Everyday I feel Grateful that Samuel came into my life. He lifted some heavy burden on my shoulder and mind. He's a decent man. We both young, we both still trying to figure it out what's best for each other. I told Samuel that I won't be the same as avarage girl in Seoul. I'm so ignorant, don't expect me to be lovey dovey all the time, I have zero aegyo, I love my "me" time. I am so selfish and stubborn. He's also an earth sign, he's capricorn. The way we act to each other kinda same. He respect my time, I do respect his. Another thing that I really like about him, he also doesn't do what a Seoul man do. He doesn't celebrate Valentine's and White day. Thank God, cause for me it's all pointless. Just me and my idealism.
Having a relationship with him is like having a male best friend. We try to be that couple. I like to think that he's my best friend/boyfriend/dongsaeng. Can't help it, sometimes he could act like Jeonghunnie. Having someone to share an opinion, thoughts, feelings, is the perks of having a boyfriend to me.
It's spring again in Seoul. March. March.........her birthday. Mina Unnie and I become distant after the last time I met her in Gangneung, Yes, we are all still living under the same roof, but we have less interaction. Zero even. If she has free time she would spend it with Bam Oppa and her other liners. I know it from Bam Oppa's SNS tho. He's the most up-to-date person. With our individual schedule, our member has less interaction as well as a group. Jihyo Unnie still keeps the conversation alive in our group chats. I talk mostly to Tzuyu and Nayeon Unnie. Ah, after Sana Unnie's birthday last year, Jeongyeon Unnie decided to end her birthday surprise game, I guess she's tired to give everyone surprises. 8 of us.
This year we keep it low, we celebrate Jihyo Unnie birthday in our dorm, Without Sana Unnie and Dahyun Unnie at that time. I realize now that it's hard to gather us now under the same place. I am a bit sad to know that actually. But it really is a part of our life.
24 March, I wake up feeling confused, whether I should saying happy birthday to her in the morning, or not at all. I go to the kitchen for taking a glass of water. She's there, on the dining table reading a book. Mina Unnie has these hobbies now. First, read a book, second is hiking. Playing game is still her top list tho. I stand in front of her and giving my hand to her.
"Unnie, Happy birthday!"
She closes his book and takes off her glasses.
"Ah, thanks" She received my handshake.
She gets up heading to her room.
"Ah, Chaengie!" She calls my name and turns to me again.
"Yes, Unnie?"
"Tonight, come to Seoulong Oppa's bar, NERD"
It's her birthday, perhaps she will celebrate it at NERD. Even though my mind tells me not to come, it's an event that I couldn't just refuse. Mina Unnie's is my member in the first place. I always ask myself, how long do I have to dodge from her? We might never know that someday perhaps, I could have another overseas tour and I could stuck with her again. I need to overcome this.
"Ah, okay Unnie"
She nods and heads to her room. I will come after my schedule done.
It's the most tiring photoshoot ever. Perhaps it's all because I am not photogenic enough. It's not easy to match High Cut's taste. Still, I am over the moon when they told me that I'll be featured on their cover tho. Oh shit, it's 10 pm already? I hope I am not late to Mina Unnie's party. Strange, my group chat is not lousy as usual. Our members must be there already. It's pretty close from my studio, I ride with my manager.
Someone calls me on my way there, I don't recognize the caller.
"Hello?"
"Is this Chaeyoungssi?"
"Yes, it's her. May I know who is it?"
"Sorry, I am Seoulong" Seulong? 2AM Seoulong? NERD, it's his.
"Oh, Seoulong Sunbae, Hello!" Why would senior Seoulong call me at this hour?
"Yes, I am sorry before, but your member, Mina is here"
"Yes I know, I on my way to your bar"
"Okay, she already called you then? She's drunk" Mina Unnie is drunk? Then why he's calling me now.
"I'm sorry Sunbae, is she with someone? Are my other members there?"
"No, she's alone. She came alone" WHAT?
WHAT? SHE'S ALONE?
"I'll be there in 20 minutes. Please look at after her for a while, Sunbae. Sorry for the troublesome"
"No problem, I'll watch her then"
I hang up the call.
"Unnie, where the hell is our member?"
"Ehm, all of them have an individual schedule except Mina. Why?"
Oh shit. She's really alone.
"I thought we will celebrate her birthday together. Can you please drive faster. Mina Unnie is drunk in Seoulong Sunbae's bar"
"What? Okay!"
My managers drive faster. We could be there in 15 then. Mina Unnie is drunk. Mina Unnie only invites me to her birthday. It's for me alone. Shit.
When I arrive I immediately rush to the bar. Senior Seoulong already moves her to the private room.
"Chaeyoung?"
"Yes, Sunbae"
"This way, I moved her to a private room"
I rush with him.
