___
Tia's perspective
I laughed aloud unable to help myself, the last time I have ever seen Andrew this red was when he had first ever seen me in my bra, in that situation I was thinking why was he ever so embarrassed it wasn't something he hadn't seen before but then again I had realised how much he had a crush on me. One of my favorite memories was teasing him on his dramatic fall in his soccer game. Andrew had tried to impress me with a few tricks, I was definitely impressed but for Andrew, he could have done better, he went in the middle of the soccer field and began to jump up and down as if he was warming up. I laughed as he pulled faces and blushed when he blew me a few kisses but regardless I was in love.
"Are you ready Babe?" he shouted from across the field with a giant cocky grin on his face. I wanted to smack him in the face for being so damn confident but that's what I was attracted to him. Cocky, annoying stuck up boys. I nodded and yelled back. "Yes Baby. Do your worst"
Andrew smirked cockily as I watch him jump up in the air attempting a backflip. My jaw dropped and my heart stopped when his body twisted in the air, I clenched my fist and took a breath. Andrew had landed on his feet like a prancing cat, I breathed in relief when he looked up at me as he bowed when suddenly Ray had come out of nowhere and slid tacked Andrew on the ground. I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry so in that kind of situation I laughed and teased until I got him angry and cause annoyance.
Today I laugh and bring up the memory again and watch him glow with embarrassment, I laughed and tugged on his arm and a almost forgotten everything about both Alexander and Nickola altogether. I dropping my hand instantly and kept my hands to my side, but it was impossible. I can't keep my hands to myself.
"Oh come on Andrew, you don't have to be embarrassed" I teased. Andrew laughed and threw his head back, I smiled widely unable to let out a laugh I was proud that I still had the power to make him blush and feel giddy. I tugged a smile as I looked up at him happily. Andrew suddenly stopped his laughter and looked towards me with his arms crossed and a deadly glare. For a moment my heart had stopped, I was staring at him for too long and he noticed. Look away.
I bite my tongue feeling the shivers down my spine and do as my consciousness has said.
Andrew gently cupped my chin and slowly guided my face to his and he smiled as if he remained something. "How about that time when your mother showed me all your baby pictures," Andrew says with a pause. I crease my eyebrows in confusion, he chuckled evilly and I gulp nervously.
"- and all the secret photographs you have of me"
My eyes widen and I gasped loudly Andrew smirked and pulled out something from his pocket, he slaps three photos in my hand and I look down at them with shock. It was the three photographs I have taken of him back in high school. My jaw dropped and my eyes widen, I didn't think twice before I ripped them to shreds and let them fall to the ground.
"HEEY!" Andrew shouted, he was about to drop to his knees but luckily the wind had picked up and blown the strips down the street along with the leaves and small rubbish. Andrew gasped once again as he watched them slip in the sewer his eyes widen and watched in distress.
I smirked and crept closer to him. "I'm Pennywise!"
Andrew jumped with a small shriek and I laughed clutching onto my stomach. "I can't believe that still works," I said through my laughter. Andrew grumbled and hid his face covering his blush. I laughed harder when suddenly I was swooped up in the air I shrink and clutch onto Andrew's waist with a laugh. "I can believe that still works. I actually like those photos Tia" he mocked with a laugh.
"Andrew! I don't care" I shout. He only laughed and spun us around as I screamed louder and hold on tighter. "Andrew! Put me down!" He laughed as I hit his solid back feeling every muscle, he didn't feel a thing. "Say you're sorry Babe"
I laughed mockingly. "Nah - Ah we are not playing that game" Andrew chuckled as his shoulders bobbed up and down. "Fine" he simply said. I smirked in satisfaction knowing that I have won when suddenly Andrew flips me around in a swift so that he is carrying me bridal style. I gasped to the sudden closeness and as he looked into my eyes with such seriousness; I was paralyzed but inside my heart raced and my mind was screaming kiss him. Andrew looked down at my lips and gulped as he met my eyes. All I see is such love and desire he held.
