Layne's POV
Five... Four... Three... Two... One...
I wait for Kaylie Jane's door to slam before pulling myself off the ground. Was it the best idea to jump her? Probably not. Did I regret it?
Probably not.
I head upstairs behind her, falling into a fitful sleep. Even though I with the confidence I'd do it again, I was worried about what would happen to me in the morning. Kaylie Jane is so unpredictable and moody. Sometimes she's my best friend. Sometimes I think she's trying to be the death of me. There was no telling what KJ would roll out of bed tomorrow. She could very well put me out. And then what? I'd be homeless because I have the libido of a high school teenager and the will power of an ADHD patient off Adderall.
I come down for breakfast the morning after to the smell of fresh bread and bacon. Still, I don't relax.
"Morning," she greets me, pretending nothing's happened, per her usual.
I tentatively take a seat at the table and she slides me a plate before taking a seat across from me.
"Looks good," I compliment her, testing the waters.
"Thanks," she takes a bite of bacon.
"How was your date last night?" I ask, attempting to make small talk.
She chuckles, "I thought you're supposed to ask me that before shoving your tongue down my throat."
"Not in my book," I take another bite of toast.
"It was fine. The date I mean," she replies.
"I assume you're not going out with her again?" I wish that didn't come out as threatening as it did.
"We um... We decided we'd be better as friends," she clears her throat, "She decided, I mean."
Right. We finish eating in silence before KJ gets up and starts cleaning up. She's really going to pretend nothing happened? She even has the nerve to hum as she cleans. Suddenly I'm hit with a wave of irritability. I watch her, drumming my fingers on the table, resisting the urge to choke her out.
Actually--- I'm not irritated--- I'm frustrated. And possibly beyond frustrated. She isn't even doing anything and I'm ready to jump her. But I'm also ready to choke her out. I'm tired of waiting.
KJ senses I haven't left, and asks, "Is something wrong?"
"Yeah," I silently stand up, "I can't keep pretending, Kaylie Jane."
"Don't tell me you're thinking about last night," she says, still not turning to face me.
"Don't try to tell me you're not," I push back, moving closer.
She chuckles, "You were drunk," she explains away.
I shake my head, "Not that drunk," I step up behind her, "How long are you gonna keep this up?" I ask.
She jumps, forever surprised by my proximity, "Keep up what?"
"Keep. Fighting. Me," she turns around and I step even closer, leaving her no personal space, "I want you. And you want me. But you are insisting on playing games. Only, I don't play games, KJ. And I certainly don't play games with other people's kids."
"I--" she opens her mouth to either lie to me or get smart, but I cut her off by putting two of my fingers into her mouth. "Sssssshhhh."
I slowly pull my fingers from her lips as she closes her eyes and lightly sucks on them. Fuck. My heart stops for a minute as we lock eyes, "You ready to stop playing games?"
She kisses me unexpectedly, cupping my face in her hands. Our tongues intertwine in an erotic dance, before she pulls away. "Fuck."
I attempt to catch my breath, but before I can she's scooping me up and carrying me to her room. She tosses me onto her bed, which she so willingly shared with Vin.
"I can't fucking stand you," she pulls off her shirt and straddles me, "At all."
"The feelings mutual," I laugh, pulling her in.
***
KJ's POV
You have to be kidding me... Really KJ?
I roll over, thinking maybe last night was a dream, and finding the other half of the bed empty and remade. Maybe it was. That night. And the other morning. And before that too. Fucking shit.
Since that morning she'd caught me in the kitchen it was like we were fucking like rabbits. One look from her and it was one. Or actually--- Layne was always on. Like a fucking faucet.
My phone rings and I answer it.
"Tell me you're not fucking my sister!"
"Fucking hell, I need to start checking my caller ID," I mumble, "Who is this?"
"Dil? Your landlord?" he continues, "You know, the one who can have you homeless in a fucking heartbeat?"
Nigga... "Yeah, yeah, Dil was enough," I lie, "And no I'm not fucking Layne."
She's fucking me.
"And anyway, she's grown?" I find myself defending her, "She came over here on her own. After you ostracized and alienated her out of your house."
"I don't think I like that tone," his voice turns stern.
Suddenly, a third voice sounds in the background. There's some murmuring away from the mic, before the line goes dead. Thank God.
I let myself buy into the lie, but I catch a glimpse of myself stepping into the shower, blocking out the hickies on my body.Nope. Didn't happen. I change into a a black tank and yoga pants, before heading downstairs. My fantasy bursts as I find her downstairs, washing the dishes she'd pulled me away from last night, my shirt hanging off her body.
