Kiss of Revenge Ch. 10: Downfall Kiss
CHARLES' POV:
I knew I have to tell RB eventually. I knew I have to break her heart again. I don't want to... but I knew.
It was a mistake I said. It was never my intention I said. But she didn't listen. Or she's too wounded to listen. She was crying. Her eyes are closed from too much crying. She's shaking uncontrollably. I want to hold her. And I did. Despite the fact that she hates me. I wrapped my arms around her. I want to comfort her. But she pushed me away and a stinging slap on the left side of my face comes right after.
How could you, she asked in between her sobs. And I didn't know the answer. I ran after her as she leaves... but she's gone even before I get there.
*Earlier that day..*
I walked out of my room and I smell bacon. Dumiretso ako sa kusina where I saw her cooking. RB. She's cooking for me and it makes my stomach flutters with excitement. RB wearing a purple and white apron with her dark brown hair in a messy bun. She's shouting ofcourse dahil sa pagtalsik ng mantika mula sa pan, waking everyone up. I laugh silently.
"You're awake." she said as she turns and smiles at me with a smile on her face. Then reality hit me. Emma. I looked down at her belly bump now covered by a shirt and an apron - the same apron I imagined RB in just moments ago. "Goodmorning" she added as she puts the bacon on the table.
"What are you doing?" I asked. Hindi ko intensyon maging rude, but it sounded that way.
"I'm... sorry if I already intrude your home. I just... I'm hungry that's all." she answered and her face saddens. Damn!
"I'm sorry. It's just... you're pregnant. You're not supposed to be doing anything, right?"
She seems to buy what I said and her smile's back on. "Oh. I'm just pregnant Charles. Not crippled. And besides, it's the first time I felt good since I knew about my pregnancy." She puts two plates on the table and served each one breakfast. "Let's eat."
I sat on the isle and she's seating on my right side. She seems happier compared to last night. She looked up and caught me staring. She smiled again.
"Did you sleep well?" she asked.
Did I sleep well? Is dreaming about RB crying and hating me and leaving means well? No. I guess not. I choose not to answer her. I heard that the mother's emotion are directly connected that to the child she's carrying.
"The place where you'll be staying is ready by afternoon. You'll be with a private nurse and two housemaids. If you need anything, just call me."
She froze. Her spoon's frozen at midair and she stares at me. Ibinaba nya yung kamay nya and asked. "I thought... you and I..."
"We can't live together Emma." is all I say. "I'll be the father of our child, but I can't be anymore than that. I'll be at every doctor's appointment. I'll be with you in every step of your pregnancy. But we can't be together if that's what you think."
She swallowed and she nods a little and smiles a little. "Yeah. I'm... I'm sorry if... I just thought." She wipes away a tear. I hold her hand, but she took it away shaking her head. She looked up at me again. "No. I'm fine." and she smiles and stood up and went to the guest room.
I'm left on the table. I burried my face on my hands with both my elbows resting on the table. How fucked up of a life is this? Narinig ko ang pagtunog ng doorbell and it brought me back to now. I stood up and went to open the door.
And I saw both my parents standing outside.
RB'S POV:
It was late afternoon, when I finally heard from Charles. Kakatapos pa lang ng klase ko and I'm on my way to work when I received a text message from him. Susunduin niya daw ako after shift.
"Okay, see you later. I love you." I replied.
Naghintay ako ng reply niya, but he didn't. Instead, he called right back.
"I love you RB." is the first thing na sinabi niya pagkasagot ko ng tawag.
Napangiti ako. "Okay na yung text na lang. Nag-abala ka pa. Hihi."
Tunog malandi ba? Wala eh. Ang ganda ko kasi. Haha!
"I just wanted you to hear it from me baby. I'll see you later, okay?" he said.
"Sure. See you later. I love you." And then I hang up.
Coming back to work after our, meaning me and Charles' scene sa office is not easy. Ang daming chismis na umiikot sa office. Sabi nila, may bomb threat daw. Yung isa pa sinabi na ginamit yung office para sa shooting ng isang romantic comedy.
Basically, that's the main topic for the day sa trabaho. And everytime hihingin nila yung opinyon ko, umiiling na lang ako at sinasabi kong wala akong ideya.