"Say you're sorry, or I'm going to have to kiss you," Andrew said with such seriousness. The power he held over me was indescribable and everything he ever said brought me to my knees, I was helpless around him and there was no denying it. Andrew leaned closer as I felt his breath hover my lips, I didn't move, breath or speak.
I wanted this. I wanted him.
"Say it, babe. Because later I won't be able to stop" he whispered. I gulped and shook my head and without thinking I leaned closer licking my lips as my grip tightened around Andrew's neck slowly pulling him down slowly. "I'm not - Sorry-"
Andrew hummed "good" I smiled and I felt his lips brush mine when suddenly a loud buzz comes from Andrew's pocket. I opened my eyes and sighed in annoyance as Andrew cusses under his breath, he met my eyes and smirks. "We can not catch a break" he murmured. I giggled like a fourteen-year-old girl who spoke to her crush for the first time. Andrew leaned his forehead against mine and chuckled again, I laughed softly "Andrew?"
"Yes Baby?" he murmured. I would give anything so that this moment would never end, I would give my soul to this boy all over again just to keep at this moment. But I knew I couldn't, I knew I was too selfish.
"Your balls are vibrating"
Andrew laughed and placed me on my feet but never pulled away only came closer so that I felt the phone vibrate on my leg. I gasp but laugh at the same time because I remember these playful moments. He nested his head in the crook of my neck as he chuckled and placed small kisses under my jaw. "Only for you babe. Only for you"
I laugh with a cherry red blush and push him away. "Answer the phone dumbass,"
Andrew laughed and pulled out his phone putting it to his ear. A muffled voice came from the other side and Andrew nodded as he spoke, his expression changed instantly and it made me step back slightly. He turned away reviling his tensed muscles on his back and arms as his hand fisted.
"I'm on my way" Andrew hung up and turned my ways as he shoved his phone into his pocket. "We have to go, Babe," he said before I could answer Andrew took my arm and tugged me to his car.
"Andrew!"
"No time to explain Baby. Come on" He began to walk fast and I started tripping over my feet. I became suddenly very angry. There is obviously something he wasn't telling me. "Andrew. What's going on!"
When he didn't answer I pulled away from his grip and crossed my arms over my chest as I watched him spin around to face me. I glared at him. "Andrew! What is going on?!"
Andrew opened his mouth and closed it quickly as if he wasn't hesitant to tell me. He never kept anything from me, there was never any secrets between us and we always told each other everything.
"I can't tell you, Tia"
Ouch.
I was not taking no for an answer.
"Andrew! You tell me what's going on right now"
He groaned loudly and threw his head back. "Listen, you have to trust me on this. It's better if I don't say a word" I opened my mouth to say something but I was cut off when Andrew gripped onto my shoulders and leaned to meet my eyes.
"You can Trust me, Babe. Please?"
Trust?
This boy has my life.
***
"What the matter beautiful?"
I snap my had toward Nickola and raise my eyebrows in question as we walk down the park's small forest, I look up at the trees and breathe in the fresh smell of pine and oak, I can't move without reaching out and feeling the plants against my skin.
"Nothing-" I smile faintly. Lie. "- I just really love it here" I breath closing my eyes and looking up feeling the warm beam of sunshine hit my skin.
Nickola took my hand in his and gave me a gentle squeeze, "I can tell" I chuckled under my breath and opened my eyes to look at him with a smile. We sit down on a nearby bench and take in nature around us, there were families and couples walking, talking and playing under the now full beaming sunshine. The sheer denseness of the foliage had made me feel cozy and when I looked around everything I loved about this place made me think back to Andrew and I. My heart raced at the precious memories and the logic of thinking about them made me sigh in happiness.
I haven't seen Andrew in four days now. he had disappeared like a ghost all over again, how can I trust a ghost? It is as if I was sitting in a rocking chair worrying and waiting for him to come back and tell me what's happing. I was insanely worried and still am today. But I knew I could trust Andrew but something inside me was saying otherwise and I hated that voice in my head.
