A/N: What can I do when my Hunger Games obsession is coming back?
Write shitty oneshot about musicians murdering each other!
If you don't know HG, don't run away, I've explained everything lol
--
Once upon a time there was George Harrison, our maine hero of this oneshot, the boy from District 6 who loved food (and Ringo) but oh, what a shame it's Hunger Games AU so they're all DYING FROM HUNGER.
Welp.
Unfortunately today was a reaping day so they were basically choosing kiddos 12-18 yrs old to murder each other on the arena in deathly Hunger Games, watched by the entire country as a reality show. Fun!
Geo stood in the crowd. As always, gurls went first. They choose some Pattie Boyd, prettie blondie, spoiler, she'll die lol.
Then the boy.
"its not meh," prayed George. "it not meh."
It was him, what a suprise.
"Oh fuck it."
* * *
The prepararions for the Games begun. Every boy and girl chosen (24, pretty fuckin much) prepareded for the deathly tournament, improvinh their skills and learning new thingz.
All except Hurrison who just was eating much.
"These are my last days alive," he thought to himself. "Ill just enjoy eating. The othee tributes are better then me anyway."
And yes, everyone was better then him. Brian Jones, who waithe slughter, smiling, ready to kill every1 with his axe. Keith Moon with lots of explosives. Wild cowboy Jon Bon Jovi. The Lizard King known as Jim Morrison. Joan Jett with a bat. Even Kurt Cobain with a shotgun (it wasnt sure who will he use it against tho).
So, little George, ur fucked :)
* * *
"Okay, losers," said Brian Epstain, their mentor coming into da room. "Its your last day of life, how do ye feel?"
"Gfeat," Geo replied sarcastilly, with a mouth full of sandwich.
Pattie was very pale; she probably cried all night. "I wanna go home."
The time was passing by-what a gr8 way to skip some things lol - and finally. The Hunger Games were about to begin.
"what is going on here," said Harrison to himself, when the countdown begun and 24 tributes stood all around the place. The arena was big,rocky with high mountains and some woods in the distance. Purrfect place to die.
Boom! The Games started.
George Harrison ran away, screaming HARE KRISHNA, as the musicians murdered each other.
Brian Jones found an axe and was throwing it at everything that moved. Jimmy Page and Robert Plant worked together,, Roger Waters picked up a knife at looked around.he saw David Gilmour and grinned maniacally.
Rip Gilmour
Plant smiled seeing dead bodies everywhdere and turned 2 Jimmy. "We did it, Pagey! We-" He saw Page lifeless on the ground. Pete Townshed killed him w his nose. "no! i'll do mY REVENGE! DiE!"
Keith Emerson was throwing knives, he trained well on his pianos. Carl was dying somewhere in bushes, but Keef gave no fuck.
And Geo was still running away; everything was blurred.
Suddenly he ran on someone and scremed and tried to get up and that pearson screamed, too, and they were both screaming.
"Oh my God, sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!" the boy with a curly hair (his name was probably Brian) cried.
Harrison panicked and ran.
brian blinked and stood up, stepping accidentally on an ant and killing it. "Oh no! NO!!!" He tried to resuscitate it but failed, so he commited sucide. [*]
The day was ending and soon the arena became as dark as the sky and all of them tried to sleep.
George tried too but he was hella hungry. if he only found some food...
Luckily, it's the arena so everything was artifical so he found the SANDWICH TREE!
"Ah, I start to like these games."" he said to himself, ate sandwiches and fell asleep.
Harrison woke up to the sound of a.... Cat? Yes, he couldnt be wronf, it was a meow. He saw a small, furry creature, standing next to him.
Suddenly Freddie mercury emerged from bushes, surrounded by an army of cats.
"Now, my cats! KILL HIM!"
Every cat hissed and turned into small devil, chasing terrified Geo. Freddie laughed but suddenly died, stabbed by a Brian Jones.
Wow damn Brian
The blonde smiled and watched George disappearing. "I'll get you, my dear. Sure I'll do."