Ang alam ko lang, excited akong makita si Charles mamaya. Sinong talande ang hindi, di ba? Haha.
I imagine him waiting outside his car, pareho nung hinintay niya ko sa labas ng school dati. But this time I won't run away from him. No matter what, I'll stay.
And true to my imagination, the moment I step out of the office, he was there, just like he promised. Nasa loob siya ng kotse niya and he immediately went out the moment he saw me.
I smiled. He smiled a little.
Lumakad ako papalapit sa kanya and he meet me halfway. Nalunod ako sa amoy niya nung nagkalapit kami. Siguro kung idedescribe ang amoy sa langit, ganito yun. Subtle but very masculine.
He touched my face as I close my eyes and smell his scent. "Mukha tayong tanga dito." sabi ko habang nakapikit pa din yung mata ko.
Narinig ko yung tawa niya, "Sort of." he said.
Nung bubuksan ko na yung mata ko, I saw his face zooming in, then I felt his lips on mine. It was a short kiss, but still, hindi maiwasan ng hininga ko na kapusin. "I love you RB, please remember that always." he whispered.
Tumingin ako sa mga mata niya. Searching for something. I feel like there's something wrong but he's not showing it. Ngumiti siya and I nod and smiled back. He then took my hand at umalis na kami.
It was a cold night, and as I sit next to him on his car as I stare outside, I suddenly remember something.
"Nasa'n na nga pala si Emma? And how is she?" I asked. I looked at him and I saw his face shift into a different mood. He's not comfortable talking about her.
"Hinanapan ko na siya ng matutuluyan, and I hired a nurse and two housemaids to take care of her."
"Hmmmm. Okay. Pwede ba natin siyang dalawin. I mean, hindi sa friendly ako masyado, pero buntis siya at ikaw lang kakilala niya dito. Tsaka, nasabi ko na bang selosa ako? I'd rather you have me with you kapag dadalaw ka sa kanya, kesa ikaw lang pupunta dun mag-isa. Not that I don't trust you. Buntis na siya. Pero babae pa din yun Charles. And I'm selfish that way."
"Okay, we'll do that if you want. Sa'n mo pala gusto mag-dinner baby?"
"Kahit saan." I said.
We stopped by at this Italian restaurant. Dinner was quiet. Himala no? Pa'no ba naman kasi ako makakapag-ingay sa isang restaurant. And besides, Charles' not talking to me. Hay. Siguro dahil sa sinabi ko kanina.
"I'm sorry." I said nung patapos na kami sa pagkain.
He looked up at me. "Sorry? Saan?"
"Sa sinabi ko kanina. Hindi dapat ako umarte na parang may pinagdududahan kita. I mean, buntis na si Emma. Hindi na dapat ako mathreaten sa kanya. Pero kanina, I acted like a nagging girlfriend."
I heard him sigh at nung tignan ko siya, his face is sullen. As if he’s carrying a huge burden.
Hinawakan ko yung kamay niya, “I know you’re stressed about your friend and her pregnancy. Don’t worry I’ll be here with you. Kahit na hindi ako ganun ka komportable, I’ll help you deal with her.”
He squeezed my hand at tinignan niya ko. A tear rolled down his cheek. “I’m sorry.”
I smiled. “Wala yun.”
Umiling siya. “No. I’m sorry RB. It was just one night...” he said.
I froze. It was a cold night after all. But this feels like winter. Or worse, this feels like death.
Just one night, he said.
Hindi RB. Mali ka nang pagkakadinig.
“I’m sorry. Ano nga yun?” I asked him again. Just to make sure. Just to make sure I’m not assuming things again. Just to make sure I’m not being wrong again.
Wala nang luha sa mga mata niya nung magsalita siya ulit. His eyes are dead. It’s like he’s in an ugly place, trying to remember something awful.
“I was at a bar in London, drinking. It was a Friday night, trying to drown myself. That morning, I got a hold of you again, I finally get a number where I can contact you. But then you changed it again, you run away from me again.
It was like that for almost 6 months RB. I’ll find you, try to reconnect with you, pero iiwas ka. I’m not tired of chasing you. I won’t get tired of chasing you my love. I’m just hurt. Hurt by our constant hide and seek. Hurt by leaving you. Hurt by loving you so. I’m also confused. I thought you love me, I thought you’ll wait for me. That’s why I decided to get drunk that night. Just that night. Just to numb the pain. Then she showed up...”