"I remember when I was a kid, my brother, dad and I came here and we played soccer until the sunset the horizon-" I said suddenly I smiled lost in memory Nickola looked towards me with an interesting face so I took it as a sight to go on.
"-I was only thirteen and my dad came back from a business trip and he wanted to take us out because he missed us, so we came here. I hit my first strike and I remember seeing my dad so happy and so cheerful and I was so happy because I have never seen him so smiley before"
Nickola laughed and nodded his head "My dad was never smiley either"
I nodded with a laugh "you should have seen the look on his face though, I couldn't believe how happy he was, so I vowed to play soccer just to see him happy"
Nickola looked surprised, "Do you still play?"
I shook my head and looked down to my lap picking off the hairs that appeared out of nowhere. A sad smile spread on my face "I stopped a long time ago" I said with a sigh.
"How come?"
"My dad kept leaving to his jobs and meetings and kept promises he couldn't keep. He never got see me play and I lost my confidence but still had hope that he would come and he did every so often, at my championship he promised he would be there and I was excited and I knew that we were going to win and when I scored the winning goal everyone was cheering and screaming my name. But they didn't matter all I wanted to see is my dad's only smile but when I looked around for his smile he was all the way in Australia promoting his company."
"Hey, don't cry beautiful" Nickola said, I didn't realize that I was until he wiped my tears that dripped slowly from my eyes. I laughed pulling away "It's stupid"
He stood up standing in front of me leveling with me, his eyes blunt and expression harsh. "No beautiful, it's not he should have been there but he missed out and that's what's stupid" I nodded my head agreeing then he leaned lower as expression changed to a very playful one, he smirked and I couldn't help but smile. "I bet if I were there I would have been screaming, properly streaking too"
I laughed with a small blush spreading my cheeks, I cupped his neck and kissed him back with happiness, Nickola stiffened and I felt his jaw clench he pulled away almost instantly. He smiled with a chuckle but I saw something he was hiding; not to complain I'm hiding a lot of things, a lot of big things. So I sat there with a fake teasing smile and Nickola laughed as he rubbed his jaw nervously.
"I think. I think that if you keep kissing me like that I'd be doing more than you expect me to do" Nickola said looking away. I stood up from the bench and hugged him from behind unable to help my tease "oh yeah? Like what?"
Nickola stiffened and I smirked on his back he turned around and wrapped his arms around me holding me close and his lips only inches away from mine.
"Like a lot of things. A lot of big things."
***
I wake up with the sun beaming through my window as the birds chirped and sang. I looked at my phone to see that it was only seven in the morning, I groan and fall back on my pillow as I felt my eyes close again. The birds sang and I groan again, Annoying little shits.
I turn to face Nick to see him sleeping peacefully, laying on his stomach exposing his bare back and tattoos, his hair is messy because I was tugging at it all night and plumped lips slightly parted as he blows out small breaths, I sigh and trace his tattoos on his arm with my finger. How can I not love him, why do doubt my love for Nickola? His unbelievably handsome, sweet and so damn caring. I have to keep remaindering myself that he got it all. Why does it have to be this complex?
I sniff and wipe away my tear that slipped down my cheek. I never once thought that my love for Nickola will ever fade because I only learned to love him just one month ago and I hate myself for it. This is just too selfish of me, this is completely unfair to Nickola. I 'am still so completely, irritably in love with Andrew Harvey. I look at Nickola and slip closer towards him wrapping my arms around him "I'm so sorry" I whisper with a shaken voice. I kiss his cheek and slip out of bed quickly putting on some running shorts and a tank top and head down for a run to clear my head.
I run down the road the cold wind hit my face causing the small tears to freeze on my skin, I run faster as the bits of my hair to fly away from my face. I turn the corner pumping my legs hard and fast as I take the shortcut through the woods; it was all a simple routine Andrew and I would take every day after graduation.
Why did I come here?
Why am I here?
Andrew might be here. Andrew will defiantly be here.