* * *
George climbed the small mountain and rested on it, scared, dazed and confused HAA LOOK AT THIS REFERENCE. Sudden explosions made him jump.
he l00ked carefully and saw small, innocent looking guy planting bombs and sending anoder children to heaven.
"Take this, bitch!" the boy known as Keith Moon screamed and hugged some bomb. "I love explosions"
#KeithXBombs 💜💜 #OTP
"Why is everone fucked up here? thought Harrison to himself.
Soon der was a second night of the deathy Games and the portraits of dead tributes appeared on the sky.
Geo counted them all.
Jimmy Page anf Robert Plant from district 1. Pete Townshend, district 2. Both Keith Emerson and Carl Palmer, district 3. David Gilmour and Jim Morrison, district 5. Pattie from his district. Brian May, district 7. Both Michael Nesmith and Davy Jones, district 8. Axl Rose and Slash, district 10. And Steven Tyler, district 11.
14 died, 10 still alive.
Rip them all, it's time you cry.
Meanwhile, when everyone was killong,, Bob Dylan was running around and picking flowers, bc he's a smol bean.
Until, of course, Brian Jones ended his life. Brian, stop.
Also meanwhile Roger Waters was building a Wall, but unfortunately fell off and broke his neck. Shame.
People all around watched the Hunger Games with an excitement. What a great year! Smol kiddos dying all the freaking time!
Who do you cheer? Who's gonna win?
The day 3 begun with an earthquake; the whole are was shaking. George instantly woke up and tried 2 climbed down da mountaing, but fell off at some point and screamed in pain. He saw darkness and fought to breathe.
Suddenly some1 walked to him.
Wild cawboy Jon Bon Jovi with a gun. "Now Im gonna kill y-"
Suddenly a giant rock fell on Jon and killed him. Thank you, rock ex machina
All around the earthquake Kurt Cobain had a shotgun and tried to shoot Moonie but everything was shakin so badly he shoot himself in da head and died lol.
Only 6 tributes remained alive and Joj was in between them! Wow!! The rest was: Keef Moon - yes, he's gonna be a problem. Brian Jones - damn. Bri was a psycho. Also... Some other guys he couldn't remember
finally,, an earthquake ended hooray and they had time to rest (or murder)
Harrison still had some sandwiches from the sandwich tree, but had no more water supplies so decided to find some lake or smth.
BOOM!
All of sudden Keith Moon exploded. Probably trying to kill Geo.
Joj shrugged #Nofucksgiven and continued exploring
When the third night came, nubody else died and thing started to be boring, Jimmy Page suddenly resurrected wit a satanic magic. He climbed the highest mountain drew pentagram with his own blood and summoned Satan.
Wow this is getting interesting
Storm clouds formed; everything was consumed by a darkness. And then SATAN APPEARED.
"WHO CALLED ME?!" scremed Satan
"Me," Page waved
"Oh, hi, Page. What's up?"
"nothing, just want you to k i l l e v e r y o n e i n h e r e!"
""k then" said Satan and killed the nearest person who was Joan Jett, rip, but then got bored and left and Jimmy fell off from the mountain - loser lol.
And Harrison finally found a lake. Wow wow
He was just bout to drink when he heard footsteps followed by a maniacal laugh. Brian Jones.
"Finally. I got you. Now I'll kill you!" The blonde didn't seem very dangerous, but his axe soaked in blood did. But today George decides to not run away to stand up anfd fightt
Brian raised his weapon and ran to him with a scream.
George just moved away
Jonesy fell into the lake and drowned.
"Well, that was easy," giorgio murmured to himself. "Now I have only one person to kill..."
Suddenly he had a heart attack and died rip im pepperoni ;--;
...
Boom!
"Ladies and gentleman, we present you the winner of the 39th Hunger Games, Keith Richards from a district 4!"
"say what," mumbled Richards, drugged under the bushes for the entire Games.
Glory to the victor and rip to the victims
THE END