Chapter Four
Bitterly Lovely
Part One
Bryan's lips traveled up her body, lingering on her lips when they met. He cupped his hands around her chin and pressed against her, forcefully kissing her. She was unresponsive, frozen underneath him, tears staining her cheeks as she let him kiss her. She didn't want him to do more, though, ever. Her pounding heart started slowing, retreating on its beats as she started to give away to her own exhaustion.
His fingers traced the frame of her face, pulling her as close as possible, and brushed over the bruises that were enflamed with pain. He kept kissing her, trapping her with him.
However, he was so distracted by his interactions with Skye that he failed to even hear the sounds of footsteps on the floor above. It was then when a voice called out, worried and muffled through the floor and door blocking the sounds volume. "Skye, where are you, sweetie?" It was Leah, calling out for the daughter she couldn't find.
He was snapped out of the kissing, a sudden fear of being caught electrifying his veins and pushing him to get off the couch, cursing under his breath. Scrambling around for his shirt, he slipped it over his head as he muttered to himself about how he thought it all was very unfortunate.
Giving a glance in the direction of Skye, he noticed she was still on the couch, breathing quickly. Hurrying to her aid, he pulled her shirt down over her and lifted her up into his arms, her arms limply falling around him. "What do I do?" He whispered, his heart pounding inside his chest, threatening to break free.
She was weak, slowly fading, and unable to really process what was happening; but with a little help from fret and fear, she found enough of her voice to give him an answer. "Set me down," she spoke quietly, trying to ignore the ringing in her ears. He did as she told him, and she wobbled a moment, his arms catching her into balance. "Stay down here, Bryan, and I'll talk to them. Then, when you don't hear us anymore, leave and go home." She added, straining to find her concentration on his face.
He looked at her for a moment, burning those dark blue eyes into her, and gave her a small smile before kissing her forehead and giving her a gentle push towards the stairs. She didn't know what to make of it, his sudden carefulness, but she knew that it was better than what she had experienced moments before.
Practically crawling up the stairs, she made her way out the door and around the corner, sneaking a peak to find Leah. Finding no one, she made her way into the kitchen, weariness creeping into her body. She tried to manage her way over to the stools, but she collapsed, the stress and tiredness draining her energy. Her eyes were heavy, threatening to close as she watched as blackness dotted her vision.
The shuffling of footsteps echoed in her ears as Leah and Johnny entered the kitchen, her only awareness of them being their slippers. Leah gasped, rushing down beside her daughter. "Skye, are you alright?" Her small voice was filled with worry—the same worry that was speeding her beating heart. "What happened, sweetie? Why are you not in bed?" She asked as she pulled her into her own arms and put her hands on Skye's face, examining her.
Skye wanted to reply, she tried to reply, but nothing came out. She looked at Leah's blurring face, fighting the oppressing darkness of sleep. She didn't want for her to be worrying; she wanted Leah to be happy, never having to even think about worrying for her. Johnny, on the other hand, she couldn't care less what he did or how he felt.
"She doesn't look well. I'll put her to bed," Johnny said, setting his hand on Leah's shoulder. He looked entirely exhausted but in another way, he looked fully alive, driven by the opportunity to help his wife.
"Be careful, Johnny, remember her wounds," Leah reminded him, giving a glance in his direction. She held her daughter, cradling her, and kissed her head, whispering soothing words.
Johnny bent down and lifted Skye's limp body into his arms, holding her as a young child, and carried her out of the room and up the stairs, Leah following behind them.
"I'll be in bed," Leah told him, rubbing at her temples as she walked away down the hall.
Skye groggily looked up, noticing Johnny's slow nod aimed towards Leah, and whimpered, hating how he was the one touching her. She had just been through so much with Bryan, and even though he wasn't doing anything wrong to her, she hated Johnny's touch.