"I am sorry to call you. The last caller from her phone is your phone number"
"That's okay, Sunbae"
He then opens the private room. She's there. Sipping her drink and laugh when I come to the room. She is drunk. I never see her drunk before.
"Sunbae, could you leave us alone?"
"Okay, okay, let me know if you need anything"
"Thank you, Sunbae!"
I sit beside her. She's about to sip her drink again but I take her glass.
"WHY?" She raise her voice.
"Unnie, you're drunk. Stop it!"
"Let me, it's my day!" She takes the drink and tries to pour it again from the bottle. I look around the table, There are already enough bottle and can. It enough for 3 people, but she takes it alone.
"Unnie!"
"You know what, Chaengie? I've been trying to call you too many time" Funny I don't receive a single call from her. Is my phone not working?
"But, I don't know why I immediately press the eject button!" That's why I don't get the call.
"You're busy dating nowadays!" She says it emphasizing in words dating and air quoting it.
I can't say a word. It's her drunk talking.
"You said that I can treat you drink! FINE! That's why I invited you today! ONLY YOU! But you're too busy now, you forget this Unnie already" She say it while hit her chest.
"Unnie........"
"Shut up!" She shuts me out.
I really don't know what to do. I can't deal with this now.
Fine, you want a drink buddy, you get one. I pour myself a beer from the bottle and take it. I need this too with her situation right now.
"YOU Chaengie! You stop caring tpo, I used to be your favorite Unnie, now you vanished. Must dating be good huh? I should date someone too. Ah yes, let's call Minjae now" She take her phone and struggling to even look at it.
"Unnie!" I take her phone away.
She never ever says what really on her mind. She never shows a big gesture when talking to someone. She does that now. I rub my eyes. All I can do is hear her out. She's drunk, she might not knowing what to say. She will even forget about this after a good sleep.
"Unnie, this is your birthday, let's at least celebrate it, happily, okay?"
"TOO LATE! You ruin my day!" Okay, now it's my fault. Be patient Chaengie, she's drunk, she can't think straight.
Mina Unnie is a really quiet person. I guess when she's drunk she won't shut her mouth.
I keep scratching my head because I don't know what to do.
"Our Chaengie........" She then stroke my hair while looking at me. I look into her puffy eyes.
"What happened to us, huh Chaeng?" You tell me, Unnie. You tell me. I want to say this words to her, but I just can't.
She then dozes. Real doze. That's it. She's reaching her limit. I call Senior Seoulong again to help her move to our car from the back door. Other's can't see her dozing off in this bar. I thank Senior Seoulong once again. We head home. I could see that she's sleeping. I never see her drunk before. I can't stop staring at her. I feel guilty, I also feel pity. Is she really mad at me for stood her up? Is she really feeling left out? I don't know.
We arrived at the dorm, our manager wants to pick Sana Unnie and Jihyo Unnie nearby, I decide to carry her on my back. She's light tho. I carry her through the stairs and the dorm. I open her bedroom and put her there. I take off her shoes. I forget how beautiful she is in her sleep. She sleeps like an angel. I then pull the blanket for her. I look at her once again and turn off the lamp. What a day.
I don't know what's gotten into me, I wake up early in the morning and cook a hangover soup for her. I remember once that she also cook it for me and Tzuyu, I also buy her herbal drinks from a mart. Our member still asleep. As far as I know only Jihyo Unnie, Sana Unnie, Momo Unnie and Tzuyu that came home. Our members don't have to know what really happened last night, I also mention that to my manager.
"Ah you startled me!" As I turn around she's there, can't stop touching her head and groan a bit.
"Oh my head" She's complaint.
"Here" I put the soup in front of her. "Take this also" I put the herbal drink as well.
"Thanks, Chaengie"
I sit in front of her as well. She sips the soup.
"Ah, this is better!"
"Unnie......."
"Hem?"
"I'm sorry that I came late yesterday"
"You came?" She doesn't remember.
"Yes"
"You're the one who picks me up to home, then?"
"Yes"
"Ah, my friends were there way too early. Guess I'm drunk and they already leave" She's lying, really?
"Yes, maybe"
She kee touching his headache head.
"Was I said something weird, Chaengie. I don't remember at all about last night" Is he lying about this too?
"No, you passed out when I came" Lie, I cover lies with another lie then.
"I tend to forget about what happened when I'm drunk. If I say something that hurtful, please know that I don't mean it, okay"
"Okay, you're not tho" I like to believe that you were really drunk that night because if all you said were true, it will be another torture for me all over again.
"Thanks for this" She head to her bedroom again. Yes, she has to rest to pass this hangover. She hasn't said anything about my present for her. I left it on her bedside. Doesn't matter.
Why she lied to me, tho?