extra-large, flavoured and multi-coloured; a plethora of prophylactics to confuse and confound. Especially for first time buyers, like Phillip. While he was lost staring at all their options, Gareth was busy examining the choices in lubricants on the lower shelves and was crouching down to get a closer look.
"Uh, Gareth?"
"Yes?" He was busy, distracted by trying to decide between two different brands of lube, each touting their own special type of slickness, and Gareth was weighing his options. Was there a difference?
"I can't pick." Phillip was shuffling a little, confused and embarrassed.
"Just get whatever looks decent, I guess. I don't know, is there some brand you recognize?" Honestly, it's not like Gareth was a pro at this, either. If he was, he wouldn't have fathered any kids, or at least not by accident. It was funny, really, that he was taking precautions now, when there was no chance of pregnancy or any sort of an STI, but he'd been somewhere far more potentially dangerous without any cover at all when he was younger. Even completely drunk, that kind of mistake was mortifying. While that thought crossed his mind, they were interrupted by the staccato tapping of heels down the aisle that stopped just short of the two men, at the display of pregnancy tests.
"Does this look good?" Phillip held a shiny blue box with a stylized picture of a warrior down for Gareth's inspection.
"Sure." He shrugged and nodded in approval.
"Oh, just fucking great."
Gareth froze in dread. He knew that voice. Of all the bloody drugstores in town, how was it possible they'd happened to pick the same one?
"If it isn't the flaming faggy father and his fuck toy." Leeann's tone was acrid, dripping with venom. She placed a well manicured hand on her jutted out hip, in an aggressive stance, while she huffed. Whatever lustfulness the men had been feeling was instantly quashed. Gareth rose slowly, carefully, still holding the lube in his hand, even though it was completely forgotten.
Phillip examined the woman standing next to them. Judging by Gareth's shocked reaction, this must be Leeann, and she looked vaguely familiar. She was well put together in a tight fitting, lacy, bustier-type top and a very short skirt, bottle blonde with long wavy hair and a face not unlike Daisy's, although the pinched, furious expression was not at all becoming. It was sad to think that this woman was the mother of the three wonderful children Phillip had grown to care about. And things might be even worse, for clutched in her hand was a 1st Response pregnancy test.
Glancing at the box in Phillip's hand as she gave him the once over, Leeann continued, "Oh, does he bottom for you? He must, because he always was a giant pussy, and lord knows he can't fuck worth a shit, I had to do all the work." She turned her derisive gaze back to Gareth. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend? I should probably know the kind of pervert you have around MY children."
"Leeann, you need to leave," Gareth tried to remain calm, even though every instinct was telling him to cower and prepare for her fist.
"It's a free fucking country, you giant asswipe. We're in the mall, and it's a public place." She eyed their chosen items with a snort, knowing what they were preparing for. "Don't think this won't hurt you in the custody case. You can't just expose our kids to whichever manslut you choose to fuck each week."
Phillip's eyes were open wide in shock, his lips pressed into a tight line, as he witnessed the exchange. Whatever Gabe heard from Mitchell or Mitchell's dad was no worse than the absolute rubbish that came spewing out of this harlot's mouth.
Still Gareth tried to act steady. "Leeann, you're in violation of your restraining order. If anything, this encounter will affect you in court, not me."
"Oh yeah, a big man needs a little piece of paper because he's scared of a lil' ole me," she spat mockingly while flicking her hands around. "I'm gonna get the kids and you're gonna pay for what you did. No one in their right mind will give a dirty queer like you custody of young children, corrupting them with your disgusting habits."
Gareth wasn't sure what to say. He was truly embarrassed that Phillip had to hear Leeann's rant and was disgusted with himself for spending so many years with such an awful person. He didn't want to be in this confrontation and he didn't want to appear weak, but he was lost, completely confounded.
Meanwhile, Phillip felt terrible for Gareth and the children. What a truly terrible woman, and he could see Gareth struggling. He was moved to speak.
"Gareth is correct. You are in violation of your restraining order and need to leave or let us pass. I don't know how three such lovely children could come from a witch like you, but I truly hope that test comes back negative, because no other kids should be exposed to your abuse and neglect." He looped his arm through Gareth's and led the man towards the checkout with strength he didn't know he possessed. All Phillip knew was that he had to get his man away from the abusive ex who had made his life hell.
Not content to let them be, she followed them up the aisle, spitting expletives like bullets. Phillip could feel Gareth shrinking next to him as each barb met their mark, his head sinking lower, spine curving, and shoulders drooping. It was like any confidence the man had was being sloughed away roughly by her grating voice. For once, Phillip could sort of understand why Gareth felt he hadn't been able to leave. It wasn't that Gareth hadn't wanted to, but more that he'd been demoralized enough that he just couldn't see a way out. He had been living in day to day survival mode, rather than seeing the bigger picture.