He entered her room and nestled her down on the bed, tossing a blanket over her shaking body. He knew why she was shivering and how it wasn't at all because of the temperature. Still, he didn't seem to mind that, maybe enjoyed it even. He cocked his head to the side when she brought the blanket around her, cuddling into the warmth and security, and smiled faintly, a cold and weary smile.
She could only guess that he knew something more of what had happened earlier, the truth maybe. Closing her eyes tightly, she tried to cope with the dark and taunting images of Bryan's sick game. She couldn't forget about the looks he had given her, the feel of his lips crushing against hers, and the torturing discomfort of his body weighing against hers. She hated it all, each and every part; and in one part of her, she hated Bryan more than anything. Then her mind gave in, making words form into a lesson she should have learned long before. Bryan's just never going to grow up or change. He'll always be the same boy that I stupidly fell for, only, now I have grown weak because of him.
Johnny left the room, refraining from saying anything, and she sighed as she felt her mind relax, the exhaustion finally letting her escape the dark world.
***
Skye bolted upright in bed, gasping, with a cold sweat plastering her hair to skin. She had a nightmare, Bryan starring as her assaulter. Exhaling slowly, she winced as the pain from the sudden movement pierced her ribs. It was just a dream, she concluded, fighting off the sheer horror of how real the dream had felt. Her mind was swimming in a vast river of horror as she unwillingly recalled moments of the dream. She couldn't stand any of it—especially the realness of Bryan's touch, as if it hadn't been a dream at all.
Carefully, she pealed the covers away from her and managed to get out of bed. She needed a shower. It could help clear her mind.
As she took a shower she let the hot water wash away her crippling pain, hoping that it would take it all away. The pain wouldn't be numbed though; it couldn't be numbed entirely. Whether the pain was physical or emotional, as long as she stayed with Bryan and Johnny she would have such an uncomfortable pain.
Once finished, she wrapped herself in a towel and stared in the mirror, looking at the reflection with regret. She didn't see herself. She only saw a weak, fragile, and slowly fading girl—desperately hoping for something seemingly impossible.
"You have let yourself get into this," She whispered to the reflection. A cold and desperate hatred clung to her heart and she let out a cry of agony. "It's your entire fault!" She cried out, but the sound was muffled and quiet, her trembling lips spluttering out the words. Dropping her head in her hands, she curled against the counter, pain tearing across her chest. She ignored it.
In her mind, she replayed the events of the night before, wishing them away with no luck. How could I have been so stupid? He was just using me, the entire time. He doesn't really want to change. But, he has to; otherwise... I can't be near him. I can't give up on him either way. He needs me more than I need freedom. It was settled in her mind. She had to help him. With what, she wasn't even sure; but she knew it had to be done. It would save them both in the long end.
Even if staying with him and helping him for a long while was the only way.
She cringed at the idea, hating how much of a possessive hold he had on her. There were so many reasons for as to why she should find a way to escape both Johnny and Bryan, but no matter how many or how big they were, the fear of losing someone important to her topped it all.
She wanted to go back to how things used to be with Bryan; back to when he wasn't always aggressive with her. Going back to the days when the moments they shared built their relationship up and only brought smiles to their faces, that's what she wanted.
"Skye, don't even think about it," Bryan warned her, laughing under his breath as he watched her flaunt herself and his cell phone in front of the water at the shore. She was giggling, pure joy spilling from her countenance.
"Oh, I've already thought about it, Bry." She teased, bringing the phone to her lips and faking a search for the perfect spot in the water to drop it.
He started walking over to her, holding his hand up, his bright eyes bold and shining. "Skye, hand over the phone," he told her steadily, his lips tipping at the corners into a stern smile.
"Or, I could hand it over to the waves. Unless , of course, you're ready to give me my phone back." She raised her eyebrows, challenging him.
He chuckled lightly, lowering his hands as he walked through the small waves at his feet. "How about we end this? With a truce," he offered, shooting her a full smile.
She thought about it for a moment, but shook her head, stepping back a little.