Regardless I continue to run up the hill. I just want to see him I need to see him. I run faster skipping the rocks and jumping the small lakes and puddles. I pass my favorite rose bush and rip off the peddles as I passed and put them to my nose letting all the memories seep through. I let out an agitated sigh and climb over the cliff causing the rocks below me to tussle, I look around hoping to see Andrew but instead, I see an empty hill and I close my eyes tight in order not to scream.
As I reach the top I slow down taking in the beautiful colors of the sky and the nature around me I was surrounded by the big beautiful mountains and giant trees that towered over me making beautiful shadows from the leafs. I breathe in the fresh smell of pine and oak and sigh loosing myself in everything. Memories washed over me as I look around, the stone and the giant rock in the same spot as they were and the wooden bench still looking out to the city and I noticed the small picture that was nailed to the tree.
I got closer and my eyes filled with tears I pick off the picture and sit down on the bench as I look out to sunrise hugging the-the photograph close to my chest
"Tia?"
I whip my head around to spot Andrew, I smile widely at him then look out to the sunrise again. God, I forgot how sexy he was when he says my name. "Andrew"
"What are you doing here Babe?" He asked softly. I shrug and lean back on the bench without a word. He was okay, he was alive.
I smiled widely and relaxed being able to breath.
"Do you remember the last time we were here? We watched the sunset and we didn't go home until one?" I ask with a smile. His masculine scent hit my nose as he sat down next to me. From the corner of my eye, he smiles and also looks out to the sunrise.
"I remember"
"We went swimming in the lake until one in the morning" I laugh. I see him face me with a smile and I haven't been so happy in my life. I face him with a smile his wearing a faded maroon mussel tee with black shorts and Nikes. "Babe, how can I ever forget"
My heart flutters when he calls me that. It only makes me feel much happier and I know I shouldn't be feeling this way towards Andrew but I cannot help it. We broke it off; yes, we live 2000 miles away from each other yes, but that didn't stop us from loving each other.
"You can't call me that anymore," I say looking away.
He sighs and looks out to the sunrise "I know"
"Then why do you call me that?"
Andrew shrugs and twitches into a smile. "Because it's not the same if I don't"
I scoff but I'm feeling giddy, He smiles and scoots closer towards me. I don't move or look at him because I was too nervous and too in love to speak.
"I miss you. So much Babe" he said softly, so close to my skin causing shivers down my spine.
I sigh and look over to him, where he is already looking down on the bench. I follow his gaze and to see our initials T + A. I run my finger along the carving feeling the spikes of the wood prick on my figure tips. He did this on his 21st birthday. Said we will always be together, no matter how far we are.
"Where did you go Andrew? These four days" I say sadly. He rests his hand on top of mine, I don't pull my hand back or flinch because I miss his feel and his damn touch. His thumb runs on my knuckles like he used to and rests his forehead on my shoulder and I look down at him and hesitate to touch him.
"I had to take care of a few things, we're safe now" he says softly. I sniff and blink removing the tears in my eyes, he squeezes my hand gently and rubs the pad of his thumb in my knuckles. "I miss you so much babe"
"I miss you so much more" I whisper under my breath. He shoots up his head with a bright smile and pulls me close. I yelp when he left me with ease and sits me comfortably on his lap wrapping his arms around my waist like he used to.
Andrew chuckles and hugs me tighter dropping his head to my neck so I can't get away, but I never tried to get away because all I need is him; I leaned back and rested my head on his as he breathed down my neck, I gulped.
"I miss when I kissed you," he says softly hugging me tighter, he placed a gentle kiss on my neck and I feel myself exposing more of my neck, Andrew sighed and swayed us slowly.
I miss you so much more.
No. Nickola.
"He doesn't have to know," Andrew says as if he is reading my thoughts. I shiver and close my eyes tightly when his breath tickled my jaw. I shook my head rapidly
"I'm not going behind Nickola's back. It's not right, it's cheating"
"But you were my first Babe" I close my eyes shut as he places small kisses on my neck.
"Andrew" I breath.