"You're a useless piece of shit that no one could ever love, Gareth," she said his name with a mocking whine, "and when I get the kids away from you disgusting faggots you'll never see them again." Leeann ignored Phillip altogether and continued to harangue Gareth in a fashion all to familiar to the father.
"Look, I won't hesitate to call the police to bring charges against you. I really suggest you back away," Phillip warned her as they reached the checkouts. The few people who had been in line scurried to the side to become onlookers to the outrageous turn of events while waiting to purchase their hair dye and vitamins. Phillip turned to the cashier, a shocked teenaged girl whose gum nearly dropped from her mouth upon hearing Leeann's diatribe, "Do you have security here? This woman is in clear violation of her restraining order and is causing a disturbance."
The young woman shakily reached towards her phone to call for help, but Leeann stopped her with a scornful, icy glare, putting her hand up. "Fine, I'll go. But Gareth, I threw you away like the trash you are, and I'm sure this fucker will do the same once he realizes that you're a spineless piece of shit." Leeann's last bit of vitriol flew over her shoulder as she stormed out of the store, security alarms adding to the din due to the pregnancy test still clenched in her evil talons.
"I'll pay for her test. Just shut the alarms off," Gareth mumbled towards the tiled floor and scuffed shoes, his head still lowered, hair flopping forward, face roasting in shame. Even when he wasn't with Leeann, he was still paying for her. Leeann was right, though, there was no way Phillip would want him after all this. He was an unloveable piece of dirt, as Leeann had reminded him countless times in the past. He was useless and spineless. Every one of her criticisms were something he'd heard before, and they were all true. There were tears of hurt, frustration, and complete humiliation threatening to escape.
"Are you sure, Sir?" the cashier queried trying to give a sympathetic smile. She was thinking of just writing it up as lost inventory; pregnancy tests were stolen a lot, albeit usually by scared teens, not scary adults.
The other customers by the checkout were staring at the two men, now having an interesting story to tell when they returned home, and Gareth wanted to disappear into the dirty ceramic floor from being used as the after lunch stage show and general punching bag. Phillip, on the other hand, for someone who was normally so docile, was livid. He wanted to chase that abhorrent creature named Leeann into the mall and tear a strip off her. He wanted her charged with theft, with coming in contact with Gareth, neglectful and deplorable parenting, and with being an all around terrible person. He wanted to physically harm the woman that could reduce the wonderful man he cared about into a shrunken pile of insecurities. He wanted to hurt her, cause her unbelievable amounts of pain, for every insult, snide comment, hit, punch, purposeful illness, every wrong she'd ever done to the Lewises.
Gareth nodded and paid the bill for the lube, condoms, and pilfered pregnancy test, feeling beaten, not physically, but certainly mentally. He'd forgotten how bad Leeann could make him feel, how sick, how his insides twisted painfully with her every word. Gareth longed to go and hide, like Daisy used to. He had desperately wanted to have a fantastic date and first time with Phillip, but now everything was tainted and he was sick with guilt and mortification. Not only had Leeann managed to spoil whatever he and Phillip had, Gareth couldn't even bring himself to defend himself against her. Forty five dollars on pregnancy tests and sexual accoutrements he'd never use kind of summed it up. Leeann was right. He really was a piece of shit. He could feel the disgust and anger radiating off Phillip, and Gareth knew they were done. The only saving grace was that the children weren't there to witness what transpired, although, lord knows, they'd seen it often enough already.
Walking stoically, holding the bags of purchases, it was like a death march through the mall. Phillip still held Gareth at the elbow, leading him towards the car, towards an end.
The two men got back to the car and drove home in heavy silence. Gareth could feel Leeann's voice reverberating through his mind and pummelling at his psyche. When they returned to the empty house, Gareth dropped their purchases on the table in the kitchen, then shut himself in his bedroom, face down on the bed, sobbing quietly into his pillow. For sure Phillip would want nothing to do with him now, and because they'd been together as more than landlord and tenant, they were going to have to move due to the awkwardness. The kids were going to hate him for uprooting them, but it was obvious that Leeann was going to taint whatever bit of happiness Gareth would ever manage to carve out for himself.
Gareth was resolved, when he got up, he was going to start packing and look through the rental ads. At least this time he had a bit saved up for a deposit.
A/N: Why can't she just get hit by a bus? (Leeann, right? Not me.) Is Gareth in his right mind, or is he suffering the fate of many abused people, of self-loathing and low self-esteem? And what is Phillip doing? Their day started off well, but seems to have completely derailed. Let's hope they can get everything back on track for Friday's update.
I know that this isn't the happiest chapter, but honestly, people who have been abused can easily slip back into the bad place when they face similar abuse or their abuser again.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and voting.
<3 JJ