"Okay...you asked for it," he mumbled, grinning vibrantly and charging at her. He wrapped his arm around her stomach as she squealed and turned to run, failing at the attempt. She was about to give the phone a toss just as he snatched it from her hand with his free hand. "Uh-uh, no tossing the phone." He laughed, quickly stuffing the phone in his t-shirt pocket and wrapping his arm around Skye.
She giggled as he lifted her high above the tides, her arms flailing at the quick movement. Her hands gripped his arms as he quickly grabbed her from underneath her knees and cradled her. She screamed when she realized what he was about to do.
"No, Bry, not the water," she shrieked, trying to sound as stern as possible. She didn't want to get wet, she hadn't prepared to get wet except for her feet. "Bryan Wesley Echols, stop this instant!" She cried, her voice going from slightly amused to slightly annoyed.
They were far into the water already; Bryan's shorts drenched with water along with the end of his shirt. "Too late!" He announced, grinning down at her and looking out across the water. He tossed her into the water, her hands flailing at the release, and laughed as she screamed a quite piercing scream.
When she came above the water, she glared at him, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "You little—"
He held up a hand, staring her down. "Hey—there are little ears around," he teased.
She gave him a smile, trying to convince herself that it was fake, though it wasn't. "Bryan, you know I wasn't going to say anything." She grinned, splashing him.
He flinched, taken aback by the cold water, and made a face. "My turn," he said. He was being completely playful as he ducked under water and pulled her with him, her only reactions falling under the water with him, wrapped in his protective arms.
When Skye came out of the memory, tear stains painted her pale face. She hated memories like those; the memories that brought so much pain and sadness because of what had been. She missed those days that replayed in her memories; but they were already long gone and all she knew was the pain.
Turning her head to the side, an object caught her eye, challenging her to pluck it up. Even though she knew it wasn't what she needed or should even want in that case, she couldn't resist the tearing urge to take it.
Walking over to the tub, she plucked the object and examined it. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, screaming at herself for having those kinds of thoughts in the first place. Before she could stop herself, she sliced the razor across her wrist, wincing. She wanted to cry out in pain, the fierce burning pain inflaming her wrist, but she didn't. Even though fresh tears poured down her cheeks from the misery of it, she knew that was what she needed. She needed the feeling of being in control, whether it meant hurting herself to get it or not.
Covering her fresh wound with her hand, she wobbled over to the sink and ran cold water over it, gasping from the pain. It was inflamed, causing her eyes to water and her body to crumble from the pain. She wanted to scream. The pain was so dark, so cold, she couldn't decide if she hated it or wanted more.
It was wrong—the way she felt—but she couldn't deny the part of her that enjoyed the terrible pain.
She was in control for once.
Suddenly, a gentle knocking brought her from the dark thoughts that had started to eclipse over her and she fell against the sink, startled.
"Skye sweetie, are you alright?" Leah said, her soft voice echoing through the door.
Skye sighed, closing her eyes and trying to forget about the pain in her wrist, and turned off the water. "Sure, Mom." She opened the cabinet above the sink and pulled out a few bandages, unwrapping them and slapping them over her wound.
"Are you sure? Because if you're not, I can stay home today and take care of you."
Skye winced as the wound still throbbed and pulled her arm against her chest, as if she was protecting it. "Don't stay home, Mom; I want you to have a good day. Besides, I was actually thinking about inviting Rachel over. I wouldn't be alone." She replied quietly.
Leah sighed. "Is everything alright, though?"
"Yes, Mom, everything is just fine. Now, go wherever it is you want to go and do whatever it is you want to do." Though Skye sounded sincere and calm, she was secretly hoping that her mom didn't leave her alone. She knew that she could evade Bryan's company but that didn't lessen her nerves. She was going to talk to Rachel, but whether or not Rachel wanted to be around her was another story.
"If you're sure," Leah hesitated, waiting for Skye's response.
"I'm sure."