"Morning," she smiles at me and I almost faint.
"Morning," I start a pot of coffee, "Sleep good?"
"Fantastic," she keeps smiling.
"Stop looking at me like that, okay?" I avert my eyes, "I feel like you're undressing me with your eyes."
"I am," she shrugs. I give her a serious look and she rolls her eyes, "I'll stop."
"I need to be perfectly clear," I state, "That was a one time thing."
"It was more that once," she teases, "But fine. If you wanna lie to yourself, it was a one time thing. Never again."
"I'm not lying to myself," I refute. I already can't get you out of my head.
"Yes you are," she pours my cup of coffee for me, "Because I know, and you know, that you're weak. And sooner or later, you're gonna want me again. Because I'm gonna want you again. And just like last night, you're not gonna be able to tell me 'no'. Just last this morning. And the night before that."
She places the cup of coffee in front of me and kisses my cheek, "Enjoy, baby."
She walks out the kitchen and I groan, hating the fact that she's right, as usual. I'm going to want her again. Which I know, because I want her right now. Daammiittttt.
I go to add sugar and cream to my coffee, only to see she's already made it how I like. I take a sip. It's perfect. I hate how she's noticed how I like my coffee. It's hard to hate her when she's so sweet to me. I drink contemplatively, trying to think of a way for me to get myself out of the trap I've fallen into.
I vaguely remember being in this exact situation with her in high school. "This isn't a negotiation, this is how it's gonna be."
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, staring at the ceiling. I'm fucked... In more ways than one.
I open my eyes and see Layne in front of me, "I've never seen someone so stressed after sex," she climbs into my lap, "What's wrong? It's just fucking."
I stand up, causing her to slide off of me, "I'm going for a jog."
"I'll come with," she reaches for me but I move away.
"No!" she recoils and I soften my voice, "By myself."
I quickly exit the kitchen and pull on a pair of my running shoes and take off, her words to me ringing. It's just fucking.
Right. And first it was just me teaching her how to drive. Then we were just friends. Then she was just sleeping in my bed. And when we were kids it was "just kissing." I wonder how long we can pretend-- I can pretend-- that putting the word "just" in front of whatever we do is going to mean it'll stay that way. Shit, before anything else, we were 'just neighbors.'
And then there was Vin. We aren't dating, no where even close-- but I know he thinks about it. It was why we stopped talking after college. It was killing him that I would never totally be hisBecause he knows that Layne has my heart, regardless of how much I resist.
Everyone seems to know it, except me.
Even Dil knew it, which was why he pushed me away five years ago. And why he had harassed me five minutes ago. Fuck me.
I jog until I reach town, then turn back, having worked out my problems, or at least figured out how to lie to myself about them.
When I enter the house, I find Layne reclined on the couch in the living room, watching TV. She hears me enter and looks up, "Hey."
"Hey," I approach the couch and she sits up just enough for me to sit on the edge of the couch.
"So have you calmed down after running out on me like the house was on fire?" she questions.
"I'm sorry about that," I apologize sincerely, "I just had to do some thinking."
"About what?" she cuts off the TV and turns to me, "You were gone for hours?"
"Earlier you said it's just about sex?" She nods. "Okay then."
"That's it? You run out, you're gone for hellas, and then you just come back and decide that, 'oh yeah I think I do wanna keep sleeping with her?'" she stares me down and we make eye contact.
"That's exactly how it happened."
"Well okay then, shit," she stands up and grabs my hand, dragging me to the bedroom, "Took you fucking long enough."
***
That night I lay awake, listening to Layne's soft breathing. She's wrapped around me, her impossibly long hair fanning out around her. Her skin is still impossibly soft to the touch. Her hair still smells like sweet roses and happiness. Even in her unconscious state, she's making my heart race, and I feel it thud against my rib cage.
I carefully scoot from under her, reaching in my nightstand and retrieving my stash and rolling up a blunt. I head outside to smoke it, inhaling the thick smoke and letting it sit in my lungs. Eventually the burn is too much and I exhale it, coughing a little.
The quiet night reminders me that fall has arrived, and soon winter will be here too. The leaves will fall and die. Snow will cover the earth. Time will move on. I'll age.
And I'll still be a bitch.
My phone buzzes and I see it's a text from Nat.
Lifeline: You won't believe where I'm at
I stare at the message before swiping it from my home screen and finishing my blunt in silence.