Tama nga yung pagkakarining ko. “So you fucked her?”
He looked at me again, and I saw pain in his eyes. “Lalaki lang ako RB.”
Talaga? Gagamitin niya sa’kin yung dahilan na yun?! I thought he’s better than that. I stood up. Hindi pa ko umiiyak. I still can’t believe this. I’m gripping the edge of the table hard, trying to keep my balance.
“That’s bullshit Charles! We both know that excuse is bullshit!” I shout. Nanginginig ako sa galit. Sa sakit.
“I was drunk. I was pained, I was hurt. RB, tao lang ako. What do you expect? It’s not my intension to--”
“To what?! To get her pregnant and have her follow you here and ruin everything?! And break my heart again?! Tao lang din ako Charles! Pero hindi ako nagpabuntis nung nawala ka!”
“I know.”he said. His voice sounds so mournful. I looked down at him, his eyes are begging. “I’m sorry. I love you RB. Please stay with me.”
Bakit ako na naman? Bakit kami ulit? Hindi ba pwedeng ibang tao naman yung biktima ng ganitong sakit? Hindi ba pwedeng ibang tao naman yung makaranas ng ganitong pangyayari? Bakit parang hindi kami pwedeng maging masaya? Bakit parang ang bilis nakawan yung saya sa’ming dalawa?
I tried to hold my tears. I tried to keep my emotions to myself. I tried... but I failed. I was shaking uncotrollably. I can’t make sense of everything. I can’t understand. I heard him say it was a mistake. I heard him say it was not his intention. I don’t know if he’s referring to the baby, or my broken heart. I don’t know anymore. I’m not capable of thinking. I’m not capable of feeling anything other this miserable, miserable pain.
I remember him standing up and standing next to me. I remember him wrapping his arms around me. I remember pushing him away and slapping him in the face and running away. I remember. I just remember but I don’t feel.
Charles’ POV:
She’s gone even before I get there.
RB’s POV:
I don’t know where I’m at or how I even got here. After I ran away from Charles, hindi ako tumigil kakatakbo papalayo. Hindi din tumigil ang mga luha ko. Gusto ko lang makaalis sa nangyari.
I don’t know where I’m at or where to go from here. Umupo ako sa gilid nang kalsada para magpahinga. It’s a cold night. I hug myself trying to save what’s left after that downfall.
I don’t know where I’m at or if I ever want to go back to where I have been. I remember headlights passing by. I hear car engines roaring at the background. And I still can’t feel anything but.
I don’t know where I’m at as I hear a car honking. Hindi ko pinansin nung una, pero nung ayaw tumigil, hinanap ko kung saan nanggagaling yung tunog. Then I saw her. Cassandra.
Tumayo ako sa kinauupuan ko and I started walking away. Pakyu ka tadhana! Sa dinami-dami ng pwede mong ipadala, si Cassandra pa. Baka lang hindi mo natandaan, kakambal niya si Charles. Bobo ka ba o nang-aasar ka?!
Hindi ko inaasahan na susundan niya ko. Pero dahil nga sa tarantado si Destiny, there she is driving her car at a slow phase, honking.
“Get in.” She said.
Hindi ako tumingin sa direksyon nya. Patuloy lang ako sa paglalakad, gusto ko ngang makalayo di ba? But she won’t let me. That bitch.
She honked her car several times again. Pero wala. Deadma. Patawid na ko nang kabilang kalsada. I thought titigil na siya but she didn’t, pinaandar niya yung kotse niya and she almost hit me.
Tumingin ako sa kanya, she’s already standing outside her car and with a calm voice she said. “It’s either you’ll get in or sasagasaan kita. You choose RB.”
“Talaga? Handa kang makulong nang dahil lang sa’kin? How sweet of you.” Sagot ko sarcastically.
“I’ll be able to get out in no time. But you’ll be dead forever. Again, your call.”
Leche kayong magkapatid! Lumakad ako nang labag sa kalooban ko papunta sa passenger door ng kotse niya at sumakay.
“Good choice.” She said then she drives.