You shouldn't be enjoying this, you have a loving boyfriend who is sleeping in my bed, under our roof!!
"Do you know how hard it is for me to see with someone else. To see him touch you and kiss you?" he asked painfully, my eyes welled with tears as the regret washed over me but when I feel his breath fan my neck it made me forget everything. He places another kiss, making breath.
"I used to be the one to make you feel good, do you remember?" I gulp and he pulls me close running his fingers down my neck and my leg, I nod my head helplessly.
"Do you know how hard it is for me to witness someone steal you away so easily?"
I stay quiet, unable to say a word. Suddenly I have spun around so that I 'am facing Andrew. My legs are around his waist and I try to steady myself by wrapping my hands around his neck. Andrew's hands are clasped around my waist and pull me closer as I saw the lust and determination take over his eyes, he craned his neck and gulped.
"Since you came I wanted to kiss you so badly"
"We can't"
"I know we can't Babe, but don't say you don't want to kiss me. I can see the way you look at me; I see the way you miss me. I know you want to kiss me."
I close my eyes tightly as he rests his forehead on mine, feeling his minty breath on my lips as-as he creases my cheek and tucks a strand behind my ear. "He doesn't have to know. No one has to know princess" he whispers so close to my lips. I quickly lick my lips as he runs his figures down from my waist to my hips, and down to my thighs, stocking them lightly.
I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. I just savor his touch, remembering all of all the time we have spent together. I grab a hold of his hands and hold them still.
"I cannot. Go behind Nickola's back. What happens when he finds out about what we used to be?" I whispered, Andrew shook his head and he begged me slightly, tears fell from my cheek as Andrew managed a way to take a hold of my hands and slowly wrapped them around his neck as he shook his head only mirroring my tears.
"Andrew?"
"Yeah baby" Andrew cupped my cheeks and leaned his forehead against mine.
"What happens when he finds out -- that I'm still -- so fucking in love with you?"
Andrew pulled away and looks into my eyes with so much happiness, he smiled widely and laughed as the relief hit him like a wave. "He'll have to deal with me".
Before I can breathe Andrew crashes his lips on mine. Instant sparks zap through my body and memories flood my brain, from the first time we saw each other to the first kiss we shared. I wanted to kiss him so badly, I wanted him close so badly. We were meant to be together; we love each other so fucking much to the point where we have to deny it.
Andrew pulls me incredibly close as if I'm going to slip away from his arms. I find myself gripping his neck and tugging him closer. He grazed my lips with his tongue not letting any chances slip away and helplessly, in desperation I let him. Fire lived within his kisses and since I could remember he melted every part of me.
He groans as I run my fingers through his hair as he his hand make contact with my skin, I take a breath in surprise but he only pulls me back not allowing me to leave.
I can't-do this. I can't-do this. Nickola. We can't hurt him. I can't hurt him.
I pull away quickly, breathing heavily. I feel my lips are swollen and Andrew's too, we are both breathless, both dazed, both filled with the same lust and affection that we once shared. Andrew creases my cheek and pulls me into a familiar tight hug, I sigh on his neck as he plays with the ends of my hair like he used to.
I lay on Andrew's his chest listening to his heart rapidly beat and I wrap my arms around him tightly as I feel his chest rise and fall. "I still love you. I love you so much" he says breathlessly. I shake my head and hugs him back tightly.
"You can't say that Andrew" I sniff as a tear falls down my cheek.
"I love you," he says again, he sways us.
"Stop" I crack; I look in his brown eyes just mesmerized by the pure love. I run my figures through his chocolate brown hair and then cup his cheeks, he shuts his eyes leaning into my touch.
"I love you so much," Andrew said. He wipes my tear away then takes hold of my hand and intertwines our fingers together. I hug him, pulling him close and kiss his neck.
"I love you so much more. So much more"
I scurry off Andrew's lap and cup his jaw, placing a soft lingering kiss on his lips. I pull away and turn sprinting away without a second glance.
What have I done? What have I done? THIS ISN'T FARE!