"Okay sweetie, Johnny and I will be back later. Take it easy okay? The doctor's said you need to be careful."
Skye sighed, standing up and tossing the bloodied towel in the hamper. So she's going with Johnny, She thought. Of course she is. Despite her own feelings against Johnny, she tried to sound happy for her mom. After all, she was just going out on a date with her husband; she had no idea that the man she was married to was an abusive man who takes every string of anger out on his underage step-daughter. And how could she know? No one could speak a word of it to her.
"I will," She promised. "Goodbye Mom, love you."
Leah smiled from the other side, grateful that her daughter was feeling alright. Only, that was all that she thought. She had no idea that her daughter was aching inside, stressed and terrified. "Goodbye, sweetie, love you too." She said before leaving.
Skye could hear her mom descend down the stairs and it broke her heart to hear that she was going out with Johnny. He may be Leah's husband and Skye's step-father but that doesn't give him the right to do anything he wants with Skye. She dropped to her knees, ignoring all of the pain in her body and the ringing in her ears. She wanted to see Jules, to have him hold her and comfort her like he had tried to before. She regretted that decision as much as she regretted the past night's decision. If she had only let Jules comfort her maybe none of that would have happened. If she had taken his offer for a ride, she never would have had to worry about Johnny, she never would have found out the painful truth.
Skye cried silently, letting all of her regret slip away, and stared through the blurriness of water at her hands. The same hands she had laced through Bryan's hair and fingers, the same hands she had held Leah's hands with when she was little, and the same hands that never held her father's hands; the scarred hands of a girl with a broken soul.
Skye pulled herself upright and wetted down a clean rag. She scrubbed the floor and around the tub where her blood had spilled; the evidence had to go away, far away and out of the picture. Washing any off her hands, she stared into her own eyes, drenching herself in the cool gray eyes. She tried to smile with satisfaction of herself, but couldn't. She still continued to feel that everything was her terrible fault.
She wobbled out of the bathroom, holding her newly wounded wrist, and walked into her bedroom. With the towel still wrapped around her, she opened her dresser and pulled out clothes for the day. As she got dressed there were only to things on her mind. One: She needed to work things out with Bryan. Two: She needed to talk to Rachel, to get out of the house. Rachel wouldn't have to know about how she got the wound.
Skye grabbed her cell and dialed her number, gulping down her uneasiness.
After two rings, Rachel picked up.
"Hey, Skye. What's up?" Rachel's cheerful voice sang.
Skye tuned the ringing in her ears down, faking as happy as a voice as possible. "Hey," she said. "Well, nothing really. Leah's gone out with Johnny again."
"Again? Well isn't that just great," Rachel mocked accusingly, groaning. "Sorry, girlie. But why don't you come hangout with me at Oliver's party tonight? I'm heading over there later."
Skye weighed her options. She could stay home, alone, tempting herself with the blade. Or, she could go with Rachel and try to have some fun.
The latter sounded better. "Sure, Rachel. That sounds great." Sighing, she sat on her bed and rubbed at her temples.
"Awesome!" Rachel squealed, the sound of clapping ringing over the line in Skye's ears. "I was hoping you would say yes. I'll be there at seven to pick you up, okay?"
Skye exhaled. "Yeah, that sounds great, Rachel."
"Alright, Skye. See you later, girlie."
"Goodbye, Rachel, see you at seven." Skye dismissed, pressing the end button. She let herself fall against the bed, dropping to rest, and pressed her palm against her forehead. Images of Jules and his piercing emerald eyes peering at her soul flashed through her mind, causing her heart to sigh and calm. He changed her, making her heart smile. Her expression brightened, her lips tipping into a faint smile.
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A/N. Hi(:
Soooo, I'm super curious, what did ya think? Mind telling me? I absolutely LOVE reading what you have to say. :D Please don't forget to vote, if you did happen to like this! I really appreciate your support. THANK YOU for reading! :D
-Pic on the side of Rachel - ->